FabSwingers.com forum: Not reaching orgasm...

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Delicate issue here...

I met an incredible woman. Mind blowingly incredible. This woman doesn’t just turn my head, but turns my whole life around kind of incredible. To say I’ve fallen for her is the understatement of the year. I’m lucky.

Anyway, she also likes me which is something of a minor miracle in itself, and the sex is amazing, for both of us. As well as being beautiful, attentive, sensual and adventurous, her body is so hot than when she’s naked global warming increases. One minor issue though is that I’m not reaching orgasm, so no ejaculations, although I’m still having the time of my life.

I’ve no idea why. I do concentrate a lot on her pleasure (looks to be working) and maybe I’m trying to hard? She is hugely understanding and hasn’t raised it as an issue, but I know she wants me to climax and I would be devastated if she felt my performance issues were a reflection on her. Trust me, she’s the real deal. Perhaps I’m just awestruck to be with her? Can you be too captivated to perform?

I’d be interested to know if anyone else has faced a similar situation and how it worked out? Open to advice and suggestions...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can you cum when wanking?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Yes... but I’ve always found in the past that after prolonged sexual activity without cuming, I became desensitised and won’t.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

After you've made her reach an orgasm, you should pull out and let her finish you off by hand/orally. You deserve it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You've probably given yourself death grip. For some people, fleshlights can help "re-sensitise".

But if your partner isn't bothered, and you have open dialogue about it, don't worry too much. Imagine if you were with a woman that couldn't cum - would you be too bothered? So long as you're both enjoying it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thank you for everything so far!

To date, she hasn’t flagged this as an issue but I know things she likes and would want to happen, and this is getting in the way (in my head). She is incredibly understanding, and caring.

I feel bad about it, because if I couldn’t have her reach orgasm I’d feel disappointed in my self and that I’d let her down. I don’t want her to feel bad. Fortunately she does reach orgasm, many many times and it’s incredible. I really want her to have that back.

Death grip... perhaps.

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By *allySlinkyWoman
over a year ago

Leeds

I had amazing sex with my previous partner. He could last for hours. We had frequent sex but he only ejaculated about once a month. I just got used to it and realised he could still get enjoyment without reaching a climax every time.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I had amazing sex with my previous partner. He could last for hours. We had frequent sex but he only ejaculated about once a month. I just got used to it and realised he could still get enjoyment without reaching a climax every time. "

Believe me, I’m seriously enjoying it!

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By *ockosaurusMan
over a year ago

Warwick

Just talk to her.

If she understands it shouldn't be a problem.

I've suffered from delayed ejaculation (it's the lesser known cousin of premature ejaculation) for a long time now.

There are physical and psychological reasons, but at you can cum from wanking, it's sounds like it's psychological... Same as me but I can't help with that too much, as I'm still figuring it out myself.

You can have amazing sex, just can't finish. It can be annoying, but I've found generally that once I've explained it, the people I'm with actually like it as I can last longer.

Good hydration, sleep and 'not' worrying about pleasing her so much helps. It's not being selfish, as you will still focus on her, it's just being less... selfless. They're is nothing wrong with wanting enjoyment for yourself.

Most women love seeing a guy getting that level of pleasure, and if you've explained the situation I'm sure she'd be more than happy to help.

Good luck with it!

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By *ockosaurusMan
over a year ago

Warwick

"After you've made her reach an orgasm, you should pull out and let her finish you off by hand/orally. You deserve it! "

Even that didn't work for me

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Just talk to her.

If she understands it shouldn't be a problem.

I've suffered from delayed ejaculation (it's the lesser known cousin of premature ejaculation) for a long time now.

You can have amazing sex, just can't finish. It can be annoying, but I've found generally that once I've explained it, the people I'm with actually like it as I can last longer.

Most women love seeing a guy getting that level of pleasure, and if you've explained the situation I'm sure she'd be more than happy to help.

Good luck with it!

Thank you! That helps, and I really appreciate your honesty and understanding!

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