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its all gone pete tong...

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

THE ROBBERS...It was a Sunday morning, around 11am, Sanny, and Jimmy, both brothers, (sanny being the elder of the two). Jimmy was a wee chunky guy and sanny a bit on the skinny side. And then there’s myself, Sandy. We had just woken up with the hangovers from hell. We had been out clubbing the night before and had given it a right pounding (the drink). I’d awoken to find my guts churning and leapt up off Sanny’s settee and bolted to the toilet, before I’d gotten the door open I’d had my denims half down and could feel my bowels about to erupt like a volcano. I leapt for the toilet pan and before my cheeks touched the cold porcelain and I let forth and almighty torrent of watery diarrhoea, otherwise known as Montezuma’s revenge, Delhi belly and the skits amongst others.

I’d been on the shitter for about ten minutes when it came into my head “oh fuck!! Were doing the job tonight”

The three of us had been watching and planning for 2 months on this job which would keep us flush for a good while. And here we were hung over and still a wee bit pissed.

BANG, BANG, BANG, “Fuck sake Sandy let me in man; I need a shite “Jimmy’s voice groaned at the other side of the door.

“You’re going to have to wait jimmy, or use the fucking bath mate” I replied with a groan of my own. “Open the fucking door then before I shite myself ya dickhead!” “For fuck’s sake Jimmy! “I roared and jumped up off the pan and opened the door and jumped back to my seat on the throne.

Jimmy opened the door like I’d done shortly before and dropped his drawers and sat on the end of the bath and let rip, then the both of us burst out laughing, just picture us two, me on the pan, and jimmy with his big bare arse hanging over the bath, both of us stinking to the high heavens of shit, booze and last night’s curry. Sanny stood in the doorway roaring with laughter at us. Then he bent over and spewed his kebab over his bare feet, “dirty bastards”! He moaned. As the tears were streaming down his cheeks. The funny moment passed and we both pulled ourselves together and started to prepare for the job ahead.

The job in question was a nightclub in Glasgow city centre. It would be holding the weekend’s takings and we were expecting a good haul.

We were to be at the location at 7.30pm and would wait for the owner to arrive, be in and out before the cleaner’s arrived. I would be the first one in behind the manager and have the shooter to his head and get the other two lads in and lock the door behind us. “If all goes well lads we will be on the beach in a couple of days” I said.

I went into the hall cupboard and got our hold all out, inside were the tools for the job, 1x 9mm browning handgun, taped around the handle to prevent fingerprinting. There also were 2 machetes’, 3 boiler suits, 3 pairs of gloves, and 3 ski masks. we also had a bottle of ammonia to cover blood spills in case we left any DNA as once ammonia has contaminated the blood no identification can be made. Crafty piece of thinking in Sanny’s part after watching the discovery channel one night he thought it may come in handy.

I checked the gun was clear and oiled, checked the magazine was fully loaded and clicked on the safety catch. We’d stolen a motor a fortnight before and had false number plates made up to match an identical car we had seen previously, and now was the day of reckoning.

If we get caught at this then the police will be the least of our worries, the owner of the club in question was a very well known and feared Glasgow gangster, with a reputation for extreme violence, with previous convictions for murder, slashing, brutal assaults and throwing acid in enemies faces. So as you can expect we were hyped up for the job, but also shitting ourselves with nerves.

For the rest of the day, we sat around the fire in Sanny’s living room in his wee dingy flat, a room and kitchen, otherwise known as a bedsit.

We had been passing the time with the playstation to keep our nerves in check, before we were to get ready and make our way into the city centre.

At 6.15pm that evening I got my arse up off the settee and went through to the bathroom. I stood and bent over the toilet bowl and let forth a torrent of sickness. My nerves were in turmoil .My brain in hyperdrive. I looked into the toilet and started laughing at the thought of Jimmy and myself that morning with the diarrhoea.

“Time to go! “Sanny’s voice from the toilet door “are you alright big yin?” “Of course I’m alright soppy bollocks!!” I replied, washing my hands and face. We got our shit together and made out way out to the car.

It was pouring down outside as we stepped out into the street, dark clouds above us as we ran to the car and got in. I was the designated driver.

