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"Yes it's wrong but yes it's a way of keeping the marriage healthy when the spark sometimes goes awol" Bollocks. | |||
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"Yes it's wrong but yes it's a way of keeping the marriage healthy when the spark sometimes goes awol" Or is it a selfish and cowardly option to kid yourself? | |||
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"Yes it's wrong but yes it's a way of keeping the marriage healthy when the spark sometimes goes awol" Bet you wouldn't be saying that if you found your misses on here  | |||
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Who's to say what's right and wrong, walk a mile in those shoes and all that x | |||
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"Makes me laugh the amount of judgemental and hypocritical people who have commented on this thread! We are human beings, monogamy is a very rare thing in the animal world. We all have sexual urges, some more than others, and its a real world out there... I'm not condoning it, but wouldn't judge others for cheating xx"  | |||
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"Makes me laugh the amount of judgemental and hypocritical people who have commented on this thread! We are human beings, monogamy is a very rare thing in the animal world. We all have sexual urges, some more than others, and its a real world out there... I'm not condoning it, but wouldn't judge others for cheating xx" yes it is very rare.. but animals don't lie about it... they do it brazenly and openly... and certainly wouldn't go sneaking about just to get a peice of tail... | |||
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"omg blocked tears of joy " One less judgemental person to worry about then! | |||
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"Makes me laugh the amount of judgemental and hypocritical people who have commented on this thread! We are human beings, monogamy is a very rare thing in the animal world. We all have sexual urges, some more than others, and its a real world out there... I'm not condoning it, but wouldn't judge others for cheating xx" So what you are saying is we have no free will? We are just like animals in that they have no morals? AND.. You wouldn't judge someone for cheating on an unsuspecting partner, but you have judged people on this thread who don't hold your _iews?.. Oh the irony!
Post 2
"Everyone has a reason for cheating when they do it's just a case of if u think the reason is valid to u and that's a personal and subjective thing to every individual Who's to say what's right and wrong, walk a mile in those shoes and all that x ". Everyone has a reason for cheating?? I don't! But you are obviously someone who makes excuses for inexcusable actions! I can see no reason to cheat, if it's not working, leave! "But I love her/him" Bollox, if you did, you wouldn't cheat! I'll tell you what is right and what is wrong, seeing as your morals need a dusting! What's right is those who have problems and either try to sort them out or leave! I'll tell you what's wrong? Anyone, yes anyone who professes to love someone but takes an action that could destroy that same person! It's OK Fabio, I'll take the hit this time!  | |||
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" It's OK Fabio, I'll take the hit this time! "Why would you get banned for that post? I think it's all fair comment and what you believe. I may... or may not... agree or disagree with what you said there. But you haven't 'badmouthed' anyone, it's your opinion and surely you are free to express an opinion? | |||
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" It's OK Fabio, I'll take the hit this time!
Why would you get banned for that post? I think it's all fair comment and what you believe. I may... or may not... agree or disagree with what you said there. But you haven't 'badmouthed' anyone, it's your opinion and surely you are free to express an opinion? "I know hunny, it was a joke! I have been banned for less! lol  | |||
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" It's OK Fabio, I'll take the hit this time!
Why would you get banned for that post? I think it's all fair comment and what you believe. I may... or may not... agree or disagree with what you said there. But you haven't 'badmouthed' anyone, it's your opinion and surely you are free to express an opinion? "No one has ever been banned for expressing an opinion. People have been banned for breaking rules when expressing an opinion though....but that is a different thing altogether. | |||
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"peeps calm yourselves. . . . I wasn't looking to be start a riot. Just merely voicing my minds thoughts "As are other people... | |||
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" It's OK Fabio, I'll take the hit this time!
Why would you get banned for that post? I think it's all fair comment and what you believe. I may... or may not... agree or disagree with what you said there. But you haven't 'badmouthed' anyone, it's your opinion and surely you are free to express an opinion?
No one has ever been banned for expressing an opinion.
People have been banned for breaking rules when expressing an opinion though....but that is a different thing altogether."IMO i like ur tits | |||
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"No one has ever been banned for expressing an opinion. People have been banned for breaking rules when expressing an opinion though....but that is a different thing altogether." Err... But this is neither the time or the place lol | |||
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"No one has ever been banned for expressing an opinion. People have been banned for breaking rules when expressing an opinion though....but that is a different thing altogether. Err... But this is neither the time or the place lol "For answering a general comment? I think if people bring things up and comment, then it must be the right time to comment back. | |||
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" It's OK Fabio, I'll take the hit this time!
Why would you get banned for that post? I think it's all fair comment and what you believe. I may... or may not... agree or disagree with what you said there. But you haven't 'badmouthed' anyone, it's your opinion and surely you are free to express an opinion?
No one has ever been banned for expressing an opinion.
People have been banned for breaking rules when expressing an opinion though....but that is a different thing altogether.
IMO i like ur tits"lol ta  | |||
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"Yes it's wrong but yes it's a way of keeping the marriage healthy when the spark sometimes goes awol" I don't care what married people do ith their lives and it isn't any of my buisness nor do I need to know why....but personally I think that is a contradiction in itself....how can a marriage be healthy if someone is cheating on his or her spouse? | |||
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"Yes it's wrong but yes it's a way of keeping the marriage healthy when the spark sometimes goes awol I don't care what married people do ith their lives and it isn't any of my buisness nor do I need to know why....but personally I think that is a contradiction in itself....how can a marriage be healthy if someone is cheating on his or her spouse?" Many from a non swinging community would say exactly the same about swinging. I know many who presume a man lets people sleep with his wife because the marriage is failing. Relationships are far too complex in reality for someone on the outside to be in a position to understand fully. | |||
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"Yes it's wrong but yes it's a way of keeping the marriage healthy when the spark sometimes goes awol I don't care what married people do ith their lives and it isn't any of my buisness nor do I need to know why....but personally I think that is a contradiction in itself....how can a marriage be healthy if someone is cheating on his or her spouse? Many from a non swinging community would say exactly the same about swinging. I know many who presume a man lets people sleep with his wife because the marriage is failing. Relationships are far too complex in reality for someone on the outside to be in a position to understand fully." Don't get me wrong, I REALLY don't get into the married people cheating other than to say, it isn't my business and they don't need to justify anything to anyone but themselves....but I just can't see how cheating can make a marriage healthy. | |||
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" Many from a non swinging community would say exactly the same about swinging. I know many who presume a man lets people sleep with his wife because the marriage is failing. Relationships are far too complex in reality for someone on the outside to be in a position to understand fully." Having been on the receiving end of a cheating partner.... i personally can say its not that complex... when you are honest and open it works when people lie and cheat and hide things.. relationships are not healthy and are not going to work! | |||
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"Yes it's wrong but yes it's a way of keeping the marriage healthy when the spark sometimes goes awol I don't care what married people do ith their lives and it isn't any of my buisness nor do I need to know why....but personally I think that is a contradiction in itself....how can a marriage be healthy if someone is cheating on his or her spouse? Many from a non swinging community would say exactly the same about swinging. I know many who presume a man lets people sleep with his wife because the marriage is failing. Relationships are far too complex in reality for someone on the outside to be in a position to understand fully. Don't get me wrong, I REALLY don't get into the married people cheating other than to say, it isn't my business and they don't need to justify anything to anyone but themselves....but I just can't see how cheating can make a marriage healthy." It doesn't make it healthy but each to their own, I'm not here to judge anyone just have fun with those I chose who want to see me | |||
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"Yes it's wrong but yes it's a way of keeping the marriage healthy when the spark sometimes goes awol I don't care what married people do ith their lives and it isn't any of my buisness nor do I need to know why....but personally I think that is a contradiction in itself....how can a marriage be healthy if someone is cheating on his or her spouse? Many from a non swinging community would say exactly the same about swinging. I know many who presume a man lets people sleep with his wife because the marriage is failing. Relationships are far too complex in reality for someone on the outside to be in a position to understand fully. Don't get me wrong, I REALLY don't get into the married people cheating other than to say, it isn't my business and they don't need to justify anything to anyone but themselves....but I just can't see how cheating can make a marriage healthy." I have talked to people and tried to get my head round it and it made me look at what marriage is. The general public would say exactly the same about people bringing someone else into a sexual relationship with one or both partners. It makes you question what exactly is a marriage, it makes you look at sexual and non sexual relationships. The conclusion I have come to though is in some marriages when one partner is seeking sex out of it when the partner has gone off it and often knows it can make the marriage work. Relationships are complex, we often question how others can be happy yet there will always be people who look at our situation and question how we can be happy. It did make me realise one thing though and that swingers are some of the least tolerant and most judgemental people about which is a little disappointing. | |||
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"Makes me laugh the amount of judgemental and hypocritical people who have commented on this thread! We are human beings, monogamy is a very rare thing in the animal world. We all have sexual urges, some more than others, and its a real world out there... I'm not condoning it, but wouldn't judge others for cheating xx" The way the opening post is worded the OP was only ever going to get a thread condoning or condemning him. And he was never going to be condoned by the majority on here | |||
