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Comprehensive profile

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By *herryblossom_BJ OP   Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

Alittle rant if i may. I spend hours getting my profile to present me in the best possible way. I get so disheartened by the amount of "wasted time" asking men to send photos, tell me their kinks etc to then find out I'm just not attracted to them. Why can't they just put it on their profile?

I know some people might suggest just talking to people with comprehensive profiles but sometimes, on odd occasions, I like to give a person a chance to express themselves but in usually ends up a bad match. Where if they had comprehensive profile, I wouldn't be in that position. Anyone agree or enjoy getting to know people through chat?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My profile is ranty n very arsey but its my profile.

Those who criticised or make negative comments are blocked.

Those who call me angry are very narrow minded and uneducated are also blocked.

Those who don't follow your rules it's your choice.. I think if we put a step by step guide some.. Well many won't follow it.

Us women get fed up...

Stay strong sista

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By *herryblossom_BJ OP   Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire


"My profile is ranty n very arsey but its my profile.

Those who criticised or make negative comments are blocked.

Those who call me angry are very narrow minded and uneducated are also blocked.

Those who don't follow your rules it's your choice.. I think if we put a step by step guide some.. Well many won't follow it.

Us women get fed up...

Stay strong sista"

It rattles me when they don't read my profile and try to offer me something I clearly stated I don't want. I wrote all that to avoid wasting eachother time. I definitely know what turns me on or off. Its simple but seems like people want to make things complicated and persuade me to think and feel differently.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm in full agreement.

I've got enough written in my profile to give a fair description of what I like and there's plenty to start a conversation with.

And the majority of messages are the generic "hi" style messages.

I have come to realise if the profile is one sentence or the opening message is generic, it's unlikely there'll be a good match. So ignore and move on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We exchange around 3 messages before we swap face pics with other couples, that way you get a feel for the tone of the messages.

If it's single guys we would only respond if they send a face pic with the first message, plus check the date the pic was added to work out how likely that it will still look like them if you met!

Ignore direct picture messages because they aren't checked through the site and could be a pic taken from the net.

Hope you get more luck in the future x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Alittle rant if i may. I spend hours getting my profile to present me in the best possible way. I get so disheartened by the amount of "wasted time" asking men to send photos, tell me their kinks etc to then find out I'm just not attracted to them. Why can't they just put it on their profile?

I know some people might suggest just talking to people with comprehensive profiles but sometimes, on odd occasions, I like to give a person a chance to express themselves but in usually ends up a bad match. Where if they had comprehensive profile, I wouldn't be in that position. Anyone agree or enjoy getting to know people through chat? "

At the moment it's the only way to get to know people better as you can't just meet up for a social out in a bar so we think chats are very important during these crazy times

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By *peak and SpellCouple
over a year ago

Greenwich, SE LONDON

If people can't be bothered to read our profile when sending messages, we can't be bothered to reply.

If someone makes an effort (even if they are not our type) we will respond.

Simples!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It took me a long while to make my profile the way it is now. After many bad experiences.

If you don't like it, don't contact me. Simples.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fully agree with you. I've worked on my profile a lot too and it's infuriating when I get messages when they've clearly not even looked at my basic details, let alone the actual text.

Tinder (which I'm also on) might have got it right after all, just glance at a photo as most people are too lazy to read.

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By *nliveneTV/TS
over a year ago

Selby

When i wrote my profile in the end i read it and i quite found thst people may would think i am a cold person , but i'm not ! I read it again and i haven't changed it because i just though was ok , is short , says the minimum about me so people wont be bored reading, says in the comprehensive way what i don't like and what i value .

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By *ohnjones3210Man
over a year ago

Chester


"Alittle rant if i may. I spend hours getting my profile to present me in the best possible way. I get so disheartened by the amount of "wasted time" asking men to send photos, tell me their kinks etc to then find out I'm just not attracted to them. Why can't they just put it on their profile?

I know some people might suggest just talking to people with comprehensive profiles but sometimes, on odd occasions, I like to give a person a chance to express themselves but in usually ends up a bad match. Where if they had comprehensive profile, I wouldn't be in that position. Anyone agree or enjoy getting to know people through chat? "

I mean this in a nice way, I really do, so please don't take offense, but as a self-respecting man, I was put off by your profile within the first few sentences. You may think this is a good thing as it saves time, but it actually doesn't.

Presumably, other guys like me will read the first part, see that it's a list of "me, me, me" and then not read any further.

However, guys who are let's say 'a little more keen' won't care. They'll just try their luck regardless, without even reading your profile. These guys won't put their likes on their profiles because they know that the more specific they are, the more they slim down their chances. They will just pretend to be your type so that they can get into your knickers.

I hope this makes sense.

Anyway, the thing is, about your wants, I totally agree that you're entitled to specify what you want, but you must remember that self respecting men also have their wants. The more demanding you are, the slimmer your chances of a successful meet will become.

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By *ankie303Woman
over a year ago

Weirdsville South Coast Dorset


"My profile is ranty n very arsey but its my profile.

Those who criticised or make negative comments are blocked.

Those who call me angry are very narrow minded and uneducated are also blocked.

Those who don't follow your rules it's your choice.. I think if we put a step by step guide some.. Well many won't follow it.

Us women get fed up...

Stay strong sista"

I love your profile!

I dumbed my right down 2 weeks ago and its seriously had the opposite effect to what I hoped for. You can lead a horse to water and all that! I seriously find my self questioning how men remember their own logins on here as basic reading and understanding is something that many lack!

