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Men inviting themselves over to my house.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Is this a contentious issue? How do the rest of you feel when a guy tries to invite himself over the first time? Should I be wary? or think he’s just an opportunistic person and trying his luck and to laugh it off?

Or should I avoid men who do this like the plague? I know there are women who will invite men over even tho it’s the first time they’re meeting, this is risky don’t you think?.

I feel hotels and apartments are better once you’ve met broken the ice for any subsequent meets or a swingers club even.

Wonder what you peeps think especially you gals

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is not a one size fits all method to meeting someone.....

If you have done enough online due diligence on a person they can still turn out to be crazy in person......

I personally like to go to someone’s place rather than hosting.... it’s nothing nefarious on my part ... it’s just that I don’t know how to kick people out after sex.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ask to meet them first for a social on neutral ground (eg, coffee shop). It won't make any future get together entirely risk free, but it should help you filter out the iffy ones. Good luck!

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West

Personally, if I was single, I'd be wary about inviting anyone (single male, couple or lady) to my home if I lived alone and to be honest, same for a hotel or AirBnB. I'd say always tell a friend or family member if you intend to entertain someone alone, tell them where you are and check in with them before and after the meet. Maybe I'm over cautious, but having found out today that one of my son's flatmates was spiked with rohypn0l in a university bar, while she was with her friends (flatmates), then frankly anything is possible. The bar tender of the university bar is the suspect. It's frightening.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"There is not a one size fits all method to meeting someone.....

If you have done enough online due diligence on a person they can still turn out to be crazy in person......

I personally like to go to someone’s place rather than hosting.... it’s nothing nefarious on my part ... it’s just that I don’t know how to kick people out after sex.

"

Yes but I never said I am up for sex first meet we are meant to be going for coffee. He came up with the assumption he could bring coffee over to my place hmm, this dude like many others is trying to get his leg up at the convenience and comfort of my sanctuary my home. Plus let’s not forget he’s saving some cash not having to pay out for a hotel etc at the same time if I allowed him to come. It’s my private space to live and invite friends family not practical strangers off the internet. no offence intended.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Ask to meet them first for a social on neutral ground (eg, coffee shop). It won't make any future get together entirely risk free, but it should help you filter out the iffy ones. Good luck!"

Thank you xx that’s what I said to him

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Personally, if I was single, I'd be wary about inviting anyone (single male, couple or lady) to my home if I lived alone and to be honest, same for a hotel or AirBnB. I'd say always tell a friend or family member if you intend to entertain someone alone, tell them where you are and check in with them before and after the meet. Maybe I'm over cautious, but having found out today that one of my son's flatmates was spiked with rohypn0l in a university bar, while she was with her friends (flatmates), then frankly anything is possible. The bar tender of the university bar is the suspect. It's frightening."

Omg I’m so sorry that’s terrifying woa

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There is not a one size fits all method to meeting someone.....

If you have done enough online due diligence on a person they can still turn out to be crazy in person......

I personally like to go to someone’s place rather than hosting.... it’s nothing nefarious on my part ... it’s just that I don’t know how to kick people out after sex.

Yes but I never said I am up for sex first meet we are meant to be going for coffee. He came up with the assumption he could bring coffee over to my place hmm, this dude like many others is trying to get his leg up at the convenience and comfort of my sanctuary my home. Plus let’s not forget he’s saving some cash not having to pay out for a hotel etc at the same time if I allowed him to come. It’s my private space to live and invite friends family not practical strangers off the internet. no offence intended."

No offense taken..... so he was basically trying to skip the social.... I got you....

So he is definitely not someone you can trust.....

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By *inky_couple2020Couple
over a year ago

North West


"Personally, if I was single, I'd be wary about inviting anyone (single male, couple or lady) to my home if I lived alone and to be honest, same for a hotel or AirBnB. I'd say always tell a friend or family member if you intend to entertain someone alone, tell them where you are and check in with them before and after the meet. Maybe I'm over cautious, but having found out today that one of my son's flatmates was spiked with rohypn0l in a university bar, while she was with her friends (flatmates), then frankly anything is possible. The bar tender of the university bar is the suspect. It's frightening.

Omg I’m so sorry that’s terrifying woa "

The good news is she was with her flatmates, including my son, who realised and called the police immediately. It's being dealt with, she's safe, but just shows how easy it is to end up unsafe.

