FabSwingers.com forum: Tips for chatting/picking up couples

By *eeks-R-Us OP Couple
over a year ago

Livingston

Hey all!

One of our fantasies/goals is to one day chat up another couple while on a night out and we actually feel like we may have had some near misses in the past (only due to a lack of confidence from us).

We were both relative rubbish at this as single people before we met so that doesn't help!

So we were wondering if any of the lovely couples on fab have had much luck with doing this and if they had any tips to share? Are there telltale signs we should look for etc?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I can't offer any tips on chatting up or picking up couples but we've been on the receiving end of being chatted up a few times. From that point of view I'd say don't go for the divide and rule approach which has been used on us i.e. the guy cornered me and the woman cornered Mr N. Also don't assume that they will be up for it.

I think anyone who's open to this sort of thing will pick up on your signals immediately, so a friendly hello and the offer of a drink will alert someone who's tuned to it. Anyone who isn't will just look at you as if you're mad

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ethnmelvCouple
over a year ago

Cardiff

Good questions! To be honest with some people you just click and with others you don’t. We have found people that we chat to on here that we can have a chat to in a Club, but there isn’t a spark

The other challenge with couples is being clear to each other when someone takes your fancy! We had early occurrences of ‘I didn’t think you were interested’, so communication, or even code words to let each other know that you are up for playing. Clearly with 2 couples the opportunity to confuse is multiplied!!

We have found that it is best to make eye contact, smile, say hello and maybe chat for 5-10 mins and then say you are going to look around and see if the others want to join you. You might find they will come with you and then you can suggest some fun, or they might not, but you can both move on withought awkwardness.

Oh to have the chance again!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hey all!

One of our fantasies/goals is to one day chat up another couple while on a night out and we actually feel like we may have had some near misses in the past (only due to a lack of confidence from us).

We were both relative rubbish at this as single people before we met so that doesn't help!

So we were wondering if any of the lovely couples on fab have had much luck with doing this and if they had any tips to share? Are there telltale signs we should look for etc? "

Be careful on this one.. we were out the other week in Manchester, canal street.... got chatting to a ‘straight couple’... the beers were flowing... and shots.. we told them we were swingers... the girls ended up kissing.... they wanted to come back to our hotel with us... we talked the out of it, said if you still feel the same in the morning sober we would stay another night and meet up with them again.... they text us the next day thanking us for a good night, and also for talking them out of doing something they would have regretted......

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ilberryMan
over a year ago

Scarborough

Watching this one, almost like unicorn hunting?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Watching this one, almost like unicorn hunting?

In theory it sounds good, in reality its more of a mine field

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eeks-R-Us OP Couple
over a year ago

Livingston

We totally agree with you. Definitely not a good idea to do too much with anyone who's had too much to drink. The idea to exchange numbers and check in when sober is a good one as well.

It's definitely a minefield that's for sure, and not something we're activity "hunting" if we're honest. Hopefully if/when it happens it'll be clear it's a goodun but if not we'll just walk away. Far safer option haha!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Of course there is always exceptions.... I wouldn’t mind another trip to Edinburgh for a night out... feel free to hunt ya down ...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *tormchasingCouple
over a year ago

Essex

This is a really hot scenario and one we would love to have the confidence to do too, so we are watching this thread with interest.

One thing we would say though, we have found so many more people than we expected are intrigued by the idea of this lifestyle. So maybe just a bit of confidence and reading the signals well is the key.

We would love to be chatted up by you guys in an Edinburgh bar sometime!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hey all!

One of our fantasies/goals is to one day chat up another couple while on a night out and we actually feel like we may have had some near misses in the past (only due to a lack of confidence from us).

We were both relative rubbish at this as single people before we met so that doesn't help!

So we were wondering if any of the lovely couples on fab have had much luck with doing this and if they had any tips to share? Are there telltale signs we should look for etc?

Great measured, mature approach. You guys are obviously fab ambassadors for the scene

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In "the olden days" Mrs Morespice and I had the same conversation. We never did find another couple through this route but we reckoned that whilst on holiday was the best bet.

