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FAB fatigue

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By *herryblossom_BJ OP   Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

Not sure if it's covid blues but my experience of fab so far has royally put me of men/sex for life. I don't believe what anyone says to me anymore as from my experience, they say one thing and do the other. I get meaningless/over perverted intro messages day in and day out. Most I find out later are married/in relationships and cheating on their partners.

Time to really throw in the towel for good? I just don't know how to change my mindset about fab men.

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By *inkySeeKinkyDoWoman
over a year ago

'tween PontyCarlo & CasVegas in West Yorks

It does get to you sometimes, especially the liars, it kinda makes you feel stupid to believing in them doesnt it.

Take a fab break...hide your profile and put all your message filters on, set your age range to 98-99, and focus on real life stuff that bring you joy for a little while xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not sure if it's covid blues but my experience of fab so far has royally put me of men/sex for life. I don't believe what anyone says to me anymore as from my experience, they say one thing and do the other. I get meaningless/over perverted intro messages day in and day out. Most I find out later are married/in relationships and cheating on their partners.

Time to really throw in the towel for good? I just don't know how to change my mindset about fab men. "

Take everything with a big ol pinch of salt. A lot of people are fantasists and just looking for their kicks, ignore them and they'll go find them elsewhere.

There are some absolute gems about, hard work sorting through I know, but it can be worth it.

I think that covid has a lot to answer for here too, people are still horny and wound up but can't meet, seems to amplify things.

Hope you stick with it and find yourself the fun you want when all this blows over x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not sure if it's covid blues but my experience of fab so far has royally put me of men/sex for life. I don't believe what anyone says to me anymore as from my experience, they say one thing and do the other. I get meaningless/over perverted intro messages day in and day out. Most I find out later are married/in relationships and cheating on their partners.

Time to really throw in the towel for good? I just don't know how to change my mindset about fab men. "

Sorry for your experience but i can assure not all us men are like that, I'm sure like many others on here I am polite & courteous and am never pushy - if my message is deleted or I get a "no thanks" I politely wish them well and move on so please don't think we are all wronguns.

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

I think this is something we all go through from time to time, perhaps block everyone from messaging for a while and enjoy the other features the site has to offer, such as these forums and maybe the cam rooms. Alternatively, you could just hide your profile for a bit. Here if you need to chat in private hun. Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not sure if it's covid blues but my experience of fab so far has royally put me of men/sex for life. I don't believe what anyone says to me anymore as from my experience, they say one thing and do the other. I get meaningless/over perverted intro messages day in and day out. Most I find out later are married/in relationships and cheating on their partners.

Time to really throw in the towel for good? I just don't know how to change my mindset about fab men. "

Is this a fab guy thing or a talking to 'single' guys on the internet thing?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Probably worth a break until next year.

Find something better to do than be objectified by strangers.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I go through this a lot too.

Fab has it's purpose but I struggled to ever imagine having a 'normal' relationship ever again after seeing how many people cheat and without remorse.

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By *herryblossom_BJ OP   Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire


"Not sure if it's covid blues but my experience of fab so far has royally put me of men/sex for life. I don't believe what anyone says to me anymore as from my experience, they say one thing and do the other. I get meaningless/over perverted intro messages day in and day out. Most I find out later are married/in relationships and cheating on their partners.

Time to really throw in the towel for good? I just don't know how to change my mindset about fab men.

Is this a fab guy thing or a talking to 'single' guys on the internet thing? "

Pretty much 98% men online in my experience

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By *herryblossom_BJ OP   Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire


"Not sure if it's covid blues but my experience of fab so far has royally put me of men/sex for life. I don't believe what anyone says to me anymore as from my experience, they say one thing and do the other. I get meaningless/over perverted intro messages day in and day out. Most I find out later are married/in relationships and cheating on their partners.

Time to really throw in the towel for good? I just don't know how to change my mindset about fab men.

Is this a fab guy thing or a talking to 'single' guys on the internet thing?

Pretty much 98% men online in my experience "

fab men seem to exacerbate the general attitude of online "single" men who actually are not single in reality

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By *herryblossom_BJ OP   Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire


"Probably worth a break until next year.

Find something better to do than be objectified by strangers. "

.

trust me i pretty much only come here to chat and that's it but I delete 95% of my messages because I know from experience it's not worth opening

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I go through phases like that so I hide my profile. Unfortunately Fab is a cesspit of fantasists, timewasters, liars, cheats and kink thrill seekers. There are some lovely people but finding them is much like panning for gold - a lot of dirt to sift through.

An already problematic environment has been made more toxic by an increase of bored people with nowt else to do except wank and get cheap thrills.

Have a break, set your filters HIGH and don't engage with those come waving obvious red flags.

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By *osweet69Couple
over a year ago

portsmouth


"Not sure if it's covid blues but my experience of fab so far has royally put me of men/sex for life. I don't believe what anyone says to me anymore as from my experience, they say one thing and do the other. I get meaningless/over perverted intro messages day in and day out. Most I find out later are married/in relationships and cheating on their partners.