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By *ersnickety PantsWoman
over a year ago

Club Meets Only

I remind them I don't accom if they then persist (sneak me in/make an exception) it's a block. If they won't take your first answer they aren't going to care if you decide you don't want to have sex with them. It's about them & their wants

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I remind them I don't accom if they then persist (sneak me in/make an exception) it's a block. If they won't take your first answer they aren't going to care if you decide you don't want to have sex with them. It's about them & their wants "

He’s apologising for assuming and apparently he’s new to Fab and poor guy doesn’t know how it works boo hoo he knows how things work ffs

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Personally, if I was single, I'd be wary about inviting anyone (single male, couple or lady) to my home if I lived alone and to be honest, same for a hotel or AirBnB. I'd say always tell a friend or family member if you intend to entertain someone alone, tell them where you are and check in with them before and after the meet. Maybe I'm over cautious, but having found out today that one of my son's flatmates was spiked with rohypn0l in a university bar, while she was with her friends (flatmates), then frankly anything is possible. The bar tender of the university bar is the suspect. It's frightening.

Omg I’m so sorry that’s terrifying woa

The good news is she was with her flatmates, including my son, who realised and called the police immediately. It's being dealt with, she's safe, but just shows how easy it is to end up unsafe."

So glad she wasn’t alone poor thing x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"There is not a one size fits all method to meeting someone.....

If you have done enough online due diligence on a person they can still turn out to be crazy in person......

I personally like to go to someone’s place rather than hosting.... it’s nothing nefarious on my part ... it’s just that I don’t know how to kick people out after sex.

Yes but I never said I am up for sex first meet we are meant to be going for coffee. He came up with the assumption he could bring coffee over to my place hmm, this dude like many others is trying to get his leg up at the convenience and comfort of my sanctuary my home. Plus let’s not forget he’s saving some cash not having to pay out for a hotel etc at the same time if I allowed him to come. It’s my private space to live and invite friends family not practical strangers off the internet. no offence intended.

No offense taken..... so he was basically trying to skip the social.... I got you....

So he is definitely not someone you can trust..... "

He’s pretending to be ignorant now apparently he doesn’t know how fab works he’s apologised and still wants to go for coffee but I’m put off now

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By *ersnickety PantsWoman
over a year ago

Club Meets Only


"I remind them I don't accom if they then persist (sneak me in/make an exception) it's a block. If they won't take your first answer they aren't going to care if you decide you don't want to have sex with them. It's about them & their wants

He’s apologising for assuming and apparently he’s new to Fab and poor guy doesn’t know how it works boo hoo he knows how things work ffs"

Bull. New to fab or not that's not any excuse to assume you are ok to invite yourself to someone's home

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By *ersnickety PantsWoman
over a year ago

Club Meets Only


"There is not a one size fits all method to meeting someone.....

If you have done enough online due diligence on a person they can still turn out to be crazy in person......

I personally like to go to someone’s place rather than hosting.... it’s nothing nefarious on my part ... it’s just that I don’t know how to kick people out after sex.

Yes but I never said I am up for sex first meet we are meant to be going for coffee. He came up with the assumption he could bring coffee over to my place hmm, this dude like many others is trying to get his leg up at the convenience and comfort of my sanctuary my home. Plus let’s not forget he’s saving some cash not having to pay out for a hotel etc at the same time if I allowed him to come. It’s my private space to live and invite friends family not practical strangers off the internet. no offence intended.

No offense taken..... so he was basically trying to skip the social.... I got you....

So he is definitely not someone you can trust.....

He’s pretending to be ignorant now apparently he doesn’t know how fab works he’s apologised and still wants to go for coffee but I’m put off now "

He sounds like an absolute bellend tbh I'd have blocked him. Would he pretend to be deaf if you said "no I don't want sex?"

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit

It would be a no thanks from me

Social first for safety

When I was single I used to accom, but only when I got to know someone well

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By *issmorganWoman
over a year ago

Calderdale innit


"There is not a one size fits all method to meeting someone.....

If you have done enough online due diligence on a person they can still turn out to be crazy in person......

I personally like to go to someone’s place rather than hosting.... it’s nothing nefarious on my part ... it’s just that I don’t know how to kick people out after sex.