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"Yes it's wrong but yes it's a way of keeping the marriage healthy when the spark sometimes goes awol I don't care what married people do ith their lives and it isn't any of my buisness nor do I need to know why....but personally I think that is a contradiction in itself....how can a marriage be healthy if someone is cheating on his or her spouse? Many from a non swinging community would say exactly the same about swinging. I know many who presume a man lets people sleep with his wife because the marriage is failing. Relationships are far too complex in reality for someone on the outside to be in a position to understand fully. Don't get me wrong, I REALLY don't get into the married people cheating other than to say, it isn't my business and they don't need to justify anything to anyone but themselves....but I just can't see how cheating can make a marriage healthy. I have talked to people and tried to get my head round it and it made me look at what marriage is. The general public would say exactly the same about people bringing someone else into a sexual relationship with one or both partners. It makes you question what exactly is a marriage, it makes you look at sexual and non sexual relationships. The conclusion I have come to though is in some marriages when one partner is seeking sex out of it when the partner has gone off it and often knows it can make the marriage work. Relationships are complex, we often question how others can be happy yet there will always be people who look at our situation and question how we can be happy. It did make me realise one thing though and that swingers are some of the least tolerant and most judgemental people about which is a little disappointing. " Well said | |||
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phew every1's friends again mental note to self next forum post . . . . Keep to self lol | |||
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"Yes it's wrong but yes it's a way of keeping the marriage healthy when the spark sometimes goes awol I don't care what married people do ith their lives and it isn't any of my buisness nor do I need to know why....but personally I think that is a contradiction in itself....how can a marriage be healthy if someone is cheating on his or her spouse? Many from a non swinging community would say exactly the same about swinging. I know many who presume a man lets people sleep with his wife because the marriage is failing. Relationships are far too complex in reality for someone on the outside to be in a position to understand fully." | |||
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"Yes it's wrong but yes it's a way of keeping the marriage healthy when the spark sometimes goes awol I don't care what married people do ith their lives and it isn't any of my buisness nor do I need to know why....but personally I think that is a contradiction in itself....how can a marriage be healthy if someone is cheating on his or her spouse? Many from a non swinging community would say exactly the same about swinging. I know many who presume a man lets people sleep with his wife because the marriage is failing. Relationships are far too complex in reality for someone on the outside to be in a position to understand fully. Don't get me wrong, I REALLY don't get into the married people cheating other than to say, it isn't my business and they don't need to justify anything to anyone but themselves....but I just can't see how cheating can make a marriage healthy. It doesn't make it healthy but each to their own, I'm not here to judge anyone just have fun with those I chose who want to see me "I am not trying to judge, just trying to understand what people mean by it. | |||
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"Yes it's wrong but yes it's a way of keeping the marriage healthy when the spark sometimes goes awol I don't care what married people do ith their lives and it isn't any of my buisness nor do I need to know why....but personally I think that is a contradiction in itself....how can a marriage be healthy if someone is cheating on his or her spouse? Many from a non swinging community would say exactly the same about swinging. I know many who presume a man lets people sleep with his wife because the marriage is failing. Relationships are far too complex in reality for someone on the outside to be in a position to understand fully. Don't get me wrong, I REALLY don't get into the married people cheating other than to say, it isn't my business and they don't need to justify anything to anyone but themselves....but I just can't see how cheating can make a marriage healthy. I have talked to people and tried to get my head round it and it made me look at what marriage is. The general public would say exactly the same about people bringing someone else into a sexual relationship with one or both partners. It makes you question what exactly is a marriage, it makes you look at sexual and non sexual relationships. The conclusion I have come to though is in some marriages when one partner is seeking sex out of it when the partner has gone off it and often knows it can make the marriage work. Relationships are complex, we often question how others can be happy yet there will always be people who look at our situation and question how we can be happy. It did make me realise one thing though and that swingers are some of the least tolerant and most judgemental people about which is a little disappointing. " Like you I can only guess too...which isn't really what I am after. It would be good to get an answer from someone who is living it and give us an insight into what they mean. I know of a woman who meets a married man, they have sex, he goes back to his wife. It turns out the wife knows and turns a blind eye, even phoned the woman and told her, and as long as they don't rub her face in it she is still turning a blind eye as she has no sex drive and he makes her happy when he is there. Now I can half understand this as I am guessing lots of women / men turn a blind eye...but I am still not sure cheating can be healthy if people don't know what is going on. | |||
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"My other half has no interst in sex at all yet I am a raving nympho He doesn't openly know what I do but also gives me time and space to be alone We have children and apart from sex our lives r perfect so why ruin what we have just for a decent shag now and again? Does that make sence? "its not perfect if u have to lie, sorry just a basic fact this is me not saying I dont play with married women playing away, but I dont think anyone should disguise it other than deception, I'm at risk if a hubby found out(and possibly the other men),but i know its casual sex....a deceived spouse will never see it that way...so u know the risks of that to ur life and family *also reverse this into a generic message to men who are unfaithful lol...dont mean to center | |||
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"My other half has no interst in sex at all yet I am a raving nympho He doesn't openly know what I do but also gives me time and space to be alone We have children and apart from sex our lives r perfect so why ruin what we have just for a decent shag now and again? Does that make sence? "It makes perfect sense to me. There are many different reasons for these situations, not the one reason that people always assume the first. Xx | |||
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"Yes it's wrong but yes it's a way of keeping the marriage healthy when the spark sometimes goes awol I don't care what married people do ith their lives and it isn't any of my buisness nor do I need to know why....but personally I think that is a contradiction in itself....how can a marriage be healthy if someone is cheating on his or her spouse? Many from a non swinging community would say exactly the same about swinging. I know many who presume a man lets people sleep with his wife because the marriage is failing. Relationships are far too complex in reality for someone on the outside to be in a position to understand fully." exactly  | |||
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"My other half has no interst in sex at all yet I am a raving nympho He doesn't openly know what I do but also gives me time and space to be alone We have children and apart from sex our lives r perfect so why ruin what we have just for a decent shag now and again? Does that make sence? "Yes,all is perfect you say...but would your hubby think so if he did know you were on here? I had what I thought was the perfect marriage,even a good sex life...until I found out about hubby playing away...it tore my heart out.and it was just after the birth of our twins aswell and the first few months of their lives is just a massive blur to me,something I will never forgive him for...so before all get on their high horses about the people not cheating being judgemental,maybe just maybe have a look at what the consequences could be to your perfect happy lives and how much pain the unknowing party would be caused should they find out... | |||
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"I am going to refrain from commenting i think! "Ah go on - ya know you want to!!!! Lol! | |||
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"Yes,all is perfect you say...but would your hubby think so if he did know you were on here? I had what I thought was the perfect marriage,even a good sex life...until I found out about hubby playing away...it tore my heart out.and it was just after the birth of our twins aswell and the first few months of their lives is just a massive blur to me,something I will never forgive him for...so before all get on their high horses about the people not cheating being judgemental,maybe just maybe have a look at what the consequences could be to your perfect happy lives and how much pain the unknowing party would be caused should they find out..." Agree with the above. When my ex had not just an affair, but fell in lobe with another guy, it wasn't the sex that got to me at all (never even gave it a thought) - it was the deceit - end of. If the OP's husband has totally gone off sex, and if you still love him, the least you should do is try to talk about the situation and make the effort to sort that out FIRST before launching into the swinging world. Maybe I am just old fashioned, but it save a LOT of hurt emotionally AND financially down the line - been there, done that, got the 3 piece suit!!!!!!! Think about it....... | |||
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"Just wanted to add another spin to this Post. I was contacted by a man who stated he was single on his profile and on several messages confirmed he was single. I did as the question again and he then admitted he was married playing away without wife's knowledge. I politely declined to meet him as this is my choice. He then sat in judgement on me declaring I was on this site for sex and I was shallow to decline meeting him. So to be honest folks seems one can never win so I just keep to my choices and leave others to their choices. Keep smiling everyone as it is a lovely sunny day xxxxxxxxxx" As a GENUINELY single guy on here, there is one very simple rule to apply - if he says he is single and doesn't say he can accommodate - he ain't single!!!!! Your guy may well have said he could accom, but I bet there's an odds-on chance he didn't...... Just a thought if it helps in the future..... | |||
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"Just wanted to add another spin to this Post. I was contacted by a man who stated he was single on his profile and on several messages confirmed he was single. I did as the question again and he then admitted he was married playing away without wife's knowledge. I politely declined to meet him as this is my choice. He then sat in judgement on me declaring I was on this site for sex and I was shallow to decline meeting him. So to be honest folks seems one can never win so I just keep to my choices and leave others to their choices. Keep smiling everyone as it is a lovely sunny day xxxxxxxxxx As a GENUINELY single guy on here, there is one very simple rule to apply - if he says he is single and doesn't say he can accommodate - he ain't single!!!!! Your guy may well have said he could accom, but I bet there's an odds-on chance he didn't...... Just a thought if it helps in the future....." Sorry Pman thats not true. People have other reasons why they dont accomodate. Im single and I dont accomodate so whats the difference. | |||
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" As a GENUINELY single guy on here, there is one very simple rule to apply - if he says he is single and doesn't say he can accommodate - he ain't single!!!!! ." Unless of course he is!
