FabSwingers.com forum: I can't ejaculate through sex and I'm worried

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hi potentialy long thread

I lost my virginity at 21 and I still have this issue and I'm starting to worry.

I'm now 27 years old and looking to the future as in wanting to settle down and have kids ect ect.

But i have never been able to ejaculate through any other means except masturbation penatrative sex and oral don't work.

I have tried almost everything at this time and have been considering seeing a sex therapist but I can't see how that will change a thing.

I've kind of accepted my lot and used it to my advantage and my partners love it but I do worry about my future.

Any other guys or girls for that matter dealt with this problem

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By *innie The MinxWoman
over a year ago

Under the Duvet

Lots of info online.

Can be psychological.

Also I read that some people get so used to wanking to porn their cock get used to the "death grip" and then even the tightest vagina doesnt replicate that feeling.

It can be reversed tho so don't despair. Also interesting to see other people in your situation.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

The main thing is its not as if its not pleasurable and I don't get to the point where i think its going to happen then nothing.

My partners have told me they can feel it acting as if I'm about to cum to but nothing happens?

I mean most guys would love it but after 6 years I kind of just want the Same release my partners get.

Thank you for answering

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Lots of info online.

Can be psychological.

Also I read that some people get so used to wanking to porn their cock get used to the "death grip" and then even the tightest vagina doesnt replicate that feeling.

It can be reversed tho so don't despair. Also interesting to see other people in your situation.

"
omg is that it the prolonged death grip....... the relief....... thank you

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Another thing to note is I now only ejaculate with the aid of lube

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 26/04/20 11:24:05]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hey OP,

Thanks for sharing!

I recently experienced a similar situation as a side effect of some medication I was taking. I found it very difficult to ejaculate, especially when having sex and receiving oral etc. I was on the medication for 2 years and over that time I did learn to improve things.

Talk to someone. Whether that’s your GP or a therapist. I found the worry that things weren’t okay down there was as disruptive to sex as the medication. Talking to someone in the know will put your mind at rest. They can answer questions like ‘how can I start a family’ for which there are solutions.

Try to identify what you’re thinking and what you’re feeling when you get close and ‘lose it’ during sex. Once you get to know the causes better, you can start to think about some strategies to mitigate them.

Be positive, humans are built to overcome problems! Good luck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The main thing is its not as if its not pleasurable and I don't get to the point where i think its going to happen then nothing.

My partners have told me they can feel it acting as if I'm about to cum to but nothing happens?

I mean most guys would love it but after 6 years I kind of just want the Same release my partners get.

Thank you for answering "

I can only cum through clitoral play mainly with toys so I know what you mean as I’d love to be able to cum through penetration.

But you’re only 27 and it might feel like your ancient but your very young! No point excepting that’s your lot now! Speak to your gp and go online, I’m sure you’ll get there. Plus there are a lot of guys out there with the same issue...trust me!

Also wondering what do your parents like about it...? Not sure what you meant there

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The main thing is its not as if its not pleasurable and I don't get to the point where i think its going to happen then nothing.

My partners have told me they can feel it acting as if I'm about to cum to but nothing happens?

I mean most guys would love it but after 6 years I kind of just want the Same release my partners get.

Thank you for answering

I can only cum through clitoral play mainly with toys so I know what you mean as I’d love to be able to cum through penetration.

Also wondering what do your parents like about it...? Not sure what you meant there

Sorry totally misread that thought you said parents but it was partners!!! Phew!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The fella is like this, he can go for hours no matter what woman you put in front of him. He says it was from a period of taking anti depressants years ago, it's kind of a frustrating blessing for him.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The more you worry about it, the worse it will be.

I suspect there may be similarities with insomnia, something I've suffered with for years.

The more I lie there worryong about not getting to sleep, the longer I lie there not falling asleep - if that makes sense.

Perhaps it might be worth trying to find some relaxation techniques - and yes, I could use some of those too.

I'm not suggesting that I know the answers, but it's definitely all in your mind.

Could be other things in life causing you stress.

I wonder if when it happened the first time (or didn't as is the case) you began to worry that there was something wrong and this has compounded the problem.

Do you think about it when you're having sex?

Try not to. Just try and enjoy the moment.

Good luck fella

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Could be something that is happening in your life outside the sex. I wouldn't let it get you down there probably a lot of guys who are in the same situation as you. Maybe you are talking yourself into it before your ready for sex . Try and relax and good luck m8

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By *aylonMan
over a year ago

Earlsfield

I had the same problem, definitely psychological. Found I could only do it in certain conditions, ie body shape, nice bum, pussy with a certain tightness otherwise it wasn't happening. Speak to someone and maybe experiment more on what you really enjoy.

"Hi potentialy long thread

I lost my virginity at 21 and I still have this issue and I'm starting to worry.

I'm now 27 years old and looking to the future as in wanting to settle down and have kids ect ect.

But i have never been able to ejaculate through any other means except masturbation penatrative sex and oral don't work.

I have tried almost everything at this time and have been considering seeing a sex therapist but I can't see how that will change a thing.

I've kind of accepted my lot and used it to my advantage and my partners love it but I do worry about my future.

Any other guys or girls for that matter dealt with this problem

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By *lint-EverhardMan
over a year ago

Perpignan and cap

I used to have this problem. I found that by having a highly sexed partner that was on the pill helped. Cummin'inside her wasn't a taboo. we'd fuck, we'd have fun then when it was time to cum I'd just hold my cock inside her and relax. We'd chat, I'd play with her nipples and clit. Your cock will soon learn to dump your cum as close to them ovaries as possible.

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By *sianMancMan
over a year ago

Manchester

Don't worry about it.

It happened to me initially when I was 19 and onwards for a little while.

It's a mixture of psychology and as someone stated the death grip lol

Firstly speaking to your gp won't do any harm as long as the gp suggests other than medication.

So how did i rid myself of this?

1) do not masturbate period!

Try to not masturbate or have any one give you a hand job for a long time.

The longer the better.

Basically abstain from sex. Your penis needs to forget how your hand felt. You've connected masturbation to ejaculation and you need time to break that cycle.

If you have a partner she has to abstain from fucking you and wise verse. Yes no vaginal sex either or all you'll do is beat yourself up.

If you can manage UNTIL you either get a wet dream or atleast 2 months (whichever is latest then good).

I managed 6months without wanking dude.

The secret is this if you wank you will want to wank again. For us guys wanking is like Pringles. Once we pop we just don't stop.

2) the psychological issue could be religion or morals or anything. The way I dealt with this is self talk.

I would just chat to myself and say its ok to cum inside a girl. It's ok to cum in a bitch (be as vulgar as you need for your penis to know you have a duty and a right to orgasm and to ejaculate all that juicy warm jizz inside a female).

It's silly be self talk is to speak to your inner child and to reassure it that yeah man why can't we cum inside her after all its her problem to clean the mess not yours.

Whatever you do just talk to yourself.

I did that and eventually when I had abstained from cumming for those 6months not only did I cum inside a girl but I knew masturbation was the cause.

Going forward excessive masturbation can cause you to regress so the key is to not masturbate too much in succession.

A day here or there is fine. Daily is wrong. Multiple times a day is wrong.

Only time multiple or daily is ok is if it's a girl doing it for you..or she's sucking you off.

Otherwise ideally abstain from it.

Hope that helps.

Ps: don't get advice from women about this. Many will post here but it's hardly the same thing

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By *ebwizMan
over a year ago

Clevedon

Anti depressants was a killer for me. You could have sex and get close to cumming but never tip over the edge. Became a proper issue until situation changed and was able to quit them and normal function returned which was welcome.

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