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I hope he looks down with approval on how I turned out.
A good part / % of I am who I am is because of his influence and his generosity with his time.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I don't have a memory of John not being there.
When asked by the police how long I'd known him, I paused and tilted my head.
Now that I'd been asked, I had to think.
I can remember him getting me a big fucker of a teddy for what I now know was my second birthday. I didn't know at the time it was my second birthday. At that point it was a case of that man who called me "wee man" and daddy "matey", the man who tickled me and made me scream with delight had given me a teddy. My dad didn't approve. He thought I was too old for teddies. At two! I screamed the place down when he took it off me. So much so I was sick. John bounced me on his knee and soothed me as I sobbed in to his shirt, fingers in my mouth, snot dribbling out my nose. Mum and dad rowed, I got my teddy back.
John told me much later at his delight my first words were "c*nt" and "fuck". His doing, secretly "teaching" to me and laughing as he did so. Hadn't occurred to him I'd get smacked for doing so. The fact that I had done so at gran's in front of the visiting minister probably didn't help.
John was always my "sitter" - I don't ever remember anyone else - and we had our secrets.............a "pinkie promise" never to let on to my folks. It was a given that John's "guardian sitting" privileges would be at threat had they known if when being watched over at John's whilst they were away I got to sit up late with him, lemonade and crisps was mandatory, watching horror films well unsuitable for an eight year old. I loved them. And I loved him. He was my bestie. He introduced me to Laurel and Hardy. We both hated Abbott and Costello. I was watching "Shaun the sheep" the other day thinking how much John would have loved it. For fuck sake..............MORE tears!
In my youth I had a bit of "a voice". Ended up always the lead in school productions. Which meant heaps of lines to learn. John got me word perfect during lines-learning at his. He came to every production and clapped / cheered the loudest. He lent me braces for a costume which snapped during my main routine, much to the amusement of the audience and in turn the accident got me the biggest cheer at the end-of-production bows. More likely the cheers were because I forgot the "always treat a microphone as live" rule that John had drilled in to me and muttered "Fuck sake" when the braces snapped. I noticed the Deputy Head wasn't clapping............ well not until the Headmaster - clapping enthusiastically - muttered in to his ear. Sour faced, toadying little shitebag.
By the time I went to High school, John had persuaded me to give up the violin - much to mother's fury - and take up the flute instead. Dad was right made up.
Even then, first year at High School, I looked older than my age. John secretly taught me to drive at 12 and at 14 he got me a job working in a shop and driving a van for the brother of a very famous actor. It would be very unfair to name him, albeit his Succession is assured. Different times right enough. As I write this, a memory has come unbidden of John coming with me one Saturday morning to collect the pies from the bakery. Unbeknown to us at the time, John hadn't closed the back door of the van properly. We found this out going up a brae when the back door popped out and 5 trays / 70 pies fell out. One tray fell "face down" destroying the pies, the other four trays acted as sledges as the pies sped away. We became aware of this hiccup because of horns tooting and brakes screeching. "FUCK" was John's response. 40-odd pies were salvageable. Of those 40-odd, about 15 had to be set aside to have the dust and grit rinsed out of them when we got back. Yip, different times. You can feel the dust and grit in your mouth right now, dear reader, can't you? Quick trip back to the bakery for replacement pies - for which John paid by cheque, for those under 40, look it up - and so far as I knew the boss never knew. He did mention he had been asked if he was getting any more of those crunchy pies in. I looked suitably "confused" and we laughed.
I'd better not tell you how old I was when John took me out drinking. As I said, I looked older than my age.
I left school and on to Uni, the first on either side of my family to do so. Maths / Economics and this new fangled thing called Computing & Programming. John lost the fight with my dad to let me go to Uni to continue my French and German. "A degree in languages is as useful as a fucking bus ticket", dad declared. Mother sobbed a lot during these "discussions". In an act of teenage spite, I deliberately failed my higher Maths but that plan backfired because I'd got 93% in my Pre-Lim so the Appeal to the exam board was a given. John KNEW I had done it deliberately as opposed to having had 'a bad day' and was not impressed. That was the understatement. "Swear to me on my life you will never again pull such a stupid c*nt stunt again", he demanded. He was clenching his fists, I was almost sure he was going to lamp me. I promised. A very very rare shaky moment in our friendship. There was one more - details in a later chapter - where I was certain I had derailed our association, despite the fact I did what I did because I loved him.
My 18th was a quiet affair, I didn't want a big fuss or a party. Mother was disappointed. Me, mum, dad, John and a couple of mates from school. John hosted.
The week after my 18th, John and I nearly died. I'm saying that with hindsight. Hindsight allows me to see how serious the situation was rather than something to be laughed about. I did initiate a "pinkie promise" though not to tell anyone but at that time it was not to tell anyone about our stupidity.
We had gone out for a walk along the beach. The tide was out and we enjoyed squelching across sea and splooshing in the wet sand. It was only the fact there was a sudden downpour that caused us to think about turning back.............. to discover the tide had come in but around us. We were standing on the one bit of very wet sand, a wee island in what was quite fast water. Bummer. We laughed and made our way back to shore - a good half mile away and were chest deep in water. Thankfully our feet were at that moment still on solid. That wasn't going to last long. "Can you swim?", asked John. "Of course", I said, quite amused by our predicament (yup, teenagers!). The amusement evaporated when I saw the panic on John's face. Before I asked, he announced "I can't. Well not very well". What the hell did he mean he couldn't swim? . He was JOHN for fuck sake, he could build a shed, he could cook better than any woman, he could drink 10 pints and still pass a sober. Of course he could swim. Hmmm, apparently not.
