FabSwingers.com forum: how can I get over my nerves?

By *imples91 OP Woman
over a year ago

Belfast

ok so i joined the site about 8 weeks ago, a complete newbie to the scene and i think i may have rushed into meets a bit too soon...

i thought my ever first meet went well, i had fun and so did he (or so he said) but i heard nothing from him & when i contacted him he said i was far too shy for him :|

now i'm even more nervous about arranging another meet - how can i be less shy and nervous next time? any tips?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

gin x

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

believe in yourself, take time to choose the right guy, meet socially first, take it at your pace, don't be rushed, speak thro what you are looking for and ensure you both match up....

and really think thro what NSA means to you and what it may mean to the people you choose to meet... the 2 may be completely different, right for you but maybe not for the other.

good luck x

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

ps.. don't rely on alchohol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All of the above, you will gain confidence very quickly, don't pressure yourself hunny, it is all just fun after all.

Good luck

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just take ur time and dont be in no rush for anyone. Try meeting socially first that can sometimes take the nerves away

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By *imples91 OP Woman
over a year ago

Belfast

thanks everyone - think I was just puttng alot of pressure on myself to meet too quickly as didn't want to be deemed a 'time waster' :\

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By *obinhood-maidmarionCouple
over a year ago

Gangbang

be yourself, dont change for any fucker, especially off here, if they dont like the real you its their loss not yours.

maybe put on your profile that your shy, many men/couples will respond to this and take your feelings into account

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

Also take a look in the meets forum and the UK forum for social meets near you. It gives you a chance to meet people, chat, get lots of info and support without feeling like you have to do anymore than have a fun night out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some people are very much turned on by shyness.

I suspect there's nothing shy about you once you've broken the ice though!

Put it behind you, explain to the next guy about things and see what happens. What ever you do, don't try to be something you're not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"All of the above, you will gain confidence very quickly, don't pressure yourself hunny, it is all just fun after all.

Good luck

Completely agree,I only joined a month and a bit ago,went to a club for the first time at the weekend (on my own) could hardly fill in the application form,I was so nervous!Hardly an expert but after the first half an hour I was absolutely fine.Just be yourself and remember there will be people who want to spend time with you and enjoy you for being you!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A lot of people don't ever meet anyone for fun and theres nothing wrong with that as long as you are open and honest from the beginning that you dont intend to meet

if you dont feel comfortable perhaps you may want to take a break for a bit and just get to know people.

Ive been on and off for a couple of years but the first time i came on it took me a few months to have my first play meet which was my first ever bi experience-dont rush it and find someone you can be friends with as well, they're some lovely guys on here!!

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By *empting Devil.Woman
over a year ago

Sheffield

"Also take a look in the meets forum and the UK forum for social meets near you. It gives you a chance to meet people, chat, get lots of info and support without feeling like you have to do anymore than have a fun night out.

Might be worth having a peek in the Ireland forum too.

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By *imples91 OP Woman
over a year ago

Belfast

I didn't know there were social meets! lol I think that'd be something that might calm my nerves alright, dunno if I could go on my own though! & nobody knows I'm on this site

haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you find a social you want to go to ask around to see if anyone else is going that you can tag along with - we did for our first social and never looked back.

It really is daunting at the beginning but do it at your own pace and in 12 months time you will be handing out advice and help to other newbies

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just be you. Don't worry what others think, it how you feel that matters x

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

We join sites like this for our own hedonistic pleasure. Personally I don't meet to play "cold". I prefer to get to know someone first, meet socially before agreeing a play meet. I control the where and when and anyone that wants to deviate/amend that I don't meet.

It's about what's comfortable for you. This should be an enjoyable experience so go at your pace. There's someone for everyone here.

Good luck and have fun.

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By *ranny-CrumpetWoman
over a year ago

Crumpet Castle

1. Go at your own speed.

2. Remember these times when you meet males when you are a hardened , confident fuck em and leave angstless swinger.

3. Hope the shy guy you meet doesn't reveal your private chats and identity in a forum.

4. Don't take it personally. You were you and that's not wrong.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"believe in yourself, take time to choose the right guy, meet socially first, take it at your pace, don't be rushed, speak thro what you are looking for and ensure you both match up....

and really think thro what NSA means to you and what it may mean to the people you choose to meet... the 2 may be completely different, right for you but maybe not for the other.

good luck x"

Sits on coffin

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nothing wrong in being shy, if people don't take you as you are then they aint worth knowing x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

it took me a while to get past the butterfiles in the stomach stage.

now i have no worries about meeting at all,even when its someone for the first time.

just take your time and dont do anything your uncomfortable with.

of course only you can chose the right person to meet but get to know them and see how you feel.

good luck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"All of the above, you will gain confidence very quickly, don't pressure yourself hunny, it is all just fun after all.

Good luck

Yeah and you were pissed too, what would you have been like sober?

lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Be yourself. So you were too shy for him? NEXT!

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By *lexaWoman
over a year ago

southampton

I think you learn to deal with the nerves over time. I have mine, but that's not to say that I don't still get really nervous before each meet. I'm not really into sub/dom play so I suppose my sexual confidence comes from the fact that we're both equal in it. I don't allow myself to come across as shy, or show the nerves, so I suppose it's just something you learn to do.

