FabSwingers.com forum: Spying

By *quirt1810 OP Woman
over a year ago

Boston

Someone on this site is reporting everything I do to someone in the vanilla world, apart from deleting my account what can I do?

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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley

"Someone on this site is reporting everything I do to someone in the vanilla world, apart from deleting my account what can I do?"

Do you know who it is?

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By *irky_coupleCouple
over a year ago

kirky

depends who the someone is and how much it bothers you

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By *quirt1810 OP Woman
over a year ago

Boston

No I don’t know who it is but the vanilla person has confirmed it but won’t tell me who

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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago

Dudley

"No I don’t know who it is but the vanilla person has confirmed it but won’t tell me who"

That's such a crappy thing to do, tell you but not tell you who it is

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By *toC Thats MeWoman
over a year ago

Sheffield

Just make all your pics friends only, and check your friends list, anyone it could be delete off. You shouldn’t have to delete your profile for anyone that’s proper snidy of the person xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You can hide your profile......

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By *quirt1810 OP Woman
over a year ago

Boston

I can hide it but it could happen after, it’s the statuses mainly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Who are they reporting to? Maybe you could get it from them?

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By *HaRiFMan
over a year ago

Beyond the shadows.

You could not put up statuses

But have you thought that the someone in the vanilla world might actually be here

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By *ob198XaMan
over a year ago

teleford

How did the person in the vanilla world inform you this was happening and why won’t they tell you who it is? Does your profile give enough to identity you? Might it not be the vanilla person is not so vanilla?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They are also on here so maybe not so vanilla?

It's got to be someone who has a problem with you in the non fab world too so have a good think. You can ask the people you suspect without mentioning Fab. Dig a little deeper. Hope you find out who it is.

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By *ig1gaz1Man
over a year ago

bradford

"Someone on this site is reporting everything I do to someone in the vanilla world, apart from deleting my account what can I do?"

Depends on what you are hiding of coarse for this someone on the vanila side of it to be reporting back to them.

as goes for the other person its a different matter as they are on here for the same thing.

otherwise they wouldnt be here unless they actually know you are on here.

female friends or is it a male friend thats spouting

you could always try a trap to find out who but they would still be able to get on here anyway so not much you could do about it.

whatever you got to hide its either come clean so they cant say anything else or delete the account.

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By *ackformore100Man
over a year ago

Tin town

"Someone on this site is reporting everything I do to someone in the vanilla world, apart from deleting my account what can I do?"

That's nasty and nobody needs that grief. Is there a chance that the vanilla person is actually the same person as the spy on here? You have two options really. Close the account or get your vanilla "friend" to Spill the beans. I suppose 3rd option is to hide profile for a while and hope they get bored but as soon as you activate it again you run the risk they will start hassling you again. Good luck with it.

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By *quirt1810 OP Woman
over a year ago

Boston

The vanilla person is a guy ive been seeing, I’ve been 100% honest about what I do and obviously he doesn’t like it . It’s not him on here it’s a friend of his that’s on here. I just think it’s creepy and disgusting that someone on here who should understand about genuine swingers and the need for discretion could stoop that low

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By *weety321Woman
over a year ago

nottingham

I’ve had this happen to me... it really is shit! I’ve blocked people but still had spies. Then a name slipped which wasn’t meant to happen. Too little too late and nothing to tell now as I’m careful with what I share. I did think about coming off here for a bit but no I ain’t giving any sort of reaction because that’s what they want.

1 thing you could do is hide your profile, change everything on it and even change your name. Remove friends/hot lists and then display profile and see if it continues

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By *quirt1810 OP Woman
over a year ago

Boston

I’m not changing anything, I can deal with the consequences, it just fu.ks me off that someone on here doing the same as everyone else and probably has something to hide himself would do that

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Don't put any statuses up and consider that your vanilla friend might have joined fab to look at your profile.

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By *irginieWoman
over a year ago

Near Marlborough

I have had similar. I used to rather enjoy putting up fake statuses and waiting for the fallout. It was soooooo obvious.