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By *herryblossom_BJ OP   Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire


"Alittle rant if i may. I spend hours getting my profile to present me in the best possible way. I get so disheartened by the amount of "wasted time" asking men to send photos, tell me their kinks etc to then find out I'm just not attracted to them. Why can't they just put it on their profile?

I know some people might suggest just talking to people with comprehensive profiles but sometimes, on odd occasions, I like to give a person a chance to express themselves but in usually ends up a bad match. Where if they had comprehensive profile, I wouldn't be in that position. Anyone agree or enjoy getting to know people through chat?

I mean this in a nice way, I really do, so please don't take offense, but as a self-respecting man, I was put off by your profile within the first few sentences. You may think this is a good thing as it saves time, but it actually doesn't.

Presumably, other guys like me will read the first part, see that it's a list of "me, me, me" and then not read any further.

However, guys who are let's say 'a little more keen' won't care. They'll just try their luck regardless, without even reading your profile. These guys won't put their likes on their profiles because they know that the more specific they are, the more they slim down their chances. They will just pretend to be your type so that they can get into your knickers.

I hope this makes sense.

Anyway, the thing is, about your wants, I totally agree that you're entitled to specify what you want, but you must remember that self respecting men also have their wants. The more demanding you are, the slimmer your chances of a successful meet will become.

"

But don't you think it's all about finding a match. I tell you my wants. You tell me yours. If we have mutual wants then the sex should work out better? It's like on vanilla sites, I wouldn't date a guy who loves football because I hate it. Both my exes loved football, it would drive me mad. Why would I want someone who drives me mad. I'm not changing my profile to impress more wrong men. Sorry

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By *herryblossom_BJ OP   Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire


"It took me a long while to make my profile the way it is now. After many bad experiences.

If you don't like it, don't contact me. Simples.

"

Exactly but there's far too many chancers still messaging. I given up on simple profiles unless they strike up an interesting conversation with decent photos in my inbox

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By *herryblossom_BJ OP   Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire


"My profile is ranty n very arsey but its my profile.

Those who criticised or make negative comments are blocked.

Those who call me angry are very narrow minded and uneducated are also blocked.

Those who don't follow your rules it's your choice.. I think if we put a step by step guide some.. Well many won't follow it.

Us women get fed up...

Stay strong sista

I love your profile!

I dumbed my right down 2 weeks ago and its seriously had the opposite effect to what I hoped for. You can lead a horse to water and all that! I seriously find my self questioning how men remember their own logins on here as basic reading and understanding is something that many lack!"

At least, we explain our wants instead of finding out too late down the line we not sexually compactible with that guy who accuse us of "wasting eachothers time"... I'm very black and white upfront person as life too short to be any other way. That's my life philosophy. Don't waste eachother time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It took me a long while to make my profile the way it is now. After many bad experiences.

If you don't like it, don't contact me. Simples.

Exactly but there's far too many chancers still messaging. I given up on simple profiles unless they strike up an interesting conversation with decent photos in my inbox "

Oh I even have those who says they liked my profile + pictures and they think they fit what I'm looking for - clearly not as they don't tick the boxes. And also the attached dick pics - they don't read profiles. And then they wonder why they get blocked.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Alittle rant if i may. I spend hours getting my profile to present me in the best possible way. I get so disheartened by the amount of "wasted time" asking men to send photos, tell me their kinks etc to then find out I'm just not attracted to them. Why can't they just put it on their profile?

I know some people might suggest just talking to people with comprehensive profiles but sometimes, on odd occasions, I like to give a person a chance to express themselves but in usually ends up a bad match. Where if they had comprehensive profile, I wouldn't be in that position. Anyone agree or enjoy getting to know people through chat?

I mean this in a nice way, I really do, so please don't take offense, but as a self-respecting man, I was put off by your profile within the first few sentences. You may think this is a good thing as it saves time, but it actually doesn't.

Presumably, other guys like me will read the first part, see that it's a list of "me, me, me" and then not read any further.

However, guys who are let's say 'a little more keen' won't care. They'll just try their luck regardless, without even reading your profile. These guys won't put their likes on their profiles because they know that the more specific they are, the more they slim down their chances. They will just pretend to be your type so that they can get into your knickers.

I hope this makes sense.

Anyway, the thing is, about your wants, I totally agree that you're entitled to specify what you want, but you must remember that self respecting men also have their wants. The more demanding you are, the slimmer your chances of a successful meet will become.

"
well put fella

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By *herryblossom_BJ OP   Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire


"Alittle rant if i may. I spend hours getting my profile to present me in the best possible way. I get so disheartened by the amount of "wasted time" asking men to send photos, tell me their kinks etc to then find out I'm just not attracted to them. Why can't they just put it on their profile?

I know some people might suggest just talking to people with comprehensive profiles but sometimes, on odd occasions, I like to give a person a chance to express themselves but in usually ends up a bad match. Where if they had comprehensive profile, I wouldn't be in that position. Anyone agree or enjoy getting to know people through chat?

I mean this in a nice way, I really do, so please don't take offense, but as a self-respecting man, I was put off by your profile within the first few sentences. You may think this is a good thing as it saves time, but it actually doesn't.

Presumably, other guys like me will read the first part, see that it's a list of "me, me, me" and then not read any further.

However, guys who are let's say 'a little more keen' won't care. They'll just try their luck regardless, without even reading your profile. These guys won't put their likes on their profiles because they know that the more specific they are, the more they slim down their chances. They will just pretend to be your type so that they can get into your knickers.

I hope this makes sense.

Anyway, the thing is, about your wants, I totally agree that you're entitled to specify what you want, but you must remember that self respecting men also have their wants. The more demanding you are, the slimmer your chances of a successful meet will become.

well put fella "

I'm sorry i totally disgree what he says. Maybe this is why us women get frustrated. Women from mars and men from venus. We just don't think the same way. I explained the reasoning behind why I write my profile. I assure you other women write similar profiles to me. We just don't want time wasters.

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By *herryblossom_BJ OP   Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire


"It took me a long while to make my profile the way it is now. After many bad experiences.

If you don't like it, don't contact me. Simples.

Exactly but there's far too many chancers still messaging. I given up on simple profiles unless they strike up an interesting conversation with decent photos in my inbox

Oh I even have those who says they liked my profile + pictures and they think they fit what I'm looking for - clearly not as they don't tick the boxes. And also the attached dick pics - they don't read profiles. And then they wonder why they get blocked."

Exactly. Why would we want a lover who doesn't even listen to us? It's about mutual respect for each other needs. I would never want to be with someone who doesn't value my opinion and vice versa.

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By *ohnjones3210Man
over a year ago

Chester


"Alittle rant if i may. I spend hours getting my profile to present me in the best possible way. I get so disheartened by the amount of "wasted time" asking men to send photos, tell me their kinks etc to then find out I'm just not attracted to them. Why can't they just put it on their profile?

I know some people might suggest just talking to people with comprehensive profiles but sometimes, on odd occasions, I like to give a person a chance to express themselves but in usually ends up a bad match. Where if they had comprehensive profile, I wouldn't be in that position. Anyone agree or enjoy getting to know people through chat?

I mean this in a nice way, I really do, so please don't take offense, but as a self-respecting man, I was put off by your profile within the first few sentences. You may think this is a good thing as it saves time, but it actually doesn't.

Presumably, other guys like me will read the first part, see that it's a list of "me, me, me" and then not read any further.

However, guys who are let's say 'a little more keen' won't care. They'll just try their luck regardless, without even reading your profile. These guys won't put their likes on their profiles because they know that the more specific they are, the more they slim down their chances. They will just pretend to be your type so that they can get into your knickers.

I hope this makes sense.

Anyway, the thing is, about your wants, I totally agree that you're entitled to specify what you want, but you must remember that self respecting men also have their wants. The more demanding you are, the slimmer your chances of a successful meet will become.

But don't you think it's all about finding a match. I tell you my wants. You tell me yours. If we have mutual wants then the sex should work out better? It's like on vanilla sites, I wouldn't date a guy who loves football because I hate it. Both my exes loved football, it would drive me mad. Why would I want someone who drives me mad. I'm not changing my profile to impress more wrong men. Sorry"

I'm very sorry to tell you that it is indeed about finding a match, but your standards are very different to those of most men.

Let me explain; the average fab woman wants a good looking man, who's well kept, intelligent, caring, tall, etc. I could go on.

The average man; what does he want? Sex. Just sex. Most men aren't in a position to be fussy and to specify wants. Most men are lucky to even get a reply! This is why to a large extent, men will shy away from stating their true wants. These sorts of men will be whatever you want them to be and they'll like whatever you tell them to like. They'll also start begging, getting abusive, etc too.

A small amount of men aren't as desperate, but then these guys are more likely to be put off by demands as they don't need to satisfy criteria in order to have some fun.

I totally understand about the football example. I know what you mean, but I'm just trying to explain how I see it. At the end of the day, I respect you for being clear, but it's just one of those things. X

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By *ickDastardlyMan
over a year ago

North East

[Removed by poster at 14/06/20 12:41:50]

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By *ohnjones3210Man
over a year ago

Chester


"Alittle rant if i may. I spend hours getting my profile to present me in the best possible way. I get so disheartened by the amount of "wasted time" asking men to send photos, tell me their kinks etc to then find out I'm just not attracted to them. Why can't they just put it on their profile?

I know some people might suggest just talking to people with comprehensive profiles but sometimes, on odd occasions, I like to give a person a chance to express themselves but in usually ends up a bad match. Where if they had comprehensive profile, I wouldn't be in that position. Anyone agree or enjoy getting to know people through chat?

I mean this in a nice way, I really do, so please don't take offense, but as a self-respecting man, I was put off by your profile within the first few sentences. You may think this is a good thing as it saves time, but it actually doesn't.

Presumably, other guys like me will read the first part, see that it's a list of "me, me, me" and then not read any further.

However, guys who are let's say 'a little more keen' won't care. They'll just try their luck regardless, without even reading your profile. These guys won't put their likes on their profiles because they know that the more specific they are, the more they slim down their chances. They will just pretend to be your type so that they can get into your knickers.

I hope this makes sense.

Anyway, the thing is, about your wants, I totally agree that you're entitled to specify what you want, but you must remember that self respecting men also have their wants. The more demanding you are, the slimmer your chances of a successful meet will become.

well put fella

I'm sorry i totally disgree what he says. Maybe this is why us women get frustrated. Women from mars and men from venus. We just don't think the same way. I explained the reasoning behind why I write my profile. I assure you other women write similar profiles to me. We just don't want time wasters. "

I understand your reasoning!

I know that other women write profiles such as yours. They will also be deterring the "decent" men. (A decent man :D)

I understand what you're saying about time wasters. Nobody likes time wasters.

Have a read through my last post and see what you think. At the end of the day, I wish you luck.

Ps, I can't speak for other guys, but Juicy Jessica's profile doesn't put me off.

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By *herryblossom_BJ OP   Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire


"Alittle rant if i may. I spend hours getting my profile to present me in the best possible way. I get so disheartened by the amount of "wasted time" asking men to send photos, tell me their kinks etc to then find out I'm just not attracted to them. Why can't they just put it on their profile?

I know some people might suggest just talking to people with comprehensive profiles but sometimes, on odd occasions, I like to give a person a chance to express themselves but in usually ends up a bad match. Where if they had comprehensive profile, I wouldn't be in that position. Anyone agree or enjoy getting to know people through chat?

I mean this in a nice way, I really do, so please don't take offense, but as a self-respecting man, I was put off by your profile within the first few sentences. You may think this is a good thing as it saves time, but it actually doesn't.

Presumably, other guys like me will read the first part, see that it's a list of "me, me, me" and then not read any further.

However, guys who are let's say 'a little more keen' won't care. They'll just try their luck regardless, without even reading your profile. These guys won't put their likes on their profiles because they know that the more specific they are, the more they slim down their chances. They will just pretend to be your type so that they can get into your knickers.

I hope this makes sense.

Anyway, the thing is, about your wants, I totally agree that you're entitled to specify what you want, but you must remember that self respecting men also have their wants. The more demanding you are, the slimmer your chances of a successful meet will become.

But don't you think it's all about finding a match. I tell you my wants. You tell me yours. If we have mutual wants then the sex should work out better? It's like on vanilla sites, I wouldn't date a guy who loves football because I hate it. Both my exes loved football, it would drive me mad. Why would I want someone who drives me mad. I'm not changing my profile to impress more wrong men. Sorry

I'm very sorry to tell you that it is indeed about finding a match, but your standards are very different to those of most men.

Let me explain; the average fab woman wants a good looking man, who's well kept, intelligent, caring, tall, etc. I could go on.

The average man; what does he want? Sex. Just sex. Most men aren't in a position to be fussy and to specify wants. Most men are lucky to even get a reply! This is why to a large extent, men will shy away from stating their true wants. These sorts of men will be whatever you want them to be and they'll like whatever you tell them to like. They'll also start begging, getting abusive, etc too.

A small amount of men aren't as desperate, but then these guys are more likely to be put off by demands as they don't need to satisfy criteria in order to have some fun.

I totally understand about the football example. I know what you mean, but I'm just trying to explain how I see it. At the end of the day, I respect you for being clear, but it's just one of those things. X"

I'm not here to get a million men. I'm here to find the right one or two. I had plenty of experience to know my likes or dislikes. Not here to have my time wasted, deleting unwanted messages. Us women naturally get way more messages than men. Before I wrote my profile, I get 100s.Even with filters and my detailed profile, I still get loads unwanted messages. I'm going to prove a point and delete my bio and see how many more unwanted messages I recieve.

The reasoning for this post, I just like men to try abit harder with their profiles to make eachother life abit easier which is why I wrote this post. And if they don't want to try harder to improve their profile, then I rather not have the abuse from them about me being xyz about it.

Ultimately I want enough information on their profile to give me the confidence that they are someone I be interesting in chatting.

A plain profile is like going on a blind date? Like how many people are willing to do that? Just knowing basic information then go and meet them for fun times? (I actually know someone who did that but to me, that's too scary)

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By *ankie303Woman
over a year ago

Weirdsville South Coast Dorset


"My profile is ranty n very arsey but its my profile.

Those who criticised or make negative comments are blocked.

Those who call me angry are very narrow minded and uneducated are also blocked.

Those who don't follow your rules it's your choice.. I think if we put a step by step guide some.. Well many won't follow it.

Us women get fed up...

Stay strong sista

I love your profile!

I dumbed my right down 2 weeks ago and its seriously had the opposite effect to what I hoped for. You can lead a horse to water and all that! I seriously find my self questioning how men remember their own logins on here as basic reading and understanding is something that many lack!

At least, we explain our wants instead of finding out too late down the line we not sexually compactible with that guy who accuse us of "wasting eachothers time"... I'm very black and white upfront person as life too short to be any other way. That's my life philosophy. Don't waste eachother time "

Exactly this!

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By *herryblossom_BJ OP   Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire


"My profile is ranty n very arsey but its my profile.

Those who criticised or make negative comments are blocked.

Those who call me angry are very narrow minded and uneducated are also blocked.

Those who don't follow your rules it's your choice.. I think if we put a step by step guide some.. Well many won't follow it.

Us women get fed up...

Stay strong sista

I love your profile!

I dumbed my right down 2 weeks ago and its seriously had the opposite effect to what I hoped for. You can lead a horse to water and all that! I seriously find my self questioning how men remember their own logins on here as basic reading and understanding is something that many lack!

At least, we explain our wants instead of finding out too late down the line we not sexually compactible with that guy who accuse us of "wasting eachothers time"... I'm very black and white upfront person as life too short to be any other way. That's my life philosophy. Don't waste eachother time

Exactly this!"

Ok i dumbed down my profile as social experiment to see if being non specific brings the "decent guys" I want meet. I love social experiments.

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By *ohnjones3210Man
over a year ago

Chester


"Alittle rant if i may. I spend hours getting my profile to present me in the best possible way. I get so disheartened by the amount of "wasted time" asking men to send photos, tell me their kinks etc to then find out I'm just not attracted to them. Why can't they just put it on their profile?

I know some people might suggest just talking to people with comprehensive profiles but sometimes, on odd occasions, I like to give a person a chance to express themselves but in usually ends up a bad match. Where if they had comprehensive profile, I wouldn't be in that position. Anyone agree or enjoy getting to know people through chat?

I mean this in a nice way, I really do, so please don't take offense, but as a self-respecting man, I was put off by your profile within the first few sentences. You may think this is a good thing as it saves time, but it actually doesn't.