Yes but I never said I am up for sex first meet we are meant to be going for coffee. He came up with the assumption he could bring coffee over to my place hmm, this dude like many others is trying to get his leg up at the convenience and comfort of my sanctuary my home. Plus let’s not forget he’s saving some cash not having to pay out for a hotel etc at the same time if I allowed him to come. It’s my private space to live and invite friends family not practical strangers off the internet. no offence intended.

No offense taken..... so he was basically trying to skip the social.... I got you....

So he is definitely not someone you can trust.....

He’s pretending to be ignorant now apparently he doesn’t know how fab works he’s apologised and still wants to go for coffee but I’m put off now "

Go with your gut feeling op

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By *ykmwyldTV/TS
over a year ago

Belpre

Be careful and be safe, it's not worth the risk. Don't let anyone into your space until you are completely comfortable doing so,

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By *orth_hantscplCouple
over a year ago

camberley

You’re obviously suspicious enough of him to start a thread on here, I’d stick with that OP and leave it if I was you. There’s plenty of good guys on here. Good luck

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"You’re obviously suspicious enough of him to start a thread on here, I’d stick with that OP and leave it if I was you. There’s plenty of good guys on here. Good luck"

Thanks tbh any man who tries to invite himself over is shooting himself in the foot. I don’t like that crap.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Be careful and be safe, it's not worth the risk. Don't let anyone into your space until you are completely comfortable doing so, "

Thank you xxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"There is not a one size fits all method to meeting someone.....

If you have done enough online due diligence on a person they can still turn out to be crazy in person......

I personally like to go to someone’s place rather than hosting.... it’s nothing nefarious on my part ... it’s just that I don’t know how to kick people out after sex.

Yes but I never said I am up for sex first meet we are meant to be going for coffee. He came up with the assumption he could bring coffee over to my place hmm, this dude like many others is trying to get his leg up at the convenience and comfort of my sanctuary my home. Plus let’s not forget he’s saving some cash not having to pay out for a hotel etc at the same time if I allowed him to come. It’s my private space to live and invite friends family not practical strangers off the internet. no offence intended.

No offense taken..... so he was basically trying to skip the social.... I got you....

So he is definitely not someone you can trust.....

He’s pretending to be ignorant now apparently he doesn’t know how fab works he’s apologised and still wants to go for coffee but I’m put off now

Go with your gut feeling op"

I am he has been deleted

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"There is not a one size fits all method to meeting someone.....

If you have done enough online due diligence on a person they can still turn out to be crazy in person......

I personally like to go to someone’s place rather than hosting.... it’s nothing nefarious on my part ... it’s just that I don’t know how to kick people out after sex.

Yes but I never said I am up for sex first meet we are meant to be going for coffee. He came up with the assumption he could bring coffee over to my place hmm, this dude like many others is trying to get his leg up at the convenience and comfort of my sanctuary my home. Plus let’s not forget he’s saving some cash not having to pay out for a hotel etc at the same time if I allowed him to come. It’s my private space to live and invite friends family not practical strangers off the internet. no offence intended.

No offense taken..... so he was basically trying to skip the social.... I got you....

So he is definitely not someone you can trust.....

He’s pretending to be ignorant now apparently he doesn’t know how fab works he’s apologised and still wants to go for coffee but I’m put off now

He sounds like an absolute bellend tbh I'd have blocked him. Would he pretend to be deaf if you said "no I don't want sex?" "

Haha probably the douchbag he’s offering to kiss my toes erm no pass lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I remind them I don't accom if they then persist (sneak me in/make an exception) it's a block. If they won't take your first answer they aren't going to care if you decide you don't want to have sex with them. It's about them & their wants

He’s apologising for assuming and apparently he’s new to Fab and poor guy doesn’t know how it works boo hoo he knows how things work ffs

Bull. New to fab or not that's not any excuse to assume you are ok to invite yourself to someone's home"

Exactly sweetie what a twat

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your profile says cannot accommodate so its cheeky him inviting himself over tbh.

I dont accom until i know the person well. I’m happy to hotel when it gets to that stage. Dodgy things can happen no matter where you are but still home is your safe space.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There is not a one size fits all method to meeting someone.....

If you have done enough online due diligence on a person they can still turn out to be crazy in person......

I personally like to go to someone’s place rather than hosting.... it’s nothing nefarious on my part ... it’s just that I don’t know how to kick people out after sex.