Warm, less clothing, a little bit to drink ..... it all adds to the mix!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In "the olden days" Mrs Morespice and I had the same conversation. We never did find another couple through this route but we reckoned that whilst on holiday was the best bet.

Warm, less clothing, a little bit to drink ..... it all adds to the mix!"

Yes agreed, the perfect recipe for taking advantage of people, possibly ending an otherwise happy relationship ... for a night of fun and ‘turning’ some newbies

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"In "the olden days" Mrs Morespice and I had the same conversation. We never did find another couple through this route but we reckoned that whilst on holiday was the best bet.

Warm, less clothing, a little bit to drink ..... it all adds to the mix!"
I

We've been approached a couple of times on holiday. How do the couple doing the approaching expect anyone to take things further without actually talking to their partner first? We could hardly turn to each other and say "I don't fancy him/her" or "you can if you want but I'll sit this one out"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eeks-R-Us OP Couple
over a year ago

Livingston

"We've been approached a couple of times on holiday. How do the couple doing the approaching expect anyone to take things further without actually talking to their partner first? We could hardly turn to each other and say "I don't fancy him/her" or "you can if you want but I'll sit this one out"

Haha unless you've happened to talk about them before they arrive it's very true!

If our phones are working abroad I'd just text Kay personally haha. Bit more subtle perhaps?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Haha unless you've happened to talk about them before they arrive it's very true!

If our phones are working abroad I'd just text Kay personally haha. Bit more subtle perhaps?

One time we were in a swimming pool. The guy cornered me and the woman cornered Mr N. It was like a military operation

. We have an agreement that we don't swing on holiday unless circs are exceptional so we both knew nothing was going to happen but we felt this was a bit predatory.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eeks-R-Us OP Couple
over a year ago

Livingston

"In "the olden days" Mrs Morespice and I had the same conversation. We never did find another couple through this route but we reckoned that whilst on holiday was the best bet.

Warm, less clothing, a little bit to drink ..... it all adds to the mix!

Yes agreed, the perfect recipe for taking advantage of people, possibly ending an otherwise happy relationship ... for a night of fun and ‘turning’ some newbies "

Again, totally agree here. We'd hate to be the reason a couple split!

It's one of the reason we don't play with people who are "playing without permission" and very careful even if they do apparently have permission to play away.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *eeks-R-Us OP Couple
over a year ago

Livingston

"One time we were in a swimming pool. The guy cornered me and the woman cornered Mr N. It was like a military operation

. We have an agreement that we don't swing on holiday unless circs are exceptional so we both knew nothing was going to happen but we felt this was a bit predatory."

Yeah that's definitely a bit predatory for sure. I'm not sure how we'd react in that situation but I can't imagine it going well!

We're far more innocent and shy ourselves so if we were the ones doing the chatting up it would definitely be as a group and likewise I think we'd prefer to be spoken to together.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aysOfOurLivesCouple
over a year ago

Essex

"In "We'd hate to be the reason a couple split!

It's one of the reason we don't play with people who are "playing without permission" and very careful even if they do apparently have permission to play away. "

Hiya. You have a very admirable approach and it’s very much ours too. However, if it ever came to light that tour we’re duped and it led to a split in someone’s relationship it would absolutely never be your fault. It would be solely the fault of the cheater and it’s not cheating if your partner has “approved” it.

Just small thing that I’m sure your know and understand too.

Enjoy life. ??

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"In "the olden days" Mrs Morespice and I had the same conversation. We never did find another couple through this route but we reckoned that whilst on holiday was the best bet.

Warm, less clothing, a little bit to drink ..... it all adds to the mix!

Yes agreed, the perfect recipe for taking advantage of people, possibly ending an otherwise happy relationship ... for a night of fun and ‘turning’ some newbies "

I think you've jumped to a few conclusions that weren't actually there.

First, this was us talking, it never happened.

Secondly, why would they be newbies? I'm sure lots of swinging couples actually go on holidays.

Third, who's taking advantage if everyone agrees?

You're not responsible for my behaviour, I'm not responsible for yours and neither of us are responsible for a couple who have sex with another couple when they are away on hols. Thanks for listening though.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread