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self worth and self body image

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By *herryblossom_BJ OP   Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

Sex with another person can really expose you physically and mentally. But how does a person build that self confidence to allow another to pleasure them?

Like for me, I hate being naked in front of my lovers and really happy to have sex in the dark. Took me years to feel confident in the light. Love to hear people's thoughts and experiences on this sensitive subject.

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By *aven RedWoman
over a year ago

Liverpool

I've had body image issues for years. My ex called me fat, ugly and boring for a long, long time. Said no one would ever be interested in me. When I look in a mirror I still sometimes hear his voice saying this to me. Not as much now as it was though. We've been separated now for just over 2 1/2 years and it's been a long process for me to accept and love myself. I still struggle a lot being naked. I have A LOT of pics on my profile for me, to see how others see me and not what I feel I look like. You are a beautiful woman who knows what she wants. Know your worth. (Sorry for the essay) x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've had body image issues for years. My ex called me fat, ugly and boring for a long, long time. Said no one would ever be interested in me. When I look in a mirror I still sometimes hear his voice saying this to me. Not as much now as it was though. We've been separated now for just over 2 1/2 years and it's been a long process for me to accept and love myself. I still struggle a lot being naked. I have A LOT of pics on my profile for me, to see how others see me and not what I feel I look like. You are a beautiful woman who knows what she wants. Know your worth. (Sorry for the essay) x"

Similar issues with bullies at school and in later employment. Im still not keen on being naked

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I learnt to accept my body as it was because it was one less mental battle to face...

I'd always been bullied for being fat at high school even though I wasn't (5'5 and and a dress size 8/10 - I'd just developed earlier than a lot of other girls), so I got in the mind set that if someone wanted to judge me on the size of my body rather than seeing who I was as a person that's their problem.

I'm well aware I'm of the curvier persuasion now but I am who I am. Men either enjoy my curves or move on.

Took me a lot to get to that point, wasn't an easy journey but I did it.

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By *uriousscouserWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

For me the first moments naked are incredibly embarrassing and awkward because a part of me is truthfully expecting him to change his mind when faced with the heap of lard that is me in my naked glory.

Assuming he doesn't start pulling clothes back on, or fake a phone call that means he has to leave straight away, I'm never so bothered again and I vastly prefer having sex with the lights on or in the day with the curtains open and light streaming into the room.

I do feel your nervousness though, and the only way I've found through it is to just square my shoulders and plough through the moment, knowing once I've got through it all will be well.

Sorry, not a very helpful trick there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have realised i deserve more. Ui was bullied all through school and am still bullied by my own parents.

When my mum first found out about us swinging..she said what someone actually wants to play with you???

I did lose all the weight (i lost just over 5 stones) and still wasn't happy with how i looked. Have subsequently put it all back on. I still have compliments on here and am slowly beginning to believe them

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

Great question ! Showing your own vulnerability often makes the other person feel more at ease because I guess deep down you’re thinking they’re perfect , I’m not. Also, sometimes you just have that connection/chemistry and say fuck it, and it’s so worth it. And then the next time, you remember it wasn’t so bad

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By *ccasional2Couple
over a year ago

Killarney

Wow thank you all for sharing your story's. You are all beautiful. My much better half is similar in alot of ways. Men look at her and see a beautiful sexy woman she always needs persuading. I think none of us are 100% happy in our own skin, with me it's my hight only around 5"3 and as I have gotten older I have a bit of a belly. However as I get older I realise there is nothing I can do about the hight and I enjoy my food and let people like me for who I am

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By *ersnickety PantsWoman
over a year ago

Club Meets Only

I tend to make sure they have a few shots, I always look better when they've got their beer goggles on

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By *arl17Man
over a year ago

Central Portugal


"Sex with another person can really expose you physically and mentally. But how does a person build that self confidence to allow another to pleasure them?

Like for me, I hate being naked in front of my lovers and really happy to have sex in the dark. Took me years to feel confident in the light. Love to hear people's thoughts and experiences on this sensitive subject. "

Any bloke that doesn’t say the same is probably lying... enjoy life as its far to short to worry about trivial crap xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My ex hubby was mentally abusive to me for 17 years.. been separated 3 and a half years.. i was a size 22 now im a size 16 and never felt so sexy as i do now ..my fuck buddy of 17 months built my confidence up which i will always owe him alot for. Im more than happy to strip naked..my body is my temple ..took me nearly 25 years to think like that though x

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By *herryblossom_BJ OP   Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire


"Sex with another person can really expose you physically and mentally. But how does a person build that self confidence to allow another to pleasure them?

Like for me, I hate being naked in front of my lovers and really happy to have sex in the dark. Took me years to feel confident in the light. Love to hear people's thoughts and experiences on this sensitive subject.

Any bloke that doesn’t say the same is probably lying... enjoy life as its far to short to worry about trivial crap xx"

Sure life is definitely too short but building inner confidence isn't something you can just think

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have hated my body for most of my life, even when I see pics where I was a lot smaller than I am now, a lot of comments over the years about my weight took it's toll. When I joined here first I met a guy and we became FWB, I remember after about 8 months had got up and dressed for work in front of him and he commented, "to think when we first met you would not have done that" so my body confidence has improved somewhat.

Every now and than a snide remarks or message will knock me but the way I see it I have fat if I want to lose it I can, but I'm a good person and can't change nasty people.

Slowly learning to accept my body and love it,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wish I knew, I feel very much the same as you OP. I've had body image issues since I was around 13 and I've struggled with an eating disorder since (thankfully recovered over the last few years)

My first boyfriend used to compare me to pornstars, why wasn't I thinner, my boobs bigger, my vulva different etc.

It took a huge toll on my self esteem and even now, when having sex with someone new, I always expect they'll change their mind when they see me naked. Though that's never actually happened.

My husband is great, he always tells me how beautiful I am and how sexy he finds me etc. I just wish I believed it too.

If you ever find a cure for this, do share it, I'm sure lots of people would be grateful.

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By *JohnMan
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

I still have a lot of trouble believing that anyone could want to have anything to do with me. Despite repeated evidence. I used to be extremely body-conscious, and would never want anyone to see me even just shirtless (in public, I still do my best to hide).

Fortunately that hasn't been a problem with sexual partners. I like having the lights on, because I like to see my partner. It's partly knowing that if they've got me in the bedroom they can't have too much of a problem with me, and also it's the big brain switching off when the little brain wakes up.