Yes but I never said I am up for sex first meet we are meant to be going for coffee. He came up with the assumption he could bring coffee over to my place hmm, this dude like many others is trying to get his leg up at the convenience and comfort of my sanctuary my home. Plus let’s not forget he’s saving some cash not having to pay out for a hotel etc at the same time if I allowed him to come. It’s my private space to live and invite friends family not practical strangers off the internet. no offence intended."

Not a chance in hell I'd even tell anyone off here the town I live in.

You told him you just want coffee and he's invited himself to your house to try and get a shag. He will ignore your wishes to get his own way.

Glad you won't be meeting him. X

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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago

West Wales


"There is not a one size fits all method to meeting someone.....

If you have done enough online due diligence on a person they can still turn out to be crazy in person......

I personally like to go to someone’s place rather than hosting.... it’s nothing nefarious on my part ... it’s just that I don’t know how to kick people out after sex.

Yes but I never said I am up for sex first meet we are meant to be going for coffee. He came up with the assumption he could bring coffee over to my place hmm, this dude like many others is trying to get his leg up at the convenience and comfort of my sanctuary my home. Plus let’s not forget he’s saving some cash not having to pay out for a hotel etc at the same time if I allowed him to come. It’s my private space to live and invite friends family not practical strangers off the internet. no offence intended."

Putting it bluntly, tell him to fuck off, meet in town where it's busy or not at all.

S

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By *h haiWoman
over a year ago

Uckfield

I don't like it.. Shows a total lack of awareness on their part. For me never, ever, ever at mine first time.

And if he gets annoyed at that. He has displayed he doesn't understand fundamentals. No play for men like that

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

It's a no from me.

Coffee social on neutral ground first, then possibly a daytime day use hotel.

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

Definitely avoid!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Definitely avoid!"

Avoided

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"It's a no from me.

Coffee social on neutral ground first, then possibly a daytime day use hotel.

"

Totally agree x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I don't like it.. Shows a total lack of awareness on their part. For me never, ever, ever at mine first time.

And if he gets annoyed at that. He has displayed he doesn't understand fundamentals. No play for men like that "

His number has been blocked trust me x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"There is not a one size fits all method to meeting someone.....

If you have done enough online due diligence on a person they can still turn out to be crazy in person......

I personally like to go to someone’s place rather than hosting.... it’s nothing nefarious on my part ... it’s just that I don’t know how to kick people out after sex.

Yes but I never said I am up for sex first meet we are meant to be going for coffee. He came up with the assumption he could bring coffee over to my place hmm, this dude like many others is trying to get his leg up at the convenience and comfort of my sanctuary my home. Plus let’s not forget he’s saving some cash not having to pay out for a hotel etc at the same time if I allowed him to come. It’s my private space to live and invite friends family not practical strangers off the internet. no offence intended.

Putting it bluntly, tell him to fuck off, meet in town where it's busy or not at all.

S"

I just blocked him lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"There is not a one size fits all method to meeting someone.....

If you have done enough online due diligence on a person they can still turn out to be crazy in person......

I personally like to go to someone’s place rather than hosting.... it’s nothing nefarious on my part ... it’s just that I don’t know how to kick people out after sex.

Yes but I never said I am up for sex first meet we are meant to be going for coffee. He came up with the assumption he could bring coffee over to my place hmm, this dude like many others is trying to get his leg up at the convenience and comfort of my sanctuary my home. Plus let’s not forget he’s saving some cash not having to pay out for a hotel etc at the same time if I allowed him to come. It’s my private space to live and invite friends family not practical strangers off the internet. no offence intended.

Not a chance in hell I'd even tell anyone off here the town I live in.

You told him you just want coffee and he's invited himself to your house to try and get a shag. He will ignore your wishes to get his own way.

Glad you won't be meeting him. X"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Always go with your gut. First meet always in a public place. If they don't like it they can do one

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Always go with your gut. First meet always in a public place. If they don't like it they can do one "

Thank you Cookie

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd pop on your profile how you prefer to do things. Anyone who then pushes for something other isn't then respecting boundaries, and is definitely one to avoid.

I personally prefer a social somewhere public. Just a social. And see how we get along. No pressure that way and it gives me the chance to see what they're like. I've sometimes done video calls too.

