FabSwingers.com forum: I have a gf but I'm in love with someone else

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So I have a gf, who I've been with for many years, and I love her but I wouldn't say I'm "in love" with her anymore, but I can't bare being apart from her.

And I have a close friend that I've been sleeping with on and off for a couple years (she has a bf too, same situation). I feel like I'm completely head over heels in love with this girl I'm sleeping with and I feel like she feels somewhat the same about me. However I feel like we both are hesitant about leaving our partners for eachother incase it doesn't work out and ruins our friendship.

I also (incase you couldn't tell by me being on this site) have a habit of cheating a lot, because I can never help myself, there's just too many pussies and dicks in the world and it's not fair that I should be restrained to just one. And If the girl and I ever did get together I wouldn't want to hurt or disrespect her the same way I do my current gf.

Anyone on here ever been in a similar situation?

Anyone on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 19/11/20 19:40:54]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Kind of similar, had a 6 year relationship and things went stale, sex once a month no more cuddling etc. Met a girl on tinder and instantly found a connection, I was horny everyday thinking about her and has sex every time we got together, we would cuddle for ages and talk about our lives but when I got home to the missus I just felt half empty.

Long story short left the missus to start something with tinder girl, told her I was actually in a relationship when we met but had ended it for her and didn't want to hide anything from her anymore.

Now I have neither...

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By *ikingpairCouple
over a year ago

Cambridge

I think you are confusing love with lust... a new relationship is always going to be more exciting than an old one... Fact!

You are on a swinging site - haven't you ever thought of swinging as a couple...????

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By *erbycouple7Couple
over a year ago

derby

"I think you are confusing love with lust... a new relationship is always going to be more exciting than an old one... Fact!

You are on a swinging site - haven't you ever thought of swinging as a couple...????

Completely agree with this, love over lust any day.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"So I have a gf, who I've been with for many years, and I love her but I wouldn't say I'm "in love" with her anymore, but I can't bare being apart from her.

Anyone on here ever been in a similar situation?

Anyone on "

No I haven't been in that situation.

Maybe leave your current girlfriend and spend some time as a single person. You can do what you want then

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By *Xtriple7Couple
over a year ago

N Peterborough.

"I think you are confusing love with lust... a new relationship is always going to be more exciting than an old one... Fact!

You are on a swinging site - haven't you ever thought of swinging as a couple...????

Agree with this too.

My Mrs is my partner in swinging, had my best times with her despite having a good amount of fun while single.

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By *teveanddebsCouple
over a year ago

Norwich

So your cheating on your girlfriend and the person you are shagging is cheating on her boyfriend.

Sounds like you were made for each other.

I am curious as to why you are asking advice on a swinging site as this has absolutely nothing to do with swinging.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So I have a gf, who I've been with for many years, and I love her but I wouldn't say I'm "in love" with her anymore, but I can't bare being apart from her.

Anyone on here ever been in a similar situation?

Anyone on "

Just be honest and tell everyone in your life you are Poly and then let them decide if they want to be with you still - you seem to love the secrecy but liars are a real turn off for most people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

a new relationship is always going to have a honeymoon stage, this wont last, i do think you are beeing unfair on your gf tho, personaly i think you want your cake and eat it, in which case as someone has said why not try swinging as a couple, at this rate things will come out, they always do, and you will probably endup with neither. time for some brave choices

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So I have a gf, who I've been with for many years, and I love her but I wouldn't say I'm "in love" with her anymore, but I can't bare being apart from her.

Anyone on here ever been in a similar situation?

Anyone on "

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By *heRazorsEdgeMan
over a year ago

Wales/ All over UK

Do your GF a favour and leave the relationship.

As for the friend, by all means keep seeing her casually as long as she wants to, but be honest with her about you being with others as well.

You’re currently being dishonest with everyone, including yourself so I think being single would give you some perspective

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By *exycouplemmmmCouple
over a year ago

Surrey

"So your cheating on your girlfriend and the person you are shagging is cheating on her boyfriend.

Sounds like you were made for each other.

I am curious as to why you are asking advice on a swinging site as this has absolutely nothing to do with swinging."

Him being 24 maybe means a tad immature! My personal opinion is that at that age... people should be free to meet people and not tied down too early

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By *exycouplemmmmCouple
over a year ago

Surrey

"Do your GF a favour and leave the relationship.

As for the friend, by all means keep seeing her casually as long as she wants to, but be honest with her about you being with others as well.

You’re currently being dishonest with everyone, including yourself so I think being single would give you some perspective "

Agree! Being with someone for ‘years’ at 24 probably contributing to the situation and not in a good way

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By *andlingswingersCouple
over a year ago

Woodbridge

"I think you are confusing love with lust... a new relationship is always going to be more exciting than an old one... Fact!