(As usual), As Sanny and Jimmy weren’t the most confident behind the wheel.

We drove out of Kilmarnock and onto the M77 and stuck to a steady 70 mph, so as not to get pulled over by the police for speeding, as we couldn’t afford that!

A rumble of thunder shook the sky, and soon after a fork of lightning lit up the ground all around us for a couple of miles.

“This fucking better go according to plan lads, or were gonna be in deep shit if we get caught” I said to the both of them.

“Aye Sandy, your right there mate, I don’t want to get the concrete wellies or the fucking jail, do ye no fancy putting it off for a few weeks mate? We could even put someone else on to the turn and just get ourselves a cut off what they get?” said Jimmy.

It was evident that he was shitting himself, and he had a lot to lose, a wife, 2 lovely kids and a nice wee house, obviously he didn’t fancy the jail or worse, shot in the head and put in a

shallow grave for being wide enough to try and rob off one of the hardest bastards in Glasgow

“Just don’t fucking worry yourself ya dickhead” Sanny told Jimmy

“If you keep to the fucking plan, were going to be on the beach, with seniorita’s and margerita’s in a few days,” just do as we planned!”I shouted over to the both of them. With ferocity I’d seldom shown to my best friends.

We reached the Kingston Bridge, and entered the city centre, the rain had calmed down a bit and there was a ray of sunshine beaming down on the road ahead. I smiled to myself, it’s going to be ok, I thought. I couldn’t have been more wrong and would rue this night.

But I didn’t know this yet, if I had known I’d have turned the motor around there and then and called the job off.

We drove through the city centre until we found a good parking space close enough for a sharp exit and a good look out for the target. We parked the car across from the alleyway and had a quick fag to calm the nerves.

I had a look around, checking to see if the target was there yet. He usually parked across the road from where we were now sat and we should be able to get a good view of him entering the lane.

The target had always come alone and we were ready to do what it takes and were psyched up and ready for the role ahead. Just then, I noticed a black jeep driving up the street from our rear, it was our target! “Fuck, it’s him, he’s pulled in behind us lads” I groaned. “Never mind it sandy, let’s get to fuck out of here, he fucking knows” said sanny “just shut your mouth and don’t act suspicious” I spat at them. “He doesn’t even know us, so how can he know what’s gonna happen?

And we haven’t told any cunt about it!” I said to them both.

The driver’s door opened behind us, and the target stepped into the street. “Aw no sandy, young arty is with him!” Jimmy groaned. “Looks like someone’s given him a good hiding” I said.

They crossed the road and walked into the alleyway, Arty a few steps behind his father and sucking on a straw. “looks like the last of his kfc” I thought to myself, what has he just eaten?” My mind wandered to food, as id not had anything to munch since the curry last night and I was now ravenous.

“Right, we wait until he puts the code into the alarm, then we grab the young one from behind, put the shooter to his head and get the old bastard to let us in” I told them. Ok? Then we get upstairs, tie them up, do the damage and get to fuck out of there!” I said.

We all got out of the car and eased out way through the traffic and across the road, we walked quietly into the alleyway behind the target and his fat son with the sore face, praying all would work out as planned.

THE GANGSTER VICTIM ... ..Sunday night, I’ve just parked the jeep, and jumped down into the street, I’ve got a splitting sore head, and I’ve just got to go into the club, count the takings for the weekend and take them home, ready to be banked in the morning. I’m with young Arty, my son; he’d got himself into a fight last night with a couple of hoods from the east end of the city, My city!. I’ll have to get a couple of the “hired help” to go and pay the bastards a visit when I’m done here.

“No fucker will mess around with my family, no cunt!”

Young Arthur (his friends and family call him Arty) has got himself a right sore face, his right eye is closed shut and his eyebrow has 15 stitches. His front teeth were knocked out and a broken jaw into the bargain.His jaw is wired shut, and he’s now sucking a milkshake through a straw, as he follows behind me as we head into the alley towards the rear door of the club. “Are you feeling any better son?” I asked over my shoulder. “Mmmph, Mmmph,” he groaned back through his wired jaw. “Don’t worry son, we will get the cunts sorted tonight” I told him “they will be fucking sorry”.