Somehow it has never been a problem in the club. No problem getting naked there. Perhaps that's because everyone else is, and I don't get that paranoid feeling that everyone's looking at me and judging. I don't know. The club just feels safe.

Whenever these negative thoughts bubble up in your mind, remind yourself of times when someone has been very happy to be naked with you. Those thoughts are self-doubt, not reality. Go out of your way to create those memories. Find a place that you feel safe and get naked with people who want to be naked with you. They're there because they like you and your body.

Find things about yourself to be proud of. If someone comments positively on one part of your body, take that as a positive. Don't let it turn negative - "you like my boobs? Why don't you like my bum? You must think it's too big. I knew it, my bum is hideous" sounds ridiculous, but it's the way the brain can work for those of us with self-esteem problems. If you catch yourself sliding into a negative path like this, stop it. It is ridiculous. They like your boobs.

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By *adMerWoman
over a year ago

Sandwich

I have always been called fat since school, although back then I wasn’t. I was just better nourished than a lot of my classmates.

Most of my adult life I have been overweight and I still am despite having lost over 6 stone. There’s parts of my body I would happily change if I had the money for surgery, but I don’t so I have to accept it.

I used to work for Ann Summers many years ago and this made me realise that even women that I thought looked pretty darn perfect had issues with their bodies sadly.

I really don’t have a problem with getting naked though. If someone fancies you with your clothes on, they aren’t going to run away in horror when you take them off. Far from it!

I also try to focus on the parts of me that I like when I look in the mirror rather than the bits I don’t.

I really wish I could give all you lovely ladies some of the confidence I have because you are all gorgeous!

Sir Norman Wisdom said that he used to pretend to be happy and smile even when he wasn’t and eventually he would become happier again. Fake it til you make it x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have realised i deserve more. Ui was bullied all through school and am still bullied by my own parents.

When my mum first found out about us swinging..she said what someone actually wants to play with you???

I did lose all the weight (i lost just over 5 stones) and still wasn't happy with how i looked. Have subsequently put it all back on. I still have compliments on here and am slowly beginning to believe them"

The parent 'thing'

Mine were similar!

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By *orkspoonMan
over a year ago

nearby

For me it is the opposite - getting naked with someone means that the focus is away from me and my issues about myself personality wise. Being me mentally is more my hang up

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By *herryblossom_BJ OP   Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire


"I have always been called fat since school, although back then I wasn’t. I was just better nourished than a lot of my classmates.

Most of my adult life I have been overweight and I still am despite having lost over 6 stone. There’s parts of my body I would happily change if I had the money for surgery, but I don’t so I have to accept it.

I used to work for Ann Summers many years ago and this made me realise that even women that I thought looked pretty darn perfect had issues with their bodies sadly.

I really don’t have a problem with getting naked though. If someone fancies you with your clothes on, they aren’t going to run away in horror when you take them off. Far from it!

I also try to focus on the parts of me that I like when I look in the mirror rather than the bits I don’t.

I really wish I could give all you lovely ladies some of the confidence I have because you are all gorgeous!

Sir Norman Wisdom said that he used to pretend to be happy and smile even when he wasn’t and eventually he would become happier again. Fake it til you make it x"

fake it until you make it is brilliant attitude.. mind over matter such a powerful tool Thanks for sharing, I know its a very sensitive subject. I released my own demons talking about this to bunch of strangers but it's been liberating

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was once told that if a man has an erection he fancies you it’s as simple as that!

It’s not that simple, but for all the men who don’t like a big girl- there are plenty who do. It’s taken me to get into my 40’s to say I really don’t care- those that want me matter and those that don’t don’t matter.

I am a sexual woman and I allow that to shine through. My body is far from perfect But it’s mine and if I choose to share it it’s because I know that person is worth it. You’d be surprised how many people just don’t see the physical stuff and are attracted to you as a person. All bodies are amazing, being confident is about telling yourself you are worth it and believe it!

The rest will follow

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By *ornyhappyCouple
over a year ago

perth

It's something that I have struggled with since my teens, spent many years not being able to look in mirrors, hiding my body under baggy clothes and avoiding being in photos. It has taken a long time, & some pretty major life events, for me to learn to accept myself and feel comfortable in my own skin, I still have moments where I slip back into my old mindset but I refuse to stay there.

K

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By *herryblossom_BJ OP   Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire


"I was once told that if a man has an erection he fancies you it’s as simple as that!

It’s not that simple, but for all the men who don’t like a big girl- there are plenty who do. It’s taken me to get into my 40’s to say I really don’t care- those that want me matter and those that don’t don’t matter.

I am a sexual woman and I allow that to shine through. My body is far from perfect But it’s mine and if I choose to share it it’s because I know that person is worth it. You’d be surprised how many people just don’t see the physical stuff and are attracted to you as a person. All bodies are amazing, being confident is about telling yourself you are worth it and believe it!

The rest will follow"

yes definitely age teaches you to be more accepting of your own body confidence. But knock backs/bad experiences can bring you back to the dark thoughts. CRB therapy is quick and effective to destroy them body demons. Surrounding yourself with positive people helps too

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By *herryblossom_BJ OP   Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire


"I was once told that if a man has an erection he fancies you it’s as simple as that!

It’s not that simple, but for all the men who don’t like a big girl- there are plenty who do. It’s taken me to get into my 40’s to say I really don’t care- those that want me matter and those that don’t don’t matter.

I am a sexual woman and I allow that to shine through. My body is far from perfect But it’s mine and if I choose to share it it’s because I know that person is worth it. You’d be surprised how many people just don’t see the physical stuff and are attracted to you as a person. All bodies are amazing, being confident is about telling yourself you are worth it and believe it!

The rest will follow"

thankfully as humans we all like different things and people. there's someone out there for everyone and feeling inner body confidence is so important

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By *omerset tvTV/TS
over a year ago

Weston-super-Mare

I had a few meets in my male profile on here and a couple women said my cock was bit small even though i class it as average that as a man knocks your confidence hell of a lot. So when i dress on this profile i like to wear a cock cage and that gives you a confidence boost and when im all dressed up i feel so different with make up on etc and get some really nice comments when i go on cam which lifts your spirits tremendously

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By *herryblossom_BJ OP   Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire


"I had a few meets in my male profile on here and a couple women said my cock was bit small even though i class it as average that as a man knocks your confidence hell of a lot. So when i dress on this profile i like to wear a cock cage and that gives you a confidence boost and when im all dressed up i feel so different with make up on etc and get some really nice comments when i go on cam which lifts your spirits tremendously "

i often read women's comments asking for average cock size. so i assumed most women prefer average. cock cages meant to be great for orgasms

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have always been on the bigger side, and never into sports due to a problem with my hips and spine. It took me a long time to embrace my body the way it is, and I only managed to survive school well because I was a brainiac- it was a good thing where I was.

