FabSwingers.com forum: The Notebook

By *es not the Messiah OP Man
9 weeks ago

3rd rock from the sun

It had been a while but I had found somewhere I enjoyed hanging out. The club seemed to have a good mix of people covering the whole D/s spectrum and a relatively even mix of both sexes and preferences.

I spent my the majority of the time kneeling on an empty cushion in the chat circle but away from most of those there just observing. I wasn't looking for anything new but did enjoy being around people with the same interests and dynamics. I always remained polite and respectful when addressed although my sass did eventually slip out with a few that I had interacted with a little more.

I had seen this Miss around several times during the first few months but I have never engaged with her directly. I did notice that she always had on a black pencil skirt or pants and a crisply ironed white blouse. It certainly made her stand out in the crowd. I had never really spoken with her other than polite greetings.

I don't know how long it had been but one day i happened to notice a dark green leather bound notebook sitting on the arm of her chair. It couldn't have been more than a small diary size but had as far as i could see 4 coloured tabs on the pages. I didn't think much more about it as she may just have had it with her before coming along that day.

I did notice over the next few weeks that the notebook made an appearance on several occasions. Some days it was on the arm of her chair other tucked into the pocket of her blouse. I must admit it did intrigue me. I had no clue what she was using the notebook for. On the first occasion i noticed her writing in it I saw her writing something in one of the later divisions in the book, closing it then slipping what looked like a small pencil into the binding before placing it on the arm of her chair again. I had no clue at this point that I was the subject of the notebook.

The weeks passed and I noticed more notes being made at what seemed like random times. Normally it was while the club was busy and there was a lot of conversation going on including interaction from myself.

One day on my arrival to the club the place was packed. Most of the chairs and cushions were taken. I stepped off to the side and stood quietly. I would never take a place on a cushion next to a Miss without first gaining permission and the way everyone was sitting there was always a Miss next to any spare location.

I don't think I was standing there long before the Miss caught my eye. There was a free cushion to her right with a free chair to the right of that.

"Please feel free to use this cushion Heather" she said motioning with her hand towards it.

I hesitated for a second before asking if she was sure.

"I am sure Heather. We cant have you cluttering the place up making it look untidy" came her response. Her voice carrying enough authority to make sure i did as she instructed. I noticed a couple of the other Mistresses look across at me after hearing her words.

I quickly walked around the outside of the circle and stepped forward kneeling down on the cushion. I felt a cold shiver run down my spine as my knees hit the soft fabric. Feeling the material wrap around my knees as i pressed into the cushion a strange nervousness came over me. I couldn't explain it. Maybe it was just because this was the first time here that a Miss had instructed me to do anything. I have been next to a Miss before but she had always taken her seat after I was already kneeling. Something about this just felt different.

I was there a few seconds when i noticed she had pulled the notebook from her breast pocket and was turned away from me the book on the left armrest of her chair making a note on one of the pages. Closing the notebook and putting the pencil away in the books spine she lifted it across to the right armrest and sat with her hand on the the top of it.

I could just see the edge of some gold lettering embossed into the front cover but couldn't read what it said. We both remained quiet not engaging with each other but we were both taking to the other people present. A few of the other Mistresses were giving me the occasional glance. They seemed to be looking at me more than normal. Maybe I was just imagining it. My nerves getting the better of me. I didn't notice but i was fidgeting on my cushion moving around a lot more than i normally would.

I don't know how long I had been there or moving as i was when her hand moved from its position covering the notebook and came to rest on my shoulder her fingers sliding under my hairline and running down the back of my neck. I couldn't help myself I froze in place.

"Relax Heather" came her whispered words. I couldn't. I know I had revealed this tell of mine during a discussion night at the club but I had forgotten that she had been in attendance that night and she had taken notice of it.

Her fingers started to slowly caress along my spine, my head instinctively dropped forward. I looked round at her sitting there with a slight smile on her face. Thats when I saw it. It was my name in the gold embossed lettering on the front of the notebook. My body froze again.

"Something wrong Heather?" her words quiet against the general chat

"no Miss i stammered"

"Good. I would hate to think i was making you nervous Heather" she said with a slight chuckle "oh and Heather its Ms not Miss" She knew that despite my answer she was making me nervous. I am sure she could feel it through the tips of her fingers

I just nodded in acknowledgement. I kept glancing at the front of the notebook. Why was it my name? What was it for? What were the sections of the book for? so may questions running through my mind.