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"Just wanted to add another spin to this Post. I was contacted by a man who stated he was single on his profile and on several messages confirmed he was single. I did as the question again and he then admitted he was married playing away without wife's knowledge. I politely declined to meet him as this is my choice. He then sat in judgement on me declaring I was on this site for sex and I was shallow to decline meeting him. So to be honest folks seems one can never win so I just keep to my choices and leave others to their choices. Keep smiling everyone as it is a lovely sunny day xxxxxxxxxx As a GENUINELY single guy on here, there is one very simple rule to apply - if he says he is single and doesn't say he can accommodate - he ain't single!!!!! Your guy may well have said he could accom, but I bet there's an odds-on chance he didn't...... Just a thought if it helps in the future....." sorry but your statement about being single and not being able to accom means he is married is bollox !!! there are alot of people on here male and female who can't !!! Me being one of them, and the reason I can't all the time is that my 84 year old mother lives with me. So don't be to quick to judge and with a little chatting you will be able to tell who is real and who is fake. | |||
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"Just wanted to add another spin to this Post. I was contacted by a man who stated he was single on his profile and on several messages confirmed he was single. I did as the question again and he then admitted he was married playing away without wife's knowledge. I politely declined to meet him as this is my choice. He then sat in judgement on me declaring I was on this site for sex and I was shallow to decline meeting him. So to be honest folks seems one can never win so I just keep to my choices and leave others to their choices. Keep smiling everyone as it is a lovely sunny day xxxxxxxxxx As a GENUINELY single guy on here, there is one very simple rule to apply - if he says he is single and doesn't say he can accommodate - he ain't single!!!!! Your guy may well have said he could accom, but I bet there's an odds-on chance he didn't...... Just a thought if it helps in the future..... sorry but your statement about being single and not being able to accom means he is married is bollox !!! there are alot of people on here male and female who can't !!! Me being one of them, and the reason I can't all the time is that my 84 year old mother lives with me. So don't be to quick to judge and with a little chatting you will be able to tell who is real and who is fake. "Yes, take your point, but with the greatest respect you DO have a genuine reason for not being able to accom, so in your position I would state that in my profile (not all the details obviously) and be up front with it from the word go. The lady who posed the original question is single and, as you and I know, single girls are deluged with PM's and they have to have some way to filter out the possible fakes and players. One of my 'preferences' is MMF 3somes and the ability to prove you are really single is very important to the couples I have swung with, and the 'able to accom' thing is the easiest quick check. | |||
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" As a GENUINELY single guy on here, there is one very simple rule to apply - if he says he is single and doesn't say he can accommodate - he ain't single!!!!! One of my 'preferences' is MMF 3somes and the ability to prove you are really single is very important to the couples I have swung with, and the 'able to accom' thing is the easiest quick check." I know the whole group, 'single men' are tarred as liars and cheats on here, but I have to object to the sweeping generalization your making. It may be easy or quick to assume that can't accommodate equals married, but it isn't accurate, I can't say how many men who say they are single aren't but would hope It's a minority. Please only speak for yourself, unless of course you actually have a mandate to speak for the whole sex.
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"My other half has no interst in sex at all yet I am a raving nympho He doesn't openly know what I do but also gives me time and space to be alone We have children and apart from sex our lives r perfect so why ruin what we have just for a decent shag now and again? Does that make sence?
It makes perfect sense to me. There are many different reasons for these situations, not the one reason that people always assume the first. Xx"I was just wondering why the OP (and possibly other people who might think it) used the word "healthy" for someone to play away. I am not interested in anyones reasons of why they play away as that is their business and I don't need to know....I was just trying to understand why it could be deemed healthy. | |||
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"My other half has no interst in sex at all yet I am a raving nympho He doesn't openly know what I do but also gives me time and space to be alone We have children and apart from sex our lives r perfect so why ruin what we have just for a decent shag now and again? Does that make sence? "Ah, lightbulb moment.....If you are saying that your secret life is making you stay sane so the rest of your marraige is better because you play away , then yes, it sort of makes sense. But...you did say up there that you don't think it is healthy... | |||
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"Yes it's wrong but yes it's a way of keeping the marriage healthy when the spark sometimes goes awol I don't care what married people do ith their lives and it isn't any of my buisness nor do I need to know why....but personally I think that is a contradiction in itself....how can a marriage be healthy if someone is cheating on his or her spouse? Many from a non swinging community would say exactly the same about swinging. I know many who presume a man lets people sleep with his wife because the marriage is failing. Relationships are far too complex in reality for someone on the outside to be in a position to understand fully. Don't get me wrong, I REALLY don't get into the married people cheating other than to say, it isn't my business and they don't need to justify anything to anyone but themselves....but I just can't see how cheating can make a marriage healthy. I have talked to people and tried to get my head round it and it made me look at what marriage is. The general public would say exactly the same about people bringing someone else into a sexual relationship with one or both partners. It makes you question what exactly is a marriage, it makes you look at sexual and non sexual relationships. The conclusion I have come to though is in some marriages when one partner is seeking sex out of it when the partner has gone off it and often knows it can make the marriage work. Relationships are complex, we often question how others can be happy yet there will always be people who look at our situation and question how we can be happy. It did make me realise one thing though and that swingers are some of the least tolerant and most judgemental people about which is a little disappointing. Like you I can only guess too...which isn't really what I am after. It would be good to get an answer from someone who is living it and give us an insight into what they mean. I know of a woman who meets a married man, they have sex, he goes back to his wife. It turns out the wife knows and turns a blind eye, even phoned the woman and told her, and as long as they don't rub her face in it she is still turning a blind eye as she has no sex drive and he makes her happy when he is there. Now I can half understand this as I am guessing lots of women / men turn a blind eye...but I am still not sure cheating can be healthy if people don't know what is going on." To add to that - I have a very close friend who is married. His wife is housebound and in near constant pain. He is her full time carer and wouldn't dream of leaving her or having an affair. However, once a month or so we meet up for lunch, he comes to London or I go to Milton Keynes, or we take in a West End show and have dinner afterwards. His wife is absolutely thrilled to bits, because she recognises it makes him happy and in turn it makes her happy as she realises he has a pretty "grim" existance. They have a shared computer, he doesn't have a password on his account, he saves my messages to him, she is free to read them but she never does I don't think because (a) the email address he sends mail from is her's and I reply in the same. I can phone there - I seldom do unless it's to change plans at the last minute because he doen'st have a mobile. His wife know he has a little crush on me but knows it's not reciprocated - he really is a friend that I enjoy spending a few hours with to enjoy our shared interest. I'm sure there are many couples on here who would not tolerate a friendship such as mine or be happy with the money spent. Theatre boxes for West End shows and dinner afterwards is not cheap. However, our "relationship" is carried out with the full knowledge of his wife and I personally, knowing that wouldn't allow it to be anything more than it is. I can cope with his clumsy attempts at flirting - bless him - but he's soon reigned in and threatened with the end of the friendship if he continues. It's a friendship that has been going strong for five years and it works for all concerned. Would I be as "tolerant" as his wife?!! Hmmmmmmm...  | |||
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" If the OP's husband has totally gone off sex, and if you still love him, the least you should do is try to talk about the situation and make the effort to sort that out FIRST before launching into the swinging world. ......." How do you know people havn't done that? No one knows other peoples lives and what goes on in it. | |||
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"Just wanted to add another spin to this Post. I was contacted by a man who stated he was single on his profile and on several messages confirmed he was single. I did as the question again and he then admitted he was married playing away without wife's knowledge. I politely declined to meet him as this is my choice. He then sat in judgement on me declaring I was on this site for sex and I was shallow to decline meeting him. So to be honest folks seems one can never win so I just keep to my choices and leave others to their choices. Keep smiling everyone as it is a lovely sunny day xxxxxxxxxx As a GENUINELY single guy on here, there is one very simple rule to apply - if he says he is single and doesn't say he can accommodate - he ain't single!!!!! Your guy may well have said he could accom, but I bet there's an odds-on chance he didn't...... Just a thought if it helps in the future....." Whilst I don't meet men that can't accommodate I don't necessarily think it's because they're married, I don't meet them because they usually want to keep their home sacrosant, but want to come to mine. One cheeky sod even asked if he could "invite a friend" - I said sure...we can go to your house! Never heard from him again. If my ex husband were on here he couldn't accommodate - not because he's married and cheating, but he's just moved in with his 89 year old mother to be her carer. She lives in a one bed flat and he sleeps on a sofa bed in the front room. He has an empty four bed house but I don't think someone would be impressed sleeping on floorboards! So not all single men that can't accommodate are married. | |||
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" Would I be as "tolerant" as his wife?!! Hmmmmmmm... "Hmmmm tough one....In that situation I can understand her accepting if it was sex he was getting from someone they trust....but the fact he is getting close to someone else would be a concern for me. | |||
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" Would I be as "tolerant" as his wife?!! Hmmmmmmm...