V x

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By *quirt1810 OP Woman
over a year ago

Boston

Now that is the best idea I’ve heard

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This has all sorts of potential!

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By *quirt1810 OP Woman
over a year ago

Boston

"This has all sorts of potential!"

Suggestions on a postcard please

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm really sorry you're going through this.

Sadly the only real way to get that information is through your vanilla friend.

The other option could be to send different messages to people you suspect and see which of them gets back to him.

Either way, if he doesn't approve of your lifestyle and won't tell you who it is... it's not looking good for him being with you much longer?

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By *weety321Woman
over a year ago

nottingham

"I’m not changing anything, I can deal with the consequences, it just fu.ks me off that someone on here doing the same as everyone else and probably has something to hide himself would do that"

Because they are saddo’s, they’re probably not getting much luck in vanilla life or on here...who knows

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well, I think you'll need to be paid up as a member to see the data of who's looked at your profile?

Then it's a case of leading a few people on with ideas and talk of things you've got planned or admissions of things you've supposedly done recently.

Think of all the cool rumours you'd actually like people to think of about you and you'll get a fringe benefit to your reputation too?

Narrow down to those that look at you repeatedly and live nearby...

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere

its..........Rebeca Vardy

Sorry op its a shitty thing for someone to do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dome nobheads

on here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't be seeing someone that had someone spying on me and not tell me who tbh... They are no friend

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By *quirt1810 OP Woman
over a year ago

Boston

"I wouldn't be seeing someone that had someone spying on me and not tell me who tbh... They are no friend "

That’s exactly what I said when I told him goodbye lol

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By *carlettxWoman
over a year ago

Essex

"No I don’t know who it is but the vanilla person has confirmed it but won’t tell me who"

Are you sure the vanilla person isn’t really the person that’s on here themselves ??

I mean if they know it’s upset you why on earth would they not tell you who was doing this ?

Just my thoughts ....

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By *ig1gaz1Man
over a year ago

bradford

"The vanilla person is a guy ive been seeing, I’ve been 100% honest about what I do and obviously he doesn’t like it . It’s not him on here it’s a friend of his that’s on here. I just think it’s creepy and disgusting that someone on here who should understand about genuine swingers and the need for discretion could stoop that low "

The same could be said about yourself if your seeing someone in the vanila world should have gone incognitto.

So you could speak to your friends on here.

If it was other way around you ladies would be up in arms about it another man cheating ...

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By *exy penWoman
over a year ago

liverpool

I think your profile is great and your pictures are classy, so sod them and just enjoy what you do. It's no ones business if your on here your not hurting anyone so let it be there problem not yours.

Well that's what I think anyway.

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By *quirt1810 OP Woman
over a year ago

Boston

The same could be said about yourself if your seeing someone in the vanila world should have gone incognitto.

So you could speak to your friends on here.

If it was other way around you ladies would be up in arms about it another man cheating ... "

I’m not cheating, I might be a swinger but that doesn’t make me a whore. I was on fab before I met him, I told him straight away and he said he could handle it. I also said I didn’t think I could be so understanding if roles were reversed. He had no need to spy,

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By *quirt1810 OP Woman
over a year ago

Boston

"I think your profile is great and your pictures are classy, so sod them and just enjoy what you do. It's no ones business if your on here your not hurting anyone so let it be there problem not yours.

Well that's what I think anyway."

Ty for the support

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By *imon and saffyCouple
over a year ago

southampton

It's much more likely that the person who knows you're on here and doesn't like it is the person who's on here. The "friend" doesn't exist, he's trying to shame you into stopping which is coercive and controlling.

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By *quirt1810 OP Woman
over a year ago

Boston

Ty for all the replies, I did feel bad for putting him through it but he knew the score, he’s a grown man and made his own decisions. However it’s irrelevant now as I’ve told him goodbye

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By *ebjonnsonMan
over a year ago

Maldon

"Don't put any statuses up and consider that your vanilla friend might have joined fab to look at your profile."

