FabSwingers.com forum: messages

By *averi OP Man
over a year ago

Swindon to bristol

If a message shown as un read but the person you have sent the message to has been on line many times since you sent it does it mean its been deleted unread?

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By *kexplorersCouple
over a year ago

Bedfordshire

No it means they may have loads of messages in their inbox and might not have had time to read yours... Or they have seen the subject line and thought it was not worth opening.

Do not worry if people do not respond straight away, infact forget about the message and if they do it will be a pleasant surprise

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

it just means your message has been unread.

Now when im taking a look to see how my message has been recieved in the sent items, I normally take it as one of the following usually

1) they took a peek at your avatar & the first lines of your message and not interesting enough to open

2) they looked at your profile before deciding if to open the message and you wasnt for them so didnt matter what the message said

3) too many messages and they cant be arsed to chew through them all

4) they arnt looking or interested

either way best to just let them get on with it and move onto the next one. maybe try them again another time a week or two later when they are online, and if they dont respond or read the message just make a note that they wernt interested in you and move on to the next victim lol

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By *am sampsonMan
over a year ago

cwmbran

rarely even look at sent messages - if they are interested they will reply anyway

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By *icketysplitsWoman
over a year ago

Way over Yonder, that's where I'm bound

Sometimes I am logged on but not looking as it's on in the background. Or, I'm in here and haven't noticed messages coming or there are too many to get through in one session.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"rarely even look at sent messages - if they are interested they will reply anyway

+1 - Actually, I delete all messages as soon as I have sent them - the only important thing is if they respond.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"rarely even look at sent messages - if they are interested they will reply anyway

+1 - Actually, I delete all messages as soon as I have sent them - the only important thing is if they respond."

i find thought taking a peek every so often, espeically if you message them while they are online is a good way to gauge interest.

you can take the deleted or unread messages as a hint, i often make user notes as well, so if someone just flat out deleted i can log it so dont look back in a month or two's time and bother them again if things havent changed or my profile hasnt significantly improoved or is more suitable now to current wants/needs

agreed some people though probs get too caught up on it, few my female friends say they get wound up when someone sends another message saying crap like "so thats a no then?" or "why arnt you replying" lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"rarely even look at sent messages - if they are interested they will reply anyway

+1 - Actually, I delete all messages as soon as I have sent them - the only important thing is if they respond."

True, but by doing that, what is going to stop you wasting your time by sending them another at a later date?

I clear out messages every few weeks, and block those who didn't reply, so I don't message again.

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By *am sampsonMan
over a year ago

cwmbran

"rarely even look at sent messages - if they are interested they will reply anyway

+1 - Actually, I delete all messages as soon as I have sent them - the only important thing is if they respond.

True, but by doing that, what is going to stop you wasting your time by sending them another at a later date?

I clear out messages every few weeks, and block those who didn't reply, so I don't message again."

Whatever works for you and other do what works for them

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

Just don't send message after message asking of they got the other one....that really pisses me off

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By *am sampsonMan
over a year ago

cwmbran

"Just don't send message after message asking of they got the other one....that really pisses me off

Did you get mine

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sending another messge a few weeks later??? or obsessing as to why the first message hasn't been read?

Seriously??

I like the forums, I refuse to go through my inbox before I come on the forums thats not how this site works at all!!

Who said I have to respond to all the messages when a lot of them clearly have not read my profile....

I'll answer the messages I want to, when I want to, I could be logged on all day (mobile phones are great) but thats on the forum page and not on my inbox page.

I've found actually when I do sit down to work through my inbox I can save a number of responses as 'the user is no longer on site' comes up and it's a quick delete.

My profile states I like the forums, it also states repeat messages will get both deleted and probably unread and a block to boot.

I have a life and choose to come on the forums, I am not required to clear my inbox to do so!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lol.....lifes to short.

If someone doesn't respond for whatever reason its thier choice...not going to say loss as it could be my gain and anothers nightmare.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sending another messge a few weeks later??? or obsessing as to why the first message hasn't been read?

Seriously??

I like the forums, I refuse to go through my inbox before I come on the forums thats not how this site works at all!!

Who said I have to respond to all the messages when a lot of them clearly have not read my profile....

I'll answer the messages I want to, when I want to, I could be logged on all day (mobile phones are great) but thats on the forum page and not on my inbox page.

I've found actually when I do sit down to work through my inbox I can save a number of responses as 'the user is no longer on site' comes up and it's a quick delete.

My profile states I like the forums, it also states repeat messages will get both deleted and probably unread and a block to boot.

I have a life and choose to come on the forums, I am not required to clear my inbox to do so!

I dont think anyone was ever saying you had to blimey chill

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Also, if you are a site supporter, you can actually see what the message says through the message thread without actually reading it.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sending another messge a few weeks later??? or obsessing as to why the first message hasn't been read?

Seriously??

I like the forums, I refuse to go through my inbox before I come on the forums thats not how this site works at all!!

Who said I have to respond to all the messages when a lot of them clearly have not read my profile....

I'll answer the messages I want to, when I want to, I could be logged on all day (mobile phones are great) but thats on the forum page and not on my inbox page.

I've found actually when I do sit down to work through my inbox I can save a number of responses as 'the user is no longer on site' comes up and it's a quick delete.

My profile states I like the forums, it also states repeat messages will get both deleted and probably unread and a block to boot.

I have a life and choose to come on the forums, I am not required to clear my inbox to do so!

lol that was a bit random was anyone even talking to you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Now I've been reminded the sent box is another thing to go into and empty and have done so I'm happy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"rarely even look at sent messages - if they are interested they will reply anyway

+1 - Actually, I delete all messages as soon as I have sent them - the only important thing is if they respond.

True, but by doing that, what is going to stop you wasting your time by sending them another at a later date?

I clear out messages every few weeks, and block those who didn't reply, so I don't message again."

If you look on the left of their profile under the vertical menu, it will give you a small message history (well it does for site supporters), so you know not to bother them a second time.

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By *am sampsonMan
over a year ago

cwmbran

"rarely even look at sent messages - if they are interested they will reply anyway

+1 - Actually, I delete all messages as soon as I have sent them - the only important thing is if they respond.

True, but by doing that, what is going to stop you wasting your time by sending them another at a later date?

I clear out messages every few weeks, and block those who didn't reply, so I don't message again.

If you look on the left of their profile under the vertical menu, it will give you a small message history (well it does for site supporters), so you know not to bother them a second time."

plus if you try to send a message to someone and they haven't replied to your previous message you get a nice little warning fron Fab

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