Hmmmm tough one....In that situation I can understand her accepting if it was sex he was getting from someone they trust....but the fact he is getting close to someone else would be a concern for me."I think what makes it easier for her Ruggers is there's a 25 year age difference. Not many 51 year old women are looking to poach 76 year old men. That said, I can't answer honestly if I would be as "tolerant". | |||
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and single guy that we all respected wasn't single after all.... he was married....
and on the tuesday she must have been going thru everything... and found out about his "secret" life on the site.....
she came on the site.... and it is something that will stick with me forever... the pain, the anger, the venom...
it wasn't nice to see.. but it brought home the harsh truth and to some a reality in what they were potentially doing.. or creating....
there are people who think they are bulletproof... but you don't think of the consequences...
she was a true innocent victim...
and this is what I don't get....
see... i could almost understand if it happened on a saturday night out in town.. blame the flirting, blame the alcohol, blame taking it one step too far...
but... a swinging site.... that is a cold, calculating decision....
I am not going to lie... I've been cheated on... It like banjax basically crushed me....
so should I have thought she was being "selfless" in her acts while she was with me??? wow.... what a trooper eh???
not quite the reaction I had When I found out... and when she wanted me to take her back I uttered something that I wish I could do more often... be really quick and cutting with a reply...
"you obviously weren't thinking of me while you were fucking him!"
last words I ever said to her.....
I doubt that anyone will quote banjax's story.... or will quote mine... or the lady whose husband died.... but the stories have to be told for balance in the tread......
finding out does crush the people you say you profess to love more than any other..... fact!!!!
finding out can lead to the very thing happened that you feared the most..... fact!!!!
lets not forget who the true "victims" are here.......
I am out......
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"If that were me,,, and my husband/ partner had died unexpectedly, and I found that he had been 'playing away' I'd be questioning why he hadn't been able to express his wants and needs within our relationship! Yes, it's tragic for her... But... And a BIG But! What we cannot do is generalise on this subject as we are all different. I 'play away' as my husband has got multiple sclerosis and cannot physically have sex or pleasure me. We have openly and honestly discussed this and he appreciates my basic need for sex. Do not judge or point at others unless your fingers are clean!! Xx" but your not cheating... your not playing behind his back you are honest with him... nothing wrong with that! | |||
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"But cheating really doesn't work I knwo it's hard but you must put all your cards on the table and really open up to your partner. And for those out there that are just cheating for the sex and there are lots of you !!! you will be found out and she/he will kill you !!! "+1 to that..... | |||
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"Yes it's wrong but yes it's a way of keeping the marriage healthy when the spark sometimes goes awol" do you mean as a couple swinging togeather? or for 1 to go off and swing alone? As the ex wife of a lone swinger (or cheat as i like to call him) i can safely say that it didnt keep my marriage healthy, it infact broke my heart and led to my family breaking up and a divorce | |||
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"after a night on sitting down... reading the thread... sleeping on it... I am going to say a few things.... I am so glad that banjax was so honest in his story..... I am going to talk about something similar... I knew a "single guy" from a another site, well respected... met him at a house party one saturday night... lovely person, wouldn't say a bad thing about him... anyway I get a frantic e-mail from a mod of that site on the monday morning asking me if he had been drinking... nope, just coffee and water all night..... why? he has been in a one-man accident on the motorway on the way back home from the party.... falling asleep at the wheel... he died in hospital.....
and single guy that we all respected wasn't single after all.... he was married....
and on the tuesday she must have been going thru everything... and found out about his "secret" life on the site.....
she came on the site.... and it is something that will stick with me forever... the pain, the anger, the venom...
it wasn't nice to see.. but it brought home the harsh truth and to some a reality in what they were potentially doing.. or creating....
there are people who think they are bulletproof... but you don't think of the consequences...
she was a true innocent victim...
and this is what I don't get....
see... i could almost understand if it happened on a saturday night out in town.. blame the flirting, blame the alcohol, blame taking it one step too far...
but... a swinging site.... that is a cold, calculating decision....
I am not going to lie... I've been cheated on... It like banjax basically crushed me....
so should I have thought she was being "selfless" in her acts while she was with me??? wow.... what a trooper eh???
not quite the reaction I had When I found out... and when she wanted me to take her back I uttered something that I wish I could do more often... be really quick and cutting with a reply...
"you obviously weren't thinking of me while you were fucking him!"
last words I ever said to her.....
I doubt that anyone will quote banjax's story.... or will quote mine... or the lady whose husband died.... but the stories have to be told for balance in the tread......
finding out does crush the people you say you profess to love more than any other..... fact!!!!
finding out can lead to the very thing happened that you feared the most..... fact!!!!
lets not forget who the true "victims" are here.......
I am out......
"
people do not think about the other half of a couple when they are playing away...I have been on the other end of angry phonecall from a wife of a"single guy" I met through swinging, she quickly realised I was not in the know but I was mortified that I had inadvertantly caused her pain....thank you once again for posting something so well put and frankly necessary to give as you said balance...xxx | |||
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"after a night on sitting down... reading the thread... sleeping on it... I am going to say a few things.... I am so glad that banjax was so honest in his story..... I am going to talk about something similar... I knew a "single guy" from a another site, well respected... met him at a house party one saturday night... lovely person, wouldn't say a bad thing about him... anyway I get a frantic e-mail from a mod of that site on the monday morning asking me if he had been drinking... nope, just coffee and water all night..... why? he has been in a one-man accident on the motorway on the way back home from the party.... falling asleep at the wheel... he died in hospital.....
and single guy that we all respected wasn't single after all.... he was married....
and on the tuesday she must have been going thru everything... and found out about his "secret" life on the site.....
she came on the site.... and it is something that will stick with me forever... the pain, the anger, the venom...
it wasn't nice to see.. but it brought home the harsh truth and to some a reality in what they were potentially doing.. or creating....
there are people who think they are bulletproof... but you don't think of the consequences...
she was a true innocent victim...
and this is what I don't get....
see... i could almost understand if it happened on a saturday night out in town.. blame the flirting, blame the alcohol, blame taking it one step too far...
but... a swinging site.... that is a cold, calculating decision....
I am not going to lie... I've been cheated on... It like banjax basically crushed me....
so should I have thought she was being "selfless" in her acts while she was with me??? wow.... what a trooper eh???
not quite the reaction I had When I found out... and when she wanted me to take her back I uttered something that I wish I could do more often... be really quick and cutting with a reply...
"you obviously weren't thinking of me while you were fucking him!"
last words I ever said to her.....
I doubt that anyone will quote banjax's story.... or will quote mine... or the lady whose husband died.... but the stories have to be told for balance in the tread......
finding out does crush the people you say you profess to love more than any other..... fact!!!!
finding out can lead to the very thing happened that you feared the most..... fact!!!!
lets not forget who the true "victims" are here.......
I am out......
"Fabio, with pleasure I will quote your story and acknowledge Banjaxs' too. Been there too. I swung in the 80's when swinging was very different to now. Then I enjoyed the 'honesty' (hard for many to understand) and liberation it gave me. Then I 'settled down' with someone who as far from my sexual equal who kept reading me the riot act about 'fidelity'.... and then 16 years in, SHE started sleeping with the local 'shit' and lying through her teeth to every one - even our kids! The relationship ended and after years of being constrained, I returned to swinging. There should be NO deceit in swinging - if you ARE deceiving anyone you have GOT to question your motives and your relationship with the one who, you are deceiving. As Fabio says (rightly in my _iew) this is a cold, calculating world, but if you get it right - the pay off can be huge. But you only get it right if you start off on the right foot - and that means with your current relationship - good or bad. Sort that one FIRST before you swinging or it can - no, it WILL - cost you dear...... | |||
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"after a night on sitting down... reading the thread... sleeping on it... I am going to say a few things.... I am so glad that banjax was so honest in his story..... I am going to talk about something similar... I knew a "single guy" from a another site, well respected... met him at a house party one saturday night... lovely person, wouldn't say a bad thing about him... anyway I get a frantic e-mail from a mod of that site on the monday morning asking me if he had been drinking... nope, just coffee and water all night..... why? he has been in a one-man accident on the motorway on the way back home from the party.... falling asleep at the wheel... he died in hospital.....
and single guy that we all respected wasn't single after all.... he was married....
and on the tuesday she must have been going thru everything... and found out about his "secret" life on the site.....
she came on the site.... and it is something that will stick with me forever... the pain, the anger, the venom...
it wasn't nice to see.. but it brought home the harsh truth and to some a reality in what they were potentially doing.. or creating....
there are people who think they are bulletproof... but you don't think of the consequences...
she was a true innocent victim...
and this is what I don't get....
see... i could almost understand if it happened on a saturday night out in town.. blame the flirting, blame the alcohol, blame taking it one step too far...
but... a swinging site.... that is a cold, calculating decision....
I am not going to lie... I've been cheated on... It like banjax basically crushed me....
so should I have thought she was being "selfless" in her acts while she was with me??? wow.... what a trooper eh???
not quite the reaction I had When I found out... and when she wanted me to take her back I uttered something that I wish I could do more often... be really quick and cutting with a reply...
"you obviously weren't thinking of me while you were fucking him!"
last words I ever said to her.....
I doubt that anyone will quote banjax's story.... or will quote mine... or the lady whose husband died.... but the stories have to be told for balance in the tread......
finding out does crush the people you say you profess to love more than any other..... fact!!!!
finding out can lead to the very thing happened that you feared the most..... fact!!!!
lets not forget who the true "victims" are here.......
I am out......
Fabio, with pleasure I will quote your story and acknowledge Banjaxs' too.
Been there too. I swung in the 80's when swinging was very different to now. Then I enjoyed the 'honesty' (hard for many to understand) and liberation it gave me.
Then I 'settled down' with someone who as far from my sexual equal who kept reading me the riot act about 'fidelity'.... and then 16 years in, SHE started sleeping with the local 'shit' and lying through her teeth to every one - even our kids!
The relationship ended and after years of being constrained, I returned to swinging. There should be NO deceit in swinging - if you ARE deceiving anyone you have GOT to question your motives and your relationship with the one who, you are deceiving.
As Fabio says (rightly in my _iew) this is a cold, calculating world, but if you get it right - the pay off can be huge. But you only get it right if you start off on the right foot - and that means with your current relationship - good or bad. Sort that one FIRST before you swinging or it can - no, it WILL - cost you dear......
"While I agree with your opinion, it still doesn't mean that all 'Single males' who say they can't accommodate are married though does it? | |||
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"While I agree with your opinion, it still doesn't mean that all 'Single males' who say they can't accommodate are married though does it? "We get it you aren't married fine. The problem is there are so many people on this site who try deceiving whether it be the married but not telling crowd to the "straight" bi-sexual people who ruin the experience for others. Some people will say they have to deceive to avoid being judged. Me I try and keep my nose clean and do the right thing as I wished were done to me. | |||
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"lets BE HONEST guys its in our genes to fuck all we can and thats never gonna change "I've highlighted the problem but will also say women stray too although I would hazard to guess the reasons would be a whole lot different as to why men cheat??? | |||
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"alot of bad vibes coming frm the one's who were cheated on,would love to know the percentage of women on here who really think their men wouldnt cheat if its put on a plate for them?? lets be honest guys its in our genes to fuck all we can and thats never gonna change "thatss like saying u'd fuck ur sister or ur mother becasue they are attractive...I think ur stuck in the Oedipus ideal of sex. | |||
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"lets BE HONEST guys its in our genes to fuck all we can and thats never gonna change
I've highlighted the problem but will also say women stray too although I would hazard to guess the reasons would be a whole lot different as to why men cheat???"I cheated on my ex-husband on a fairly regular basis and on the two other semi-serious relationships I've had in my life.....not sure whether reasons are any different - I was very highly sexed, my husband wasn't, I love variety and got bored with my relationships - I accept I should have gotten out immediately, but none of them ever found out and they were all devastated when I eventually broke up with them and wanted to know why....I'm now very happy with my life, my own company suits me fine, I've plenty of mates if I want company and the folk I play with either regularly or as one-offs seem happy enough - I also will play with attached folk, but I'm also giving marital guidance advice to a Facebook friend of mine who's trying to get in my knickers and I'm trying to get him to work it out with his wife....I guess I'm rambling now, but while my sympathy goes to those who've been hurt, I guess I'll carry on with my NSA sex life and do my damndest to make sure no-one gets hurt from my actions.....Ramble over xxx | |||
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"Ok, just a question for those that play behind their partners back and everything else is perfect. If everything else is perfect why are you unable to discuss your sexual needs. If someone is in a relationship with someone whose sexual needs stop or they are no longer able to have sex why are they not able to discuss the fact that they still have sexual needs and work out what can be done. Every "proper" relationship ive been with have always known that if i couldnt/didnt want sex they had my consent to go elsewhere. " We know a couple who are in that situation, ie no sex. The female half doesn't want to discuss it, no matter how many times he brings it up...and we know this to be true as she has told me she won't discuss it other then she doesn't want it. Sometimes communication or lack of it is an issue. He loves his wife and sex has been lacking for 14 years, but he said it is the intimacy that goes with it that he misses more than anything. He hasn't looked elsewhere, but living as brother and sister can't be what you expected and it wouldn't surprise me if one day he decided to do something about it. | |||
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"keento maybe id fuck ur sister and ur mother  "uve already implied u'd do anything given the chance so holds no surprise lol | |||
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"Makes me laugh the amount of judgemental and hypocritical people who have commented on this thread! We are human beings, monogamy is a very rare thing in the animal world. We all have sexual urges, some more than others, and its a real world out there... I'm not condoning it, but wouldn't judge others for cheating xx" You are judging the judges tho so that makes you a judge. Your language is also far more insulting than anyone elses. People object to the CHEATING, the LYING, the DECEIT....... not the non monogamy. | |||
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" People object to the CHEATING, the LYING, the DECEIT....... not the non monogamy." I think people on the receiving end object to both, but this is not limited to the swinging world, don't forget this happens just as much in the vanilla world, possibly even more there.