Time to really throw in the towel for good? I just don't know how to change my mindset about fab men. "
Come over to the sweet side and try a bit of lady loving x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"fab men seem to exacerbate the general attitude of online "single" men who actually are not single in reality "

What is accepted as 'single guy'

Widowed, separated, divorced.

None of these are 'single' when choosing marital status.

Yet I'd argue morally they could date or whatever.

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By *lbinoGorillaMan
over a year ago

Redditch

I felt the same about the site recently, OP, although it was because there was something wrong with me internally rather than any particular experience on here.

But, my point is that I hid my profile down and didn't log in for almost 3 weeks.

Now I'm feeling a bit better again I'm enjoying the site again.

So maybe a break from it for a little while is what you need

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe adjust your expectations, that can often have a more positive outcome

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By *sagent81Man
over a year ago

Leeds

I am sorry but the idea that most men on fab are cheating is ridiculous.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Before the internet was available generally and definitely before it could be accessed on tiny hand held devices that could be used more or less anywhere, it was far more difficult for married people (cos it ain't just men) to get away from their spouse. There was the pub but your mates would see you and there was work. Now there's the entire world accessible a few finger clicks away for people to indulge themselves.

It's best in my opinion to approach any internet contact with the rise tinted glasses off and the cynical head firmly on.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

*rose

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By *andy579Woman
over a year ago

standish

The amount of messages I get from married men, or already in relationships is actually pretty shocking! Its certainly put me off having a relationship for life! Then there's the ones who draw you in after meeting, say they want much more then boom! gone! One has ghosted, yet still looks at my profile daily I'm new and already fed up

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By *Xtriple7Couple
over a year ago

N Peterborough.

I would have thought as a single lady that you'd have your pick of quality cock and the idiots are just a nuisance.

Seems as though these guys have ruined it for everyone else, I'm sure we've been mistaken for a single profile even though Mrs has access to it and is fully aware of everything.

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By *uietlykinkymeWoman
over a year ago

kinky land

Filters, filters and filters.

Use your message filters and you message profiles that you find intriguing

It cuts down on dealing with stuff in your inbox, and has a knock on in that you can engage with only who you choose ,

I've learnt over time to get a pretty accurate 'feel' for when someone is single or playing with consent, you will get it as well

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By *herryblossom_BJ OP   Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire


"The amount of messages I get from married men, or already in relationships is actually pretty shocking! Its certainly put me off having a relationship for life! Then there's the ones who draw you in after meeting, say they want much more then boom! gone! One has ghosted, yet still looks at my profile daily I'm new and already fed up"

yes that's my exact experience of fab... noone of genuine quality contacted me.. yet

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By *itty9899Man
over a year ago

Craggy Island


"The amount of messages I get from married men, or already in relationships is actually pretty shocking! Its certainly put me off having a relationship for life! Then there's the ones who draw you in after meeting, say they want much more then boom! gone! One has ghosted, yet still looks at my profile daily I'm new and already fed up

yes that's my exact experience of fab... noone of genuine quality contacted me.. yet "

(Shrugs)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have regular fab holidays from time to time, does me the world of good

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By *-and-aCouple
over a year ago

Closer than you think

We have had more “fab holidays” than meets! The site and the scene doesn’t reflect swinging as we started out knowing it to be.. its all quick shag hookups, cheats and a lot of guys who dream!

For couples and single women it can be very frustrating and for single guys we suspect it becomes so monotonous they eventual regress to “uugg fancy a fuck? What ya mean no!? Slag!” ( yep we get them messages as a cpl too)

Best advice we think is set the filters to block, hide your profile and take a break!! Then come back and YOU make first contacts based on what your looking for.. use search and reach out...

Our 2P worth of advice!!

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By *oober698Man
over a year ago

Lincoln

As a single widowed guy on here, it is horrendous trying to sell myself as a person worth engaging with due to all the bad experiences folk are having with the wam bam thank you mam attitude of some. I'm sorry you are experiencing this and its made you feel like you do. There are guys out there who want to be engaged with for the legitimate reasons in this swinging world and find a partner with a mutual interest. Take a break and come back soon. CV19 has also bought out more of the chancers in life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wish there was a like button for comments.

I felt the same as you, now i just take everything with a pinch of salt xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hate the liars and cheating guys - they make us decent guys look bad and make it so much harder for us to meet someone.

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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago

South Wales

I think I’m getting there! But just with general vibe. It’s very angsty on here at the moment, which I understand, but it puts a dampener on things.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It is remarkable how naive people seem to be in assuming that a site that people are on to discuss and meet up for sex will only attract truly single men or that its only men cheating for that matter.

The Internet and readily available access makes everything easier even if not simpler. As to the OP, hide your profile and give fab a break until your frame of mind is in a better position to handle fab shenanigans.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m starting to think people do not have a basic understanding of human nature......

If a man or woman is attractive and have their life together.....

They will always have someone in their life,

fwb/spouse/ex he/she is still friends with.....

I think people need to temper their expectations for the swinging scene....

It will save people from disappointment...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not sure if it's covid blues but my experience of fab so far has royally put me of men/sex for life. I don't believe what anyone says to me anymore as from my experience, they say one thing and do the other. I get meaningless/over perverted intro messages day in and day out. Most I find out later are married/in relationships and cheating on their partners.