"RIGHT!", I said, taking charge. here is what we are gonna do. No argument from you hon" (oh hell, did I just call him "hon"? He was too panicked to notice).
I went behind him and put my arm around his chest. "John, mate, I love you to bits. You are my best friend and my mentor"..........
In an attempt to impress on him the urgency he did as he was told I blurted "I'd suck your cock if you asked and/or bend over for you........... either / or / and on demand, no questions asked"
"Lucky me", John said, "but we have to live for me to take you up on it and see if you will pony up or are all talk", he smiled. Well as best he could in his panic which was rising as fast as the water.
"Best offer I've had all week", he said "even if it is just to calm me down and I appreciate the effort. For the record mate, I love you too but right now I'm fuckijng scared. Am shitting my pants"
John being scared was not acceptable.
"I've trained for this exact situation", I lied - I had done no such thing - "So please don't argue with me, you normally being the boss and me 'the lad'........ right now I need you to trust me, do as you are told without question. I'm begging you mate. I have never begged anyone for anything in my life but I am begging you now.............please trust me to get you......... us....... out of this little hiccup and do exactly what you are told and when. I love you to bits mate and I am NOT abandoning you"
"Little hiccup my arse",John wheezed
"JOHN !", I cut him off. Perhaps not the best grammatical description given the tide was doing its best to do just that and take us both down to Lady Tethys.
"Right", I said "here goes................ lean back against me and then lift your feet up off the ground"
"ARE YOU OFF YOUR FUCKING............." he began but we both went under as I assumed he would do as he was told and had grab / pulled accordingly.
I pulled him up and we both spat out water. I didn't have the time for this. WE didn't have the time for this.
I got behind him again but this time I grabbed his cock with force and squeezed hard. He gasped in shock. I had his undivided attention.
"JOHN! You said you love me. That means fuck all to me mate, nothing, if I don't have your unquestioning trust. If you don't trust me we are going to DIE. Both of us. Not just you because you can't swim. BOTH of us because I love you and I am not abandoning you, I'm going down with you". Against the water, I pulled his zip down and popped his cock out his underwear and the zip in to the water. I grabbed hard............. "...and they will find us entwined with my hand wrapped around your cock"
He nodded, shocked
"You can beat me up when we get back to land", I promised.
"Right", I said wrapping my spare arm round his chest, "2nd go. Lean back and lift your feet".
He did so this time and I begun what turned out to be a very lengthy backwards motion towards shore.
"You are doing great mate", I cooed, "doing great. I love you SO much........... my best best friend"
"Can I put my cock back in? It's fucking freezing", John asked.
"I'll do it", I offered. I didn't want him upsetting the balance and equilibrium and said so.
"OK, but wait a mo, John said, "I need to pee"
So did I but I didn't have the luxury of my cock out. Then again I was fucking soaked so what difference was a bit of pee. We both peed. In our predicament I found time to muse it was the first time - well since I gave up nappies - that I had peed myself and it was strangely liberating. Before anyone asks........ no,yellow aint my thing. I've never done it since. It was an emergency.
"Done", announced John
As I back paddled, I fed his cock back in to his jeans and zipped him up. I kept my hand on his crotch. For balance of course 
"I love you", I said for the umpteenth time
"You really think we're gonna die, don't you?", John asked.
"Not now", I said, "we are on the home stretch. But our predicament made me enunciate things that guys are not supposed to say to one another".
Probably ten minutes later - felt MUCH longer - our feet found traction again. There wasn't a lot of water but we went under again.
I was up first and pulled John up. I drag / pulled / stumbled with him to shore and we collapsed on to the wet sand, coughing. The incoming tide tried to grab us back. In five minutes there would be no sand left. I patted John "Come on, let's get to the steps whilst they are still there". We did, soaked through with sand and sea in our hair.
"We are going back to mine", John announced, back in charge. We were able to splodge our way back. By good luck didn't meet anyone we knew.
We went to the back door to enter through the kitchen. John dropped his keys four times trying to unlock the door. Eventually he got the door open and entered. I stood awkwardly on the steps completely aware of the mess he was making on the floor. He turned around "What are you standing THERE for?", he demanded, "get your fat arse in here NOW and close the door for the heat". FAT ARSE? the cheeky bastard. I am not an admirer of arses - wouldn't know a nice arse if my life depended on it - but I'm always told mine is nice and pert. And apparently very shaggable (he said modestly). I squelched in and shut the door as ordered. Rather bizarrely under the circumstances the first thing John did was fill the kettle and put it on.
"Come on mate, get em off", he demanded
"oooh, best offer I've had all week", I said, parroting what he had said to me earlier.
"You've had a bad week then", was the retort.
I stripped in 8 seconds flat. My socks felt the wettest.
John did likewise and fed our clothes in to the washing machine.
It was the first time I had seen him naked. What a sight, he was gorgeous. Toned, hairy. A right masculine man. I tried and failed not to stiffen. Thankfully it was only a semi.
John looked at me. He looked deflated. He came right up to me chest to chest and put his arms around me and pulled me in.
"I ought to smack fuck out of you, you bastard", he said
"Oh oh, here we go", I thought, "the cock conversation"
"I want an honest, no bullshit, best friend to best friend answer from you", he said, raising eyebrows in question
"Yes sir, I promise", I said whilst parsing the "best friend to best friend" comment
"Yes sir?", he queried, "yer no' at school now mate."
I nodded, bracing myself
He put his face up against mine
"Were you REALLY gonna stay there and die with me?"
