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Judging

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I’m bemused.

Twice in the last 24hrs I’ve had people say they’re ‘not judging’ me because I’m hot, when I’ve told them I’m post op trans....

Judging me for what?

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By *iss LovelyWoman
over a year ago

Here and There

That’s a strange thing to say.

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By *irginieWoman
over a year ago

Near Marlborough

I’m fairly sure if someone says “I’m not judging, but” that is exactly what they are doing. So let’s think about what it could be....

Did you mention Covid or politics? That’ll get a judgement whatever you say.

V x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I’m fairly sure if someone says “I’m not judging, but” that is exactly what they are doing. So let’s think about what it could be....

Did you mention Covid or politics? That’ll get a judgement whatever you say.

V x "

Nope. Just said I was trans.

Is it because they think it’s a choice I’ve made?

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By *irginieWoman
over a year ago

Near Marlborough


"I’m fairly sure if someone says “I’m not judging, but” that is exactly what they are doing. So let’s think about what it could be....

Did you mention Covid or politics? That’ll get a judgement whatever you say.

V x

Nope. Just said I was trans.

Is it because they think it’s a choice I’ve made? "

Who knows. Who knows what goes through anyone’s mind when they feel like they need to pass judgement or even make any sort of comment. Human is human and we come in a multitude of sizes, colours, genders and sexualities. People who don’t get it should keep their gobs shut.

X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you judge a book by the cover then you will miss all the content .......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some mothers do av'em

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By *reemindCoolMan
over a year ago

between Barnsley and Wakefield

I canot imagine anybody would go,

through

the emotional and physical pain of being trans out of choice

Everyone deserves to be happy and you cannot be happy if you are not true to yourself.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I canot imagine anybody would go,

through

the emotional and physical pain of being trans out of choice

Everyone deserves to be happy and you cannot be happy if you are not true to yourself.

"

And it really does hurt. Especially if you get an infection that swells you until your stitch line splits like I did

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"I’m bemused.

Twice in the last 24hrs I’ve had people say they’re ‘not judging’ me because I’m hot, when I’ve told them I’m post op trans....

Judging me for what?

"

It's probably a clumsy way of saying they aren't bothered by it.

But if you weren't hot...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it's a way of justifying and not being scared of their own feelings. Not that you're anything to be scared of! I get it too as a fat woman, good enough to fuck but not to date because they're scared of people knowing they're attracted to me. I just don't think society is fully homogenised enough yet to be able to not differentiate between bodies and souls. I'm sure there are men out there who will not even bat an eyelid when you tell them, just gotta sort through all the ones who have had years worth of judgemental cultures ingrained into them first.

Lots of love OP

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I think it's a way of justifying and not being scared of their own feelings. Not that you're anything to be scared of! I get it too as a fat woman, good enough to fuck but not to date because they're scared of people knowing they're attracted to me. I just don't think society is fully homogenised enough yet to be able to not differentiate between bodies and souls. I'm sure there are men out there who will not even bat an eyelid when you tell them, just gotta sort through all the ones who have had years worth of judgemental cultures ingrained into them first.

Lots of love OP "

Perhaps were ‘mopeds’.

Great fun to ride til your mates find out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wow - you are hot!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Wow - you are hot! "

Lol. Thanks.

Just don’t judge me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think it's a way of justifying and not being scared of their own feelings. Not that you're anything to be scared of! I get it too as a fat woman, good enough to fuck but not to date because they're scared of people knowing they're attracted to me. I just don't think society is fully homogenised enough yet to be able to not differentiate between bodies and souls. I'm sure there are men out there who will not even bat an eyelid when you tell them, just gotta sort through all the ones who have had years worth of judgemental cultures ingrained into them first.

Lots of love OP

Perhaps were ‘mopeds’.

Great fun to ride til your mates find out. "

Yeah... Although I have managed to find a couple of men that have been happy and proud to take me out and be seen with me. So I know they exist. Somewhere...

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I think it's a way of justifying and not being scared of their own feelings. Not that you're anything to be scared of! I get it too as a fat woman, good enough to fuck but not to date because they're scared of people knowing they're attracted to me. I just don't think society is fully homogenised enough yet to be able to not differentiate between bodies and souls. I'm sure there are men out there who will not even bat an eyelid when you tell them, just gotta sort through all the ones who have had years worth of judgemental cultures ingrained into them first.

Lots of love OP

Perhaps were ‘mopeds’.

Great fun to ride til your mates find out.

Yeah... Although I have managed to find a couple of men that have been happy and proud to take me out and be seen with me. So I know they exist. Somewhere... "

I had a bf for seven months until his parents wanted to meet me rather just see pictures.

Moped girl.

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By *isaB45Woman
over a year ago

Fabville


"I’m bemused.

Twice in the last 24hrs I’ve had people say they’re ‘not judging’ me because I’m hot, when I’ve told them I’m post op trans....

Judging me for what?

"

It's ok, Rachael, they are demonstrating how ignorant they are

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I’m bemused.

Twice in the last 24hrs I’ve had people say they’re ‘not judging’ me because I’m hot, when I’ve told them I’m post op trans....

Judging me for what?

It's ok, Rachael, they are demonstrating how ignorant they are "

They were actually trying to chat me up.

