So after a wonderful day of doing wholesome activities with a play partner we decided to indulge in some rope play.
It had been a long day for us both so we chose to freshen up separately in the shower before hand and being the gent I let her go first.
After maybe 90 minutes of play we collapsed on the sofa and had a little natter and a debrief of the evenings splendour.
As we called it a night there was a realisation that something was missing, someone had decided to surprise the other with a decorative anal adornment and it wasn’t me sporting the bling
The tone of the room went from a relaxed atmosphere to, where the hell is it and how the heck are we going to get it out.
One of us was obviously a lot calmer than the other, and having had an aunt who had worked in an emergency room in the past I quickly recalled a story of a poor lady who had sat on a pool table and had “accidentally” ingested a pool ball in the “back door”.
I quickly lubed up a hand and encouraged her to lay back and relax,,,,,, easier said than done I could only imagine. Slowly using a couple of fingers I gently started to unlock the front door, caressing the partition wall that separated the living room from the out house, getting in almost to the 3rd knuckle and feeling like a cross between an amateur gynaecologist, a midwife and a slenderman I could feel something a little tougher than a turd and with a glimmer of hope I started to slowly massage it downwards to freedom, thinking this was almost a done deal she started to relax but then with a small yelp we both realised there was a kink in the pipe so to speak.
Not wanting to release the prized treasure from my tentative grip I kept my hand in place and with the other I gingerly started to mine a route for the offending article to be freed from the direction it had entered, luckily by this point it was only 2” away from freedom and with a steady two handed motion I caressed it the towards the departure gate. To my shock as it started to crown I realised it was BREACH, this thing had done a cheeky 180 while on its little adventure, popping it out as far as the narrow shank, my play partner eagerly grabbed the end and withdrew it with a huge sigh of relief and darted off to the restroom to clean up and inspect for any damage.
Luckily apart from a tear to the eye and the potential shock and embarrassment of having a festive trip to the ER everything was good. Needless to say wed both had enough action for the evening so we decided a much needed hug and a there there was in order.
What have we learned from this?????,,,,,,, who knows,,,,,, will it happen again?????,,,,,,,, probably.
Be careful out there, even flared bases can be hoovered by a hungry hungry hippo. |