My bottom was my biggest hate until I started dating, as men really liked it. But the actual mindset transformation happened when I started going to swingers clubs and realised people of all shapes and sizes are welcome there (at least in the clubs I've been to) and can have good time.

It does help to have a supportive partner, but if you're not accepting your body, people can tell you how good you look till they're blue in the face yet you're not going to believe them.

Very recently, I have gone one step further, allowed my partner to talk me into joining our local nudist club. It was a bit scary at first, the idea of being naked in front of all those people, but it actually felt awkward being dressed lol.

Bottom line: embrace how you look, accept your body and don't worry what others think.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I guess this is probably one of the big reasons I’m here.

I still have body confidence issues and dont believe that anyone genuinely finds me attractive more than just a means to an end if that makes sense?

But like with all the challengers I’ve faced in my life, the way I tend to deal with them is to go headlong into it and jump in the deep end and nothing does that better than walking into a meet and throwing care to the wind.

Probably doesn’t make much sense but then I tend not to most of the time anyway lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I guess this is probably one of the big reasons I’m here.

I still have body confidence issues and dont believe that anyone genuinely finds me attractive more than just a means to an end if that makes sense?

But like with all the challengers I’ve faced in my life, the way I tend to deal with them is to go headlong into it and jump in the deep end and nothing does that better than walking into a meet and throwing care to the wind.

Probably doesn’t make much sense but then I tend not to most of the time anyway lol "

You’ve a lovely body and face- you should be proud of that xx

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By *rcadian110Couple
over a year ago

Barnsley


"I guess this is probably one of the big reasons I’m here.

I still have body confidence issues and dont believe that anyone genuinely finds me attractive more than just a means to an end if that makes sense?

But like with all the challengers I’ve faced in my life, the way I tend to deal with them is to go headlong into it and jump in the deep end and nothing does that better than walking into a meet and throwing care to the wind.

Probably doesn’t make much sense but then I tend not to most of the time anyway lol "

If we met you in a club we would definitely be Interested. Those eyes are beautiful and that smile is infectious. Plus you look like you could hold a good fun Conversation. The fact that the rest of you is beautiful as well would just be a bonus

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thank you both, it’s something that I guess I’ll always struggle with ( especially with a bit of lockdown weight to get rid off ) but playing and meeting definitely does help with it

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By *rcadian110Couple
over a year ago

Barnsley


"Thank you both, it’s something that I guess I’ll always struggle with ( especially with a bit of lockdown weight to get rid off ) but playing and meeting definitely does help with it "

There is nothing to thank us for. You are a beautiful woman ??

Rhiannon struggles with her confidence as I've said in a previous forum. I personally think she's amazing but those deamons who whisper different in your ear are really hard to shut up.

Being a bigger bloke it's taken us coming into the lifestyle to shake my own self image issues. Now if someone says they like us both I know it's becaus they like the look of who we are and it's not just shallow. That makes things so much better. I really hope you can see yourself as others do eventually. I think if you looked around at the looks you might get in clubs it might surprise you.

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By *aughty_builder87Man
over a year ago

Keston

Body issues is something I always faced not so much as my own opinion of my self but more what others think about me. I fluctuate between 11 and 15 stone depending on my situation. Currently I'm 14st 12 due to a combination of lockdown and being happy with where I am in my life. But in times when I feel unattractive I crash diet and get down to 11-12st. As we are now moving back out of lockdown and I want to get back into the swinging scene when it is fully safe to do so I have started a diet again. I dont personally care too much but I know when I'm slimmer I get a better reaction.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I (Mrs) struggle hugely, or at least I have done most of my adult life. Meeting my other half was one of the most freeing and liberating experiences of my life and finally I understand that my worth is not a number on a set of scales. He's taught me to love and accept myself a little more. Sure I still have wobbles (no pun intended) but for the most part I know that my desirability, sexuality and attractiveness aren't defined by my size.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’d say is the exposure to vulnerability that gives us confidence. The more your able to open up through being vulnerable. The greater the honesty to have towards yourself. That goes to both parties.

Taking a risk is like jumping off the Grand Canyon with a dodgy bungee cord. It worked for the pervious person, let’s hope it works for me.

If you come back up or satay down isn’t really the point. It’s that injected of, how do I put this, not knowing what’s going to happen next but being okay with it. Is what build confidence.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve struggled with confidence for many years, developed issues when I was 13, so being called fat on my images on public forums really knocked me, but when a woman recently messaged me on here just to call me it, I found it amusing. I know I’m not tiny, far too many wobbly bits, but Inked has been amazingly supportive of my body confidence issues. He helps me see himself through his eyes, and it’s that support that’s meant I’ve found the confidence to meet others, and chatting to them

we all have our hang ups.

Put a bit of weight on since lockdown and that would have made me feel unattractive in the past, but being on here has actually improved my confidence. I’m comfortable naked in front of other women, but having him by my side probably helps. I’m a lucky lady- and I don’t look too bad naked in heels, haha x Viv x

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By *ustKeepSwinging999Couple
over a year ago

Basingstoke

I've had body issues since hitting my teens. I attended an all girl's high school where I was fully aware that I was a largier, frumpier girl. Roll on to a bf at uni saying "why can't you look like her?" whilst pointing out a slimmer girl. An ex spent years calling me Shamu (the whale). And the media pressures... Thankfully that's changing. I love browsing asos curve range and seeing models with stretch marks, or an extra curve that isn't photoshopped out. And the availability now of plus size erotic wear is so good!

I like the anonymity of club meets - there's no opportunity for them to comment on my figure or outfit. I try to embrace the curves, and love the skin I'm in. But years of self hate and body dismorphia aren't easy to overcome.

H x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've had body issues since hitting my teens. I attended an all girl's high school where I was fully aware that I was a largier, frumpier girl. Roll on to a bf at uni saying "why can't you look like her?" whilst pointing out a slimmer girl. An ex spent years calling me Shamu (the whale). And the media pressures... Thankfully that's changing. I love browsing asos curve range and seeing models with stretch marks, or an extra curve that isn't photoshopped out. And the availability now of plus size erotic wear is so good!