Well that wasn't what I was expecting to be being beaten up for.
I nodded yet again
"You are a fucking IDIOT", John said, bursting in to tears.
No, no, NO! John didn't cry.
"I could kick your c*nt in", he sobbed, "you stupid little bastard. Stupid, STUPID!"
I muzzled him
"John mate, getting cut off by the tide was the stupid bit and that was both of us. I could no better leave you there to die than I could give up wanking my morning wood. You are my most trusted friend, my mentor, I look up to you and I am who I am because of your generosity of time towards me. It would have been a privilege to die there by your side. More so, I couldn't have lived with myself if you had died. I'd have been crushed and guilt ridden. I love you"
He sobbed harder and shook. I'm presuming now shock was kicking in.
I ruffled his hair and kissed his neck. Truth was, as you may have guessed, I was enjoying being pressed naked against him. His man smells were awesome and erection inducing but thankfully our hips were pressed and my cock pulsed / twiched to the side, hopefully un-noticed. Looking back, I think that right there was where my love of armpits started.
"Please John mate, please don't cry. We're safe now. A pair of right stupid c*nts"
He sobbed more and shook
"Come on mate", I said, "the kettle has boiled". That sounded lame as it came out my mouth.
But it worked
He laughed mid-sob
"You and tea", he giggled, "trumps everything, don't it?"
I laughed too
"Tell you what", he said, "I'll brew up, you go shower. Plenty towels there"
As I made off he added "and feel free to bang one out whilst in there. I do". So my hardon hadn't gone un-noticed after all.
I showered but didn't wank. Felt much better. Towelled off and took it down with me for the washing basket. Not wrapped around me, went back down naked.
Whilst I was showering, John hadn't made tea after all. There was two steaming mugs of tomato soup and heaps of toast.
"I'll shower, you help yourself, but leave me SOME toast. I've put the fire on through the house".
He grinned and left.
The soup was roasting so I put it back down to cool. Then changed my mind and took the two hot mugs through to the cosy living room. As I was returning for the toast, the washing machine stopped and I heard a distinct "uuugh uuuuuuuuugh uuuuuuuugh" as John pumped his load in the shower. Instant hard-on. What a waste. His load I mean
He clumped downstairs and I heard him empty the washing machine. He returned in a dressing gown (dammit!) and handed me one "Keep you warm", he announced. I dutifully put it on with a "thanks mate" I didn't mean. As I belted it up, John was right against me again.
"No mate, the thanks are mine". He shook his head " I am SO angry at you but my heart is thumping out my chest with pride and gratitude. I don't know what to say to you............."
"Pinkie promise?", I suggested, ".........that our collective stupidity goes no further than this house. The tide will wash away all evidence of our escapade"
John joined pinkies with me and pressed his head against mine
"You stupid STUPID fuck", he said again.
"Dinna you start greetin' again ye wee Jessie", I demanded.
He laughed and then frowned and left. I heard clattering. He man-handled the clothes horse through with our clothes on it.
"Dry quicker here. An hour tops methinks." I nodded in agreement. I was aching for him. Our near death had shredded the "no, we shouldn't". Should have had a wank. He left again and returned with our shoes stuffed with newspaper.
"Kettle re-boiling", he announced, "but soup and toast first".
We scoffed that. Next was tea, more toast and a brand new pack of ginger nuts. Four hefty mugs of tea later all the biscuits were gone.
"I've got a jelly set in the fridge if you fancy some"
I fancied him but didn't say so.
"No thanks", I said, "I'll pass. Anyway, you putting milk on your jelly gives me the boke. The only other person I've seen do that is my great-granddad
He looked offended but laughed. He felt up the clothes.
"All dry", he announced, "you staying for tea?"
"We've had four mugs already and I've actually got to make DINNER for my folks getting home, you grammatical ignoramus. It's just macaroni and chips but you are welcome to join us"
"Na mate, you're fine", he replied
"Right, I'll get dressed and get out of your way", I said, pulling off the dressing gown and throwing it on to the chair, deliberately standing there naked.
He came up to me
"Let me be clear mate, You are NOT in my way. Not now, not ever. I will always be there for you. I am SO proud of you, I could burst. 18 going on 40"
Without thinking I leaned in and kissed him gently. Full on the lips. But just a peck. No tongues. I then punched his chest gently.
I got dressed, deliberately putting t-shirt on first and spread my legs in a triangle, cock full on display. Oh dear oh dear, t-shirt got stuck on my head. How did that happen? ha ha ha. I pulled it down in fake frustration accompanied by a fake frown but not before I had swung my cock in the efforts.
Finished dressing, I ruffled my hair. Looking at the clock I announced "might even have time for a wank before the folks get home"
"You should have done that before you got dressed", John observed.
"Yea, you told me to and I didn't", I rolled my eyes. "It will keep. Double load for the morning"
"Son, you are 18, you're cooking a new batch 30 seconds after you heave" John grinned
I laughed him and held my fist out for a "bump".
Got two and then with a "see you Tuesday", toddled home.
You will have gathered by now that John and I were tight. Had been for years now and our near-death-experience had strengthened that. I don't mean he was a parent substitute. A supplement. I was brought up in a very loving household, My mum and dad were what was known then as working class and they strived and scrimped so that I would do "better". But, to be blunt, I think they would have disowned me - and then some - had they any notion that girls didn't interest me. I wondered if John knew and if he would ever bring it up. I toyed with the notion of grabbing the bull by then horns and confiding in him. I was sure he would be fine with it and keep my confidence. I knew the two women he was banging and had never mentioned it to anyone, not even dad. But to my shame. there was a lingering doubt. Just 2% but there nevertheless.