Presumably, other guys like me will read the first part, see that it's a list of "me, me, me" and then not read any further.

However, guys who are let's say 'a little more keen' won't care. They'll just try their luck regardless, without even reading your profile. These guys won't put their likes on their profiles because they know that the more specific they are, the more they slim down their chances. They will just pretend to be your type so that they can get into your knickers.

I hope this makes sense.

Anyway, the thing is, about your wants, I totally agree that you're entitled to specify what you want, but you must remember that self respecting men also have their wants. The more demanding you are, the slimmer your chances of a successful meet will become.

But don't you think it's all about finding a match. I tell you my wants. You tell me yours. If we have mutual wants then the sex should work out better? It's like on vanilla sites, I wouldn't date a guy who loves football because I hate it. Both my exes loved football, it would drive me mad. Why would I want someone who drives me mad. I'm not changing my profile to impress more wrong men. Sorry

I'm very sorry to tell you that it is indeed about finding a match, but your standards are very different to those of most men.

Let me explain; the average fab woman wants a good looking man, who's well kept, intelligent, caring, tall, etc. I could go on.

The average man; what does he want? Sex. Just sex. Most men aren't in a position to be fussy and to specify wants. Most men are lucky to even get a reply! This is why to a large extent, men will shy away from stating their true wants. These sorts of men will be whatever you want them to be and they'll like whatever you tell them to like. They'll also start begging, getting abusive, etc too.

A small amount of men aren't as desperate, but then these guys are more likely to be put off by demands as they don't need to satisfy criteria in order to have some fun.

I totally understand about the football example. I know what you mean, but I'm just trying to explain how I see it. At the end of the day, I respect you for being clear, but it's just one of those things. X

I'm not here to get a million men. I'm here to find the right one or two. I had plenty of experience to know my likes or dislikes. Not here to have my time wasted, deleting unwanted messages. Us women naturally get way more messages than men. Before I wrote my profile, I get 100s.Even with filters and my detailed profile, I still get loads unwanted messages. I'm going to prove a point and delete my bio and see how many more unwanted messages I recieve.

The reasoning for this post, I just like men to try abit harder with their profiles to make eachother life abit easier which is why I wrote this post. And if they don't want to try harder to improve their profile, then I rather not have the abuse from them about me being xyz about it.

Ultimately I want enough information on their profile to give me the confidence that they are someone I be interesting in chatting.

A plain profile is like going on a blind date? Like how many people are willing to do that? Just knowing basic information then go and meet them for fun times? (I actually know someone who did that but to me, that's too scary) "

No women I know on here want a million men. All are looking for the special few. All women will naturally get more messages than men. You can delete your profile text and you'll still get messages. You don't need to prove the point. I know this!

I know the point in the post. You want men to be more specific in their profiles. I understand! But why is a man going to do that? A fussy man might do that, but a man who just wants sex will never do that!

Abuse is not acceptable and on behalf of my gender, I'll apologize for the way they are.

Desperate men will NOT be specific in their profiles. I've explained why already.

Fussy men (which are more rare) will be specific in profiles, but they are likely to be put off by demanding profiles.

A plain profile is bad, I don't recommend it. Many men will go on a blind date of they feel that it will get them sex. I have no idea about that as I'm not one of those guys.

At the end of the day, I totally see what you mean, but I'm just saying that;

1; If a man wants sex, being specific in a profile is a bad thing to do.

2; Some men will be specific in a profile, but these guys will not be desperate for sex. Because they're not desperate for sex, they're less likely to tolerate a demanding profile.

At the end of the day though, hopefully some other guys will give their thoughts. I may be a little off the mark.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Amen to all this!

The number of times I get asked if I'm married or playing on the side!! Read the bloody profile!!

Additionally, I think anyone who can't be bothered to put something about themselves on their profile are not going to be worthy while - they probably have little to say to me.

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By *aomilatteCouple
over a year ago

Visiting Blackpool


"

But don't you think it's all about finding a match. I tell you my wants. You tell me yours. If we have mutual wants then the sex should work out better? It's like on vanilla sites, I wouldn't date a guy who loves football because I hate it. Both my exes loved football, it would drive me mad. Why would I want someone who drives me mad. I'm not changing my profile to impress more wrong men. Sorry"
If you met a muscular, intelligent, good looking, well hung guy with a great personality, would you seriously not date him because he loves football?

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By *herryblossom_BJ OP   Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire


"

But don't you think it's all about finding a match. I tell you my wants. You tell me yours. If we have mutual wants then the sex should work out better? It's like on vanilla sites, I wouldn't date a guy who loves football because I hate it. Both my exes loved football, it would drive me mad. Why would I want someone who drives me mad. I'm not changing my profile to impress more wrong men. Sorry If you met a muscular, intelligent, good looking, well hung guy with a great personality, would you seriously not date him because he loves football?"

Look, I married a guy who fit that criteria. He was a goalie in local football team. He loved football. But he was respectful to my opinion. So there's exception to every rule. Where my first ex, selfish prat, who was the one who made me dislike football, insisted decorating our bedroom with football posters and half naked women, forced me to watch football every Sunday, had it on tv nearly every night and insisted talking about it litterly all the time. So I use that as analogy. So for you, what if you had a really awful experience doing dogging. It caused too much pain and you just hate the thought of doing it again. Would you date a guy who absolutely loved doggy and doesn't get much out of normal penetration? He find normal far too boring.

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By *herryblossom_BJ OP   Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire


"Amen to all this!

The number of times I get asked if I'm married or playing on the side!! Read the bloody profile!!

Additionally, I think anyone who can't be bothered to put something about themselves on their profile are not going to be worthy while - they probably have little to say to me."

I do ask the reasoning, most of the responses is "i don't know what to say, can't be bothered or just ask" all this is too inefficient way of talking. Maybe it's because I'm a very direct person and before lockdown super busy.

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By *assing Fancies xCouple
over a year ago

Sherwood Forest

We don't mind chatting but again our bio is pretty self explanatory... We prefer to cut straight to the point rather than have 100s of back and forth messages about the same things.

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By *londie8399Couple
over a year ago

blackpool

I know what you mean the age is the first thing they see but they still text when we're out of there age ranges think filters are not working at the moment as we have had loads

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

There are linguistic terms of modal operators of necessity and model operators of possibility.

If I find more necessity than possibility on a profile we dismiss the profile instantly.

These subconscious operators speak volumes around open and closed minds.

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham

We enjoy the flirting and getting to know people so don’t pay too pay too much attention to profile text. But typically couple of messages, WhatsApp chat then meet in the flesh if still interested.

Have you listened to Amy Webb - How I Hacked Online Dating , on Ted ? You could try that

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By *stbury DavenportMan
over a year ago

Nottingham


"as a self-respecting man, I was put off by your profile within the first few sentences. You may think this is a good thing as it saves time, but it actually doesn't."

As a self-respecting man, I thought her profile was admirably specific and to the point. It was a large part of why I messaged her. I was unsuccessful, but that's entirely irrelevant – what she wrote informed me as to whether I should even put myself forward. There are plenty of other profiles I've read that have left me thinking "Ohh, she's hot, but I'm absolutely no use to her. Leave it alone."


"However, guys who are let's say 'a little more keen' won't care. They'll just try their luck regardless, without even reading your profile. These guys won't put their likes on their profiles because they know that the more specific they are, the more they slim down their chances. They will just pretend to be your type so that they can get into your knickers."

I want to address this as well. I feel like it doesn't take into account that any given individual will naturally be a different person to different partners. To use myself as an example (me me me!), to some partners I'm a strong, dominant person who takes charge and gets what I want; to others, I'm a submissive fucktoy with no will of my own to be used for their physical pleasure. To most, I'm somewhere on a continuum between those two points. That's not pretending to be someone's type; that's different personalities fitting together differently.

Maybe it's different for people less switchy than I am. Now you've got me worrying I've fallen down some sort of credibility gap! Heh.

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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago

Dubai & Nottingham


"as a self-respecting man, I was put off by your profile within the first few sentences. You may think this is a good thing as it saves time, but it actually doesn't.

As a self-respecting man, I thought her profile was admirably specific and to the point. It was a large part of why I messaged her. I was unsuccessful, but that's entirely irrelevant – what she wrote informed me as to whether I should even put myself forward. There are plenty of other profiles I've read that have left me thinking "Ohh, she's hot, but I'm absolutely no use to her. Leave it alone."

However, guys who are let's say 'a little more keen' won't care. They'll just try their luck regardless, without even reading your profile. These guys won't put their likes on their profiles because they know that the more specific they are, the more they slim down their chances. They will just pretend to be your type so that they can get into your knickers.

I want to address this as well. I feel like it doesn't take into account that any given individual will naturally be a different person to different partners. To use myself as an example (me me me!), to some partners I'm a strong, dominant person who takes charge and gets what I want; to others, I'm a submissive fucktoy with no will of my own to be used for their physical pleasure. To most, I'm somewhere on a continuum between those two points. That's not pretending to be someone's type; that's different personalities fitting together differently.

Maybe it's different for people less switchy than I am. Now you've got me worrying I've fallen down some sort of credibility gap! Heh.

"

I’m much less switchy than that but agree and wouldn’t box myself in with detailed profile text. Can be very dominant , or less so, intimate or sensual and sometimes primal/lustful but not submissive, cuck or bi.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The more niche your 'wants', the more difficult to find them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Alittle rant if i may. I spend hours getting my profile to present me in the best possible way. I get so disheartened by the amount of "wasted time" asking men to send photos, tell me their kinks etc to then find out I'm just not attracted to them. Why can't they just put it on their profile?

I know some people might suggest just talking to people with comprehensive profiles but sometimes, on odd occasions, I like to give a person a chance to express themselves but in usually ends up a bad match. Where if they had comprehensive profile, I wouldn't be in that position. Anyone agree or enjoy getting to know people through chat?

I mean this in a nice way, I really do, so please don't take offense, but as a self-respecting man, I was put off by your profile within the first few sentences. You may think this is a good thing as it saves time, but it actually doesn't.

Presumably, other guys like me will read the first part, see that it's a list of "me, me, me" and then not read any further.

However, guys who are let's say 'a little more keen' won't care. They'll just try their luck regardless, without even reading your profile. These guys won't put their likes on their profiles because they know that the more specific they are, the more they slim down their chances. They will just pretend to be your type so that they can get into your knickers.

I hope this makes sense.

Anyway, the thing is, about your wants, I totally agree that you're entitled to specify what you want, but you must remember that self respecting men also have their wants. The more demanding you are, the slimmer your chances of a successful meet will become.

"

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By *enithWoman
over a year ago

closer than you think

Majority of women on here are looking for a partner

Majority of men just want sex - of course they don’t read profiles

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By *ikingpairCouple
over a year ago

Cambridge

Are you getting what you want out of Fab? Is it working for you? No?

Ok, then all you can do, like in most areas of life, is change the things you can control.

Saying that all men should write comprehensive profiles so that others can quickly decide whether to respond is a pipedream. It's not something you can control and so it's best forgotten.