I like the anonymity of club meets - there's no opportunity for them to comment on my figure or outfit. I try to embrace the curves, and love the skin I'm in. But years of self hate and body dismorphia aren't easy to overcome.

H x"

They’re not, but so glad you’re getting there. Don’t think I’ve met a woman who doesn’t have issues.

Have you tried Pretty Little Thing? My daughter is plus size and the plus size clothing range is fantastic. Clothing to suit teens to older, but flattering, sexy as hell, and embracing the curves x

Viv x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I still have a lot of trouble believing that anyone could want to have anything to do with me. Despite repeated evidence. I used to be extremely body-conscious, and would never want anyone to see me even just shirtless (in public, I still do my best to hide).

Fortunately that hasn't been a problem with sexual partners. I like having the lights on, because I like to see my partner. It's partly knowing that if they've got me in the bedroom they can't have too much of a problem with me, and also it's the big brain switching off when the little brain wakes up.

Somehow it has never been a problem in the club. No problem getting naked there. Perhaps that's because everyone else is, and I don't get that paranoid feeling that everyone's looking at me and judging. I don't know. The club just feels safe.

Whenever these negative thoughts bubble up in your mind, remind yourself of times when someone has been very happy to be naked with you. Those thoughts are self-doubt, not reality. Go out of your way to create those memories. Find a place that you feel safe and get naked with people who want to be naked with you. They're there because they like you and your body.

Find things about yourself to be proud of. If someone comments positively on one part of your body, take that as a positive. Don't let it turn negative - "you like my boobs? Why don't you like my bum? You must think it's too big. I knew it, my bum is hideous" sounds ridiculous, but it's the way the brain can work for those of us with self-esteem problems. If you catch yourself sliding into a negative path like this, stop it. It is ridiculous. They like your boobs."

I love this x

It’s true !

I so want to be like this

But I’m struggling because I’m newly trying to get used to a new body after surgery ruined it literally overnight so I haven’t had the experience of new people yet and can only compare my old body to the new one

I Now have saggy body skin that can’t be fixed ( I’ve asked ) and when people message saying how they think I will look I feel deflated at what the reaction may be in reality .

. It’s really hard to go instantly into to a different body and hate it .

I look fine in clothes and that makes me feel that my naked body would be a disappointment and this steals my confidence and makes me less likely to full on go for it like before when I felt like a confident woman .

I really want to feel like the Old me X

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By *ndy64hMan
over a year ago

Plymouth

A lot of this is to do without how we believe we are perceived by other people. That perception comes mostly from the media, whether advertising beauty products, selling clothes, cars, anything, diets, healthy living. Magazines and newspapers continually showing glamorous women and men.

We become convinced that people seeing us naked would ridicule our body.

Whether you are happy with your body, or worry about how others perceive you, never be ashamed about how you look, because that only harms you.

Love your body, warts and all, don't worry about what others think, if they can't handle it, they ain't worth it.

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By *ootballFlowerCouple
over a year ago

Ollerton

Male half here. I had very serious image issues - not the size of my body (I dont like being a chunky monkey but it is what I am for now) but I have a very large port wine birthmark. It covers about 50% of my upper body including my whole right arm.

Until we entered the swinging world I hated my image, I wouldnt even have a photo taken with my arm in shot, let alone without a t-shirt on. Now having spent time naked with others and also attending clubs (Chams especially) I honestly dont care about it - genuinely and truly it has changed my me and how I feel.

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By *herryblossom_BJ OP   Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire


"I still have a lot of trouble believing that anyone could want to have anything to do with me. Despite repeated evidence. I used to be extremely body-conscious, and would never want anyone to see me even just shirtless (in public, I still do my best to hide).

Fortunately that hasn't been a problem with sexual partners. I like having the lights on, because I like to see my partner. It's partly knowing that if they've got me in the bedroom they can't have too much of a problem with me, and also it's the big brain switching off when the little brain wakes up.

Somehow it has never been a problem in the club. No problem getting naked there. Perhaps that's because everyone else is, and I don't get that paranoid feeling that everyone's looking at me and judging. I don't know. The club just feels safe.

Whenever these negative thoughts bubble up in your mind, remind yourself of times when someone has been very happy to be naked with you. Those thoughts are self-doubt, not reality. Go out of your way to create those memories. Find a place that you feel safe and get naked with people who want to be naked with you. They're there because they like you and your body.

Find things about yourself to be proud of. If someone comments positively on one part of your body, take that as a positive. Don't let it turn negative - "you like my boobs? Why don't you like my bum? You must think it's too big. I knew it, my bum is hideous" sounds ridiculous, but it's the way the brain can work for those of us with self-esteem problems. If you catch yourself sliding into a negative path like this, stop it. It is ridiculous. They like your boobs.

I love this x

It’s true !

I so want to be like this

But I’m struggling because I’m newly trying to get used to a new body after surgery ruined it literally overnight so I haven’t had the experience of new people yet and can only compare my old body to the new one

I Now have saggy body skin that can’t be fixed ( I’ve asked ) and when people message saying how they think I will look I feel deflated at what the reaction may be in reality .

. It’s really hard to go instantly into to a different body and hate it .

I look fine in clothes and that makes me feel that my naked body would be a disappointment and this steals my confidence and makes me less likely to full on go for it like before when I felt like a confident woman .

I really want to feel like the Old me X

"

so would you go to a club fully clothed and played with people fully clothed? as that's what I am planning to do

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By *lscmnmytngMan
over a year ago

J13 of the M5

Being told you arent worthy of anyone is just a way o you being abused.

Its classic control methodology of an insecure or deeply neurotic person.

By abusing you they have control and you are "lucky to be with them".

These people often become verbally abusive, then physically abusive and worse.

If you encounter one, get out, you are worthy and they are just controlling idiots.

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By *JohnMan
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne


"It’s really hard to go instantly into to a different body and hate it."

I feel for you. I can't imagine what it's like but that has to be really hard. But please don't say "ruined". It's a different body to the one you're used to, and although I have no idea what you looked like before, or what you look like now, I'm sure the new you has a lot to like. You'll find things to like about yourself in time (especially if you look for them).

Others, not having the experience of that sudden change, will take you as you are now. They're going to be far less critical than you are. It's a shame we have this period of enforced intimacylessness, as jumping into bed with someone says "I think you're sexy" far more convincingly than anything online.

Changing your own perception has to come from inside, but I've found that's much easier when you can use others as evidence. If I tell myself that I'm not undesirable, it's not convincing. If I remind myself of times that other people have wanted to be with me, that eventually sinks in. Take the good, and hold on to it.