I made the mistake of inviting someone over a couple of years ago. The meet itself was great but he later turned on me when I didn't want to meet again. My home address that I'd sent him (including the make of my car on the drive) was plastered on Fab for all to see. Thankfully it was taken down but it's put me off ever having anyone in my home again.

I much prefer a club meet or a hotel. Much safer for me.

X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sounds like you have him sussed out OP.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't invite strangers to my home.

I'm neither desperate nor naive. Nor uber horny.

Always a social first.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

You should only ever invite someone in to your home if you are fully comfortable with them knowing where you live and you trust them enough to have this information and to enter your home.

It's fine to never divulge your home details or to accommodate.

Some meet in hotels or always at others' places, clubs etc.

Never meet anyone anywhere, even for a coffee, until you are sure that you are ready. If pushed and are unsure, don't meet at that time.

It can be a good way to filter out those who are unsuitable, when someone is very pushy. Even when you have met someone, it's essential that you are in safe hands and can say 'no' at any moment, including after sex may have started.

I take a long time to meet others. It means some get bored and I never meet them. Don't be concerned about them, if you are not ready. And don't be concerned if you never want anyone to have your home details.

It can also be helpful to have someone who is watching your back, knowing who you are meeting and checks up with you, for your safety.

Consider social meets first, to get a feel for somebody. Anonymise your home town too, if you want to. Share only what you want to, if and when you are ready. Never concern yourself with those who may have got away - they were not right for you. Block anyone who pushes you and you are uncomfortable

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By *hubaysiWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

He sounds like an unsavoury character.

So glad you’ve deleted him now.

Sounds like you’re a confident woman and can suss out the trash on here in no time.

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By *oodnitegirlWoman
over a year ago

Yorkshire

I said my piece on this the other day but sadly it was deleted. Had a very scary and horrible experience with a stranger in my home. Like pinuppro says above things can turn nasty real quick.

If they can’t be civil and obey your preferences whilst they are trying to ‘charm’ you, what makes you think he would do it when he’s got the physical opportunity.

Stay safe. Have fun

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By *os19Man
over a year ago

Edmonton


"Is this a contentious issue? How do the rest of you feel when a guy tries to invite himself over the first time? Should I be wary? or think he’s just an opportunistic person and trying his luck and to laugh it off?

Or should I avoid men who do this like the plague? I know there are women who will invite men over even tho it’s the first time they’re meeting, this is risky don’t you think?.

I feel hotels and apartments are better once you’ve met broken the ice for any subsequent meets or a swingers club even.

Wonder what you peeps think especially you gals "
. Your profile clearly states that you can’t accommodate so what he was thinking about inviting himself over god knows.As someone who can’t accommodate myself I tend to go to club , spa that way you can have a good day / night out with like minded people and if I meet someone there we can have adult fun there or arrange something for a future date.If I send a message I always suggest drink or meal first then we can decide how to go forward after that.

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By *essie.Woman
over a year ago

Serendipity

No one should assume they can just come to yours. If they do that is a red flag for me personally. Due to a bad experience I won’t have anyone come to mine now.

I’m not meeting currently anyway, pre covid always met socially first. Then if that went to plan a hotel, club or at theirs. It worked better for me that way and I knew by going to theirs that they were genuinely single and not living with a partner.

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By *urora1912Woman
over a year ago

Norfolk East anglia


"Personally, if I was single, I'd be wary about inviting anyone (single male, couple or lady) to my home if I lived alone and to be honest, same for a hotel or AirBnB. I'd say always tell a friend or family member if you intend to entertain someone alone, tell them where you are and check in with them before and after the meet. Maybe I'm over cautious, but having found out today that one of my son's flatmates was spiked with rohypn0l in a university bar, while she was with her friends (flatmates), then frankly anything is possible. The bar tender of the university bar is the suspect. It's frightening."

I had the same happen to me in my local pub.. pretty sure I know who it was, and I now work with him

Hope shes ok

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I said my piece on this the other day but sadly it was deleted. Had a very scary and horrible experience with a stranger in my home. Like pinuppro says above things can turn nasty real quick.

If they can’t be civil and obey your preferences whilst they are trying to ‘charm’ you, what makes you think he would do it when he’s got the physical opportunity.

Stay safe. Have fun "

Someone on here gave a tip that she always says "no" about something before a meet to see how the man reacts. If he can't take a "no" about something before you even meet, don't meet him because he won't respect a no in person.