Time to really throw in the towel for good? I just don't know how to change my mindset about fab men. "

I am going to be called a white knight but so be it.

When I read posts like this as a genuine single man it gets to me a little bit. It seems all the cheaters get meets and the genuine single guys don't.

I have been cheated on in the past and it hurt. I could never be a cheater.

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By *herryblossom_BJ OP   Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire


"I’m starting to think people do not have a basic understanding of human nature......

If a man or woman is attractive and have their life together.....

They will always have someone in their life,

fwb/spouse/ex he/she is still friends with.....

I think people need to temper their expectations for the swinging scene....

It will save people from disappointment..."

So you think it's acceptable to accept lies and disappointment?

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By *herryblossom_BJ OP   Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

Like accepting people let you down last minute without any excuse and ghost you is acceptable behaviour on fab/online meet? (even with people you already met once or twice)

Accepting the guy pretended to be single to meet you and you find out in a bad way that his wife/girlfriend isn't impress with his behaviour either.. we meant to accept all this on fab?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Like accepting people let you down last minute without any excuse and ghost you is acceptable behaviour on fab/online meet? (even with people you already met once or twice)

Accepting the guy pretended to be single to meet you and you find out in a bad way that his wife/girlfriend isn't impress with his behaviour either.. we meant to accept all this on fab? "

Accept that it's something that's part of using the Internet to meet people and take steps to mitigate it happening to you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’m starting to think people do not have a basic understanding of human nature......

If a man or woman is attractive and have their life together.....

They will always have someone in their life,

fwb/spouse/ex he/she is still friends with.....

I think people need to temper their expectations for the swinging scene....

It will save people from disappointment...

So you think it's acceptable to accept lies and disappointment? "

It is not acceptable and I find it to be bad karma...

But you have to look at context......

If I met you on Fab , I would expect you to be talking to other men and probably have 1 or 2 friends with benefits....

I wouldn’t expect you to be a celibate virgin.....

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By *Xtriple7Couple
over a year ago

N Peterborough.

Don't think people are expecting fresh meat, rather they'd not want to unwittingly be the means by which a cheater er, cheats.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not sure if it's covid blues but my experience of fab so far has royally put me of men/sex for life. I don't believe what anyone says to me anymore as from my experience, they say one thing and do the other. I get meaningless/over perverted intro messages day in and day out. Most I find out later are married/in relationships and cheating on their partners.

Time to really throw in the towel for good? I just don't know how to change my mindset about fab men. "

Have you thought about blocking men and then doing the choosing rather than having an inbox full of dross that could make the good ones harder to see?

It’d be a shame to see you go. One reason being I like having a perv of your pics

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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago

West Wales


"We have had more “fab holidays” than meets! The site and the scene doesn’t reflect swinging as we started out knowing it to be.. its all quick shag hookups, cheats and a lot of guys who dream!

For couples and single women it can be very frustrating and for single guys we suspect it becomes so monotonous they eventual regress to “uugg fancy a fuck? What ya mean no!? Slag!” ( yep we get them messages as a cpl too)

Best advice we think is set the filters to block, hide your profile and take a break!! Then come back and YOU make first contacts based on what your looking for.. use search and reach out...

Our 2P worth of advice!! "

We’d say similar but not hide if you still want to use forums etc. Take a break from the messaging side of things. Block everyone & look yourself for who maybe you’d like to message.

We’ve never really understood the complaining about wading through the dross to find the good message when you can just block them all & pick someone to message yourself when & if you want to.

S

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Like accepting people let you down last minute without any excuse and ghost you is acceptable behaviour on fab/online meet? (even with people you already met once or twice)

Accepting the guy pretended to be single to meet you and you find out in a bad way that his wife/girlfriend isn't impress with his behaviour either.. we meant to accept all this on fab? "
I wouldn't get to worried worried about anything really. Fab is nice to chat however once you have been to clubs and parties your opinion on swinging my change. There are some great couples and singles out there

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By *aughtyBlokeKentMan
over a year ago

Kent/Gatwick area

A friend of mine had a similar experience on here to OP, but made all the worse by a guy she'd particularly hit it off with and became regular meets. He was the nail in the coffin.

She wasnt naive but had high standards and vetted guys thoroughly (profile was one of those long "rule books" of do's & don'ts) and had trusted him. He pushed her to stop using condoms, since they'd gone exclusive. He had just played the part according to what her profile had said she wanted, took her to dinner, telling her sob story of being widowed, broken hearted as they'd always wanted kids...joined Fab just for company as still too upset to date.

He got caught out when he messaged her profile on Fab "in your area tonight, fancy a fuck?" She thought he was winding her up as he knew she hated those messages so she played along, arranged the meet at their usual hotel. Quite a shock for both when she turned up as he hadnt realised it was her profile as she'd deleted the contents when they'd agreed to stop meeting others. Turned out he was married with kids, cheating all over the country and the "fancy a fuck" approach to a random profile was his usual style.

She said it felt like r*** as she hadn't consented to have sex with that guy, she'd only wanted the guy he pretended to be. Needless to say she left Fab after that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

She wasnt naive ...