And I'm glad you're planning to go to a club, Jasmine. I hope your experience there is as good for you as mine was. Maybe with time it'll help you find the confidence to shed some of those clothes. And in the process you can have a lot of fun.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have always been on the bigger side, and never into sports due to a problem with my hips and spine. It took me a long time to embrace my body the way it is, and I only managed to survive school well because I was a brainiac- it was a good thing where I was.

My bottom was my biggest hate until I started dating, as men really liked it. But the actual mindset transformation happened when I started going to swingers clubs and realised people of all shapes and sizes are welcome there (at least in the clubs I've been to) and can have good time.

It does help to have a supportive partner, but if you're not accepting your body, people can tell you how good you look till they're blue in the face yet you're not going to believe them.

Very recently, I have gone one step further, allowed my partner to talk me into joining our local nudist club. It was a bit scary at first, the idea of being naked in front of all those people, but it actually felt awkward being dressed lol.

Bottom line: embrace how you look, accept your body and don't worry what others think. "

I can’t wait for this to sink in with me xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I still have a lot of trouble believing that anyone could want to have anything to do with me. Despite repeated evidence. I used to be extremely body-conscious, and would never want anyone to see me even just shirtless (in public, I still do my best to hide).

Fortunately that hasn't been a problem with sexual partners. I like having the lights on, because I like to see my partner. It's partly knowing that if they've got me in the bedroom they can't have too much of a problem with me, and also it's the big brain switching off when the little brain wakes up.

Somehow it has never been a problem in the club. No problem getting naked there. Perhaps that's because everyone else is, and I don't get that paranoid feeling that everyone's looking at me and judging. I don't know. The club just feels safe.

Whenever these negative thoughts bubble up in your mind, remind yourself of times when someone has been very happy to be naked with you. Those thoughts are self-doubt, not reality. Go out of your way to create those memories. Find a place that you feel safe and get naked with people who want to be naked with you. They're there because they like you and your body.

Find things about yourself to be proud of. If someone comments positively on one part of your body, take that as a positive. Don't let it turn negative - "you like my boobs? Why don't you like my bum? You must think it's too big. I knew it, my bum is hideous" sounds ridiculous, but it's the way the brain can work for those of us with self-esteem problems. If you catch yourself sliding into a negative path like this, stop it. It is ridiculous. They like your boobs.

I love this x

It’s true !

I so want to be like this

But I’m struggling because I’m newly trying to get used to a new body after surgery ruined it literally overnight so I haven’t had the experience of new people yet and can only compare my old body to the new one

I Now have saggy body skin that can’t be fixed ( I’ve asked ) and when people message saying how they think I will look I feel deflated at what the reaction may be in reality .

. It’s really hard to go instantly into to a different body and hate it .

I look fine in clothes and that makes me feel that my naked body would be a disappointment and this steals my confidence and makes me less likely to full on go for it like before when I felt like a confident woman .

I really want to feel like the Old me X

so would you go to a club fully clothed and played with people fully clothed? as that's what I am planning to do "

Lol

No because it’s not going to feel so sexy that way

But maybe I’d have to start wearing stuff around the middle and not removing all clothes etc x

You look amazing tbh !

But no one can change our heads unless we do can they ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Quite a few upsetting posts on here, everyone should feel confident in their own skin. None of you have anything to be ashamed off, only those that judge are ugly!

I personally found stripping off at a dress down club, liberating. Now I couldn’t care less being naked! The club I attend, people don’t judge... size, sex, age anything and this helped me be more liberal. We all have hangs ups, be it body size, shape, etc and makes have it equally as bad. We’re subconscious about size of our manhood! Why??? Most women aren’t!! And that’s the thing, at the club, people don’t care about the exterior as such, it’s you that matters..

Be nice people, staty safe and have fun

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good post OP. I thought I was the only one with body and confidence issues, because to me you all come across confident and content with yourselves online.

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By *parkle1974Woman
over a year ago

Leeds

I don't think I will ever have the confidence to be fully naked with someone after years of mental abuse.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

After having a perv at all the pics of ladies posting here I can honestly say none of you should have issues your all beautiful and any guy would be lucky to meet any of you..

don’t listen to bad people they only trying to make up for there own insecurities..

Your all Gorguse xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It’s really hard to go instantly into to a different body and hate it.

I feel for you. I can't imagine what it's like but that has to be really hard. But please don't say "ruined". It's a different body to the one you're used to, and although I have no idea what you looked like before, or what you look like now, I'm sure the new you has a lot to like. You'll find things to like about yourself in time (especially if you look for them).

Others, not having the experience of that sudden change, will take you as you are now. They're going to be far less critical than you are. It's a shame we have this period of enforced intimacylessness, as jumping into bed with someone says "I think you're sexy" far more convincingly than anything online.

Changing your own perception has to come from inside, but I've found that's much easier when you can use others as evidence. If I tell myself that I'm not undesirable, it's not convincing. If I remind myself of times that other people have wanted to be with me, that eventually sinks in. Take the good, and hold on to it.

And I'm glad you're planning to go to a club, Jasmine. I hope your experience there is as good for you as mine was. Maybe with time it'll help you find the confidence to shed some of those clothes. And in the process you can have a lot of fun."

This is lovely

Thank you

And yes I agree about the current situation of no intimacy but I’m kinda worried about taking that first step again x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Quite a few upsetting posts on here, everyone should feel confident in their own skin. None of you have anything to be ashamed off, only those that judge are ugly!

I personally found stripping off at a dress down club, liberating. Now I couldn’t care less being naked! The club I attend, people don’t judge... size, sex, age anything and this helped me be more liberal. We all have hangs ups, be it body size, shape, etc and makes have it equally as bad. We’re subconscious about size of our manhood! Why??? Most women aren’t!! And that’s the thing, at the club, people don’t care about the exterior as such, it’s you that matters..

Be nice people, staty safe and have fun "

This is all true but it’s not so much that anyone would judge me or say anything

It’s more about wanting to actually feel desired for what I look like now too

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By *abonWoman
over a year ago

L’boro/Ashby & Cheltenham

There’s some great advice on here.

My personal thoughts on it - the journey I took - was that I didn’t start to fully embrace my body and sexuality until I started accepting and being happy with the person I am. It’s been a journey of listening to my intuition, finding my voice, supporting and challenging my self, and being vulnerable with people I trust. My confidence has grown as I embrace the life that *I* want to live.