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By *evilwolfCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

Don't forget the other person(s) you may be meeting are equally as nervous, just maybe learned to keep it in...

Learn to rule it, and not let it rule you.

I'm sure you'll be fine... good luck

Wolf

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By *imples91 OP Woman
over a year ago

Belfast

thanks everybody, you're all very kind

feeling a bit better about it now lol ! x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree with what's already been said. Here's abit of advice I was given. Always do your home work on any peeps you are interested in. Just cus your on this site. Doesn't give anyone the automatic right to sex. Social meets are always a good place to start. If you get that good feeling in your gut then go with it. Like wise if you get that bad feeling then politely turn them down.

Also keep yourself safe. I have a close friend who I tell when I'm going on a meet. Last point of contact kind of thing. Have fun nd enjoy yourself.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nerves are half the fun if you ask me

Nothing like meeting a person and having the nerves melt away. I still get nerves meeting people i've met loadsa times even if its just catching up for a coffee.

If none of the above advice works for get your bum down south. Ill sort those nerves out hehe

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon

We have been swinging for close to 3 and a half years now, and still get a little nervous.

We went to Chameleons in Darlaston for the first time over the weekend, and although we had been to clubs before, we were still a little shy to start with.

If it gets to the stage where we dont have that little "buzz" of nerves before swinging, then I think it will be time to give it up!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"gin x"

Lol deffo!!! X

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By *outhlondondudeMan
over a year ago

london

ditto!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The socials are just as nerve wracking!! But a great way to meet people.

Like you I was TERRIFIED when we decided to actually arrange sex. We had been with a girl for ffm a few times but she was a friend and a d*unken mmf with another friend. When the guy from fab arrived i was pretty much shaking with fear, but kind of wet too lol

I get the nerves everytime, but before we play we spend about an hour and a half chatting to get relaxed. I always initiate the sex, nothing happens until I decide to either show myself off or drop down and take their cocks out. From my personal experience, never ever allow a guy or couple to rush you, don't rely on alcohol and remember at all times, that guy/ couple who have came to meet you want to fuck you...wether they do or not is your decision xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Scroll down to Ireland forum and you'll see there's a social being organised up your way the end if this month

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By *imples91 OP Woman
over a year ago

Belfast

"Scroll down to Ireland forum and you'll see there's a social being organised up your way the end if this month

Had a wee look but can't see? Was it in Belfast?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'll bump it up for you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My bad it's Derry

but there's some Belfast folk going maybe you could car pool

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By *eminiman61Man
over a year ago

mansfield

His loss better luck next time

Practice makes perfect,just go with the flow but always b yourself

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"gin x"
mmmmmmmmmm gin lush ..... sloe gin even better mmmmmmmm

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By *olandtinaCouple
16 weeks ago

Crowthorne

Hi can anyone help me and my partner are new to this and I am nervous about seeing him having sex with someone elsehow do I over come this

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By *ortney FoxxxWoman
16 weeks ago

honeysuckle lane

"Hi can anyone help me and my partner are new to this and I am nervous about seeing him having sex with someone elsehow do I over come this "
maybe come up a word only you & your partner know & if it gets to much for you to watch say the word & your partner will know when to stop 🤷🏻‍♀️

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
16 weeks ago

East Sussex

"Hi can anyone help me and my partner are new to this and I am nervous about seeing him having sex with someone elsehow do I over come this "

Nervous for what reason, you don't know how you'll feel or react, you're not sure you want to go ahead?

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By *isfits behaving badlyCouple
16 weeks ago

Coventry

"Hi can anyone help me and my partner are new to this and I am nervous about seeing him having sex with someone elsehow do I over come this

Nervous for what reason, you don't know how you'll feel or react, you're not sure you want to go ahead?

None of us fully know how we will feel till we do it. Yes it's really important to talk it all through but you never truly know till your in that moment. Its a roll of the dice. Chances are you'll have a great experience but there is a chance it won't work. I think it's really important you can trust in your partner to go at your pace and stop if you want to stop. And of course it is something you're both 100% on board trying.

The bit about going at your speed is important. You go at whoevers the slowest speed. Many of us don't jump in the deepend first, we didn't. You may want to go to club just see what's going on or bit of flirting or kissing or just start no swap or soft swap first. Just get used people being around you having sex or yourselves around others having sex first.

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By *lix CoxMan
16 weeks ago

CF39

"ok so i joined the site about 8 weeks ago, a complete newbie to the scene and i think i may have rushed into meets a bit too soon...

i thought my ever first meet went well, i had fun and so did he (or so he said) but i heard nothing from him & when i contacted him he said i was far too shy for him :|

now i'm even more nervous about arranging another meet - how can i be less shy and nervous next time? any tips? "

Be yourself shyness is something that alot of people admire

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By *herrybakewellCouple
16 weeks ago

Staffordshire

Not all swingers are the same.....we all have different preferences.

We don't watch each other. We are more comfortable with separate room play.

Yes its more rare, but it works for us.

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