You are on a swinging site - haven't you ever thought of swinging as a couple...????

He's on a swinging site but he isn't swinging - he's just cheating, otherwise he'd be doing it as a couple. He sounds terrifically immature - most people stop saying "it's not fair" at about ten years old.

But a cheat, not a swinger. Just a liar, really.

Which is utterly crap.

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By *heRazorsEdgeMan
over a year ago

Wales/ All over UK

"Do your GF a favour and leave the relationship.

As for the friend, by all means keep seeing her casually as long as she wants to, but be honest with her about you being with others as well.

You’re currently being dishonest with everyone, including yourself so I think being single would give you some perspective

Agree! Being with someone for ‘years’ at 24 probably contributing to the situation and not in a good way "

Exactly... barely lived and with respect probably has very little life experience. I’m not dissing OP for cheating as we don’t know his exact situation, but it certainly sounds like he’s better off outside of a relationship for a few years

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By *istressZoeTV/TS
over a year ago

cheshire

I was in a relationship for 17 years - to the outside world we were in love but I think it was just a nice comfortable routine x

During that period I wasn't faithful and I'm not proud of that

I experimented with cross dressing and met others in similar situations

I chose to end the relationship and that was painful c

It's allowed me to grow as a person

I'm happy now

I have wonderful close friends and I'm able to choose what I do x

Over a decade later I've experienced some amazing relationships and been entirely truthful about who and what I am

To the OP - it can work - maybe your friend who you are having intense sex with can become your soul mate x

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By *ookMan
over a year ago

london

Dear Deirdre ....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your girlfriend probably wants you to leave too.

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By *aunchy RaccoonsCouple
over a year ago

Exeter

Sounds like a relationship really isn't the best option for you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've been in a similar situation for 10 years. Life is not always straight forward. Sometimes it is a complete cunt. You can't choose who you fall in love with, it just happens.

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

Deffo leave your girlfriend, she deserves better

If you get with the new girl you're seeing, what's to say you won't do the same to her, or she to you?

As others have said, sounds like being on your own for a while might help.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've been in a similar situation for 10 years. Life is not always straight forward. Sometimes it is a complete cunt. You can't choose who you fall in love with, it just happens."

The heart rules the head in those situations. I've fallen for someone I met on here despite knowing from the beginning that it would never be reciprocated

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By *aseMan
over a year ago

Gourock

You have a hard life

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

Relationship is about Trust and respect. Swinging lifestyle is where all parties consent to sexual acts. What you two doing isn't swinging. It's a good first step to admitting you enjoy cheating. But if you want advice, my advice is to leave your girlfriend and see what you're future holds as a cheater

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By *oncupiscence73Woman
over a year ago

South

You’re 24 ..... and you’ve been together ‘for many years’ .. jeez that wouldn’t be for me. Far far too young for serious relationships let alone for one to have gone stale.

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By *unguy_4_uMan
over a year ago

Kettering

think with your head not your cock!

yes you are desired, no doubt having great sex and feel you want to see the new person all the time, its fun, new, your having your cake and eating it with a cheery on top (as is she).

The reality is as a previous posters have said, you are 24 say you cant live without your long term gf... remember that as you will undoubtedly end up with neither!

My advice - have a look in the mirror and a reality check and work out what you will lose (probably more than you will gain)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Finish your relationship. Get therapy about the reasons behind your recurrent infidelity. Cheating completely ruins people's lives and destroys their ability to trust others. It can also destroy children's lives and is the cowardly options. If you're not happy there are two options - talk about it or leave!

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By *averingcoupleCouple
over a year ago

romford

Check your emotions. Cheating and playing with other people need some self discipline if you don't want to ruin your current situation. If you can't control emotions - don't do it.

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By *host63Man
over a year ago

Bedfont Feltham

Perhaps you should so yourself and you g a favour and move on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If your cheating on your partner and she's cheating on her partner and your on a swingers site then she is probably get some from Current partner, you,and others

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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago

Burnleyish (She/They)

"Just be honest and tell everyone in your life you are Poly and then let them decide if they want to be with you still - you seem to love the secrecy but liars are a real turn off for most people."

Except that's not poly. Poly isn't cheating and is damn hard work, it also needs consent from all partners.

He may have the potential to love more than one person but it reads to me like he loves and has formed a deep bond with one person and doesnt understand that 'in love' feeling he's talking about is lust and the hormonal responses of a new relationship, any new relationship.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Limerence

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

If you love your girlfriend tell her the truth and let her make her mind up whether she is prepared to stand by someone who's mugging her off or not. That's the decent thing to do, anything else isn't love, it's selfishness at it's most disgusting.

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