And yes, I am tall & slim with boobs, so you might think it’s been an easier journey. But I was hideously bullied for my height, being a ‘skeleton‘, wearing glasses, and unwanted male attention focused on my boobs from an early age.

I also think it’s also validating yourself, catching that critical voice, and not needing it from others. There’s always people who will find you stunning or ugly...and being swayed by them takes your power away.

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham


"There’s some great advice on here.

My personal thoughts on it - the journey I took - was that I didn’t start to fully embrace my body and sexuality until I started accepting and being happy with the person I am. It’s been a journey of listening to my intuition, finding my voice, supporting and challenging my self, and being vulnerable with people I trust. My confidence has grown as I embrace the life that *I* want to live.

And yes, I am tall & slim with boobs, so you might think it’s been an easier journey. But I was hideously bullied for my height, being a ‘skeleton‘, wearing glasses, and unwanted male attention focused on my boobs from an early age.

I also think it’s also validating yourself, catching that critical voice, and not needing it from others. There’s always people who will find you stunning or ugly...and being swayed by them takes your power away.

"

Great advice. Telling someone “your gorgeous babe” doesn’t really help does it ? Just reinforces your value is based on things you cannot change. I tell my girls they are great people, kind , generous, things they are in control of and put the effort in

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By *herryblossom_BJ OP   Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire


"There’s some great advice on here.

My personal thoughts on it - the journey I took - was that I didn’t start to fully embrace my body and sexuality until I started accepting and being happy with the person I am. It’s been a journey of listening to my intuition, finding my voice, supporting and challenging my self, and being vulnerable with people I trust. My confidence has grown as I embrace the life that *I* want to live.

And yes, I am tall & slim with boobs, so you might think it’s been an easier journey. But I was hideously bullied for my height, being a ‘skeleton‘, wearing glasses, and unwanted male attention focused on my boobs from an early age.

I also think it’s also validating yourself, catching that critical voice, and not needing it from others. There’s always people who will find you stunning or ugly...and being swayed by them takes your power away.

"

i was bullied at school for just being Asian as foreigners were very few and far between in the 80s

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By *herryblossom_BJ OP   Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire


"There’s some great advice on here.

My personal thoughts on it - the journey I took - was that I didn’t start to fully embrace my body and sexuality until I started accepting and being happy with the person I am. It’s been a journey of listening to my intuition, finding my voice, supporting and challenging my self, and being vulnerable with people I trust. My confidence has grown as I embrace the life that *I* want to live.

And yes, I am tall & slim with boobs, so you might think it’s been an easier journey. But I was hideously bullied for my height, being a ‘skeleton‘, wearing glasses, and unwanted male attention focused on my boobs from an early age.

I also think it’s also validating yourself, catching that critical voice, and not needing it from others. There’s always people who will find you stunning or ugly...and being swayed by them takes your power away.

Great advice. Telling someone “your gorgeous babe” doesn’t really help does it ? Just reinforces your value is based on things you cannot change. I tell my girls they are great people, kind , generous, things they are in control of and put the effort in "

I duno, the photos of before and after cosmetic surgery been very impressive. So you can change your looks. But yes focusing on attitude, personality and intelligence is way more productive but its only human nature wanting to be physically attractive and accepted by others

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By *abonWoman
over a year ago

L’boro/Ashby & Cheltenham


"There’s some great advice on here.

My personal thoughts on it - the journey I took - was that I didn’t start to fully embrace my body and sexuality until I started accepting and being happy with the person I am. It’s been a journey of listening to my intuition, finding my voice, supporting and challenging my self, and being vulnerable with people I trust. My confidence has grown as I embrace the life that *I* want to live.

And yes, I am tall & slim with boobs, so you might think it’s been an easier journey. But I was hideously bullied for my height, being a ‘skeleton‘, wearing glasses, and unwanted male attention focused on my boobs from an early age.

I also think it’s also validating yourself, catching that critical voice, and not needing it from others. There’s always people who will find you stunning or ugly...and being swayed by them takes your power away.

Great advice. Telling someone “your gorgeous babe” doesn’t really help does it ? Just reinforces your value is based on things you cannot change. I tell my girls they are great people, kind , generous, things they are in control of and put the effort in

I duno, the photos of before and after cosmetic surgery been very impressive. So you can change your looks. But yes focusing on attitude, personality and intelligence is way more productive but its only human nature wanting to be physically attractive and accepted by others"

‘Belonging’ totally is a human need...a survival instinct even. But - for me anyway - it feels deeper than physical attractiveness. The acceptance I crave comes from finding like-minded people who enjoy my company - and weird ways - and who I like back!!! I‘d feel very uncomfortable around people who I felt were ONLY with me because they liked how I looked.

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By *abonWoman
over a year ago

L’boro/Ashby & Cheltenham


"There’s some great advice on here.

My personal thoughts on it - the journey I took - was that I didn’t start to fully embrace my body and sexuality until I started accepting and being happy with the person I am. It’s been a journey of listening to my intuition, finding my voice, supporting and challenging my self, and being vulnerable with people I trust. My confidence has grown as I embrace the life that *I* want to live.

And yes, I am tall & slim with boobs, so you might think it’s been an easier journey. But I was hideously bullied for my height, being a ‘skeleton‘, wearing glasses, and unwanted male attention focused on my boobs from an early age.

I also think it’s also validating yourself, catching that critical voice, and not needing it from others. There’s always people who will find you stunning or ugly...and being swayed by them takes your power away.

i was bullied at school for just being Asian as foreigners were very few and far between in the 80s "

Schools are such hard places...that must have been really tough to try and deal with

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By *cloversCouple
over a year ago

Hull

As a young person I was slim & had fabulous boobs with a confidence that I carried well. Even though I've never been considered attractive I never had a problem having boyfriends.

Then I met my first husband - short story of constant mental abuse for 16 yrs & I was left a wreck of what I used to be & a whole lot bigger.

But I got out & thought I was worth nothing & would never meet anyone else but I did. He has worked for 20yrs putting me back together and loving me for me - lumps, bumps (still great boobs!) and all the other things I hate about myself.

I still hate my body.

Do I worry about being naked in front of other people? absolutely & probably always will be - i have that initial cringe & heart in my mouth moment when I feel I'm going to be appraised but I'm friendly, kind, thoughtful and all those other things that we need to be with each other.

