FabSwingers.com forum: messages sent but only profile viewed?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hi everyone,

I put a fair bit of effort in my opening messages (making sure to put the necessary keyword in the subject, and including a face pic when requested), but what I'm finding is that my profile is then viewed, but the message goes unread.

Is this commonplace? My profile could do with a few more pictures, but it has so much more info than many of the one liner profile descriptions.

Please lend me your thoughts? Would appreciate some feedback from Fab ladies!

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By *anshee99Woman
over a year ago

I'll look at the profile before the message. If theres something on there I dont like then I tend not to read it.

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By *olden RatioWoman
over a year ago

Buckinghamshire

I’ll always read through a profile before opening a message.

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By *tockton GentMan
over a year ago

Middlesbrough

Sometimes a message can be read and then marked as unread to remind them to go back to it. Presumably other unwanted messages are simply deleted.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They're not interested

Simple as that

Move on.

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By *sm265Woman
over a year ago

Shangri-la

I read a profile before deciding whether to read a message. If the profile doesn't catch my interest, or there's anything on there that puts me off, then I'm unlikely to read the message.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks so much for your replies! Would you mind taking a minute to read my profile and let me know if I've put something on there that's a turnoff? Is it maybe too vanilla?

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By *enusInFursCouple
over a year ago

Essex/Suffolk border

"Sometimes a message can be read and then marked as unread to remind them to go back to it. Presumably other unwanted messages are simply deleted."

Plus you can mark it unread so your partner can see. Once it’s read, some people get very antsy if it’s not replied to within seconds!

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By *ankie303Woman
over a year ago

Weirdsville South Coast Dorset

"Thanks so much for your replies! Would you mind taking a minute to read my profile and let me know if I've put something on there that's a turnoff? Is it maybe too vanilla? "

It's very generic, but if it truly reflects you then leave it as it is.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I generally look at the profile first.

I also cheat reading messages by doing so in the sent section as it's then not marked as read (unless I read it in inbox)

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By *olden RatioWoman
over a year ago

Buckinghamshire

"Thanks so much for your replies! Would you mind taking a minute to read my profile and let me know if I've put something on there that's a turnoff? Is it maybe too vanilla? "

I think it’s fine... also bear in mind that you can’t be everything to everyone so if you’re vanilla then don’t worry!

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By *herryblossom_BJWoman
over a year ago

Oxfordshire/Hampshire

"Thanks so much for your replies! Would you mind taking a minute to read my profile and let me know if I've put something on there that's a turnoff? Is it maybe too vanilla? "

For me it's too vanilla. But you do what ever comfortable for you.

I often check profiles then delete messages. Any repeaters I block now as some people forget they messaged me and I get the same message 10 times. So if they looked at your profile and not replied. They most likely not interested. No reply usually means no Interest.

Good luck

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By *istress-MazikeenWoman
over a year ago

bolton

"Thanks so much for your replies! Would you mind taking a minute to read my profile and let me know if I've put something on there that's a turnoff? Is it maybe too vanilla?

It's very generic, but if it truly reflects you then leave it as it is."

This, for me there is nothing that catches my imagination as in standing out from the crowd.

Your profile is your shop window to getting people to notice you.

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By *armandwet50Couple
over a year ago

Manchester

"Thanks so much for your replies! Would you mind taking a minute to read my profile and let me know if I've put something on there that's a turnoff? Is it maybe too vanilla? "

Are you vanilla? It needs to say what you are

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some days just to many Messages to answer..

or we just come on to go on forums ..

we have also started to chat to a few and then they disappear.. waste of time ...

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By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire

You could do well on here if your profile was a bit more interesting. For example why describe yourself in the first sentence, when all of that information is above.

One profile I read had one sentence, but it was very funny, this guy also had loads of really good pictures as well. He’s a regular on the forums, so he has presence on the site. The outcome, Meets and verified as a great guy in real life as well.

Put in the work, create a decent profile, contribute to the forums and use this site as it was intended as a social meeting place for likeminded people and you could get some interest

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thank you all for the constructive feedback! I'll work on my profile and find that balance of being more desirable without coming across as sleazy! Tips are always welcome!

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By *ENGUYMan
over a year ago

Hull

OP.

It's standard on here. Don't forget that a lot of ladies on here get swamped with MANY messages each day.

Thus, it's much easier for them to view the sender's profile first and make a judgement whether to justify reading the message in turn or not.

Don't take it personally but move on.

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By *tephTV67TV/TS
over a year ago

Cheshire

"Thank you all for the constructive feedback! I'll work on my profile and find that balance of being more desirable without coming across as sleazy! Tips are always welcome!"

I hope you do, too many guys ask for help and don’t take the advice.

One tip - use the timer on your phone to take photos, selfies look lazy.

Women often look at a profile and think if it looks cobbled together, they’re not taking the site seriously so any meet arranged could be a waste of time. A guy with a well thought out profile comes across as more genuine on first impressions. So more likely to turn up at a meeting and not waste their time.

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By *xfordshireCoupleMFCouple
over a year ago

Nr. Oxford

"Thank you all for the constructive feedback! I'll work on my profile and find that balance of being more desirable without coming across as sleazy! Tips are always welcome!"

We feel a lot of men add interested in couples but then add nothing about what they are looking for with a couple. Makes us feel like they aren’t really interested in couples but just keeping options open. Also we would love to see more pictures.

Lily

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By *pider-WomanWoman
over a year ago

Exeter, Bristol, Plymouth, Truro

I always look at a profile first, the user name and avatar picture will normally decide if I read the message or not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always read the profile first before deciding whether to read the message. If there's something I don't like in the profile, I don't read the message (I'll wait a week or two before deleting though, so the sender forgets about me.... I'm not stone cold hearted

Your profile reads fine, nice picture (sensational mouth and figure!), though the first one is a little....odd.... but it's fine and would get me to open the message..... unless you're one of the "how's you" crew

Make the first line interesting as it can be seen without opening the message

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 12/06/20 20:45:13]

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thank you for the compliments

I was going for a ‘sunglasses effect’ rather than a smiley face or a black bar but I’ll try something else.

Oh didn’t realise the first line could be previewed, thank you!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks for the tip on pictures! I have my tripod at the ready!

At first I didn’t want to come across as trying too hard but am starting to see this does need to be treated more like a dating app in order to attract interest

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It’s frustrating when you’ve put effort into a message and it’s ignored. I showed my frustration in my update earlier and then got a message telling me I’m a whiner ??. Ain’t life great

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By *eah BabyCouple
over a year ago

Cheshire, Windermere ,Cumbria

If it’s a couple then maybe one read it but leaving it to their partner to respond so marked it unread....maybe

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By *orticiaWoman
over a year ago

Wirral

"Thanks for the tip on pictures! I have my tripod at the ready!

At first I didn’t want to come across as trying too hard but am starting to see this does need to be treated more like a dating app in order to attract interest "

To me, your profile comes over like a dating profile & that would make me hit delete in a heartbeat.

If you want someone to be interested, to meet you, then what’s in it for them? What do you bring to the party other than sensual massage (like a million other guys in here!). Why should they lick you over the other 99 guys in their inbox?

It’s your shop window, your swinging CV. What’s your USP?!

If you’re looking to swing, search for the various ‘profile advice’ threads & have a look at some of the profiles of the guys giving advice. They will be the successful ones.

But if you’re looking to hook up with a regular play partner, your profile is probably fine

Good luck!

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By *llaboutthewifeCouple
over a year ago

Cardiff

Sounds more genuine than lots I have read, add some more pics, torso pics doesn't have to be face, the first pic is not great, its poor quality and grainy

Good luck

Jo x

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