What can you control? Your own profile. Your filters. How you deal with messages. The block button.

So, what you could do is state first thing on your profile "Any guy who doesn't have at least 5 lines of profile text explaining what he's into will have message ignored and get blocked".

100 messages a day, 99 of them from guys who ignored what you've asked for and you'll have blocked 99% of the guys on Fab within a few years. But most importantly, the 1% left is still a large number, several hundred, and you can concentrate on them.

Hope you find a way to make this site work for you, OP, because it's great when it does

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith


"Alittle rant if i may. I spend hours getting my profile to present me in the best possible way. I get so disheartened by the amount of "wasted time" asking men to send photos, tell me their kinks etc to then find out I'm just not attracted to them. Why can't they just put it on their profile?

I know some people might suggest just talking to people with comprehensive profiles but sometimes, on odd occasions, I like to give a person a chance to express themselves but in usually ends up a bad match. Where if they had comprehensive profile, I wouldn't be in that position. Anyone agree or enjoy getting to know people through chat? "

I skim read every profile I’m interested in, looking firstly for key words like cheat, married, or ‘8” and over’. I then look at the ‘looking for’ statistics ie, age, height, travel or accommodate. If all looks good for a potential match, I’ll go back and read the profile properly, then make a decision whether to direct message, block, or put a private note against their profile such as “eye candy only, no point messaging”

The flip side of this is, 9 out of 10 people can’t even be bothered to read the first line of my profile

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By *aomilatteCouple
over a year ago

Visiting Blackpool


"Alittle rant if i may. I spend hours getting my profile to present me in the best possible way. I get so disheartened by the amount of "wasted time" asking men to send photos, tell me their kinks etc to then find out I'm just not attracted to them. Why can't they just put it on their profile?

I know some people might suggest just talking to people with comprehensive profiles but sometimes, on odd occasions, I like to give a person a chance to express themselves but in usually ends up a bad match. Where if they had comprehensive profile, I wouldn't be in that position. Anyone agree or enjoy getting to know people through chat?

I skim read every profile I’m interested in, looking firstly for key words like cheat, married, or ‘8” and over’. I then look at the ‘looking for’ statistics ie, age, height, travel or accommodate. If all looks good for a potential match, I’ll go back and read the profile properly, then make a decision whether to direct message, block, or put a private note against their profile such as “eye candy only, no point messaging”

The flip side of this is, 9 out of 10 people can’t even be bothered to read the first line of my profile "
That’s well worded, skim read a profile. If there’s words in there that mean you’re not a match, there’s no point reading further or replying. The private notes are good because people who clearly aren’t compatible will message. Then they may change their profile wording before messaging yet again

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Alittle rant if i may. I spend hours getting my profile to present me in the best possible way. I get so disheartened by the amount of "wasted time" asking men to send photos, tell me their kinks etc to then find out I'm just not attracted to them. Why can't they just put it on their profile?

I know some people might suggest just talking to people with comprehensive profiles but sometimes, on odd occasions, I like to give a person a chance to express themselves but in usually ends up a bad match. Where if they had comprehensive profile, I wouldn't be in that position. Anyone agree or enjoy getting to know people through chat? "

Personally my kinks change dramatically depending on the person and the particular chemistry we have. Much prefer a conversation...I get some people don’t like a chat but then I would never meet someone who doesn’t like to converse.

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By *herryblossom_BJ OP   Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire


"Alittle rant if i may. I spend hours getting my profile to present me in the best possible way. I get so disheartened by the amount of "wasted time" asking men to send photos, tell me their kinks etc to then find out I'm just not attracted to them. Why can't they just put it on their profile?

I know some people might suggest just talking to people with comprehensive profiles but sometimes, on odd occasions, I like to give a person a chance to express themselves but in usually ends up a bad match. Where if they had comprehensive profile, I wouldn't be in that position. Anyone agree or enjoy getting to know people through chat?

Personally my kinks change dramatically depending on the person and the particular chemistry we have. Much prefer a conversation...I get some people don’t like a chat but then I would never meet someone who doesn’t like to converse."

For me, I need to want the person as a whole package to enjoy sex: physically attracted, mentally attracted and enjoys the same kinks.

I mean, fine if you're tipsy and desperate for a screw, probably most people will do for 5 minutes but to be that's not great sex

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By *herryblossom_BJ OP   Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire


"Are you getting what you want out of Fab? Is it working for you? No?

Ok, then all you can do, like in most areas of life, is change the things you can control.

Saying that all men should write comprehensive profiles so that others can quickly decide whether to respond is a pipedream. It's not something you can control and so it's best forgotten.

What can you control? Your own profile. Your filters. How you deal with messages. The block button.

So, what you could do is state first thing on your profile "Any guy who doesn't have at least 5 lines of profile text explaining what he's into will have message ignored and get blocked".

100 messages a day, 99 of them from guys who ignored what you've asked for and you'll have blocked 99% of the guys on Fab within a few years. But most importantly, the 1% left is still a large number, several hundred, and you can concentrate on them.

Hope you find a way to make this site work for you, OP, because it's great when it does "

My block list is getting long!

Just can't wait until things go back to normal which hopefully naturally filter out the time wasters. I just come to ignore men who have little on their profile unless they dm me more info and photos in the first few messages. Otherwise it's table tennis of messages and you find out you're incompatible

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By *ickDastardlyMan
over a year ago

North East


"Alittle rant if i may. I spend hours getting my profile to present me in the best possible way. I get so disheartened by the amount of "wasted time" asking men to send photos, tell me their kinks etc to then find out I'm just not attracted to them. Why can't they just put it on their profile?