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" People object to the CHEATING, the LYING, the DECEIT....... not the non monogamy. I think people on the receiving end object to both, but this is not limited to the swinging world, don't forget this happens just as much in the vanilla world, possibly even more there.
"Having been on the receiving end.. its not.. i couldn't give a flying fuck about the sex... infact i told him that before he went and did it behind my back we talked about swinging etc and had even done some,., but he still insisted on lieing, hiding and deceiving! thats what i objected to! | |||
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"I'm really pleased to be part of a non-judgemental part of society. So refreshing..." Everybody judges, even you with that comment above! You are judging the two sections of this debate and have decided you belong with the non-existant non-judgmental side! Everybody judges every day. The number of people on this (and other) sites who proclaim to "live and let live" is sizable, but in saying that they are judging, just not maybe experessing their opinion! | |||
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"Just wanted to add another spin to this Post. I was contacted by a man who stated he was single on his profile and on several messages confirmed he was single. I did as the question again and he then admitted he was married playing away without wife's knowledge. I politely declined to meet him as this is my choice. He then sat in judgement on me declaring I was on this site for sex and I was shallow to decline meeting him. So to be honest folks seems one can never win so I just keep to my choices and leave others to their choices. Keep smiling everyone as it is a lovely sunny day xxxxxxxxxx As a GENUINELY single guy on here, there is one very simple rule to apply - if he says he is single and doesn't say he can accommodate - he ain't single!!!!! Your guy may well have said he could accom, but I bet there's an odds-on chance he didn't...... Just a thought if it helps in the future....." Actually its the other way around, if it says cannot accommodate and doesn't say single guy anywhere in the profile waffle, then to me there is more chance that he is cheating on his partner and I ignore those | |||
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"Just wanted to add another spin to this Post. I was contacted by a man who stated he was single on his profile and on several messages confirmed he was single. I did as the question again and he then admitted he was married playing away without wife's knowledge. I politely declined to meet him as this is my choice. He then sat in judgement on me declaring I was on this site for sex and I was shallow to decline meeting him. So to be honest folks seems one can never win so I just keep to my choices and leave others to their choices. Keep smiling everyone as it is a lovely sunny day xxxxxxxxxx As a GENUINELY single guy on here, there is one very simple rule to apply - if he says he is single and doesn't say he can accommodate - he ain't single!!!!! Your guy may well have said he could accom, but I bet there's an odds-on chance he didn't...... Just a thought if it helps in the future..... Actually its the other way around, if it says cannot accommodate and doesn't say single guy anywhere in the profile waffle, then to me there is more chance that he is cheating on his partner and I ignore those" ...plus the almost paranoid mention of "discretion" and "discreet" in every sentence. Avoid like the plague. | |||
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"It's not any ones business if someone Is cheating as long as their honest on their profile " Likewise if you have "no married" not to contact if you are stating it's a swingers site not a dating site so what's the problem. | |||
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"I just dont get why the central issue that rugby has brought up isnt being answered, its the assumption that its 'healthy' to ones marriage (and the origianl assumption is without a partners consent) the other glaring annoyance is that of the single man not being able to accomodate, meaning they are married... I've been living with my father for more than a year now (not exactly bf mateial is it lol), I have the occasional meet at home (hes not home!), but I think if I was delving that much deeper into being determine as being married...I'd point out: I've pics on my profile, my wife would easily spot me I can meet in public, my wife suddenly pop up, pointing and shouting "u cheating scumwhore!" I can often be phoned late at nite , my wife snores very heavily and I've a quiet voice anyway " I don't take the fact that a single guy can't accommodate to mean he must be married as I am 48 and havnt been able to accommodate as a single lady on here not because I am married(which I am but separated ) but because I share a house and she wouldn't be too happy. | |||
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"It's not any ones business if someone Is cheating as long as their honest on their profile Likewise if you have "no married" not to contact if you are stating it's a swingers site not a dating site so what's the problem. "But it will (hopefully) stop those that are cheating from contacting those of us who list it as a not interested | |||
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"I just dont get why the central issue that rugby has brought up isnt being answered, its the assumption that its 'healthy' to ones marriage (and the origianl assumption is without a partners consent) the other glaring annoyance is that of the single man not being able to accomodate, meaning they are married... I've been living with my father for more than a year now (not exactly bf mateial is it lol), I have the occasional meet at home (hes not home!), but I think if I was delving that much deeper into being determine as being married...I'd point out: I've pics on my profile, my wife would easily spot me I can meet in public, my wife suddenly pop up, pointing and shouting "u cheating scumwhore!" I can often be phoned late at nite , my wife snores very heavily and I've a quiet voice anyway I don't take the fact that a single guy can't accommodate to mean he must be married as I am 48 and havnt been able to accommodate as a single lady on here not because I am married(which I am but separated ) but because I share a house and she wouldn't be too happy. " wooohooo 3some at urs! cant wait! x | |||
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"I just dont get why the central issue that rugby has brought up isnt being answered, its the assumption that its 'healthy' to ones marriage (and the origianl assumption is without a partners consent) the other glaring annoyance is that of the single man not being able to accomodate, meaning they are married... I've been living with my father for more than a year now (not exactly bf mateial is it lol), I have the occasional meet at home (hes not home!), but I think if I was delving that much deeper into being determine as being married...I'd point out: I've pics on my profile, my wife would easily spot me I can meet in public, my wife suddenly pop up, pointing and shouting "u cheating scumwhore!" I can often be phoned late at nite , my wife snores very heavily and I've a quiet voice anyway I don't take the fact that a single guy can't accommodate to mean he must be married as I am 48 and havnt been able to accommodate as a single lady on here not because I am married(which I am but separated ) but because I share a house and she wouldn't be too happy. wooohooo 3some at urs! cant wait! x"  trust you | |||
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"It's not any ones business if someone Is cheating as long as their honest on their profile Likewise if you have "no married" not to contact if you are stating it's a swingers site not a dating site so what's the problem.