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By *acavityMan
over a year ago

Redditch


"I remind them I don't accom if they then persist (sneak me in/make an exception) it's a block. If they won't take your first answer they aren't going to care if you decide you don't want to have sex with them. It's about them & their wants

He’s apologising for assuming and apparently he’s new to Fab and poor guy doesn’t know how it works boo hoo he knows how things work ffs"

"New to fab" because boundaries don't exist anywhere else.

If your profile says can't accommodate, I don't need to know why, someone may live with their parents, have children, flatmates, or just not happy with strangers turning up.

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

I would never ask or assume , it’s just rude, even if the profile says they accom I’d expect to book a place. But it does happens quite a bit. I guess it depends if you have spoken a lot feel comfortable and trust them and it works for you. But you shouldn’t have to even say no, definitely not more than once, big red flag

Mr

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Make your own rules and stick to them.

I've not accomodated for years because I don't want to. As another poster has said, I want them gone after sex and sometimes they don't take the hint

Also I've sometimes found that if a social has been arranged, and they ask about coming back to mine, when I say it won't be happening they suddenly can't make the social

So socials work as great filters.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"He sounds like an unsavoury character.

So glad you’ve deleted him now.

Sounds like you’re a confident woman and can suss out the trash on here in no time.

"

Thanks honey that means a lot xxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I'd pop on your profile how you prefer to do things. Anyone who then pushes for something other isn't then respecting boundaries, and is definitely one to avoid.

I personally prefer a social somewhere public. Just a social. And see how we get along. No pressure that way and it gives me the chance to see what they're like. I've sometimes done video calls too.

I made the mistake of inviting someone over a couple of years ago. The meet itself was great but he later turned on me when I didn't want to meet again. My home address that I'd sent him (including the make of my car on the drive) was plastered on Fab for all to see. Thankfully it was taken down but it's put me off ever having anyone in my home again.

I much prefer a club meet or a hotel. Much safer for me.

X "

Omg what a freak, I’m so sorry to hear you were out through that.

I’ve had fwb turn up unsolicited on my doorstep not from Fab and had to tell them to fuck off.

Some people are just weird man.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Sounds like you have him sussed out OP. "

Thank you Saucy but he’s sniffing around my profile again today

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"There is not a one size fits all method to meeting someone.....

If you have done enough online due diligence on a person they can still turn out to be crazy in person......

I personally like to go to someone’s place rather than hosting.... it’s nothing nefarious on my part ... it’s just that I don’t know how to kick people out after sex.

Yes but I never said I am up for sex first meet we are meant to be going for coffee. He came up with the assumption he could bring coffee over to my place hmm, this dude like many others is trying to get his leg up at the convenience and comfort of my sanctuary my home. Plus let’s not forget he’s saving some cash not having to pay out for a hotel etc at the same time if I allowed him to come. It’s my private space to live and invite friends family not practical strangers off the internet. no offence intended.

No offense taken..... so he was basically trying to skip the social.... I got you....

So he is definitely not someone you can trust.....

He’s pretending to be ignorant now apparently he doesn’t know how fab works he’s apologised and still wants to go for coffee but I’m put off now

Go with your gut feeling op"

He’s not for me

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I don't invite strangers to my home.

I'm neither desperate nor naive. Nor uber horny.

Always a social first.

"

Totally agree

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Make your own rules and stick to them.

I've not accomodated for years because I don't want to. As another poster has said, I want them gone after sex and sometimes they don't take the hint

Also I've sometimes found that if a social has been arranged, and they ask about coming back to mine, when I say it won't be happening they suddenly can't make the social

So socials work as great filters."

Good tip thank you I find a lot of douchbags don’t even read my profile ffs

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"No one should assume they can just come to yours. If they do that is a red flag for me personally. Due to a bad experience I won’t have anyone come to mine now.

I’m not meeting currently anyway, pre covid always met socially first. Then if that went to plan a hotel, club or at theirs. It worked better for me that way and I knew by going to theirs that they were genuinely single and not living with a partner.

