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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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The following report should help nervous swingers to navigate the treacherous waters of gangbang etiquette and avoid those common faux pas that can turn perfectly delightful public sex with random strangers into a semen-stained social embarrassment.
Most orgy invitations will specify what, if anything, should be brought by the attendees. Once my invitation arrived at Duke Towers I got my assistant to read it out-loud twice. Read everything carved into the bathroom stall door to make sure you didn’t miss any important details. Aside from a raging boner and a dish to pass, here is a list of other things you might want to consider:
-Personal lubricant
-Shitload of hand sanitizer
-Duct tape
-Viking helmet
-Not AIDS
Always be punctual when attending a gangbang. (This will be the only time during the evening when coming early is actually encouraged!) Remember, there are dozens of people you don’t know waiting for you to stick parts of your body in them. It is rude to make them wait. Showing up late not only reflects poorly on you, but also prevents you from getting in on the action from the beginning. I arrived early so I could watch everyone arrive and spy out potential troublemakers. Few things are more awkward than trying to strike up a conversation with a woman who already has some other dude’s junk jammed in her throat. Once I had located my targets I approached them before any other males had the change to annoy them with AFC ramblings. Talking in statement form is the way old friends talk to each other. Statements are the mode of the intimate, the confident and the giving. They invite others to share and make perfect metaphysical sense. Trust me on that-you do not have to spend nights lying on the grass staring up at our spread eagled milky-way galaxy figuring it all out. I have done that for you.
And while it’s not exactly considered rude to already have your cock out when you arrive, you should make the effort to dress it up a bit. The sight of a naked man with an engorged penis unceremoniously stumbling into a room full of strangers can be unpleasant and awkward. A little pirate hat or some glitter down the sides are nice touches.
Once an orgy began, it quickly became a room full of flying dicks and tits, and it’s easy to get caught up in all the dick-and-tit-flying and forget your manners. Here are some guidelines to help you avoid common mistakes usually made while fucking.
At a gangbang, it is certainly not expected that you bring a woman flowers, (The Duke never buys woman anything) but on the other hand, you don’t want to just mount her and start jackhammering her baby box like a monkey on angel dust. Women in general like a little romance and tenderness, and some doped-up skank writhing around in a dimly-lit furnished basement is no exception.
Mouth kissing is usually acceptable, but very risky in a group sex setting, and therefore not something I never do. Depending on where her mouth was (or more importantly what was in it) just prior to your encounter will make the difference between a pleasant pre-sex interaction and getting a mouthful of cum belch. Kissing other parts of her body runs similar risks. Absent a black light, you must assume any woman with whom you engage is currently coated entirely in dried spunk.
A quick tit slap or a poke in the neck with your cock will alleviate much of this risk and still accomplish the goal of tactile arousal. Remember, as much as you want to be polite and get a woman aroused, you also want to avoid touching her jizz-sprayed body as much as possible.
Whether it’s your big toe, car keys, or some other chick’s face, it is rude to stick anything into someone else’s asshole without permission. A simple, “Pardon me miss, but do you mind if I slam this into your pooper?” will not only be appreciated for its thoughtfulness. You must treat each asshole you encounter with the respect it deserves.
I know when you’ve got a boner that could punch a hole through a cinder block and the only available place to stick it is some other guy’s stink winker, it seems pretty tempting. But remember, this is a gangbang, not Ben Affleck’s tool shed. Try to exhibit some class.
Understandably, there are certain multiple-partner sexual positions where the men outnumber the women that will involve some inevitable ball touching and sack friction. This is unavoidable, and therefore acceptable. But again, sexual contact with other men should never be intentional and always kept to a minimum(3 second rule). And remember, never make eye contact with a man whose genitals are touching yours.
You may be nervous about potentially having a public orgasm. It’s easy to get lost in the moment and do something that will embarrass you or other guests. Don’t let your manners shoot out of your dick along with all that busted nut!
First comes the announcement. It’s good to make a show of it to let people know how much you are enjoying yourself, and it also allows any nearby women to get their faces into position. Simply yelling, “I’m coming!” is trite and clichéd. Something more colorful like, “Eat my dick bullets!” can serve as a real attention getter and let everyone know how excited the idea of ejaculating in front of them makes you. This will get them excited as well, and everyone will have a good time as you spray the room with your ball juice.
Next is to carefully consider where to launch your cock splatter. It is a good idea to practice at home ahead of time as much as possible so you can properly determine distance and volume. I practice on my regulars or my assistant. With those measurements in mind, always try to aim your exploding man cannon onto as many women within range as possible.
Don’t worry if the woman is not facing you or doesn’t seem particularly interested in having you shoot your love juice onto her. Rules of gangbang etiquette dictate that your earlier announcement is more than sufficient warning.
Dukes Final Thought
With a little practice and mindfulness, proper gangbang etiquette will become second nature. The most important thing to remember is to have fun! After all, what kind of hopeless faggot can’t enjoy a night of banging some nasty-ass bitches?
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