But it will (hopefully) stop those that are cheating from contacting those of us who list it as a not interested"It doesn't unfortunately. Why would I want the drama of a married man when there are hundreds of singles? Although it's on my profile every day I get a message from a married man. | |||
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"Yes it's wrong but yes it's a way of keeping the marriage healthy when the spark sometimes goes awol" only wrong if there is any dishonesty ,desceat or lies . if the married cpl decide openly for one or both of them to meet others for recreational sex then is no issue as all know where they stand | |||
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"I honestly can't believe that people can be so uptight about affairs on a swinging site! I'm married, my husband has multiple sclerosis, he knows the kind of fun he can't provide is paramount to my health and well being. Like someone else said, this isn't a dating site, it's an adult playground for sex! " Likewise I don't understand married men who won't respect my decision not to meet them. Oh wait...why would they respect me when they don't respect their wives?!! | |||
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"I honestly can't believe that people can be so uptight about affairs on a swinging site! I'm married, my husband has multiple sclerosis, he knows the kind of fun he can't provide is paramount to my health and well being. Like someone else said, this isn't a dating site, it's an adult playground for sex! " so lets reverse the situation: either its u having the illness or not, and u find out that ur hubby is playing with others without ur consent.Is that healthy? I dont have any issue with people playing away unconsented, but If they are saying its good for their marriage/relationship by lying to their partner , then I'm afraid they are fulla shit | |||
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"Morals?? Who are you to judge on a swingers site! Each to their own I say! Oh the irony!! ;)" so because someone is on a swinging site they have no morals? | |||
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"alot of married men been having fun for years so why not woman too ... "yes I really enjoy fucking married women because it seems so different and horny. What I don't like is the women who's husbands don't know I'm screwing his wife because this can sometimes cause huge problems!! It's better if he films or takes photos or he just sits there like a good cuck | |||
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"Yes it's wrong but yes it's a way of keeping the marriage healthy when the spark sometimes goes awol I don't care what married people do ith their lives and it isn't any of my buisness nor do I need to know why....but personally I think that is a contradiction in itself....how can a marriage be healthy if someone is cheating on his or her spouse? Many from a non swinging community would say exactly the same about swinging. I know many who presume a man lets people sleep with his wife because the marriage is failing. Relationships are far too complex in reality for someone on the outside to be in a position to understand fully. Don't get me wrong, I REALLY don't get into the married people cheating other than to say, it isn't my business and they don't need to justify anything to anyone but themselves....but I just can't see how cheating can make a marriage healthy. I have talked to people and tried to get my head round it and it made me look at what marriage is. The general public would say exactly the same about people bringing someone else into a sexual relationship with one or both partners. It makes you question what exactly is a marriage, it makes you look at sexual and non sexual relationships. The conclusion I have come to though is in some marriages when one partner is seeking sex out of it when the partner has gone off it and often knows it can make the marriage work. Relationships are complex, we often question how others can be happy yet there will always be people who look at our situation and question how we can be happy. It did make me realise one thing though and that swingers are some of the least tolerant and most judgemental people about which is a little disappointing. Like you I can only guess too...which isn't really what I am after. It would be good to get an answer from someone who is living it and give us an insight into what they mean. I know of a woman who meets a married man, they have sex, he goes back to his wife. It turns out the wife knows and turns a blind eye, even phoned the woman and told her, and as long as they don't rub her face in it she is still turning a blind eye as she has no sex drive and he makes her happy when he is there. Now I can half understand this as I am guessing lots of women / men turn a blind eye...but I am still not sure cheating can be healthy if people don't know what is going on." Sorry am I being thick or have I just got lost in this rehash thread... " Not sure cheating can be healthy if people don't know what is going on" Err if they don't know they must surely believe everything in the garden is rosy. Whats the saying 'what you don't know doesn't hurt you' and 'ignorance is bliss' or something like that.. Id be surprised if anyone is happy about being betrayed but shit happens and as long as MAN that's both sexes have the ability to make a choice it's going happen do accept and move on.... Or as some country's do we could let people marry as many people as they wish... Multiple husbands and wives! lol What a terrifying thought! lol | |||
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"Morals?? Who are you to judge on a swingers site! Each to their own I say! Oh the irony!! ;) so because someone is on a swinging site they have no morals? " Did you not know that us swingers are immoral, desperate, sex crazed nymphos who will shag anything and don't care about sleeping with other peoples partners behind their back?? tut tut,, you have alot to learn | |||
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"Just wanted to add another spin to this Post. I was contacted by a man who stated he was single on his profile and on several messages confirmed he was single. I did as the question again and he then admitted he was married playing away without wife's knowledge. I politely declined to meet him as this is my choice. He then sat in judgement on me declaring I was on this site for sex and I was shallow to decline meeting him. So to be honest folks seems one can never win so I just keep to my choices and leave others to their choices. Keep smiling everyone as it is a lovely sunny day xxxxxxxxxx As a GENUINELY single guy on here, there is one very simple rule to apply - if he says he is single and doesn't say he can accommodate - he ain't single!!!!! Your guy may well have said he could accom, but I bet there's an odds-on chance he didn't...... Just a thought if it helps in the future..... Sorry Pman thats not true. People have other reasons why they dont accomodate. Im single and I dont accomodate so whats the difference." + 1 My place is where my kids live when they are with me. I prefer to separate my personal life. They know that their mother and I are not together, do not want to mess with their heads even more! Nick | |||
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"I honestly can't believe that people can be so uptight about affairs on a swinging site! I'm married, my husband has multiple sclerosis, he knows the kind of fun he can't provide is paramount to my health and well being. Like someone else said, this isn't a dating site, it's an adult playground for sex! " With lots of Swings! | |||
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"Seeing some amazingly hypocritical stuff here. Can guarantee most of the people judging this guy would be doing exactly the same thing if their other halves stopped playing. It's all very easy to be judgemental when you are already getting what you want." cool.... time to play devils advocate and see if you would "practice what you are preaching?"..... I don't which of you left the reply.... so if the other one didn't want to play anymore.... would you play "behind their backs" ?????
this should be an interesting answer.... | |||
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" Sorry am I being thick or have I just got lost in this rehash thread... " Not sure cheating can be healthy if people don't know what is going on" Err if they don't know they must surely believe everything in the garden is rosy. Whats the saying 'what you don't know doesn't hurt you' and 'ignorance is bliss' or something like that.. Id be surprised if anyone is happy about being betrayed but shit happens and as long as MAN that's both sexes have the ability to make a choice it's going happen do accept and move on.... " Not half as lost as me. 
I was asking the question to the OP about his first post ( although it wasn't answered )....and now unless I am reading it wrong you are quoting me and telling me to accept something and move on.
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"Seeing some amazingly hypocritical stuff here. Can guarantee most of the people judging this guy would be doing exactly the same thing if their other halves stopped playing. It's all very easy to be judgemental when you are already getting what you want." Are you being serious?
A swinging site is bursting at the sides with couples that are so open, honest and trusting of each other. I can't really see many of these couples looking to seek sex behind their partners back if they begin to fail.
The foundation of their swinging lifestyle is about enjoying the "fun" together or with full knowledge of what each other is "up to".
Being a cheat behind their back because they aren't "getting at home" is not going to rock the boats of many.
I'm very sure many of us "judgemental bunch" would discuss our feelings and needs about seeking sex 'elsewhere' with our loved ones should we find ourselves in the same situation. | |||
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"I'm very sure many of us "judgemental bunch" would discuss our feelings and needs about seeking sex 'elsewhere' with our loved ones should we find ourselves in the same situation." As there is a thread soemwhere else on the forums about the male half of a couple contacting the female half of another couple without the knowledge of either partner, I suspect thats not always the case. | |||
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"... your saying this... on a SWINGING! site... nothing more will be said by me on this matter until you realise the irony... * suspects she is in for a long wait*" Ditto my thoughts exactly.. intelligent woman xx what happened to each to their own, Irony indeed x Non judgemental should be the name of the game. | |||
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"I'm very sure many of us "judgemental bunch" would discuss our feelings and needs about seeking sex 'elsewhere' with our loved ones should we find ourselves in the same situation. As there is a thread soemwhere else on the forums about the male half of a couple contacting the female half of another couple without the knowledge of either partner, I suspect thats not always the case." That's why I said "many" and not "all" x | |||
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"Seeing some amazingly hypocritical stuff here. Can guarantee most of the people judging this guy would be doing exactly the same thing if their other halves stopped playing. It's all very easy to be judgemental when you are already getting what you want." dont talk pish... I'd be bi or totally gay if I NEEDED sex that much, please dont use the silly argument 'we're all animals really'...its dire its pish and it really does change the face of what recreational sex and swinging is all about.Some of us deserve a bit more respect...and I'd give it to any partner I'm with...or just end the relationship...its that simple.I dont need to hide behind lies, and I wont! | |||
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"I honestly can't believe that people can be so uptight about affairs on a swinging site! I'm married, my husband has multiple sclerosis, he knows the kind of fun he can't provide is paramount to my health and well being. Like someone else said, this isn't a dating site, it's an adult playground for sex! " It certainly is Madam. And I plan to stand at the bottom of the slide so I can see your knickers as you come down... | |||
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" Sorry am I being thick or have I just got lost in this rehash thread... " Not sure cheating can be healthy if people don't know what is going on" Err if they don't know they must surely believe everything in the garden is rosy. Whats the saying 'what you don't know doesn't hurt you' and 'ignorance is bliss' or something like that.. Id be surprised if anyone is happy about being betrayed but shit happens and as long as MAN that's both sexes have the ability to make a choice it's going happen do accept and move on.... Not half as lost as me.
I was asking the question to the OP about his first post ( although it wasn't answered )....and now unless I am reading it wrong you are quoting me and telling me to accept something and move on.
