FabSwingers.com forum: My dressing journey

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Never too sure where my desire to dress came from but know it was not sexual. I started like many by borrowing family clothes, getting caught a couple of times.

There was no one I could talk to about it and at first did not deal with it well. It helped derail my university degree as I was trying to deal with it and other feelings. I have some vague memory of going to a brothel for some forced dressing, not a good memory.

I then discovered true crime mags and wanting to be the woman in bondage on the cover.

In my mid twenties I went to a dressing service and got made up for the first time, as a waitress. Looking in the mirror I felt at peace.

When I moved to the UK I tried to explore more. Like many I went through phases and got rid of everything and then bought again. I chatted on a TV website and tried to follow orders from a domme but could not fully go through as don't agree with involving others who did not know.

I did a professional photo shoot in London and could not get over the results. When I sent the pictures to friends they refused to believe it was me.

I remember buying a pvc outfit for my first kink event dressed. I went to a friend's for a make up lesson the day before and she explained that as I was going dressed, it did not have to be fetish so we swapped outfits.

At the event a good friend did not recognise me until I spoke. Someone told me I reminded them of their school headmistress, not exactly the vibe I was going for.

Over the next while the kink scene gave me more opportunities to dress. Each time someone new was going to meet Maria I was nervous as hell but once dressed the confidence came out.

I remember getting a make over at the bbb and then going for lunch in the Chinese quarter in broad daylight and no one batting an eye. I remember walking out of a hotel in new York dressed on the way to a kink club with 2 dommes.

I remember a domme arranging for me to give my first bj dressed as she knew I wanted to try but too scared to arrange.

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I used to read a lot of erotica about sissies being used and humiliated. I knew there was a difference between sissies and tvs and I wanted to explore the sexual side of my sissy more.

On various sites I had many chats with men about what they wanted to do with me, but most of the chats led nowhere. Either the distance was too far, I didn't feel safe or they were married. Or they wanted things I did not want to do.

I envied many other tvs and sissies who were out there having fun and exploring and serving men.

I had a couple of meets off the now defunct CL and eventually tried here. Again at first there were lot of chats and little else. I eventually got a few meets and got to practice my o skills. I soon realised while it did not physically arouse me to give a man a bj it did something mentally. Many stories say its not about the sexual pleasure of the sissy but more that of the man they are trying to please.

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Appreciate that as there is little sex this won't be of much interest to many here.

The exploring I want to do many did at younger age but family, religion, expectations and my own lack of knowledge and confidence did not allow me to do it then.

I lost a lot of confidence and put most clothes in the attic a few months ago maybe as a step eventually get rid of. I recently took a couple back down and took a couple of new photos so maybe not done with my sissy and TV sides just yet.

Though need to remember there is a huge difference between fantasy and reality.