FabSwingers.com forum: Unread msgs

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hi Fabbers,

So firstly I totally get that

A) women get Alot of messages and there is a alot that are trash talk (fab admin perhaps allow filters to be set in some way)

B) due to this it makes sense to not reply to people you are not Intersted in.

So here is my question. If you send a msg and this remains unread do I assume

A) it's got lost in the mountains of mails and maybe follow up in a week

B) someone can make a judgement without reading the mail or profile so assume its a no

C) they have set it back to unread with the intention of replying.. Maybe follow up in a week or 2.

D) something else entirely

To me, if it's read then it's clear (although I wish people would take the time to glance at a profile more) but unread is not.

Tell me fabbers

Ps excuse typos. Big fingers small phone

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By *addyBabygirl2020Couple
over a year ago

norwich

B. Except they probably have viewed your profile but in stealth mode. If the profile holds no interest the messsge wont be read.

Also if you messsge is short or starts badly most of it can be seen without opening it.

Just forget about it and move on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Everyone is different, unless you get a message back saying not interested or it says on their profile if we ignore you we are not interested, then it won’t hurt to wink or resend a message. There are times we have missed a good message and started a chat after a second message but it depends how much effort you want to make when there’s no guarantees

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By *nked_kittenWoman
over a year ago

Ankh Morpork

My answer is all of the above. Do what you want to do and they will read and reply as they want to.

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By *ersnickety PantsWoman
over a year ago

Club Meets Only

95% of my messages are unread for a variety of reasons, mainly because most are just looking for a quick leg over.

Sometimes I don't even look at the inbox for a day or 2 so someone who I may reply to could be easily missed.

Recently a dude spammed me with 11 messages in 7 days, with the most of those being 8 in 1 day

Subsequently I ended up blocking him.

I'd say if your second message goes unread the answer is obvious

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

There's a stealth mode?!?

Surely if they are in this mode their profile is also not viewable.?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So far what I am hearing is to send a second and if that is left unread then move on... Which sounds sensible

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By *renzMan
over a year ago

Between Chichester and Havant

If it's unread, delete and forget it. There is a good chance they've looked at your profile in stealth, doesn't match what they are looking for and a message isn't going to change their mind. People can look at your profile without it showing on the 'who's looked' but unless they block you, you are still able to view their profile.

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By *oublethefunMan
over a year ago

royston

This topic is always a hot one. What people don't take into account is that if a couple are looking for a single guy to meet most of the time they will brouse profiles and have a short list of possible contender and maybe mail them first to see if they are interested. As there are so many single guys on the site wimen and couples can be choosy to who they may wish to make contact with. We all have lives to lead and don't have the time to be on the site 24/7 so messages can go unread for days. It also happens that wimen and couples get lots of mail just because they are seen to be online but maybe they are chatting to someone at the time and arranging to possibly meet in witch case they will ignore any messages while holding a conversation with others. It's not until you have had both a single profile and a couples one that you can understand just how crazy it can be receiving hundreds of messages a day from people from miles around and that it is totally impossible to answer them all let alone reply with a thanks but no thanks. For ever message replied to you will get at the very least three back from that person so the amount of unread messages just increases. We understand how it must come across as being ignorant but this is supossed to be fun and to spend every minute of the day answering everyone is not what people wish for.

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By *ed VoluptaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral.

"So far what I am hearing is to send a second and if that is left unread then move on... Which sounds sensible

No, no, no! Never this!

As has been said, most of us check out the profile in ninja mode - I always do. If we want to reply, we will.

Sorry, but keep messaging when I've not replied, will lead to blocking.

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By *uliette500Woman
over a year ago

Hull

"There's a stealth mode?!?

Surely if they are in this mode their profile is also not viewable.?"

You can have it set so that you don't show up on the "who looked at me" list. It doesn't change how others see your profile though.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Cheers everyone. All very helpful.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I sometimes don’t read messages when I can tell I wouldn’t be interested straight of them bat.

Location could be to far

No pic attached as requested

There little picture isn’t for me

I just tend to leave it and when I have time il delete loads in one go.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi Fabbers,

So firstly I totally get that

A) women get Alot of messages and there is a alot that are trash talk (fab admin perhaps allow filters to be set in some way)

B) due to this it makes sense to not reply to people you are not Intersted in.

So here is my question. If you send a msg and this remains unread do I assume

A) it's got lost in the mountains of mails and maybe follow up in a week

B) someone can make a judgement without reading the mail or profile so assume its a no

C) they have set it back to unread with the intention of replying.. Maybe follow up in a week or 2.

D) something else entirely

To me, if it's read then it's clear (although I wish people would take the time to glance at a profile more) but unread is not.

Tell me fabbers

Ps excuse typos. Big fingers small phone"

This is a good topic because its like Damned if you do damned if you don't at times on here lol. Personally I just think if some has looked at your profile when "who looked at me" setting is off and your not for them I think just delete the message.

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By *nigmatic_AngelWoman
over a year ago

The place where fairies live

"If it's unread, delete and forget it. There is a good chance they've looked at your profile in stealth, doesn't match what they are looking for and a message isn't going to change their mind. People can look at your profile without it showing on the 'who's looked' but unless they block you, you are still able to view their profile. "

Mines always in stealth mode. J

Otherwise whoever I look at assumes. I'm interested and messages me lol

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By *eneral HysteriaMan
over a year ago

Newcastle

"...

Just forget about it and move on"

This.

Anything else said is padding.

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

The *only* thing to assume OP is that they'll read and/or reply to your message if they choose to do so - anything else pointless.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn’t worry, getting a reply back from a sent message is almost as impossible as getting more than five numbers on the national lottery.

This site is frustrating for anyone who is single.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi Fabbers,

So firstly I totally get that

A) women get Alot of messages and there is a alot that are trash talk (fab admin perhaps allow filters to be set in some way)

B) due to this it makes sense to not reply to people you are not Intersted in.

So here is my question. If you send a msg and this remains unread do I assume

A) it's got lost in the mountains of mails and maybe follow up in a week

B) someone can make a judgement without reading the mail or profile so assume its a no

C) they have set it back to unread with the intention of replying.. Maybe follow up in a week or 2.

D) something else entirely

To me, if it's read then it's clear (although I wish people would take the time to glance at a profile more) but unread is not.

Tell me fabbers

Ps excuse typos. Big fingers small phone"

No reply = no thanks.

There is no ambiguity of maybe I will reply to you in a week or so.

No reply = not thanks.

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