Her hand still resting on my shoulder. It wasn't a comfort to me at this moment it just made me feel worse. I started questioning if i should stay here or make a quick exit. Looking around the room i caught several of the other mistresses smiling at me. Did they know something I didn't?

I shifted my position and just looked to the floor in front of me "calm down Heather" i whispered to myself. closing my eyes i just focused on my breathing long deep and slow tuning out the conversations in the club, desperately trying to calm my mind. I didn't need to know about the notebook or its contents. I didn't know her or her me, I told myself. I was just imagining things. Her hand resting on my neck a reminder that it wasn't my imagination.

Slowly I got myself back under control. My body relaxing, my mind calming, my breathing slow and regulated. Thank god for all the coaching on stress management I had gone through at work. This was the last place i expected it to help me though.

I had no idea how much time had passed when i finally felt her had leave my shoulder. I instinctively looked round to see her stating to stand. turning to face me she picked up the notebook and held it by her side. "please come with me Heather. we need to talk"

The nerves returned instantly on hearing her words. She started to walk off. I to this day don't know why but I stood and started to follow her through to a quieter corner of the club where there was private seating with coffee tables arranged in groups of 2 or three. She walked over to one away from everyone else and sat down placing the notebook on the edge of the table, the bottom edge of the book neatly in line with the edge of the table. I missed that she had placed it very specifically that way although i was unaware of that at this moment.

"Please Heather kneel" came her words carrying the same tone as her instruction for the cushion earlier. I was slowly starting to realize that she had an innate sense when it came to using the tone of her voice to control others. I obeyed with out thinking. I knelt there this time in front of her my eyes looking to the floor at her feet.

"I know you are wondering why you are here Heather and what the notebook is for" The commanding tone in her voice for the moment had gone, replaced by something quieter and softer.

I looked up. "Yes Miss I am" i whispered my nervousness not allowing me my normal vocal range.

I realized as soon as the word Miss left my lips that I had made a mistake. "oh Heather I thought you were going to be better than that." her words harsh. Leaning forward and picking up the notebook she opened it to the last section and started writing a new entry. once finished she placed the notebook back where it was but this time open at the page. My eyes followed her hands as she did so and rested on the open page as she sat back in her chair.

"What does the entry say Heather?"

I knelt up slightly and started to read it allowed. I read out todays date and the approximate time then the comment that i had failed to address her properly after being instructed on it not 20 minutes previously. The next line of the entry stated no punishment at this time as it was the first time that I had been asked following her instruction.

"You were lucky this time Heather. Normally that would have earned you a demerit."

I couldn't take my eyes from the page in the book. We both sat quiet for a few minutes. She was letting me absorb the fact that this notebook could spell a lot of trouble for me.

"I guess you would like me to explain the notebook Heather?

"Yes Ms I would" this time managing to remember her title. a smile flashing across her lips as i said it.

"well Heather these notebooks are something that I started using a long time ago in this lifestyle when new submissives takes my interest. I use it for four main things Heather. Hence the coloured sections.

"section 1 the blue tab is just generally about you. age, sex, orientation, preferences and TELLS" she said putting all her emphasis on the last word. "section 2 the green tab is around your behaviors. Those ones that match with mine. Section 3 the orange tab is your miss behaviors. Things that i would need to work on correcting if you became mine. There are several things to work on there Heather" her voice stern. My eyes had dropped and i was again looking down to her feet.

I feel her hand come in contact with my chin lifting my head so i am looking at her. "The last section Heather, the red one is your demerits. That section would have earned you several serious punishments by now and no they would not have been fun for you" one again the commanding edge is back in her voice. I once again feel a shiver run down my spine.

"I have a task for you Heather".

"Yes Ms"

"You are to leave here for the day and take the notebook with you. You are to study it all but especially sections three and four. If you wish to go forward with this you are to return and kneel here tomorrow and place the notebook back on the table. I will return at some point and we can discuss what happens next" her tone soft but still with an authoritative edge. "If you do not wish to pursue this you can keep the notebook which will signal your decision. Do you understand Heather?"

"Yes Miss I do" again i know instantly i got it wrong. her eyebrow instantly lifts.

"I will pretend that I didn't hear that this time Heather. I know its your nerves talking" Looking down at me her lips pressed no sign of a smile.

"Until tomorrow Heather" she says as she rises from her seat. "Do not disappoint me Heather" come her words as she walks off back to the main club space.

I kneel there for a little while my eyes on the notebook. What do I do now i ask myself. I stand picking up the notebook and closing it. I take a deep breath then start to head for the exit.