"

It sounds like she was at least a bit

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not sure if it's covid blues but my experience of fab so far has royally put me of men/sex for life. I don't believe what anyone says to me anymore as from my experience, they say one thing and do the other. I get meaningless/over perverted intro messages day in and day out. Most I find out later are married/in relationships and cheating on their partners.

Time to really throw in the towel for good? I just don't know how to change my mindset about fab men. "

Take a break. Remember this is just a website, one website - it is not the be all & end all as some on here would have you believe. Fabswingers has become the 'go-to' site for a lot of people, but it's only a very small slice of the scene in general.

The people on here can be awful - worse than any other site I've ever used for abuse (I've used them all) but all that says is that A) the site is cheap/free and B) therefore it attracts the low-life's.

What you're describing is massively common, everyone on here goes through a love/hate relationship with the site. You just need a breather.

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By *oncupiscence73Woman
over a year ago

South


"A friend of mine had a similar experience on here to OP, but made all the worse by a guy she'd particularly hit it off with and became regular meets. He was the nail in the coffin.

She wasnt naive but had high standards and vetted guys thoroughly (profile was one of those long "rule books" of do's & don'ts) and had trusted him. He pushed her to stop using condoms, since they'd gone exclusive. He had just played the part according to what her profile had said she wanted, took her to dinner, telling her sob story of being widowed, broken hearted as they'd always wanted kids...joined Fab just for company as still too upset to date.

He got caught out when he messaged her profile on Fab "in your area tonight, fancy a fuck?" She thought he was winding her up as he knew she hated those messages so she played along, arranged the meet at their usual hotel. Quite a shock for both when she turned up as he hadnt realised it was her profile as she'd deleted the contents when they'd agreed to stop meeting others. Turned out he was married with kids, cheating all over the country and the "fancy a fuck" approach to a random profile was his usual style.

She said it felt like r*** as she hadn't consented to have sex with that guy, she'd only wanted the guy he pretended to be. Needless to say she left Fab after that. "

This is endemic in life not just fab ...... the vast majority of married men on here will be doing the same they just won’t get caught as their Mrs isn’t here. This is why cheaters disgust me.

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By *oncupiscence73Woman
over a year ago

South


"

She wasnt naive ...

It sounds like she was at least a bit"

How was she naive? By trusting someone? Or by trusting someone she met on fab? If it’s the latter then you’re saying fab people are liars and to believe them is naive.?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

She wasnt naive ...

It sounds like she was at least a bit

How was she naive? By trusting someone? Or by trusting someone she met on fab? If it’s the latter then you’re saying fab people are liars and to believe them is naive.?"

Context.... Context

In theory people go on swinging sites not be exclusive... if you find your life partner on Fab you’re very lucky.... But most people should temper their expectations when meeting someone off Fab.....

I think of people I meet on here like a ride at Disney land... it’s great while you are riding but you know it will come to a end.,.,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

She wasnt naive ...

It sounds like she was at least a bit

How was she naive? By trusting someone? Or by trusting someone she met on fab? If it’s the latter then you’re saying fab people are liars and to believe them is naive.?"

I'm saying there are ways to try to ensure you're not caught out like this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not sure if it's covid blues but my experience of fab so far has royally put me of men/sex for life. I don't believe what anyone says to me anymore as from my experience, they say one thing and do the other. I get meaningless/over perverted intro messages day in and day out. Most I find out later are married/in relationships and cheating on their partners.

Time to really throw in the towel for good? I just don't know how to change my mindset about fab men.

I am going to be called a white knight but so be it.

When I read posts like this as a genuine single man it gets to me a little bit. It seems all the cheaters get meets and the genuine single guys don't.

I have been cheated on in the past and it hurt. I could never be a cheater. "

I concur. I am genuinely separated and I find all those married cheaters a pain in the neck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have just added this to our profile.

Single men. For every genuine guy there are 50 fakes. Frankly we are wasting so much time it's become a bore. We get a picture of a 40 something, fit handsome man and someone else turns up. This is our solution, if you dont want to follow this request then dont get in touch. After all if you are a genuine guy this will take you less than 1 min.

Please send us a clear face picture holding up 3 fingers. Without this we will not respond to any winks or messages.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We have just added this to our profile.

Single men. For every genuine guy there are 50 fakes. Frankly we are wasting so much time it's become a bore. We get a picture of a 40 something, fit handsome man and someone else turns up. This is our solution, if you dont want to follow this request then dont get in touch. After all if you are a genuine guy this will take you less than 1 min.

Please send us a clear face picture holding up 3 fingers. Without this we will not respond to any winks or messages."

Wouldn’t a video chat before a meeting be a little easier?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not for us, no

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By *irginieWoman
over a year ago

Near Marlborough

I have not read all the responses.

I found that fab bothered me less when I got to a place where I was very happy with where I am. It’s taken me a few years to stop looking for “something”. Now I can treat any interaction on its merits. I usually start from a position that everything is total bollocks and see where I end up. But the beauty of it is nothing Is gonna hurt my feelings or piss me off overly. I know exactly what I like and I ignore everything that doesn’t make me smile.

The current situation is a bitch for sure. And I’ve felt the sheer desperation of being alone but I’ve told myself that doesn’t change how I treat this. I haven’t become desperate, I’ve been affected by a situation that is out of my control. So I’ll go along with it (for now).

