FabSwingers.com forum: BDSM advice and tips

By *elshToy OP Man
over a year ago

London

Hello fabbers hope you're all well on this fine evening.

I have some questions regarding how to start off/getting into BDSM/Kinks

I would see my role as dominant

I've tried restrains, gags, blindfold , ect ect the very basics and I enjoy it a lot. So my question to you is

Can you give a young man some advice on how to get into it all properly and what websites are good/bad.

Thank you,just a curious man no abuse please X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think people can write other sites on here, but if you google fetish sites, you'll find the main ones

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sent a private message to you.

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By *ncutgemMan
over a year ago

Bath ish

This is not something others can teach you

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By *elshToy OP Man
over a year ago

London

So how do I go about learning it myself?

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By *adeiteWoman
over a year ago

Staffordshire

"So how do I go about learning it myself?"

Lots of research, go to munches and bdsm clubs when they reopen.

Read a book called screw the roses, send me the thorns.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"So how do I go about learning it myself?"

I'm going to disagree with the poster you're replying to. It very much is something you can learn from other people by observing, talking, reading and practice. Nobody is launched into BDSM fully aware of the protocols and the way to go about things they learn from other people, especially their partners.

Have a look for some books "Screw The Roses Send Me The Thorns" is a good starting point. Mix with people who welcome you and want to share their knowledge.

Good luck and enjoy the journey.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"So how do I go about learning it myself?

Lots of research, go to munches and bdsm clubs when they reopen.

Read a book called screw the roses, send me the thorns. "

Snap!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This is not something others can teach you

Others can teach you. I've had some excellent guidance when learning domming techniques.

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By *he_virgin_maryWoman
over a year ago

Here, there and everywhere!

I'd suggest attending as many munches as possible

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By *hoenixcouplexxCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

have a Google youll find some very useful websites.

You can't teach a dominant nature but yiu very much can learn the skills required.

Research, read everything you can lay your hands on and decide what is useful to you and what's not and surround yourself with people with knowledge. Munches, London alt market and Birmingham bizzare bazzar are all worth a look.

Good luck

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By *nforcer68Man
over a year ago

leeds

Google fetish sites there are a couple of main ones which I am sure those who dm'd you told you.

As to how far you want to get into the kink scene depends on how natural you are at domination. It's not about fear or pain or even what you want. Your sub tells you where they want to go and it is your job to take them there safely.

We all Dom in a different way but as a Dom it is your job to make sure your sub is safe at all times and you are there for them not your own ego.

Always remember somebody's submission is a gift. Play with it, stretch it, push it's boundaries a little but always respect it and return it unharmed.

Read up on sub drop and aftercare. One of the most important parts on being a Dom is knowing how to end a scene safely and respectfully.

Good luck and if you ever want to dm me please feel free

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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago

Burnleyish (She/They)

"This is not something others can teach you"

Total crap.

Everyone has to learn, regardless of their particular focus of BDSM (don't forget, those four letters cover a huge amount of scenarios, fetishes and situations).

It would be helpful to know what specific areas you're looking to grow in.

I'm asking because my advice is twofold.

First. Read, read everything you can about your chosen avenues, you have to learn and educate yourself. If you're looking about the physical aspects of bdsm (impact play, restraints etc) also learn about the physiological impact of those things. How safe it is to be restrained in position x. Where you can cause damage by hitting area y.

I have a decent list of books and websites I'd suggest but it would be helpful if you could narrow it down to areas of interest.

Second. Find like minded people to talk to. Find your closest munches and events. Especially those with worships. LAMchester and The Birmingham Bizzare Bazzar are two good ones (LAM and LAMchester are doing online workshops at the moment, so that's a great start!)

Feel free to say what your interested in here, or drop me a PM.

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

Old Native American saying.

“You can talk about hunting bison; you can dream about hunting bison, until you have hunted bison... you know nothing.”

Don’t ask, find a submissive lady, she will teach you.

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Find what is right for you by following your interests, learning what you can from others, which can help prevent learning the hard way, then developing your expertise and passion with people who share compatibility with you.

You'll likely be more comfortable and relaxed as you learn and develop mutual trust with the right partners, after learning and refining your expertise. You don't learn to fly by reading but studying also allows you to reflect on the whole process. You'll generate your own ideas too. People prefer honesty, rather than something who thinks he's in charge and knows it all.

Have fun!

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