"

I prefer hotels apartments or a club. I wouldn’t go back to a guys place I’m funny like that.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I would never ask or assume , it’s just rude, even if the profile says they accom I’d expect to book a place. But it does happens quite a bit. I guess it depends if you have spoken a lot feel comfortable and trust them and it works for you. But you shouldn’t have to even say no, definitely not more than once, big red flag

Mr"

Exactly he is visiting my profile now hope he’s not going to become a problem

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By *amseMan
over a year ago

birmingham

That’s one of my rules here, I always meet for a social first. And its only if there is a mutual click play is on the table. For the social meet I prefer to take a coffee together so then it’s nice to have a chat together.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ask to meet them first for a social on neutral ground (eg, coffee shop). It won't make any future get together entirely risk free, but it should help you filter out the iffy ones. Good luck!"

Totally agree

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Preferably I’d meet socially for a drink beforehand.

If a woman invited me over then that’s fine.

If I was in your situation, If someone is insistent on inviting themselves over; to me that sets off red flags and would ignore them or block them if I feel something wasn’t right.

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By *naswingdressWoman
over a year ago

Manchester (she/her)

Set your rules. Have reasons why. Don't budge. If they're unwilling to meet your requirements (like social in a public place for safety) then don't meet them. Your comfort and safety (and theirs) comes first. Precaution before meets always.

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By *ear in the chairMan
over a year ago

yeah there

To be honest, as much as I'd be flattered, I'd be wary going to someones home for a 1st meet. Prefer a social or playdate on neutral territory 1st time.

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By *ickDastardlyMan
over a year ago

North East

I can't accom but I'd never invite myself around to someones house.

I take the lead from them.

I might accept the invitation if asked.

However I would suggest a place to meet, for a social (that was not your house/flat/etc)

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By *etnetWoman
over a year ago

birmingham

I’d have to say I’ve got my house mate in the other room! Lol Mean I’ve not met up with anyone and would always be cautious.

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By *itty9899Man
over a year ago

Craggy Island


"Is this a contentious issue? How do the rest of you feel when a guy tries to invite himself over the first time? Should I be wary? or think he’s just an opportunistic person and trying his luck and to laugh it off?

Or should I avoid men who do this like the plague? I know there are women who will invite men over even tho it’s the first time they’re meeting, this is risky don’t you think?.

I feel hotels and apartments are better once you’ve met broken the ice for any subsequent meets or a swingers club even.

Wonder what you peeps think especially you gals "

Avoid like the plague, unless you have some DIY to do then invite them over to do it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Should you be meeting at the moment anyway?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Should you be meeting at the moment anyway? "

I meet at clubs

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Is this a contentious issue? How do the rest of you feel when a guy tries to invite himself over the first time? Should I be wary? or think he’s just an opportunistic person and trying his luck and to laugh it off?

Or should I avoid men who do this like the plague? I know there are women who will invite men over even tho it’s the first time they’re meeting, this is risky don’t you think?.

I feel hotels and apartments are better once you’ve met broken the ice for any subsequent meets or a swingers club even.

Wonder what you peeps think especially you gals

Avoid like the plague, unless you have some DIY to do then invite them over to do it. "

Naaa I’ll get someone in for that lol

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By *awtymarkyMan
over a year ago

chester

For me I totally believe in having a social in a public place first if I am meeting a single woman for the first time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

social meet first

infact many social meets and chats

and then even a hotel room where you both arrive together

It is not only the female, or indeed male at risk inviting someone to their own home for first time

as the person who is being invited has no idea what lays instore for them, it might be a lovely female or also a gang of thugs in other room laying in wait

you just never know, and I would advise to establish full trust first and then a hotel meet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't put a single lady or couple in that position.

Social first on safe neutral ground.

If single, confide in someone or at the very least let the person you're meeting think you've told someone!

Applies to women and men btw!

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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

I personally always prefer a club if a social meet goes well, I feel safe there and and enjoy the ambiance.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We would not dare say this to anyone it’s so abusive it doesn’t need thinking about

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By *hortyfun93Man
over a year ago

london

Hi guys hope you are all doing good @asian babe x I have read what you post that's a very interesting one tbh there is no way to tell but what I like to do is have a phone convo first of all is the most important interview of your life at that stage althought I do not have my own house to accommodate good practice doesn't hurt no one if you know what I mean lol to get a gauge on the person's at least half normal but if you in your head feel like there something doggy about some one you could all ways meet with a freaind first time no rules to the game but is sad really because we're meant to be a community which kind of means like a family Lee but people ruin it smh at end of it safety first you know

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