My dad wasn't in to porn per se so nothing to discover accidentally. He used to buy me a magazine called "Forum", owned by Penthouse if I remember, which was articles and letters based. Not to mention obligatory 'problem pages'. "I will not have you embarrassed about sex", dad declared. .He had pre-warned me that there might be stuff in there I might not approve of......... "Poofs and men in women's clothes" but just to remember that we were all different and they all had beating hearts and were someone's son and daughter. "So long as their needs are consensual and legal - and they will be in that mag - just skip the ones you don't like" was his advice. He pointed out the page number in one issue of four women having an orgy as one he thought I might particularly enjoy. If only he knew. "Forum" was me and my dad's secret. Just the lads. Mother - so far as I know - didn't know. I devoured them. I remember one copy that had so many "interesting" letters - wanking techniques and man on man actions - I bought myself another copy and folded over the pages with my favourite letters at the corner so I could get to them easier. I even circled the header on two letters. On hindsight, under my mattress wasn't the best hiding place. When it went missing, I mentioned it to dad, worried that mum had found it. "I lent it to John", he said, "with a few other ones, Half a dozen or so".
Oh bugger.
tbc
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Having shoved the ice cream in to the freezer, John then got a big mixing bowl out and tipped all the chips in
"These won't keep, we will have to trough them all. Hope your legs are right hollow tonight".
He debated and opened one carton of rice.
He decided on beef curry, I was having the opened chicken one. The other four plus soup and rice were left to cool to go in to fridge and/or freezer. I wasn't sure about reheating reheated rice.
"Mind your own business and don't be such a whine", I was told as he grabbed plates and forks.
"Let's go", he said, "oh........... grab a bag of crackers, at least THEY will keep, and get some beers out the fridge".
"What did your last Sl*ve die of?", I asked
"Not doing as he was fucking well told" was the response, "...........now move that scrawny arse of yours"
Scrawny arse. The bloody cheek of him. At least it was an improvement on "fat arse" from the other day in chapter 1.
The spring rolls were GORGEOUS. I managed to wangle four.
John watched in amusement as I scooped curry in to the Prawn crackers to make them sizzle. All these years later it is STILL my favourite thing to do with curry.
"So what porn you want on?", John asked
"UN", I mumbled
I swallowed and mouth now empty I clarified my 'none', "I'd rather just eat and blether"
"Suit yourself", said John, "but mind and wash your hands after 'cause if you spill that spicy curry on them you will burn your cock when you pull it later".
I tutted and rolled my eyes.
I swigged beer but with too much food in my gob I snorted and something came out my nose.
"For christ sake, slow down", demanded John, "it aint a race"
I burped and grinned.
Have to say, the chips were class. Bizarre as it sounds, I based my 'review' of a place depending on how good their chips were. My perverse logic was that if they couldn't get chips right, there was no chance for the rest of it.
"So", said John, "I was wanting to blether with you about those Forum mags your dad lent me"
The chips turned to dust in my mouth.
"What about them?", I asked trying to sound nonchalant but I could feel my ears turning pink and it wasn't the effects from the curry.
"This stuff is really good", I tried to divert
"Uh huh, I quite agree", said John, "thing is, there was two. copies of one of them........."
(Damn, that worked............ NOT!)
"...........I assume one of the copies was yours"
"They are all mine", I attempted, "I'm buying it now"
"OK then", said John, "the dog-eared, WELL-thumbed one is your extra under-the-mattress copy"
I shrugged. "What of it?"
"Just asking", said John. "I'm not trying to embarrass you".
"Not embarrassed in the slightest", I lied. Blushing.
"Why are you blushing?", John asked
"I aint", I lied again, "as you noticed, this curry is fucking HOT. I think my balls are on fire, never mind my mouth and my nose".
John tilted his head
"I thought we were mates"
"We ARE", I tutted, "but you are interrupting a damn good curry. All the better tasting because it was FREE!".
I tried to fake burp but ended up causing quite a trumpet of a fart.
"OOOPS. Better out than in. Jesus that BURNED"
We ate in silence. My mind was doing cartwheels. I was sure John could hear it whirring.
Having finished mine - and helped myself to some of John's, the fried rice was actually nice too - in an effort to "change the subject" I picked up my plate and started to lick it clean, just to annoy him.
"Do you trust me?", John asked softly
Hmmm. Something else that didn't work. I was losing my touch. Looking back it was more likely he had neither intention of being diverted NOR maybe even humouring me by pretending to be diverted. I stopped mid-lick.
"What is this? Twenty questions?", I tried to laugh it off.
"Twenty three", John said, "Do you TRUST me?"
I put my plate down. Or tried to and the plate missed my knee and rolled along the floor
"Hmm...", said John, "couldn't have done that if you had tried"
"With my life", I declared, changing the subject back and trying to stare him down
"Which you were stupid enough to risk to save mine", observed John, "which I've not yet beaten you up for but recent thought process and realisation is you'd probably enjoy it"
So he had noticed my circled letters in the magazine.
I could feel my face turning purple.
"Thon must be a right hot curry", John stated.
"We've already agreed that", I fudged then looking him in the face I asked "are you angry at me for not wanting to let you die?"
"No", said John, "but cards on table............. after you left I cried with rage at you. Then cried more later with love and pride"
I smiled a tight smile. "Are we ok?"
"Do you TRUST me?", he asked again
I went to answer but he barged in with "that our conversations are between you and me? Period. I always thought I had your absolute and unqualified trust."