I find I need to hide every so often. It helps to step away from the crazy.

Hugs

V x

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By *etcplCouple
over a year ago

Gapping Fanny

I assume that any one we speak to is a single male fantasist/collector whether they present as a couple or single female profile.

When I try and have just a normal conversation with people it tends to end after 3 messages if it hasn't escalated to sexting.

It sucks, as I try and be genuine, open and honest with people (naive I know) and I am always wanting to be surprised by people.

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!


"Not sure if it's covid blues but my experience of fab so far has royally put me of men/sex for life. I don't believe what anyone says to me anymore as from my experience, they say one thing and do the other. I get meaningless/over perverted intro messages day in and day out. Most I find out later are married/in relationships and cheating on their partners.

Time to really throw in the towel for good? I just don't know how to change my mindset about fab men. "
Use your filters & block all men & do your own search

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I so feel your pain ,this and other sites are full of cheaters, I’m gay and met this bloke , had lots of dates then invited him over for the weekend, he turned up on Friday in he’s work clothes , worked in a car factory,he asked if he could take a shower, he’s phone was in the kitchen and started vibrating, I looked and a photo of him with a lady and two kids was showing , he came out of the shower and tried it on with me but something was bugging me so I asked him if he was single he said he was , so I said I saw he’s phone ringing and if the photo I saw was he’s wife and kids , he went mad and said I was checking up on him etc etc , turned out I was right he was married with kids , had a few like that now I don’t get involved with anyone , way to many cheats about

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By *unkerbobMan
over a year ago

belfast

Don't worry your not alone,it's the same for single blokes too,this site is shite and when my current subscription is up I'm off for good!!!new year new start

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are some questionable characters floating around in fab. It is tiresome and I now assume most profiles are fake. It is strange how you are chatting with someone and then mid convo they disappear never to be heard from again. I always assumed I’d bored them to death....

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By *hezzababeWoman
over a year ago

Ashton

Same boat here, seem to attract various single and married. Both parts have treated me the same. Great chat, arrange a bite, drink, have a blast and the sex is great. I find out later months I'm either married or I have met someone else they know. That's why I joined this site, meet once and I wont get hurt after months of knowing them. This site and newly visited clubs killed my depression. I deleted my old profile and came back a year later as I got to horny looking at my favourite guest in hotel. Needed friction action.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not sure if it's covid blues but my experience of fab so far has royally put me of men/sex for life. I don't believe what anyone says to me anymore as from my experience, they say one thing and do the other. I get meaningless/over perverted intro messages day in and day out. Most I find out later are married/in relationships and cheating on their partners.

Time to really throw in the towel for good? I just don't know how to change my mindset about fab men. Use your filters & block all men & do your own search "

It’s really hard for some users to do this ..... this fear of sending a message and being rejected is soul crushing.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not sure if it's covid blues but my experience of fab so far has royally put me of men/sex for life. I don't believe what anyone says to me anymore as from my experience, they say one thing and do the other. I get meaningless/over perverted intro messages day in and day out. Most I find out later are married/in relationships and cheating on their partners.

Time to really throw in the towel for good? I just don't know how to change my mindset about fab men. Use your filters & block all men & do your own search

It’s really hard for some users to do this ..... this fear of sending a message and being rejected is soul crushing....."

When I first joined I was sending messages like it was going out of fashion. I thought I was immune to the rejection feeling but then realised I rarely send messages anymore. It does get to you sometimes without you realising.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

If ever impacted negatively, take a break from using it - as you did.

That may mean not using it for anything or just not using it for future meets planned for when the virus crisis allows it.

There are also different ways of filtering and validating people that could be done in future, if the lies are the main reasons.

But it's much too high a cost to continue to be affected badly. So it would be better to not message anyone at all, other than true friends or to take a break.

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By *aughty_builder87Man
over a year ago

Keston

A few months back I got frustrated with fab. Sometimes you just need a break. Walk away take some you time then come back when you are ready to.

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By *ookie46Woman
over a year ago

Deepest darkest Peru

Sometimes when I need a break I just hide my profile, usually does the trick

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By *all-Eddies QosCouple
over a year ago

wirral

I've just hidden mine.

There was one man who has messaged me every week for 14 weeks, I've never replied ... Get the hint.

Block list is massive.

People from Dundee messaging me....

People who clearly not what I'm after.

Is it really that hard to spend 30 seconds reading a profile

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've just hidden mine.

There was one man who has messaged me every week for 14 weeks, I've never replied ... Get the hint.

Block list is massive.

People from Dundee messaging me....

People who clearly not what I'm after.

Is it really that hard to spend 30 seconds reading a profile"

I'm curious to know why you didn't block him sooner? Why put up with a message every week for 14 weeks!? My rule is if they can't take no for an answer and they message a second time then they get blocked

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

She wasnt naive ...

It sounds like she was at least a bit

How was she naive? By trusting someone? Or by trusting someone she met on fab? If it’s the latter then you’re saying fab people are liars and to believe them is naive.?

I'm saying there are ways to try to ensure you're not caught out like this "

I think modern life gives the cheaters plenty of help in hiding their actions, we are now used to guys being in certain circumstances that wouldn't have been the norm before. Guys living with parents cos they can't afford astronomical rent/buy prices, guys that have their kids all weekend or have to have a second job so always "working" etc. Makes it hard to know what's true when a guy "explains" their circumstances as it's all plausible nowadays.

I was meeting a guy for 6 months with those "red flags". Always working, hardly ever available weekends, could never go to his place... but he always had plausible reasons. Took me 6 months to find he actually had a live-in partner. I promised I would never ignore the signs again as I never wanted to feel that stupid again. Now I've just upset a really decent guy as he was setting off alarms and I had heard all the "excuses" before. But turns out he was being honest about his situation and I just didn't believe him. So on this instance, he's the one that's been shit on (not literally!!). Modern life is a minefield... I think it can garden us with all the bullshit but then that tougher shell keeps out the good guys as well as the bad

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By *herryblossom_BJ OP   Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire


"

She wasnt naive ...

It sounds like she was at least a bit

How was she naive? By trusting someone? Or by trusting someone she met on fab? If it’s the latter then you’re saying fab people are liars and to believe them is naive.?

I'm saying there are ways to try to ensure you're not caught out like this

I think modern life gives the cheaters plenty of help in hiding their actions, we are now used to guys being in certain circumstances that wouldn't have been the norm before. Guys living with parents cos they can't afford astronomical rent/buy prices, guys that have their kids all weekend or have to have a second job so always "working" etc. Makes it hard to know what's true when a guy "explains" their circumstances as it's all plausible nowadays.

I was meeting a guy for 6 months with those "red flags". Always working, hardly ever available weekends, could never go to his place... but he always had plausible reasons. Took me 6 months to find he actually had a live-in partner. I promised I would never ignore the signs again as I never wanted to feel that stupid again. Now I've just upset a really decent guy as he was setting off alarms and I had heard all the "excuses" before. But turns out he was being honest about his situation and I just didn't believe him. So on this instance, he's the one that's been shit on (not literally!!). Modern life is a minefield... I think it can garden us with all the bullshit but then that tougher shell keeps out the good guys as well as the bad"

I know what you mean. I was never naive. I found out quickly about these cheaters and never met them. Just abit peeved about people saying one thing and doing the other, making empty promises. I don't have emotional time to be messed about so I choose to not meet anyone from fab anymore this year, even if we didn't have covid crisis. I just haven't met anyone I felt confident in meeting and I probably never will at the rate things are going.

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By *herryblossom_BJ OP   Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire


"

She wasnt naive ...

It sounds like she was at least a bit

How was she naive? By trusting someone? Or by trusting someone she met on fab? If it’s the latter then you’re saying fab people are liars and to believe them is naive.?

I'm saying there are ways to try to ensure you're not caught out like this

I think modern life gives the cheaters plenty of help in hiding their actions, we are now used to guys being in certain circumstances that wouldn't have been the norm before. Guys living with parents cos they can't afford astronomical rent/buy prices, guys that have their kids all weekend or have to have a second job so always "working" etc. Makes it hard to know what's true when a guy "explains" their circumstances as it's all plausible nowadays.

I was meeting a guy for 6 months with those "red flags". Always working, hardly ever available weekends, could never go to his place... but he always had plausible reasons. Took me 6 months to find he actually had a live-in partner. I promised I would never ignore the signs again as I never wanted to feel that stupid again. Now I've just upset a really decent guy as he was setting off alarms and I had heard all the "excuses" before. But turns out he was being honest about his situation and I just didn't believe him. So on this instance, he's the one that's been shit on (not literally!!). Modern life is a minefield... I think it can garden us with all the bullshit but then that tougher shell keeps out the good guys as well as the bad"

Btw if it's any consolation, my friend's work colleague was seriously dating a married man for 2 years without her knowledge. She was devastated about all the lies he told her and he never left his wife for her neither.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’m starting to think people do not have a basic understanding of human nature......

If a man or woman is attractive and have their life together.....

They will always have someone in their life,

fwb/spouse/ex he/she is still friends with.....

"

So somebody has nobody in their life they do not have their life together.

Saved me a fortune in therapy, cheers.

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

If it feels more draining than enriching then take a break. A week or two away, have a good break, see how you feel.

I'd echo the comments about messaging too - I don't have my filters set particularly tightly but I do my own searches and message if I see someone I like the looks of. I tend to message for a while before meeting, and I avoid sex talk and sending explicit photos - that tends to out some of the fantasists and wankers.

I spent my first couple of months here getting stood up and ghosted and messed around, and it has made me fairly cynical about anyone who messages me. 90%+ of messages are deleted, and at least half of those I respond to fizzle out after a couple of messages when I'm still not flashing my gash or talking them off.

For me the fun of the good conversations I have currently outweighs the irritation of the other crap, but when the balance shifts I just log off for a while.

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By *ike hMan
over a year ago

near city centre

Same here, good manners are free

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By *adame 2SwordsWoman
over a year ago

Victoria, London

lol i feel the same but its not only fab guys, its all guys, wish i were attracted to ladies. not wasting my time on men any more but putting the effort into building solid female friends circle. at least you can have a proper belly wobble laugh with a lady

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

oh dear oh dear. welcome to the world of genuine single guys on here !