Totally confused by it. Not just being a dick; I just didn’t understand.

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By *nigmatic_AngelWoman
over a year ago

The place where fairies live


"I’m fairly sure if someone says “I’m not judging, but” that is exactly what they are doing. So let’s think about what it could be....

Did you mention Covid or politics? That’ll get a judgement whatever you say.

V x

Nope. Just said I was trans.

Is it because they think it’s a choice I’ve made? "

It's like when people say "with respect" because what comes out of their mouth now is not respectful

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hate when people start a conversation with....

Don't take this the wrong way.

Stay strong

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I’m bemused.

Twice in the last 24hrs I’ve had people say they’re ‘not judging’ me because I’m hot, when I’ve told them I’m post op trans....

Judging me for what?

"

I private messaged you showing support as you’re really nice xx Outside your age range though xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If you judge a book by the cover then you will miss all the content ....... "

Love this!

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By *ensual -lover69Man
over a year ago

Blackburn


"I’m bemused.

Twice in the last 24hrs I’ve had people say they’re ‘not judging’ me because I’m hot, when I’ve told them I’m post op trans....

Judging me for what?

"

I wish we were nearer each other xx

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By *ovebjsMan
over a year ago

Bristol

Everyone judge's in one way or another it’s just human nature

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe it's their way of saying 'they only fuck the hot ones'.

A backwards compliment insulting other people.

Like 'you are gorgeous, far too hot and classy to be on a site like this'.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I canot imagine anybody would go,

through

the emotional and physical pain of being trans out of choice

Everyone deserves to be happy and you cannot be happy if you are not true to yourself.

And it really does hurt. Especially if you get an infection that swells you until your stitch line splits like I did "

Get well soon. Xx

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By *urrey Dave 69Man
over a year ago

Epsom, Surrey

I think its more liikely to be a clumsy use of language rather than a negative reaction. I may be wrong but I think in most cases anyone who says that is likely to be supportive and is using the reference to the fact you are post op as a way of starting a conversation.

If they had a problem with you I don't believe that is what they would have said. Hopefully by reading this thread anyone who may have made such a statement will now realise how it might be intrepreted and won't do it. It's about education and use of correct language which isn't always obvious.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just saw your profile when you posted in another thread. Never occurred to me you were anything other than gorgeous.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thanks for all the positivity and support on here. Plus the pm’s too.

I didn’t choose to be trans. I didn’t decide to be a girl, I simply decided not to keep trying so hard to be a guy. I was seriously crap at that

So I started showing the girl within and then, as I felt better and better, I decided to rid myself of the things wrong with me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thanks for all the positivity and support on here. Plus the pm’s too.

I didn’t choose to be trans. I didn’t decide to be a girl, I simply decided not to keep trying so hard to be a guy. I was seriously crap at that

So I started showing the girl within and then, as I felt better and better, I decided to rid myself of the things wrong with me. "

I’ve worked with transgender kids, I also have a friend who’s teenager is currently going through the stages.

Your last sentence... we are all similar, your just braver and stronger to embrace who you actually are. Don’t ever forget that!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think its more liikely to be a clumsy use of language rather than a negative reaction.

"

Tbh i think this is the closest explanation for it.. if they werent being a dick and just trying to be nice and friendly, its more like clumsiness.. especially towards someone who is trans pre or post op.. like they feel theyre stepping on a thin sheet of ice and the slightest bit of negativity could break that.

As for ppl not wanting to be seen with someone who is trans.. its them who are ashamed of themselves. And its their loss cos thatll pretty much destroy whatever it is you have with them... shame.

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By *ensual -lover69Man
over a year ago

Blackburn


"I think its more liikely to be a clumsy use of language rather than a negative reaction.

Tbh i think this is the closest explanation for it.. if they werent being a dick and just trying to be nice and friendly, its more like clumsiness.. especially towards someone who is trans pre or post op.. like they feel theyre stepping on a thin sheet of ice and the slightest bit of negativity could break that.

As for ppl not wanting to be seen with someone who is trans.. its them who are ashamed of themselves. And its their loss cos thatll pretty much destroy whatever it is you have with them... shame."

I totally agree

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By *rcadian110Couple
over a year ago

Barnsley

Not sorry to say we judged you when we first talked to you.

Your an amazing, beautiful and strong woman. You have a huge heart and are driven and intelligent.

You are always willing to help those who need guidance

In our judgment your a person that anyone would be lucky to know.

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By *arry247Couple
over a year ago

Wakefield


"I’m bemused.

Twice in the last 24hrs I’ve had people say they’re ‘not judging’ me because I’m hot, when I’ve told them I’m post op trans....

Judging me for what?

"

People make judgements all the time, too tall, too short, too fat, too thin, wrong sex, wrong colour and a 1001 different things, that's life.

You will never be able to please everyone so try not to let them bother you. They have the problem not you.

Concentrate instead on the ones who give you pleasure and enjoy their company

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Not sorry to say we judged you when we first talked to you.

Your an amazing, beautiful and strong woman. You have a huge heart and are driven and intelligent.

You are always willing to help those who need guidance

In our judgment your a person that anyone would be lucky to know. "

Aw guys. You’re so lovely. Thank you

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