We reached the door, and I punched in the code for the door, I stepped into the gloom and entered the pin number into the alarm console to de-activate the security system.

It was then I heard a scuffle from behind me, I turned around to see 3 masked men, one holding a handgun to young Arthur’s head, just behind his right ear. Arthur tried to pull away and the big one cracked him across the bridge of the nose with the butt of the shooter.

“What the fuck do you pricks think you’re fucking up to eh?” I shouted

“just shut your fucking mouth, do as your told and young fat arse here wont get a fucking bullet in the head, alright?” said the big one of the three.

“Do you fucking wankers know what you’re fucking doing here? You had better let him go right fucking now, I’m in a bad mood as it fucking is, I’ll take that fucking toy off you and shove up your fucking arse!” I spat at the cunts.

“Just get back from the fucking door and quick about it ya auld bastard! Said the wee fat one, as he pushed my son in the door.

The three of them now inside, the door was pulled shut behind them.

“Right, head for the office auld yin, and no fucking funny business or fatboy here gets one in the head, ye hear?” Said the big one, obviously the ringleader of this wee motley crew.

“You three bastards are gonna be fucking sorry, obviously ye know who we are? I said to them. “aye ,our fucking target, and we don’t give a fuck who, or what ye fucking are, ok auld yin?” said wee

fatty “just fucking do as your told and you and wee fatty here will live, otherwise I’ll not fucking hesitate to splatter his fucking brains over your nice suit! Ye hear me?” said fatty.

“Well obviously your here to fucking rob, because if it was a hit we would have got the treatment in the fucking alley!” I said to the one giving the orders.

“Listen Arthur, just go with the flow and we will be away and no cunt will get shot, you know the script Arthur, you have done enough dodgy shit yourself to know how these things work, everything going as it should and were out of here and off with what we came for, if no then a wont fucking hold back for a minute and I’ll whack the fucking both of ye!” He replied.

“Aye, the big cunt knows the score” I thought to myself, I’ll have to take him out first. We reached the top of the stairs and walked over to my office, which was about 20 feet away from the back exit we had just came up. Wee Arthur won’t be much help to me in the state he’s in just now. I looked around at my son, His eye swollen shut, his face in a rage. I could see myself somewhere inside there, he was looking straight back at me, as if to say” Da, fucking do something, ye aren’t going to let these cunt’s get away with this, do

They fucking know who there robbing? They must know what you will fucking do to them!” I just nodded to him and smiled the smile that I used to give the few who had pissed me about over the years.

I walked over and sat behind my desk, a large oak number I’d been given as a present, with a good history. This table had seen some business over the years.

My mind was ticking away “right Arthur, there’s a bayonet strapped to the underside of the desk here and the pair of loaded berretta’s you got for a present from the London firm are in the safe along with the paperwork, weekends takings and that dodgy jewellery you bought the other night, it’s about time you showed these mugs what got you to where you are now!” I told myself.

The two wee cunt’s have only a machete each, big boss here has to go down first, so I’m going for the shooters, I hope I get him good before I catch one myself. I reached over and poured myself a double black label Johnnie Walker from the wee bar beside the desk took a good swallow and enjoyed the fire spreading down my chest. I filled my glass to the top and turned back to face the three fools, who had the fucking audacity to try and rob old Arthur, bastards!

The wee fat one to the left, stood with his machete, looking around my office, one of the many offices around the city, in the different clubs, pubs, hotels, scrap yards and other businesses I own in the city.

I just sat for a minute collecting my thoughts and took another deep swallow from my whisky, savouring the taste.

“Right Arthur get the safe open, we will take what we came for and be gone” said the wee fat one.

I thought I’d give them one last chance to leave before I showed them the real Arthur and killed the fucking 3 of them.

“One last chance sonny boy, you turn about and fuck off out of here and we will just forget you and your two cronies ever came here with bad intentions, what ye say?” I spoke to the leader.

He pushed the barrel of the gun tight against my son’s head and replied”open the fucking safe, now!”

I stood up from the desk and walked slowly over to the portrait of my wife on the far wall. I pulled the frame and it opened, it was on hinges to reveal a digital keypad safe. I started to enter the code, all the while thinking how I’d pull this one off. Get the shooters in my hands, turn around to the left, arms raised and start shooting, as quickly and accurately as possible, while on the move, always side on to create less of a target.

The last number entered into the keypad I pressed enter and heard the telltale click of the locks opening.

“Right, open it and step back auld yin” said the leader

I slowly eased the door open with my back covering what I was doing, I reached in and felt the familiarity of the cold steel. “Got them” I shouted inside my mind. “Time to teach these cunt’s a lesson”

As I turned around I saw shock on their faces, “Fuck, sneaky old bastard” Said the skinny one. Young Arthur dropped to the ground as I cocked back both hammers and levelled my twin terrors at the leader. “Put your fucking gun down or you're all fucking history!” I growled.

The leader just looked down at young Arthur on the floor and shot him in the face, blood spouted out of his eye, which was no longer swollen closed, but imploded by the 9mm bullet.

Arthur lay on the floor now, dead, my fucking son! They will fucking pay the piper.

I started shooting with both hands as I dived behind the big oak desk as two bullets tore into the surface and missed me by inches.

My first two shots missed but my 3rd and 4th, caught skinny bang on target, two in the chest and he was down. Another hit him above the right eye as he was on the way to the floor. And his skull exploded over the fucking wall.

As I rose to one knee and started firing at the big one, I caught him in the leg and he hit the ground, screaming as his shattered knee gave way under his weight. I felt two blows hit me, one in the right shoulder and the other in the stomach, the burning was fucking agony, “I’ll live” I thought to myself, they have killed my son. Bastards! “You killed my fucking boy, now you’re all fucking dead”.

I reached around the side of the desk and aimed for the quiet chunky one, he was crouched in the corner, arms around his head, I caught him right through the hand, another in the shoulder dropped his arms, the next one in the head, blood splattered over the wall along with some grey matter which I knew to be his brains, not that the cunt had used them, coming here to steal off me.

The one I’d kneecapped was screaming some fucking gibberish as he pulled himself along my Axminster carpet, (its funny the things you notice when all around you there is turmoil). I managed to get to my feet, pain wracking my body as the torn flesh released my claret down my good suit. I aimed the gun at him and pulled the trigger, “click, click, click” “ its fucking jammed”

I knew the other was empty! Fuck!

THUMP, THUMP, THUMP, I was back on the ground again, staring up at the ceiling “Bastard got me” I thought.

As the darkness closed around me, the last thing I saw was the leader limping towards the safe, then all went black, and I slipped into oblivion.

.THE POLIS.......The call came in around 8.15pm, shots fired in the city centre in a well known nightclub, Archaos it’s called, one of the notorious Arthur Thomson senior's clubs.

The cid room erupted in a flurry of activity, officers running around, barking orders and grabbing protective vests, and weapons.

We were all geared up and out the door into the transport vehicles and screaming through the city centre.

When we reached our destination, two ambulances, doors ajar, were already there, the paramedics run into the lane ahead of us.

Our van pulled up and out we jumped, as we got out onto the street I noticed Thomson’s 4x4 bmw, the front bumper was hanging off and the lights were smashed in. Glass on the ground, “recently done”, I observed.

As we crossed the road and up the alleyway towards the rear entrance to the nightclub, there were two officers stood at the rear doors, whom moved aside with a nod of recognition. One was my old partner, Alan, we all called him Edd, who was my best man at my wedding, our wives had kept in touch, though we didn’t see eye to eye anymore. Not since our falling out over his handling of a case we had been working on at the time, early last year.

My new partner, Mike and I went up the stairs and into the club, which was well known for it’s drugs and hooker parties, for the odd release from prison of old Thomson’s criminal associates.

We climbed the stairs to the top floor and as we exited the stairwell

There was a flurry of activity, officers were bustling around, the paramedics were trying to stem the flow of blood to a man’s chest while he was being strapped to a gurney.’ There were another two bodies on the floor of the office, both covered over, “must be dead “I thought absently to myself, looks like a bloodbath. As the one being transferred to the gurney was being taken out the room the paramedics were doing their best to keep him alive, his monitor gave off a long tone, which we all know as the heart giving out, they took out the shock pads from the crash pack and tried to keep him alive, 4 shocks later and they gave up. “That’s Thomson gone sir”, one officer said to the lieutenant, Fuck! There will be trouble over this on the streets” We had better get ready for a war. He replied.

