FabSwingers.com forum: Feeling ugly

By *rcadian110 OP Couple
over a year ago

Barnsley

How do you.larger guys deal with feeling like a stepping ston to you beautiful ladies? I have confidence issues that really sick when couples say they will "take one for the team' just to have fun with my wife. She's feeling selfish as almost everyone just wants her. It's now really getting to us so how do other larger guys cope?

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By *aughtyBlokeKentMan
over a year ago

Kent/Gatwick area

What are you on about man??? You're not "ugly" by any manner! All blokes find it tough on here whilst women are inundated.

You and your lovely wife both appear to be a similar kinda build and you're obviously attracted to each other so can't you look for another couple with much the same build and preferences? Lots of women adore bigger guys just as your wife does, and just as many blokes adore bigger girls. There's no need for anyone to feel they're taking one for the team.

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

"What are you on about man??? You're not "ugly" by any manner! All blokes find it tough on here whilst women are inundated.

Totally agree but if it is getting you down then only you can change your body shape by making a few lifestyle changes.

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

"How do you.larger guys deal with feeling like a stepping ston to you beautiful ladies? I have confidence issues that really sick when couples say they will "take one for the team' just to have fun with my wife. She's feeling selfish as almost everyone just wants her. It's now really getting to us so how do other larger guys cope?"

Is alot of it in your mind as your verifications praise both of you as a couple.

Do couples honestly say to you we'll take one for the team to get to your wife, surely at that point you make a decision to either turn them down or enjoy the sex even if the other woman is taking one for the team ?

Ps Do women in couples often take one for the team ? That's quite sad really

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know the feeling. Its pretty shit but unfortunately its largely something you have to deal with.

Dont get me wrong, you can optimise; hit the gym, groom well etc etc, but unless you are substantially more attractive than your partner as the male you will always be the stepping stone in the swinging world. Its just the way it is, so either accept it as I do, or dont swing. I genuinely think doing any other is just going to make you feel worse.

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By *risTheHornyBikerMan
over a year ago

Bristol

I struggle with it sometimes, I'm always paranoid that whoever I'm talking to at a club on on fab finds me unattractive. It's one of my insecurities.

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By *bsolutebeginnersCouple
over a year ago

Planet Ork

I don’t feel ugly but I do feel fat. I dieted and exercised but picked up injuries and the weight loss plateaued and then crept back up. At the end of the day though we are both happy together. If I put people off meeting us because of my dad bod then it doesn’t really bother me. As the old adage goes, it’s their loss not ours.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

If anything impacts on our selfesteem, we have to decide whether we can change how we respond to the feedback that we get or avoid/change the input that we get.

Our self-beliefs are often a long-term issue. Your partner is perhaps the best person who can help you to overcome the repetition of this hurtful pattern.

It may also help if you largely engage with the same people who aren't a problem, via longer term engagements. If you only involved yourselves with others who viewed you positively, you'd avoid the triggers that you interpret and then hurt yourself from.

The best thing if for us to focus on what's 100% ours - in this instance, how we respond to others' feedback, our reaction.

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By *ikely ladMan
over a year ago

Hounslow

One thing I will say, if you have insecurity issues, this site isn't the best fella. Unfortunately it's not necessarily you. As a couple you have the choice, and you won't be a spectator.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The only way to feel more confident is to take control of your life and do things that make you respect yourself more. Your wife likes you for valid reasons.

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