I nodded.
"Can I tell you something in confidence?", he asked.
I snorted and tutted. "YOU decide"
"Your dad aint my best friend...............YOU are"
I couldn't conceal my shock.
"Don't get me wrong, your dad is a good mate but you are the bees knees. Something else...........and don't be angry.............. but I tested you"
I frowned
"I confided some not true things to you - actually some were downright bare arsed fibs - and not once was any of it repeated to me by your dad".
I wasn't sure whether to beam or glare.
"I see", I said evenly
"I'd say 'sorry', but I'm not", said John, "other than if you are offended or upset"
"You did what you thought you needed to do", I said.
"So what was your favourite letters?", John segued, ".........actually, tell you what......... why don't you hold that thought and I'll phone your dad and tell him you are staying the weekend and then we can get some more beers and have a good natter"
"No", I said.
John's face crumpled
"Oh!", he said, "I was hoping............."
"Phone my dad but if we are having a no-holds-barred natter, I don't want it alcohol fuelled. I want whatever we say to be as a result of our bond and trust, not beer".
"Oh!", said John, "18 going on 40 right enough............DEAL. Why don't we make it a naked conversation. No hiding place. You being naked will help me tell if you are fibbing".
"I fail to see how............", I began, but John was already dialling. He had a phone with a speaker button, quite a thing back then. HUGE white thing with black buttons.
Dad answered after three rings. "Hullo".
"Hi to you too mate", John said, "how goes it?"
"Fine", said dad, "that you two fed and watered?"
"Aye", said John, "I was phoning to let you know I'm keeping him here the night. We've got some beer and porn and will be pulling our cocks to the Brazilian babes"
"We will NOT", I shouted.
Dad laughed. I realised he thought I was only hearing John's side of the conversation when he said "means me and his mum can shag"
My purple face was not curry related.
"You go get some beers out the fridge", John demanded
I stood up. He flapped his hand in a 'sit down' motion then put his fingers "shhhhh" to his lips.
"Listen", said dad, "whilst she is putting the washing on before tea............ been meaning to ask you............. when you take him shagging.........you do make him use condoms don't you?"
"Pardon me?", asked John. I raised "pardon ME?" eyebrows but at John. He shrugged.
"I'm not asking for gory details", said dad, "just promise me you make him rubber up. Please John, I don't want him thinking no condoms is a good thing. He's too young to be a dad"
"You were his age when you had him", John interrupted
"John !!!! Promise me! He's at Uni. First in the family. I don't want him ruining his life..............."
"So having him ruined your life?", John interrupted again
"Fuck no", said dad, "he's my boy".
I beamed
"Things were different back then, expectations were leave school, get an apprenticeship, get yourself a bird, get married and be a dad by 21. Hopefully the last two bits in that order. We both knew enough shotgun weddings in our time"
"You missed out hope the kid was yours".
They both laughed.
"That one couldn't be anyone else's but yours", said John.
"Aye", said dad, "my boy. What a joy. Few shit my pants moments with his health but............."
"You love him", said John
"Of course", said dad, "but don't tell him I said that. He will think I'm going soft. And don't forget you, his favourite non-uncle"
"I put up with him for your sake.........", said John,
They laughed again. I glared.
"..........but talking of expectations, you are assuming he is of the marrying kind", said John
"His mother and I have had that conversation............", said dad
(WHAT FUCKING CONVERSATION !!!! ?????????????)
".........again things are different now. You don't HAVE to get married. Two lads at my work his age are kipping up with their bird. His mother said she'd be affronted if he did that. Wouldn't be able to show her face in the village what with people looking at her. We are assuming what with the Uni being local, he won't move out until after he has graduated. She has made it quite clear I am not to support him having a lass stay over, much less her move in here..........."
"Not even if she was pregnant?", said John. Quite maliciously I thought, particularly given the 'conversation' dad was trying to have with John.
Dad thought so too: "Don't fucking say that!", he snorted, "......... his mother thinks he is still a virgin the silly moo. That horse has LONG bolted, hasn't it?"
"If you say so", said John, "but not what I meant and I think you know that. What if he was AC/DC or just DC..............?"
"Eh?", asked dad
"Oh for fuck sake", snorted John, "do I have to spell it out for you? I was trying to use the terminology from those Mags you lent me, you know "Forum minded readers", AC/DC..... Alternating Current / Direct Current or plain DC / Direct Current.............. you know!!!!........... bi or gay. I meant what if he aint straight. Have you had THAT conversation?"
.
*** WHAT THE HELL WAS HE DOING??????????????????? ***
.
tbc
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) ".........and technically I am right, if Cat Stevens wrote it, it is irrelevant that what's-his gob.............."
"what's HER gob", I interupped / corrected
"..........recorded it first. The song is his, belongs to him"
"Probabably the record company", I corrected the corrections.
"Always got to have the last word, don't you?", John sighed.
"No I don't", I instincfively blurted.
John laughed.
Damn, THAT was an own goal My only defense is that I was nervous as hell and what was in my head tumbled out my mouth, no pre-thought or filter
John was still laughing.
"Shall we get on?", I queried, "NOT co-ercing you", I grinned.
"Yes, let's", agreed John, "before I wet myself laughing"
"Or I skit on your carpet", I advised, "and technically, given your cock is pointing at me, I'm the one who would get wet", I deliberately amended his assertion.
John pursed his lips, sighed and rolled his eyes. ALL simultaenously.
"Me first?", I asked moving things along, "since I am holding the knife".
"It's your call my friend", John said kissing my forehead. My cock twitched and hit his.
