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boundaries

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Is it normal to set some sort of boundaries and limits with your partner when swinging?? Has ne1 gone outside of these and what impact has it had on there relationship?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Only once, when he left me tied up at a party, luckily not for long, it was held at someone I had already been to a party at, and as it was at the beginning of the party, most were not too d*unk told him not to leave me again. He was very apologetic and made up for it later by leaving not just the sheets wet but the quilt too

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

Saw the status of a couple: "we are no longer playing as Mr was caught having bareback sex in the shower".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We always discuss and set boundaries with new people, everyone want something different so its good to be on the same page. But we have fun discussing all the ins and outs...

One couple with us pushed their boundaries, lol they ran off!!! Never to be heard from again, closed their account and popped up in a new name a week later not looking for couples! Shame not everyone lives by the term 'honesty is the best policy'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Saw the status of a couple: "we are no longer playing as Mr was caught having bareback sex in the shower". "

Ooh!...

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Think some people don't realise that wiv boundaries the trust increases. I think its important to stay within the boundaries set by ur partner, afterall ur relationship should come 1st.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Think some people don't realise that wiv boundaries the trust increases. I think its important to stay within the boundaries set by ur partner, afterall ur relationship should come 1st."
well said x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it's important to have boundaries and to discuss those along the way. The most important relationship is the one with your partner and that's the one that should come first at all times and if people you play with don't 'get that' then they are not the right people for you.

There are a number of things we enjoy between us, like anal and swallowing his cum for example, but these are things we want to keep strictly between us. I think above all though, safe sex is the most non negotiable boundary as we both value our health too much to take that risk.

Communication is key though and the more you talk about things, the clearer the boundaries are and everyone is happy

Chilli

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Me and raja are very new to this. I've dun most of the playing. I've told him wat my boundaries are if he wanted to play, and although not major small boundaries have been broken and he doesn't seem to realise the importance of that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's the no 1 rule in swinging as a couple as far as we are concerned. You must have clearly defined limits and boundaries and know exactly what each others is before you ever go into a meet. If a situation arises which goes outside those boundaries, then that is the time to call at halt to the meet and go and discuss it before proceeding. It may kill the mood for a bit, but far better to do that than it ruin all the hard work you have put in for months or years into leading a fulfilling swinging life... lecture over!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Me and raja are very new to this. I've dun most of the playing. I've told him wat my boundaries are if he wanted to play, and although not major small boundaries have been broken and he doesn't seem to realise the importance of that."

Get him told! Small boundaries broken could slowly turn into a major boundary being broken. Better to talk about it sooner than later I think.

My fb has no boundaries but I do. He can do whatever he likes but if it involves me then I tell him how far I'll go.

Sometimes we chat about things in fantasy scenario's that I'd never do in 'real life'. So I just make sure I let him know which is which.

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By *hoenixcouplexxCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire


"It's the no 1 rule in swinging as a couple as far as we are concerned. You must have clearly defined limits and boundaries and know exactly what each others is before you ever go into a meet. If a situation arises which goes outside those boundaries, then that is the time to call at halt to the meet and go and discuss it before proceeding. It may kill the mood for a bit, but far better to do that than it ruin all the hard work you have put in for months or years into leading a fulfilling swinging life... lecture over! "

Definitely. We don't have many left now but the ones that are there are golden.

We always ask if the other couple have any and what they are. As far as we are concerned at a meet they are written in stone they are only discussed between meets.