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By *entadreadMan
over a year ago

Essex


"Not sure if it's covid blues but my experience of fab so far has royally put me of men/sex for life. I don't believe what anyone says to me anymore as from my experience, they say one thing and do the other. I get meaningless/over perverted intro messages day in and day out. Most I find out later are married/in relationships and cheating on their partners.

Time to really throw in the towel for good? I just don't know how to change my mindset about fab men. "

When the fun stops, take a break. I think the covid period is giving you time to reflect on what you really want.Use this period off, to recollect, and come back when ready.

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By *ike hMan
over a year ago

near city centre


"Not sure if it's covid blues but my experience of fab so far has royally put me of men/sex for life. I don't believe what anyone says to me anymore as from my experience, they say one thing and do the other. I get meaningless/over perverted intro messages day in and day out. Most I find out later are married/in relationships and cheating on their partners.

Time to really throw in the towel for good? I just don't know how to change my mindset about fab men.

Sorry for your experience but i can assure not all us men are like that, I'm sure like many others on here I am polite & courteous and am never pushy - if my message is deleted or I get a "no thanks" I politely wish them well and move on so please don't think we are all wronguns. "

Same here, good manners are free xxx

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull


"Not sure if it's covid blues but my experience of fab so far has royally put me of men/sex for life. I don't believe what anyone says to me anymore as from my experience, they say one thing and do the other. I get meaningless/over perverted intro messages day in and day out. Most I find out later are married/in relationships and cheating on their partners.

Time to really throw in the towel for good? I just don't know how to change my mindset about fab men. "

Block all men and do your own searching, scrutinise there verifications and try to do some due diligence,

Trust your gut feeling it's there for a reason

I'm genuine and I'm sure there must be others who just need a chance

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am sorry but the idea that most men on fab are cheating is ridiculous. "

Women cheat just as much as men, that is a well known fact. I have seen loads of women who are married and go behind their partners backs. Definitely stay clear of them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’m starting to think people do not have a basic understanding of human nature......

If a man or woman is attractive and have their life together.....

They will always have someone in their life,

fwb/spouse/ex he/she is still friends with.....

So somebody has nobody in their life they do not have their life together.

Saved me a fortune in therapy, cheers. "

Please don’t be offended.... I’m sorry if I touched a nerve.....

Some people online live their lives like they are in a movie......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I am sorry but the idea that most men on fab are cheating is ridiculous.

Women cheat just as much as men, that is a well known fact. I have seen loads of women who are married and go behind their partners backs. Definitely stay clear of them.

"

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek


"Not sure if it's covid blues but my experience of fab so far has royally put me of men/sex for life. I don't believe what anyone says to me anymore as from my experience, they say one thing and do the other. I get meaningless/over perverted intro messages day in and day out. Most I find out later are married/in relationships and cheating on their partners.

Time to really throw in the towel for good? I just don't know how to change my mindset about fab men. "

I'm right here right now.

Soooooo close to hitting the delete button.

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By *host63Man
over a year ago

Bedfont Feltham


"Not sure if it's covid blues but my experience of fab so far has royally put me of men/sex for life. I don't believe what anyone says to me anymore as from my experience, they say one thing and do the other. I get meaningless/over perverted intro messages day in and day out. Most I find out later are married/in relationships and cheating on their partners.

Time to really throw in the towel for good? I just don't know how to change my mindset about fab men. "

I know what you mean. I am getting fed up with fab and the women on here there is only ao much rejection a d nasty messages you can handle

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Not sure if it's covid blues but my experience of fab so far has royally put me of men/sex for life. I don't believe what anyone says to me anymore as from my experience, they say one thing and do the other. I get meaningless/over perverted intro messages day in and day out. Most I find out later are married/in relationships and cheating on their partners.

Time to really throw in the towel for good? I just don't know how to change my mindset about fab men.

Is this a fab guy thing or a talking to 'single' guys on the internet thing? "

I think some of it is a people thing rather than a guy issue to be honest.

I think men get singled out over this stuff too often. And yes we can be our own worst enemies, but..

Whilst, I concede that the over-perverted messages are more likely to come from men than women (I've never sent any, by the way), the rest of it is equally applicable, across sexes in my opinion and experience. But what do we expect, it's the internet and it's free.

I doubt this opinion will be popular, but I'm entitled to it.

Genuinely, good luck OP, it's possible fab wasn't / isn't for you at the moment.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think a lot are afraid of Covid. There are also a lot more folks at home bored and need a little sideshow to relieve the boredom. A lot of profiles saying no meets for the foreseeable future-chat only.

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek


"I think a lot are afraid of Covid. There are also a lot more folks at home bored and need a little sideshow to relieve the boredom. A lot of profiles saying no meets for the foreseeable future-chat only. "

But why should covid be a reason for disrespect, cheats thinking it's acceptable and those who blatantly flout the rules?

Covid isn't an excuse to cheat or lie.