I held up my hand and with Johm holding my wrist on my 'knife-holding' hand guided the knife to my open hand.
I was expectig John to do it but realised I had to. I started to slice and felt John increase his hold on my wrist and gently pull with me
John loosensed his grip on my wrist and I held the knife in my open hand
"Sir.............", I said
He took the knife, closed his hand around the handle, smile / nodded towards his wrist which I then took hold of.
We repeated the proces in reverse, John starting the slit on him, us both continuing it. John threw the knife away. I heard rather than saw it clatter on to the table.
"Are you ready my friend?", asked John
"Yes sir", I said, looking in to his eyes, "I've been ready from the moment you invited me to join you"
We pressed hands and our blood, such that it was, mingled and merged and our fingers pressed against one another.
As for that matter so did our chests and cocks. I thought I was going to pass out from excitement. It was as well I was pressed against John or else I might have tipped over. I was worried about shooting spontaneously in to his pubes.
I made an effort to steady my breathing although my neck, of all things, had a brass band pumping in it.
Both sides.
"Pinkie to pinkie, thumb to thumb.......... Suck my cock and I'm sure to cumm", John intoned
My cock twitched. I snort-sniggered
"That is NOT the rhyme", I tutted
"Is too", 'confirmed' John, "It's what me and the lads said at college in the canteen".
"Me and the lads.................oh how I HATE that expression", I frowned, "not to mention the shite grammar. And I might be inclined to almost believe you but to do so would mean accepting there was such a thing back then".
"Such a wot existed?", asked John. He had said "wot" to bait me but I wasn't rising. Well, other than my pubic friend what with me and John practically entwined.
"Colleges", I deadpanned
"You, young man are a cheeky wee toad. I don't know why I pretend to like you...............So, come on then smart-arse, wot's the rhyme then if it inna that?"
"Pinkie to pinkie, thumb to thumb.......... blood brothers together, never quarrelsome", I suggested
"Is that a word?", John accused
"Well THAT lasted all of five seconds...........", I tutted, "............You will probably prefer.............. Pinkie to pinkie, thumb to thumb.......... the girls think my Blood brother is very hunksome"
"Now that is NOT a word! Although I'll take it", John scoffed.
"I thought you'd prefer it to 'handsome'..........."
John rolled his eyes
"....my blood brother's gait is very cumbersome", I continued.
"You can't just keep adding 'some' to words to get a rhyme
"... my blood brother' s grammar has lots of colloquialism"
"No, it does NOT............. So we are on to 'ism' now????????????", John was stupid enough to ask
"Pinkie to pinkie, thumb to thumb..........my blood brothers sex life mirrors Darwinism"
John gasped. "I'm trying to decide if I should be offended!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Pinkie to pinkie, thumb to thumb..........this private ceremony is not a conversion to Hinduism"
John laughed. "Will you fucking STOP? and that one doesn't scan"
"You could have added one saying I was getting wearisome", I offered
"If I had THOUGHT of it.............", John said.
I looked in to his eyes softly and suggested
"Pinkie to pinkie, thumb to thumb.......... Blood brothers together, will always overcome"
John raised eyebrows
"You kept the best to last. I LIKE that one"
"Me too", I agreed, "I should have just said it first"
"... although I did like the wee mention of private ceremony", John added
I nodded
"You know", said John, "that little demo just reminds me - if any were needed - of one of the things I love about you...........the speed of your brain. And how lucky I am that you take this neanderthal on and sprinkle me with some of your fairy dust"
"Who the hell are you calling a Fairy?", I tutted. John looked alarmed. ".........and more importantly, you aint a neantherhal. You are a very loving man who has been excessively generous with his time for me - and others - for as long as I can remember. And an under-rated intelligence and humanity that is off the scale. I've told you before, I am who I am because of you and your generosity and infinite patience for me"
John blushed
"You are a soppy wee git", he giggled, "And you overstate my patience............... So.......... having the great joy and privilege of you agreeing to be my blood brother, I herby pledge my love and loyalty....... to never question your love and loyalty for me, to give you my total honesty in our dealings and to keep our confidences to my grave and beyond............I will also do my utmost not to sulk if you eat my last Penguin"
"Fuck SAKE!", I fake tutted, "you didn't tell me it involved all THAT! I thought it meant I automatically inherited everything AND I got to eat you out of house and home without complaint from you".
John looked at me. "You only have to say what you would be comfortable upholding. It is not a competition"
Bummer. My sense of humour was backfiring a little.
I looked in to his eyes.
"That which I am about to pledge, I have already done my best to do to date but am honoured to enunciate and formalise.............everything I pledge here today is freely offered, without coercion or obligation..............." I began, voice cracking already.
"You are my best friend", I continued, "..............my mentor.....my confidant..........the man I love...........the guy I look up to and trust with my life and for whom I would give my life without forethought or question............The man who has helped shape me and given me standards to aspire towards from your example. . If I'd been female, I'd have offered you my virginity to take, nay begged you to be my first and would have provided sex on demand, no questions.................And now you honour me by asking me to join you in blood. I am not worthy but gladly accept the offer............. I in turn pledge MY love and loyalty, my absolute trust in you, to keep your confidence even if you put me in legal jeopardy by doing so............. if it comes to it to visit you in prison without complaint..........." (John understandably scowled at that one ) "..............and to stand by you through thick and thin.............."
John looked at his watch theatrically. I was droning on.
"..........NEVER to shag your bird behind your back............." (THAT one would be easy to keep and the 'behind your back' was further superfleous )
"......and also in turn pledge my honesty with and towards you. No fibs other than those part of a wind-up or practical joke or if I have to fib because I'm really going shopping to get you a present or organising a secret party or.............."