One couple told us that she wasn't ready for full sex. She was a little miffed that Mr P wouldn't oblige during the meet. The other guy was busy shaking his head in the background. Afterwards he was very greatful and they had a huge amount of talking to do.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

So it is normal to have more boundaries at the beggining when ur starting off? Me and raja talk alot about wat we happy with and not happy with before I play. Just need to try and get him to do the same..lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We both only really have 2 boundaries, no kissing on the lips as my wife wants that to be special to her and of course condom is a must, tho the amount of couples we have come across wanting bareback is unbelievable!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So it is normal to have more boundaries at the beggining when ur starting off? Me and raja talk alot about wat we happy with and not happy with before I play. Just need to try and get him to do the same..lol"

Absolutely normal, and from what you have described so far, imho you need to take 5, and talk about this before you both get out of your depth! Before Perky and I even put our profile up on Fab, we had a long discussion about what we would and would NOT do, and since then we have refined even that list of do'd and don'ts. Still amazes us that other couples are not ready for the kind of up-front questions we ask them when we start chatting/msn etc, but it is essential to do so for us. We all spend so much time arranging meets, there would be nothing more disheartening to get to the meet only to find you have got it so wrong, it's embarrassing.

Really thing you and Raja need to have a proper talk about this.

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By *BW4toyboyzWoman
over a year ago

Bedford

I concur! I can't believe how many people do seem to think that not wearing a condom is fine...How insane is that?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"One couple told us that she wasn't ready for full sex. She was a little miffed that Mr P wouldn't oblige during the meet. The other guy was busy shaking his head in the background. Afterwards he was very greatful and they had a huge amount of talking to do."

Good for you for sticking to your guns

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By *eakcoupleCouple
over a year ago

peak district

We don't have problems with boundaries, we're both agreed on what we do and don't do sexually, which is almost exactly the same. She wouldn't have full sex until she was ready, and he didn't either until she took that step. She won't do anal but is happy for him to do it with other women. We're happy with separate room sex at parties and in clubs.

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By *hoenixcouplexxCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire


"So it is normal to have more boundaries at the beggining when ur starting off? Me and raja talk alot about wat we happy with and not happy with before I play. Just need to try and get him to do the same..lol"

It's very normal. But for swinging to really work for any couple long term you both need to know them and stick to them. Of course the change as you guys to but one or other breaking them will lead to a bad place in the end. We have seen it so many times already.

Honesty and communication ate absolute key!

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By *hoenixcouplexxCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire


"One couple told us that she wasn't ready for full sex. She was a little miffed that Mr P wouldn't oblige during the meet. The other guy was busy shaking his head in the background. Afterwards he was very greatful and they had a huge amount of talking to do.

Good for you for sticking to your guns "

It wasn't easy she was very convincing! Lol

But a boundary is a boundary theirs or ours.

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By *ilk69Man
over a year ago

city.

i just love the forum,s, ive lernent so much by reading them, thank you one and all.xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Our only rule is safe sex. Nothing else! We feel that works for us as there is nothing (oh and poo) that we won't try! Our rules relaxed very quickly as we discovered how amazing swinging can be xxxx

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By *tensonSwingersCouple
over a year ago

Stenson Fields

Yes,boundaries are a must. Without our walls and fences, any old tom, dick, harry or mable may walk in!....a nice privet does the trick in our garden

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hiya,

I am very new to this site and me and my partner has had this discussion about boundries,its a little awkward our situation because i am a bi fem looking for bi fem to join me, i want my partner there to watch and join in but only with me, i dont want my partner to touch her or her touch him either, i know its jumping in on someones question i do apologise but any help would be greatly appreciated, do you think i am too strict with my boundries or do you think i am right to set these from day one between me and my partner and on our profile? xx thankyou

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hiya,

I am very new to this site and me and my partner has had this discussion about boundries,its a little awkward our situation because i am a bi fem looking for bi fem to join me, i want my partner there to watch and join in but only with me, i dont want my partner to touch her or her touch him either, i know its jumping in on someones question i do apologise but any help would be greatly appreciated, do you think i am too strict with my boundries or do you think i am right to set these from day one between me and my partner and on our profile? xx thankyou "

No you are not too strict with your boundaries. Your boundaries are precisely that - YOUR boundaries. End of.