We should be afraid of it, and every profile/person should be following the rules.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think a lot are afraid of Covid. There are also a lot more folks at home bored and need a little sideshow to relieve the boredom. A lot of profiles saying no meets for the foreseeable future-chat only.

But why should covid be a reason for disrespect, cheats thinking it's acceptable and those who blatantly flout the rules?

Covid isn't an excuse to cheat or lie.

We should be afraid of it, and every profile/person should be following the rules. "

Is you moving in with your friends strictly within the rules?

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By *weet Delight2016Woman
over a year ago

Somewhere nice

I feel exactly the same OP

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek


"I think a lot are afraid of Covid. There are also a lot more folks at home bored and need a little sideshow to relieve the boredom. A lot of profiles saying no meets for the foreseeable future-chat only.

But why should covid be a reason for disrespect, cheats thinking it's acceptable and those who blatantly flout the rules?

Covid isn't an excuse to cheat or lie.

We should be afraid of it, and every profile/person should be following the rules.

Is you moving in with your friends strictly within the rules?"

They are my bubble.

Not a bubble one day, and then a different bubble the next.

So yes, very much within the rules.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think a lot are afraid of Covid. There are also a lot more folks at home bored and need a little sideshow to relieve the boredom. A lot of profiles saying no meets for the foreseeable future-chat only.

But why should covid be a reason for disrespect, cheats thinking it's acceptable and those who blatantly flout the rules?

Covid isn't an excuse to cheat or lie.

We should be afraid of it, and every profile/person should be following the rules.

Is you moving in with your friends strictly within the rules?

They are my bubble.

Not a bubble one day, and then a different bubble the next.

So yes, very much within the rules.

"

So just 2 households?

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek


"I think a lot are afraid of Covid. There are also a lot more folks at home bored and need a little sideshow to relieve the boredom. A lot of profiles saying no meets for the foreseeable future-chat only.

But why should covid be a reason for disrespect, cheats thinking it's acceptable and those who blatantly flout the rules?

Covid isn't an excuse to cheat or lie.

We should be afraid of it, and every profile/person should be following the rules.

Is you moving in with your friends strictly within the rules?

They are my bubble.

Not a bubble one day, and then a different bubble the next.

So yes, very much within the rules.

So just 2 households?"

Yes. Same as last lockdown. Same people, same house.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s a sad side of fab that has an affect not only the ladies but also the gentleman out there who get tarnished with the same brush.

Fab friends have numerous stories of time wasters, fantasists, pic collectors, rude, trolling, lying men, some with fake profiles, which drags the site down for all legitimate users.

You normally get a feel for such profiles with warning flags. A fuller profile, normal selfies, respectful language used when chatting, honest & simple verifications can all help give you confidence when connecting with a second party on fab.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We try to be fair and polite to the guys who have obviously bothered to read our profile and made an effort to write something engaging, even if they don’t fulfil the criteria we’re obviously looking for. One word messages, one liners, winks and unsolicited friend requests are deleted and often the guy blocked too. We have limited time and don’t suffer fools.

Very few ‘single’ guys in their 40’s or try it on 50’s seem to be able to accommodate which is a hint of their real status.

Some guys get through the radar, strike up conversation and then disappear in puff of cheap perfume when they realise we’re genuine, usually blocking us. Maybe they’ve run scared, intimidated by a smart wife who likes fucking other men or maybe she made them cream their y fronts and they’re now content in their quest for a rather peculiar gratification.

It’s not exclusively a single guy to couple problem, A good friend of ours on here who is a genuine single guy doesn’t reply to anyone writing who isn’t a full member and isn’t validated, the return is unlikely to warrant the effort. Even if they are validated, reading their validations and the profiles of those that validated them says a lot about the writer and how discerning they are.

We take the rough with the smooth and have made some fun friends along the way, even this year. As well as wearing out the block key...

Plenty of fishes still in the sea but plenty of faeces too.

As ever, you get what you pay for. Fab is cheap and we try to make it cheerful too. Sadly there’s not an effective alternative in the UK.

Mr T

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By *rincess PhoenixWoman
over a year ago

Southampton


"

For couples and single women it can be very frustrating and for single guys we suspect it becomes so monotonous they eventual regress to “uugg fancy a fuck? What ya mean no!? Slag!” ( yep we get them messages as a cpl "

Really? Couples get those messages too that actually makes me feel a but better

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You need patience and a thick skin.

People will be rude to you, ignore you, delete you, block you, hassle you and generally be awful when it comes to the pursuit of sex. It's also not restricted to men either.

Take the rough with the smooth, and remember, the abusers are upset at themselves, not you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What have they been saying to you that you don't believe?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know how the OP feels. I feel like I’m suffering with it at the moment. I know meets are something we should not be doing but we can still make new friends and chat to arrange future meets. I feel like a lot of member have given up chatting until we are allowed to meet again

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By *nasuitMan
over a year ago

Ruislip

Read your profile OP, I'm not one for you. But loving your cycling content

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By *host63Man
over a year ago

Bedfont Feltham

You should try a lot of the wonw on here. Most of the replies I get either wa t mo ey or try to get me.on a premium website to confirm. My ID.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So much whinging

If you dont like it, or its not working for you, then leave.

Otherwise stay.

Its not that hard

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