John pursed his lips. "I get the drift! "
I pressed our hands further together
"My brother in blood and in spirit" I intoned gently. At this point, my eyes leaked fucking heaps. Dam them.
John pressed cheeks with me
"My blood brother", he said, "what a fucking honour and privilege"
We stood for a minute in silence, hands, chest and cocks pressed
John broke it
"Brother of mine..............", he said..............."are you gay?"
My breathing stopped but my heart thumped louder. He couldn't help but feel it bumping against him.
Even if we hadn't been blood brothers, I would have answered him honestly. He was John.
"Yes sir", I dribbled tears down the back of his shoulders, "I am"
"Thank you", said John, "for trusting me with that info"
"I would have answered honestly too if you'd asked me before...........", I interrupted
"I know", John interrupted my interruption, "God I am SO lucky............. and thank you for not apologising for who you are"
"Are you disappointed?", I sniffed
"Nope", said John, "other than embarrassed that you would think such a thing. My disappointment is in me, that..............."
"No............NO", I said
"Oh shoosh", ", John admonished, "or else we'll be here all night in ever decreasing circles, apologising for apologising............ and I have plans for tonight, for which our no-clothes was important"
My cock hit off him
"Dirty boy", sniggered John, "Shall we move on to part two and why I need you naked...............??????????? For that I'll need.......................oh FUCKING HELL"
He was pulling my hand away, Or trying to, As he stepped back, I moved with him
"Shit", he said, "we prattled on that much..........." (by that he meant ME!), "the blood on our hands has congealed and so has our chest sweat got all matted. We are stuck"
He pulled again and again I matched him, stuck fast.
"Well, THAT has torn it.........", John said, "Wot are we gonna do NOW?"
I let out a wee whimper, and to my embarrassment, that fart. Actually, three farts - thankfully none liquid - such was my horror.
Actually, terror. Not for me. We were going to be found out. John would go to jail !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Quack quack, went my arse
tbc
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"Well, THERE is an offer", said John, "but not the now kiddo, I have other plans for tonight"
"Oh", I said, hoping my disappointment wasn't palpable..............
".........but not never?"
John kissed my left shoulder
"How many cocks have you had?"
I raised my eyes, even behind the scarf
"Dunno", I said
"Hmmmm", said John, "how many wanks have you had thinking about me?"
"Not the way you think", I answered, "I never imagined I'd be allowed to so I've never really made a point of wanking thinking about THAT but......................"
"But................."
"I've had a couple of wanks here with your used jockstraps over my nose, smelling your manly scent as I had a five-finger-shandy".
This time I blushed PURPLE
"Sorry", I mumbled
"I hope the apology is for blushing", offered John
"No sir", I said, "I had no right. I'm apologising for................"
"............and you will stop that sentence right there", John barged in
"It was disrespectful", I attempted
"No harm done", said John, "and you washed the spunk off the wall"
Just when I thought I couldn't go any more purple.
"How long have you known?", I asked
"How to put this?.................ehm..............well since we are in confession mode..................I watched you at it........"
I gasped
"..............and since you don't wear jocks - and notwithstanding wanking sniffing your own jock would be GROSS - it was a fair assumption it was mine. Didn't bother to check the wash bin to confirm"
"Sorry", I said again
"Now I'm offended", said John, "where before I was flattered............and if you say 'sorry' again!..............."
I half tittered
"John...................."
"uh huh?"
"Love you mate"
"Love you too kiddo"
I smiled
"Can I ask a favour?", I asked
"I've already said no the now", smiled John
"No, not THAT", I laughed, "a favour as your blood brother?"
"Is it a favour or a request you - as my blood brother - have every right for me to agree to".
"Ehm..................dunno.................but it's a bit personal, sort of, and a request / favour I'm asking you as my blood brother to do with me. Or stop doing"
"Sounds awfy contradictory", John said, "now I'm intrigued...............ok blood brother................go for it...............what is your request"
I laughed
"Pilot of the airways, here is my request........................."
(Charlie Dore, 1979 in case anyone wondering)
John tutted. "That FUCKING brain of yours!". But it was a smiling "tut".
"My request, sir......................... would you please from this moment on.................never again.................."
"TODAY would be nice!", John interjected
My turn to sigh
"..............would you please stop asking me if I trust you. It's a given. An absolute. Our blood-brothers ceremony ratifies it"
"Oh", said John, "not what I was expecting"
"Were you expecting sex?", I asked. Probably a bit too hopefully.
"Not at the moment. And yes, I'll do my best but I may blurt it out or fuck it up"
"12th of Never then", I said, referring to John fucking up then realised too late he might think I was thinking about the sex.
"Excellent", said John, "we will come to MY favour later".
I was about to ask what it was when he said "can I read you this letter then?"
"Uh huh", I said, "Sorry............... please........................"
.
"Dear Editor................", John began. "....................Can I ask - for which my reasons will be obvious - that you don't print my location............ My name is John. I'm straight and my best friend is gay"
"Oh this sounds interesting", I thought, "but I don't remember THIS one. How did I miss it?"
Such 'why' was about to come clear.