Psychological connection is huge - if someone isn't those things back to me no matter how gorgeous or hung as they think they are - there is no way I want to do anything with them either.

What I have learnt is that we are our harshest critics and its very often ourselves that stop us moving on - thats not a criticism of anyone but an acknowledgement that who we see reflected in the mirror is not who other people see.. . .

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By *abonWoman
over a year ago

L’boro/Ashby & Cheltenham


"As a young person I was slim & had fabulous boobs with a confidence that I carried well. Even though I've never been considered attractive I never had a problem having boyfriends.

Then I met my first husband - short story of constant mental abuse for 16 yrs & I was left a wreck of what I used to be & a whole lot bigger.

But I got out & thought I was worth nothing & would never meet anyone else but I did. He has worked for 20yrs putting me back together and loving me for me - lumps, bumps (still great boobs!) and all the other things I hate about myself.

I still hate my body.

Do I worry about being naked in front of other people? absolutely & probably always will be - i have that initial cringe & heart in my mouth moment when I feel I'm going to be appraised but I'm friendly, kind, thoughtful and all those other things that we need to be with each other.

Psychological connection is huge - if someone isn't those things back to me no matter how gorgeous or hung as they think they are - there is no way I want to do anything with them either.

What I have learnt is that we are our harshest critics and its very often ourselves that stop us moving on - thats not a criticism of anyone but an acknowledgement that who we see reflected in the mirror is not who other people see.. . . "

That’s very true...long periods of trauma have a huge impact too. I’m glad you’ve found such a great connection with your partner

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm a chubby guy so I'm quite self conscious about my body image, harder with some people on here being insulting. Every partner has been fine with fun being done in the dark and such though and most people are kind.

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By *rcadian110Couple
over a year ago

Barnsley

I'm fat not chubby . I used to be fit an very toned and then I got Ill. My body confidence is almost zero and it's this community that's built me back up along with my amazing wife. Enough for me to dress as the happy glitter fairy at Halloween at asylum. Just boxers, tutu , wings and a halo. Lol. But it's also hurt when the couples we thing want to meet us both just want rhi and will "put up" with me. I'm a good guy with a good sense of humour and a stunning wife. Amazing how little the former can be worth

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wow... so sad reading how many lack confidence due to life experiences. All of which I can relate.

Toxic parent and bastard of an ex partner. Bullied continually throughout school. Took leaving my ex (18 years together) and some hard hitting home truths to myself to start my journey that brought me to now, this time and realising what is and isn’t important in life. Easy for me to say but I completely understand when I say ‘please don’t sweat the small stuff’ that the small stuff can be the biggest hurdles. When we truly embrace ourselves the small stuff can be exactly that!

I commented on another post that I think to be happy we have to accept who we are, lumps and bumps and embrace the good parts of our personality and work on the negative, it’s not an easy thing to do.

Few phrases I live by:

everyone is entitled to an opinion, doesn’t mean it’s right it’s only a persons right to have it.

What others think of you is none of your business.

Don’t give head space to those that don’t matter!

If people don’t like me, that’s fine because I like me!

And I’ll be me, I’ll not be who I’m not and if another doesn’t like something about me, that’s cool. Again that’s their right to have an opinion. I don’t need to take their thoughts on board!

Wish I could empower all with insecurities about their body to know.. happiness literally comes from within!

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By *illybare partyMan
over a year ago

norh east

I'm a fat bastard. Very aware of this I've been big since I was 15. Constantly tried to lose weight though different ways for years. It took my wife to make realise I'm not bad looking and try to lose weight slowly slowly. She is the reason I have confidence in myself and to cope with rejection. These days I know I'm pretty awesome. And don't let the trolls put you down

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why get naked at all? Lingerie and stockings can be kept on.

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By *orbidden eastMan
over a year ago

london dodging electric scooters


"Why get naked at all? Lingerie and stockings can be kept on. "

Umm yes. But I don’t think I look too good in those

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By *rcadian110Couple
over a year ago

Barnsley

[Removed by poster at 10/07/20 22:00:38]

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By *rcadian110Couple
over a year ago

Barnsley

I got the boobs but not the hips for lingerie lol

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By *ensualguy70TV/TS
over a year ago

paisley

i used to get ridiculed for being ginger when i was younger, me and girlfriends at school was non existent, stripping off for the showers during P.E at school was a nightmare, being the only ginger guy there i was embarrased as hell.

However most women still prefer the tall dark and handsome fellas so im down the pecking order lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've had body image issues for years. My ex called me fat, ugly and boring for a long, long time. Said no one would ever be interested in me. When I look in a mirror I still sometimes hear his voice saying this to me. Not as much now as it was though. We've been separated now for just over 2 1/2 years and it's been a long process for me to accept and love myself. I still struggle a lot being naked. I have A LOT of pics on my profile for me, to see how others see me and not what I feel I look like. You are a beautiful woman who knows what she wants. Know your worth. (Sorry for the essay) x"

He sounds like a proper Tool..capital T too..!!!

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By *asterR and slut mayaMan
over a year ago

Bradford

Sadly women have a self deprecating gene.I've been empowering women for over 30 years to embrace the view of how other see them as beautiful we all have marks of been alive .but beauty comes from within and embracing that brings you confidence.

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By *rink Me xxWoman
over a year ago

Shropshire

Ive always had issues with body confidence. I lost about 4 stone a few years ago and although Im proud of myself I still just see all of the stretch marks and scars and the saggy ugly tummy. When I post pics, all of my lumps and bumps and wobbly bits are hidden with flattering angles but then I worry that Im catfishing and feel the need to tell anybody Im chatting to how awful I look in person. I wish I wasnt so hard on myself, especially when I love those lumps and bumps on other women

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Sadly women have a self deprecating gene.I've been empowering women for over 30 years to embrace the view of how other see them as beautiful we all have marks of been alive .but beauty comes from within and embracing that brings you confidence."

This...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Sex with another person can really expose you physically and mentally. But how does a person build that self confidence to allow another to pleasure them?

Like for me, I hate being naked in front of my lovers and really happy to have sex in the dark. Took me years to feel confident in the light. Love to hear people's thoughts and experiences on this sensitive subject. "

Mine is at an all time low. I know I'll never be significant to my lover, but the sex is good for the body.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t think you have to “Get naked” in front of your meets if you have a hang up about a body part there’s always some kind of outfit you can wear to disguise your issue I had a C-section & have always had a hang up about my stomach since but wearing a suspender belt & some stockings it’s surprising what it hides even a deep waisted suspender belt can look sexy on people

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By *herryblossom_BJ OP   Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire


"Sex with another person can really expose you physically and mentally. But how does a person build that self confidence to allow another to pleasure them?