The bodies were now being taken away, all pictures and video taken for evidence, I was told to find the security camera and video recording equipment. I had a wander around and found the room (more of a cupboard) where the surveillance equipment was kept, I pressed eject on the video recorder, Nothing, either, there had been no tape in or it was missing, I looked at the floor, there was a blood trail into the room.

Bastard! I thought, “Someone has taken the fucking tape”. I quickly rushed through to the lieutenant, “Sir the tape has gone, blood trail into the room. Who ever done this was wide enough to get the video surveillance and high tail it out of here” I told him. “Get a fucking sample of that blood!” He shouted to the forensics. Who both hurried out of the office towards the video room.

.....So here we were Arthur Thomson and two others dead. An unknown person, losing blood had fled the scene, the safe was lying open and empty, we had a lot to do and we had to act quickly. A call was put out to all officers to be on the streets to see what could be found out from local gangsters etc. and a call was made to all hospitals in the city and surrounding districts for anyone checking into a hospital with possible gunshot wounds. The chase was on, and we were in top gear already. The killer would have to be very intelligent to get away from Strathclyde’s finest.

ME, THE SURVIVOR. As the serious crime squad were busy checking the club for clues I was back in Kilmarnock , I’ve got a mate who is the local vet and who I’ve gone to a couple of times like this, when I couldn’t go near the hospital for fear of alerting the law.... I was in the car at the back of the vet waiting on my mate coming to help me out, once again, but I knew it would cost me a few quid. I had my belt tightly buckled around my thigh to stem the flow of blood ..I heard a car drawing up and looked in the rear view mirror and was glad to see it was Casey, the vet.he was a friend of mine my whole life and has never let me down in my time of need, always a guy to rely on !! there was no one outside my family closer to me than casey .... He opened his door and came across to my motor. “Are ye all right man? Come on I’ll help ye in before ye bleed to death there”. Once in the vet he cut open my denims and had a look at my knee which wasn’t actually that bad after the blood had been cleaned up. I got an x ray and he could see the bulled had hit the bone and ricocheted away, taking a couple of fragments with it.

A shot of morphine and a few stitches and I was good to go. It would heal, not like my two mates left lying there in that old Bastards office. I gave Casey a grand, he told me not to be so bloody daft, and gave me his keys for his other home in helens bay, south of belfast city on the coast, he didnt want my money, he was happy to help me anytime i needed him and knew id always be there for him ... then i turned and hobbled out to the motor. I drove up towards my girlfriends flat and on the way I phoned her and told her to pack a few clothes and other stuff we would need to go away for a wee while till things calmed down. I’ll give her brownie points as she asked no questions and just done as I asked. When I got there she was out and in the car with two cases and we were off to the ferry in Troon heading for Belfast and the notorious shankill estate. then from there to the quiet helens bay town........ maybe,,, keep the options open ive always said,, lol .. tell no one where ur base is.. I stopped off along the way to sort things out and get rid of the shooter and clothing I’d used on the job. The clothes I poured petrol over and lit them and watched them burn to cinders. The shooter I dismantled and took to my mates garage and put it to the grinder wheel,, nothing left but steel dust, totally untraceable. . The goodies were put in the bottom of lthe missus's case and we boarded the ferry.

We left the docks that night on the last ferry at 11pm. what a fucking night it had been.

Two mates dead, myself very lucky not to be there with them. As we left Troon harbour i stood at the back of the ferry me with a bottle of Johnnie walker to dim the pain. As the tears flowed freely down my face. I knew I’d never set foot in Scotland again. Belfast held a new start for me. Bring it on!.

MORE TO BE ADDED!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

let me know what you think folks, hope you enjoy!!! feedback would be appreciated

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Different could be the next Andy McNabb

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By *stwo80Couple
over a year ago

yorkshire

Linking anyone to Andy McCrap is one hell of an insult !!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

well said, lol im writing more to it now, and also have loads of short stories ive written, and im in process of writing a full length book , will add more soon. thanks for reading

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By *oulou45Woman
over a year ago

Bucks

Very good.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Looking forward to hearing more!

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