"Err yes confussed but I suppose we should worry about the things we can change and move on from those that we can't and if we don't know we're being cheated on we probably believe everything is ok and therefor we don't or can't change what we don't know about.. Chicken or the egg? What's the point of a rhetorical question? | |||
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"Yes it's wrong but yes it's a way of keeping the marriage healthy when the spark sometimes goes awol Bollocks." # Double Bollocks . | |||
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"Just wanted to add another spin to this Post. I was contacted by a man who stated he was single on his profile and on several messages confirmed he was single. I did as the question again and he then admitted he was married playing away without wife's knowledge. I politely declined to meet him as this is my choice. He then sat in judgement on me declaring I was on this site for sex and I was shallow to decline meeting him. So to be honest folks seems one can never win so I just keep to my choices and leave others to their choices. Keep smiling everyone as it is a lovely sunny day xxxxxxxxxx As a GENUINELY single guy on here, there is one very simple rule to apply - if he says he is single and doesn't say he can accommodate - he ain't single!!!!! Your guy may well have said he could accom, but I bet there's an odds-on chance he didn't...... Just a thought if it helps in the future....." I can't accommodate and I'm very much single. We are living in times where people are losing their jobs or forced to downsize as they can't afford their cost of living by taking a lesser paid job. People are lodging, flat-sharing or moving back in with parents until their situations improve. That rule is flawed because there are too many factors to consider. IMO: This site is all about trust. If I'm playing with a married woman, I would like her to be up front about it so I can make the decision on if I'm going to take things further. The same way we all need to be honest about ourselves if we want to get intimate with people here. | |||
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"Your wife's got that on her profile too "Love it | |||
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"I honestly can't believe that people can be so uptight about affairs on a swinging site! I'm married, my husband has multiple sclerosis, he knows the kind of fun he can't provide is paramount to my health and well being. Like someone else said, this isn't a dating site, it's an adult playground for sex! " | |||
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"and there was me thinking a complete refresh of the sofa & soft furnishings kept the spark alive in a weary marriage... not one getting their hole covertly elsewhere. I have learned something new. if it works for you, so be it. enjoy" I fucked my marriage counselor as I thought it'd be healthy to get a different _iewpoint on what was wrong with my wife and I's sex life.My counselor says its my wife's fault and I'm the fucking bomb, but I've to stick with the counseling, on Thursdays at 10:30am when my wife does her shopping...as retail therapy also helps our marriage | |||
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"Yes it's wrong but yes it's a way of keeping the marriage healthy when the spark sometimes goes awol" and when your wife finds out the sparks will probably fly, i dont think cheating is a healthy way to keep a marriage going. it's just wrong | |||
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"cheating is wrong, and it says alot about a person if they cheat " | |||
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"cheating is wrong, and it says alot about a person if they cheat "cant agree with that.I disagree with someone promoting that its healthy to their marriage to cheat.Thats the actual OP issue | |||
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"Why not just get a divorce "and lose out on the bitch's great home cooking...ya mad??? | |||
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"For those saying don't judge? It's a forum if we can't give our 2penith worth on what other people post what is the point in a forum. If I said that I think swinging is a perfectly reasonable thing to do? Then I'm sure lots of responses on this site would agree, they are still being judgemental, but they are agreeing with my judgement. By saying others are judgemental you are in fact showing that you are being judgemental about them. So saying don't be judgemental is hypocrytical in 3 words. As for keeping a marrage health, the simple way to find out is to tell the other half. If she jumps for joy and say oh what a relief I've been fucking others for years, in the worry it would upset you then the arguement has traction. If she says get out you cheating barsteward, I would say that the hypothesis is not proven. I sometimes think people forget what a marrage is, in it's basic premise its a contract between 2 people. What that contract states depends on the individual marrage vows. So if the marrage vows allows for cheating then she can have no complaints. It's entirely right it's the OP's life but as with any contract it does have certain binding parts to it. If I sign a contract to do something such as being the sole supplier of a product to 1 shop, but then feel it's health for us if I supply to other shops, then I would not be surprised to find myself up in court with a case to answer. So no I disagree with the OP and yes I am judgemental, but then I am alive." | |||
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"Why not just get a divorce
and lose out on the bitch's great home cooking...ya mad???"typical coming from a man!, i'm a man and have been cheated on in the past, it fucking hurts | |||
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"Makes me laugh the amount of judgemental and hypocritical people who have commented on this thread! We are human beings, monogamy is a very rare thing in the animal world. We all have sexual urges, some more than others, and its a real world out there... I'm not condoning it, but wouldn't judge others for cheating xx" | |||
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"Why not just get a divorce
and lose out on the bitch's great home cooking...ya mad???
typical coming from a man!, i'm a man and have been cheated on in the past, it fucking hurts"Oh for fucks sakes I'm not even fucking married...getta grip.And if u had read my posts earlier Ive pointed out I dont think its healthy to cheat.Perhaps reading stuff before u type it would help...or must I write lol at the end of every joke...which is what it was...er........LOL | |||
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"What about married men & ladies who's partners know & are happy for them to play? " pimp? | |||
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"Why not just get a divorce
and lose out on the bitch's great home cooking...ya mad???
typical coming from a man!, i'm a man and have been cheated on in the past, it fucking hurts
Oh for fucks sakes I'm not even fucking married...getta grip.And if u had read my posts earlier Ive pointed out I dont think its healthy to cheat.Perhaps reading stuff before u type it would help...or must I write lol at the end of every joke...which is what it was...er........LOL"want meant as a dig at you, i should of put a after i wrote "typical coming from a man" i do appologies | |||
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"Why not just get a divorce
and lose out on the bitch's great home cooking...ya mad???
typical coming from a man!, i'm a man and have been cheated on in the past, it fucking hurts
Oh for fucks sakes I'm not even fucking married...getta grip.And if u had read my posts earlier Ive pointed out I dont think its healthy to cheat.Perhaps reading stuff before u type it would help...or must I write lol at the end of every joke...which is what it was...er........LOLwant meant as a dig at you, i should of put a after i wrote "typical coming from a man" i do appologies"severely accepted...Ive stopped crying now (lol) x | |||
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"My other half has no interst in sex at all yet I am a raving nympho He doesn't openly know what I do but also gives me time and space to be alone We have children and apart from sex our lives r perfect so why ruin what we have just for a decent shag now and again? Does that make sence? " | |||
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" Many from a non swinging community would say exactly the same about swinging. I know many who presume a man lets people sleep with his wife because the marriage is failing. Relationships are far too complex in reality for someone on the outside to be in a position to understand fully." But the key difference with swinging and cheating is ... Swinging = honesty and trust Cheating = dishonesty and no trust | |||
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" As a GENUINELY single guy on here, there is one very simple rule to apply - if he says he is single and doesn't say he can accommodate - he ain't single!!!!! Your guy may well have said he could accom, but I bet there's an odds-on chance he didn't...... Just a thought if it helps in the future..... " Wow! Sorry but I am going to challenge this statement outright! I am a single dad, two of my children live at home with me, and I work full time. I can accommodate, however this doesn't mean I can accommodate every night and certainly doesn't mean I can accommodate at the drop of a hat! Yet with that beng my situation, and I assure you I am very much as single as my profile states I am, does this make me a liar!?  | |||
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"Hmmmm, so not one reply to that then?? "Cos they know you're right! | |||
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"Hmmmm, so not one reply to that then??
Cos they know you're right! "Thank you Scarlet x | |||
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" As a GENUINELY single guy on here, there is one very simple rule to apply - if he says he is single and doesn't say he can accommodate - he ain't single!!!!! Your guy may well have said he could accom, but I bet there's an odds-on chance he didn't...... Just a thought if it helps in the future..... Wow! Sorry but I am going to challenge this statement outright! I am a single dad, two of my children live at home with me, and I work full time. I can accommodate, however this doesn't mean I can accommodate every night and certainly doesn't mean I can accommodate at the drop of a hat! Yet with that beng my situation, and I assure you I am very much as single as my profile states I am, does this make me a liar!? "My profile says I can't accom yet very rarely do I get accused of being a married woman playing away Got to love those double standards huh | |||
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"Yes it's wrong but yes it's a way of keeping the marriage healthy when the spark sometimes goes awol" if you think a healthy marriage involves deceit and sex with others behind the partners back then no one here can help you, your delusion is untreatable. | |||
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" As a GENUINELY single guy on here, there is one very simple rule to apply - if he says he is single and doesn't say he can accommodate - he ain't single!!!!! Your guy may well have said he could accom, but I bet there's an odds-on chance he didn't...... Just a thought if it helps in the future..... Wow! Sorry but I am going to challenge this statement outright! I am a single dad, two of my children live at home with me, and I work full time. I can accommodate, however this doesn't mean I can accommodate every night and certainly doesn't mean I can accommodate at the drop of a hat! Yet with that beng my situation, and I assure you I am very much as single as my profile states I am, does this make me a liar!?
My profile says I can't accom yet very rarely do I get accused of being a married woman playing away
Got to love those double standards huh "That is why I say on mine why I cannot accommodate, no-one can then accuse me of anything though I did have a guy suggest I get a babysitter, don't think 24 yr old son would appreciate that | |||
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