Like for me, I hate being naked in front of my lovers and really happy to have sex in the dark. Took me years to feel confident in the light. Love to hear people's thoughts and experiences on this sensitive subject.

Mine is at an all time low. I know I'll never be significant to my lover, but the sex is good for the body. "

hugs... mine gets really low when I get ghosted

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By *herryblossom_BJ OP   Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire


"I don’t think you have to “Get naked” in front of your meets if you have a hang up about a body part there’s always some kind of outfit you can wear to disguise your issue I had a C-section & have always had a hang up about my stomach since but wearing a suspender belt & some stockings it’s surprising what it hides even a deep waisted suspender belt can look sexy on people "

yeah i prefer sex with lingerie on

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By *herryblossom_BJ OP   Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire


"Ive always had issues with body confidence. I lost about 4 stone a few years ago and although Im proud of myself I still just see all of the stretch marks and scars and the saggy ugly tummy. When I post pics, all of my lumps and bumps and wobbly bits are hidden with flattering angles but then I worry that Im catfishing and feel the need to tell anybody Im chatting to how awful I look in person. I wish I wasnt so hard on myself, especially when I love those lumps and bumps on other women "

wow i really couldn't tell from your photos. i feel the same way when i meet people, wondering if they think I'm the same person in the photos

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don’t think you have to “Get naked” in front of your meets if you have a hang up about a body part there’s always some kind of outfit you can wear to disguise your issue I had a C-section & have always had a hang up about my stomach since but wearing a suspender belt & some stockings it’s surprising what it hides even a deep waisted suspender belt can look sexy on people "

Stockings and suspenders..da iawn, Kelly

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By *ihimbiherCouple
over a year ago

lightwater

I’m the same as a larger Ladie however as I get older, images are less important but health is more!

I’m happy to drop my nics now as I have been round the block too many times lol

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By *lasphemouscoupleCouple
over a year ago

Cambridgeshire

I've had body issues most of my life, after some pretty drastic weight loss and the life is too short conversation I bit the bullet, took some pictures and decided that I can be confident given the right situation. I hope you find what you're looking for OP x Mrs Blasphemy

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By *moothCriminal_xMan
over a year ago

Redditch


"Sex with another person can really expose you physically and mentally. But how does a person build that self confidence to allow another to pleasure them?

Like for me, I hate being naked in front of my lovers and really happy to have sex in the dark. Took me years to feel confident in the light. Love to hear people's thoughts and experiences on this sensitive subject. "

If it helps then know that you are now on my hot list!

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By *rK MrsJCouple
over a year ago

Kidderminster

MrsJ was bullied at school for her weight, but you all have lovely bodies there are lots of men who appreciate certain shapes or sizes but I (mr) appreciate all body types. I know it's hard for ladies to believe us men when we say we like you the way you are.

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By *herryblossom_BJ OP   Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire


"Sex with another person can really expose you physically and mentally. But how does a person build that self confidence to allow another to pleasure them?

Like for me, I hate being naked in front of my lovers and really happy to have sex in the dark. Took me years to feel confident in the light. Love to hear people's thoughts and experiences on this sensitive subject.

If it helps then know that you are now on my hot list!"

thank you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We all have had knocks along the way..knocks that egfect our confidence and self esteem.

A matter of brushing yoursrlf off..

I belueve if youre with the right person then you will grow confidence together and compliment eachother in every aspect

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don’t think you have to “Get naked” in front of your meets if you have a hang up about a body part there’s always some kind of outfit you can wear to disguise your issue I had a C-section & have always had a hang up about my stomach since but wearing a suspender belt & some stockings it’s surprising what it hides even a deep waisted suspender belt can look sexy on people

Stockings and suspenders..da iawn, Kelly "

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By *og-ManMan
over a year ago

somewhere

Great thread Op and nice to see that I'm not the only man that also struggles with body confidence issue's.

I joined up for a photo shoot with 5000 other naked people 10 years ago for an American Artist called Spencer Tunick

I spent about 4 hours in a completely non sexual nude photoshoot and I was so pleased with myself that I joined a nudist association afterwards

Now I get naked in front of up to 4 or 5 hundred people in spa's abroad and it doesn't bother me

However I'm still nervous about meeting someone and hopefully I'll be fine

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By *ady23Woman
over a year ago

Coventry


"Sex with another person can really expose you physically and mentally. But how does a person build that self confidence to allow another to pleasure them?

Like for me, I hate being naked in front of my lovers and really happy to have sex in the dark. Took me years to feel confident in the light. Love to hear people's thoughts and experiences on this sensitive subject. "

I get that totally. I was always that way. Having a partner who gave me confidence allowed me to build up my confidence from nothing. That's why going to clubs can be liberating to be accepted and admired when you yourself f can't see whats in the mirror

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By *herryblossom_BJ OP   Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire


"Sex with another person can really expose you physically and mentally. But how does a person build that self confidence to allow another to pleasure them?

Like for me, I hate being naked in front of my lovers and really happy to have sex in the dark. Took me years to feel confident in the light. Love to hear people's thoughts and experiences on this sensitive subject.

I get that totally. I was always that way. Having a partner who gave me confidence allowed me to build up my confidence from nothing. That's why going to clubs can be liberating to be accepted and admired when you yourself f can't see whats in the mirror "

all this chat about clubs makes me wana go as I find chatting to men online almost impossible at times

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By *herryblossom_BJ OP   Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire


"Great thread Op and nice to see that I'm not the only man that also struggles with body confidence issue's.

I joined up for a photo shoot with 5000 other naked people 10 years ago for an American Artist called Spencer Tunick

I spent about 4 hours in a completely non sexual nude photoshoot and I was so pleased with myself that I joined a nudist association afterwards

Now I get naked in front of up to 4 or 5 hundred people in spa's abroad and it doesn't bother me

However I'm still nervous about meeting someone and hopefully I'll be fine "

Maybe that's the trick, to jump in with both feet. it took me over 10 years of going to naturist beach to sunbathe nude. it's been liberating until recently I had afew perves staring at me at the beach. I ended going back to covering up or lying on my front sunbathing. I never walked around the beach nude. tbf my pussy really is only for the eyes of afew people. I once posted a pic of my pussy slightly exposed on fab and it was very liberating but I wouldn't do it again if someone asked me to!

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