That’s the most likely thing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I wouldn't be seeing someone that had someone spying on me and not tell me who tbh... They are no friend

That’s exactly what I said when I told him goodbye lol"

Good on ya gal!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Are you sure it's not the vanilla who is also the "spy"

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By *quirt1810 OP Woman
over a year ago

Boston

"Are you sure it's not the vanilla who is also the "spy""

Definitely not, I have a name now although not profile name

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By *quirt1810 OP Woman
over a year ago

Boston

I’ve put the shout out to the spy that I might just tell his other half he’s on here, I’d never do that but wouldn’t hurt him to squirm a bit lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’ve put the shout out to the spy that I might just tell his other half he’s on here, I’d never do that but wouldn’t hurt him to squirm a bit lol"

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By *rK MrsJCouple
over a year ago

Kidderminster

"I’m not changing anything, I can deal with the consequences, it just fu.ks me off that someone on here doing the same as everyone else and probably has something to hide himself would do that"

Probably someone you've said no to and is married without partner knowing they are on fab.

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By *aturasqCouple
over a year ago

Hertfordshire

"Ty for all the replies, I did feel bad for putting him through it but he knew the score, he’s a grown man and made his own decisions. However it’s irrelevant now as I’ve told him goodbye"

Well done he should have told the “spy” to get lost in the first place and then supported you .

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

"I’m not changing anything, I can deal with the consequences, it just fu.ks me off that someone on here doing the same as everyone else and probably has something to hide himself would do that"

You could tell one of his vanilla friends, what's sauce for the goose....

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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago

ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL

And if the guy you are seeing won't back you up, I would question if he's good enough for you.

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By *oldyoudown41Man
over a year ago

caledonian

"Someone on this site is reporting everything I do to someone in the vanilla world, apart from deleting my account what can I do?"

It could be your friend, sorry to say ... if not get he’s legs broken and see what happens after

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By *quirt1810 OP Woman
over a year ago

Boston

"And if the guy you are seeing won't back you up, I would question if he's good enough for you. "
I think it was him that asked the guy to spy. But you’re right and I’ve got rid

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By *xhib12Man
over a year ago

Blyth

Shitty thing for anyone to do but you've done the right thing and binned him.i agree that he's probably put his friend up to spying on you which is why he wouldn't, or couldn't, tell you who it was.

I think to move on you may need to fight fire with fire so a threat to let his wife know may be enough to get him to back off.

You also need to block any profile within a distance you think he may be using. He could set up a new one but the threat of outing him should be enough.

Good luck, I hope it all works out for you. X

And for the record, your pics are great

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By *rFunBoyMan
over a year ago

Longridge

Go to the police, there is a case for harassment and sexual victimisation to answer..

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By *rFunBoyMan
over a year ago

Longridge

"I’ve put the shout out to the spy that I might just tell his other half he’s on here, I’d never do that but wouldn’t hurt him to squirm a bit lol"

Just hope he aint reading this thread.. as you "wont carry it out".. so he knows he is safe..

Dont give the game away in a public forum..

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By *quirt1810 OP Woman
over a year ago

Boston

"I’ve put the shout out to the spy that I might just tell his other half he’s on here, I’d never do that but wouldn’t hurt him to squirm a bit lol

Just hope he aint reading this thread.. as you "wont carry it out".. so he knows he is safe..

Dont give the game away in a public forum.."

Fair point but the option is always there

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would brave it out its your life your body up to you how you want to enjoy it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some people are low like that even lower but dont let that change you who are...f...them and keep enjoying life stalkers are probably living on moms basement..nothing to.

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

"No I don’t know who it is but the vanilla person has confirmed it but won’t tell me who"

Could it be the vanilla person doing it and pretending someone is telling them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you don't break any rules or laws why worry people can report all they like but if you haven't done anything wrong why worry about it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

move your pics to friends only change the location on your profile and remove any recently added friends and then change the username, I think you are allowed to change your username once.

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