Just talk it through clearly with your partner AND with anyone you meet BEFORE you meet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

great thankyou for your reply xxx

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By *exy_couple_now_mancCouple
over a year ago

Oldham

We dont swop m/f that's our fixed boundary all the others we have broke but with each others concent and we are stronger as a couple as we hide nothing from each other and we talk about everything in detail that's the key

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

any couples have zero boundaries out of curiosity

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By *hoenixcouplexxCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire


"Hiya,

I am very new to this site and me and my partner has had this discussion about boundries,its a little awkward our situation because i am a bi fem looking for bi fem to join me, i want my partner there to watch and join in but only with me, i dont want my partner to touch her or her touch him either, i know its jumping in on someones question i do apologise but any help would be greatly appreciated, do you think i am too strict with my boundries or do you think i am right to set these from day one between me and my partner and on our profile? xx thankyou "

That's not an uncommon boundary and any boundries you set are your boundries so therefore exceptable however.....

You have to remember that you boundries may not suit others so they may therefore choose not to play with you because of them.

Remember when adding a third person to a playtime they have thoughts and feelings to and a lot of the ladies don't like to feel like a plaything for a couple and they want to share equally. Oh and they may also want so cock to! Lol

So yes your boundries are exceptable but you may find it tough finding what you want because of them...

X

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By *ishopstippleMan
over a year ago

Purley


"Hiya,

I am very new to this site and me and my partner has had this discussion about boundries,its a little awkward our situation because i am a bi fem looking for bi fem to join me, i want my partner there to watch and join in but only with me, i dont want my partner to touch her or her touch him either, i know its jumping in on someones question i do apologise but any help would be greatly appreciated, do you think i am too strict with my boundries or do you think i am right to set these from day one between me and my partner and on our profile? xx thankyou "

Woooow

Your both swingers yes? but you wont allow him to play ! thats reserved entirly for you with your selfish desires?

Where is HE in this relationship ? Did HE know when you first met you wanted a slave/cuckhold ? Is this a partnership or a Boss servent one ? You should be asking yourself whay are you such a control freak ?

I think you have a lot more talking and LISTENING to do before you go much further with swinging.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think this is vital!

Your swing partner is the one person there who knows your exact limits, who is your advocate, who can push you only just to where you want to go but may not dare to and who can step in in a heartbeat when your limits are tested or breached.

Trust and understanding between you is paramount.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Think some people don't realise that wiv boundaries the trust increases. I think its important to stay within the boundaries set by ur partner, afterall ur relationship should come 1st."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think this is vital!

Your swing partner is the one person there who knows your exact limits, who is your advocate, who can push you only just to where you want to go but may not dare to and who can step in in a heartbeat when your limits are tested or breached.

Trust and understanding between you is paramount.

"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think this is vital!

Your swing partner is the one person there who knows your exact limits, who is your advocate, who can push you only just to where you want to go but may not dare to and who can step in in a heartbeat when your limits are tested or breached.

Trust and understanding between you is paramount.

"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi,

Thanks for all your replies,Can i just make one thing clear that my partner is in total agreement with our boundries,it is his fantasy as well as mine, his fantasy is to see me with another women not for him to be with another women,and my fantasy is to be with another women whilst he watches and we both know that it would turn him on very much that he wouldnt be able to keep his hands off me, so thats where we have decided on what the boundries would be, its not me setting them and him having ''no part'' in the relationship thats both our fantasies thrown into one,

Thanks for all the advice anyway xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a single woman who plays with couples one of my first questions is what are your boundaries. I must admit I've never had a couple ask me if I have any boundaries I don't think. Its not just couples with boundaries.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 23/06/12 00:24:03]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hiya,

I am very new to this site and me and my partner has had this discussion about boundries,its a little awkward our situation because i am a bi fem looking for bi fem to join me, i want my partner there to watch and join in but only with me, i dont want my partner to touch her or her touch him either, i know its jumping in on someones question i do apologise but any help would be greatly appreciated, do you think i am too strict with my boundries or do you think i am right to set these from day one between me and my partner and on our profile? xx thankyou

Woooow

Your both swingers yes? but you wont allow him to play ! thats reserved entirly for you with your selfish desires?