I know some people might suggest just talking to people with comprehensive profiles but sometimes, on odd occasions, I like to give a person a chance to express themselves but in usually ends up a bad match. Where if they had comprehensive profile, I wouldn't be in that position. Anyone agree or enjoy getting to know people through chat?

Personally my kinks change dramatically depending on the person and the particular chemistry we have. Much prefer a conversation...I get some people don’t like a chat but then I would never meet someone who doesn’t like to converse."

This is it for me too! I’ve had wildly different experiences with different couples/females/groups I’ve met.

I’m not going to put my likes and dislikes out for everyone to see but they vary from person to person.

For example I could say, I love anal but I’m not looking for that exclusively, I’m here to push my sexual boundaries.

I’m sexually very open, my profile states that. I don’t feel the need to go into specifics on a profile but I can understand that some people would rather I did so that they didn’t ‘waste time’ talking to me in the first place.

For me, social connection, even just on a friendly basis, have come into play massively so if people feel relying to a genuine message I’ve sent is waste of time. That’s on them. I‘m genuine, I know a lot of men are not, but I can’t help that. I do my best.

I do see people’s profiles with huge lists of do’s and do nots. What you ‘must have’ or what you must not be to stand a chance of meeting them.

Some of these things totally contradict each other and I personally find profiles like that are looking for something VERY specific and that probably isn’t me.

But I also understand that women are bombarded with messages, so it’s hard to sift. But I think looking at profiles, texts, photos, verifications etc all in, should be able to give you a good idea if you want to get to know the person a little more.

Different people, different tastes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do you think your competition in your status is perhaps contributing to the issues you're having?

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By *herryblossom_BJ OP   Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire


"Do you think your competition in your status is perhaps contributing to the issues you're having? "

Not really. I'm referring to men I may want to actually meet having nothing on there. I just having a laugh there. This is nothing to do with my profile. This post is to discuss why men don't write much on their profile. Troll comments aren't particularly helpful are they?

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By *uenevereWoman
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

I suspect many men on here simply have no idea how to interact with women and think that because they see boobs and want you... you will see cock and want them.

I am only interested in meeting women, which is obvious from the first line. This doesn't stop men messaging about meeting.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Do you think your competition in your status is perhaps contributing to the issues you're having?

Not really. I'm referring to men I may want to actually meet having nothing on there. I just having a laugh there. This is nothing to do with my profile. This post is to discuss why men don't write much on their profile. Troll comments aren't particularly helpful are they? "

Don't know why you would respond in that manner I wasn't trolling but merely suggesting that your status would cause exactly the type you say you don't want to contact you but hey, fire in

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By *uenevereWoman
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

Jasmine, I would stick to your gut instinct. Crap profile equals wrong kind of guy for you.

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By *andymanpaulMan
over a year ago

Wiltshire

I much prefer to read a detailed profile as it does give an idea on whether to bother to message. No point in wasting anybody's time if there's going to be no match.

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By *ficouldMan
over a year ago

a quandary, could you change my mind?


"guys who are let's say 'a little more keen' won't care. They'll just try their luck regardless, without even reading your profile. These guys won't put their likes on their profiles because they know that the more specific they are, the more they slim down their chances. They will just pretend to be your type so that they can get into your knickers.

"

My likes aren't on my profile, it's not about widening my chances or pretending either. I believe by having no likes ticked that I show up on less searches. This in turn means that people who do message have for a good reason.

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By *andymanpaulMan
over a year ago

Wiltshire

[Removed by poster at 28/06/20 22:55:19]

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By *herryblossom_BJ OP   Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire


"I suspect many men on here simply have no idea how to interact with women and think that because they see boobs and want you... you will see cock and want them.

I am only interested in meeting women, which is obvious from the first line. This doesn't stop men messaging about meeting. "

is it totally different experience for a woman to find a woman on here? minus the unwanted messages from men which i know you can filter out. im not interested in women or tv/ts but it's always lovely chatting to them via dm so i dont put that filter on. Same with age restrictions. I treat fab to socialise with anyone with like minded attitude towards sex.

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By *herryblossom_BJ OP   Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire


"Do you think your competition in your status is perhaps contributing to the issues you're having?

Not really. I'm referring to men I may want to actually meet having nothing on there. I just having a laugh there. This is nothing to do with my profile. This post is to discuss why men don't write much on their profile. Troll comments aren't particularly helpful are they?

Don't know why you would respond in that manner I wasn't trolling but merely suggesting that your status would cause exactly the type you say you don't want to contact you but hey, fire in "

I'm just used to seeing trollish comments so read yours as when people use OP profiles to digress from the actual topic. Even when I'm not messing around, I still get inappropriate messages. TBF, my best fab friendships been made through me doing silly competitions on my status updates.

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By *herryblossom_BJ OP   Woman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire


"guys who are let's say 'a little more keen' won't care. They'll just try their luck regardless, without even reading your profile. These guys won't put their likes on their profiles because they know that the more specific they are, the more they slim down their chances. They will just pretend to be your type so that they can get into your knickers.

My likes aren't on my profile, it's not about widening my chances or pretending either. I believe by having no likes ticked that I show up on less searches. This in turn means that people who do message have for a good reason. "

Sorry but not sure how I'm following that. For me, if they just randomly messaging you for no particular reason, they more likely to be chancers and probably 1 in 100 messages will be someone that might share the same kinks, you're attractive and you can converse. So many hoops to jump, have people really got time for that? Men don't usually share the same experience as women where we have to trawl through 100s messages each day hoping one will be suitable.

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