I arrived as instructed at just before the majority of late shift drivers arrived in depot , ,i grabbed a defect card and found the double deck volvo designated for the journey, i very carefully made sure i covered all twenty pre service checks, including the bells , interior lights , and seats and windows, i knew my driving would be scrutinised and commented upon, even if it was faultless, especially if it was faultless, i didnt want to compound it by having some grumpy old fucker tell me the emergency door hammer was missing, and i hadnt noticed! Just my luck , the forst wave of drivers arrived and left , my crowd would be all the last ones in , and i had to have guide wheel training while this lot observed, id rather be dressed as , a st trinians sixth former and be odered to blow ,the rugby team as part of my detention, than go through this certain humiliation, ,As i checked the upstairs fire exit, Leon arrived carrying a large cardboard box! “Are you certain about the digs “? He sounded concerned ? If its too small and your going to rattle around in there, a couple of months saving for a bond can be a lifetime if your feeling confined!”, “A threesome while handcuffed to the handbrake in a mini cooper is confinement Leon!” I stated this assertion with a little too much authority, ,Leon,s face fell open from just beneath halfway! , “jesus , leon can you lift both your arms you look like youve had a stroke , he dropped the carboard box , and stammered back, and then with his tongue between his teeth on one side of his face he lisped , but if i had , id like the front pathenger theat of the mini to have it pleath! , we both started laughing , i was rolling about on the rear seats and he,s kneeling in the isle, the kind of laugh you only generally hear at a hen night , that deep ,reverberating cackle , some women manage , when they hear something truly honest , from a comedian or a mate, usually involving, some overconfident sexist prick being put right in his place or a girlfriend describing an impromptu thressome with identical twins! , when you hear it, you dont need to know what was said, but you wish you had! Because you find yourself smiling anyway, even though you dont know what the joke is , or the punchline, it like crying at a happy ending! You dont need to have had one , but you can share the humanity of someone elses improbable good fortune just the same! The bus started rocking , as the front step bowed in welcome to each new step taken onboard , , and , upon hearing the commotion coming from the upper deck , numerous pairs of feet began their ascent to As we both heard this ominous signal of potentiallygrumpyfuckersapproaching ! Or PGFA , a bit like the golfing governing body, but with no money , or at this time of night , patience with fools for colleagues! WHO IS MEANT TO BE DRIVNG THIS KIN THING, THIS SERVCE IS FOR STAFF NOT AN AUDITION FOR THE APPOLLO! Whats so funny ? Come on lets all hear it! I quickly leapt to my feet and headed down towards the stairs at the front of the upper deck as the front seats were occupied rapidly by each weary arrival, quickly forming a gallery of potential hecklers, , , i just told leon an inapproriate joke but due to its potentially offensive nature i cant repeat it, i tried , and failed , to wriggle away from the hole i was now going to dig myself into , d |