Where is HE in this relationship ? Did HE know when you first met you wanted a slave/cuckhold ? Is this a partnership or a Boss servent one ? You should be asking yourself whay are you such a control freak ?

I think you have a lot more talking and LISTENING to do before you go much further with swinging. "

Sorry but who are you to judge what someone else's idea of swinging is?

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By *ouple in LancashireCouple
over a year ago

in Lancashire


"Hiya,

I am very new to this site and me and my partner has had this discussion about boundries,its a little awkward our situation because i am a bi fem looking for bi fem to join me, i want my partner there to watch and join in but only with me, i dont want my partner to touch her or her touch him either, i know its jumping in on someones question i do apologise but any help would be greatly appreciated, do you think i am too strict with my boundries or do you think i am right to set these from day one between me and my partner and on our profile? xx thankyou

Woooow

Your both swingers yes? but you wont allow him to play ! thats reserved entirly for you with your selfish desires?

Where is HE in this relationship ? Did HE know when you first met you wanted a slave/cuckhold ? Is this a partnership or a Boss servent one ? You should be asking yourself whay are you such a control freak ?

I think you have a lot more talking and LISTENING to do before you go much further with swinging.

Sorry but who are you to judge what someone else's idea of swinging is?"

give the guy a break...

he's been on here for two weeks after all..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Saw the status of a couple: "we are no longer playing as Mr was caught having bareback sex in the shower". "

sounds like a topic for jeremy lol

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By *john121Man
over a year ago

staffs


"Hiya,

I am very new to this site and me and my partner has had this discussion about boundries,its a little awkward our situation because i am a bi fem looking for bi fem to join me, i want my partner there to watch and join in but only with me, i dont want my partner to touch her or her touch him either, i know its jumping in on someones question i do apologise but any help would be greatly appreciated, do you think i am too strict with my boundries or do you think i am right to set these from day one between me and my partner and on our profile? xx thankyou "

Your boundaries are exactly that yours!

Some may see them as being one sided but does that really matter?

It may hamper your choices as a bi fem may want some male attention too.

You may have to be prepared for this current set of boundaries to change with time as as with most new experiences they can become a little tired over time.

Some may wonder if he's being so compliant as to just to get you involved in the process.

Who suggested you both try swinging and why?

Also if you have some doubts already it may be an idea to sit and talk.

It does sound like a cuckold relationship so is he truely happy with this?

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By *reenonionsMan
over a year ago

Nr Exeter

It's a bit of a pity that many need to talk about boundaries.

If you are really in tune with your partner then you already know what's what and more importantly, it's heartfelt to not upset your other half.

That's the magic

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"It's a bit of a pity that many need to talk about boundaries.

If you are really in tune with your partner then you already know what's what and more importantly, it's heartfelt to not upset your other half.

That's the magic "

I think that being in tune with someone involves talking though, for me anyway. I always say to my man that he knows what I want better than I do but that is partly because we talk so much and part of that conversation is about our boundaries. I would love to be but am not telepathic

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

hi all,

yes my partner is fully and completly happy with our boundries as much as i am, we didnt sit and give each other orders we talked as normal couples do before we joined this site, we sat and talked about fantasies and our sex life, we have an amazing sex life as a couple and wanted to explore other options, which one of them was this, i wanted to explore my bisexual side more and he is very happy for me to do this and i wanted him to be involved so we spoke about how he could be and this was our outcome, he would be there watching, and as most men he would get turned on by the fact that i am enjoying myself too so we spoke about him joining in with us, and like i said he doesnt want to be involved with the other women and just wants to join in with me and personally i dont see that as a problem we all get our ''fun'' in the way we want it just like everyone else on here, xx

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