"I've known this fine young man since he popped out the Pod. His dad was my best friend. When I say 'was', I don't mean his dad is pushing up daisies, I mean dad has been superseded in the 'best friends' league by son. This lad is a Uni student - the first in his family to go - and what a brain he has on him. I struggle to keep up. He says I am his mentor and confidant but the truth is he is MY confidant. He knows things about me no-one else does and I will go to my grave in the assurance he has never once broken my confidence, not even accidentally. He keeps me young and I learn from him every day. His sense of humour is shocking.............'black' doesn't even come close and his sense of the ridiculous is infectious......... But do you know what makes me so GRATEFUL to "the Gods" for having him in my sphere? What makes me want to scream it from the rooftops or for that matter holler it from a hill for the world to hear? Not his humanity, not his spirituality, not the fact that I can sit on his chest ANY time I want with my cock down his throat playing target practice with his tonsils..............."
.
(at that point, it won't surprise you I near creamed myself and expelled an excited sigh)
.
".............and not EVEN that he loves and respects me enough to give me his last ROLO ................ No, dear readers of this esteemed organ.............. what keeps me awake at night wondering how I got so fucking lucky............ "
.
I held my breath. What the HELL could it be?
.
"................it is the unquestioning and absolute TRUST he places in me. No questions asked..................for instance, I very recently asked him if he was gay and immediately he confirmed as such to me. Oh what trust."
.
WELL !!!! I wasn't expecting THAT !!! To my shock, my face was wet as I silently blubbed
.
"Of course", continued John, "you can't have everything. I have to make allowances for him being a soppy wee git and if I am honest, I'm not sure I've forgiven him for risking his life to save mine"
Blub, blub. blub
"Oh for God sake", said John
I blushed thinking he was annoyed at me blubbing
"These damn pages are stuck together. Look a bit stained too................ is that dried spunk?"
"NO !", I denied it furiously. "It will be tea. I spilled some"
"TEA? " asked John incredulously, "looks a bit yellow to be tea"
"IT IS TEA !", I said forcefully
"Hmm", said John, blowing on the pages to loosen them.
"So in closing...............", he continued his 'reading', "............ before this letter turns in to a novel or a sop-fest.................when the lad comes to this letter...............I'm telling the world how much he means to me. I'm not ashamed to say I love him. Not IN-love with, I'm straight after all, but no woman - or any other colleague or friend etc, bloody, etc - has ever ever made me feel more loved and respected................."
By now my face was a blub-river
"...........but more importantly I am telling HIM..................... you being gay is who you are. Don't ever apologise for it. You have my love, admiration and respect, and more importantly my gratitude for all you bring in to my life. I will take your love for me to my grave."
I hiccupped and wept
"That was my favourite letter", I said
"Mine too", John concurred.
"That John sounds like a right top bloke", I said
John flicked back a couple of pages
"Name John............is straight............... best friend - a student - is gay...................risked his life.............. love...............trust...............I liked that comment about the
ROLO........................ no there's nothing there stating they are having sex, much less John being the Top"
"Not what I meant", I said, "I meant he sounds like a great guy"
"Oh", said John.
"You don't think they might shag?", I asked optimistically, "after all, John lets the lad suck his cock. In fact it sounded like John would get it on demand"
"I see what you mean about the cock sucking......", agreed John, ......"and I'm not so sure about John "letting" the lad suck him as a favour, John is hardly likely to be gritting his teeth.......... it will suit them both......... I mean who in their right mind would turn down a gay mate you trust who is happy to suck your cock for you. and keep it between the two of you...............but if the lad is a student, it would be illegal, cock sucking is one thing, no real evidence, but shagging leaves a trail. Remember it is 21 in Scotland, the fact the lad is at Uni and obviously over 18 is irrelevant in the eyes of the law"
"I see what you mean", I said, "but do you not think the lad would give himself completely to John. Would be privileged to. And anyway, it would be legal in England"
"How so?", asked John
"It's 18 in England"
"Don't think so..............", began John
"Is TOO", I interrupted, "I read it in one of their 'advice' letters"
"You mean the problem pages?", asked John, showing his age
"Uh huh", I nodded, ".....do you not think it would be really horny that guy John shagging the lad in a hotel in the Borders and them looking out the window saying 'just over that bridge, this would be illegal' "
"Irrelevant if they got arrested and checked over in Scotland", John advised
"Oh", I said, really disappointed then added "but at least that bloke John can get his cock sucked regularly. Doesn't have to ask a woman to do it"
"I've only ever had one woman suck my cock", said my John, "the other one doesn't count as she only had it in her mouth a minute"
"Did she swallow?", I blurted
"Christ, no", said John, "never had that. Not even cumm in someone's mouth, has always been up her fud or in her tits"
(Remember, dear reader, these were different times, such awful dialogue)
"You had sex without a condom?", I gasped
"No need", said John, "she was late 50s. Her breeding days were over"
"Where's the riskiest place you have had sex?", I asked
"Here", said John, "when I woke up thinking 'who are you and are you on the pill 'cause I can't see a condom packet and my cock is cheesy' "
I tutted
"An Inspector at the work over her desk during lunch hour", said John, answering the question properly, "and I'm not asking YOU as I dread to think. THAT is a conversation for another day, not right now"
I sort-of-blushed
"John................"
"Yup???????????"
"Can I ask a favour.................."
"ANOTHER one?", John teased
I was crestfallen
"Wot is it kiddo. I was kidding"
"It's ok", I parried, "you are right. You have done all this for me................."
"AND me. I'm enjoying it too mate, I aint gritting my teeth. Wot's the favour"
"Will you read that letter again?", I pleaded
"AGAIN?", spluttered John
I nodded
"Please, sir. I know it is a big ask".
And bless him, he did 'read' it again. Was almost word perfect from the first reading. This time he added that John enjoying knowing the student lad - what with being gay - would never shag John's bird behind his back.
We had another "are you SURE that is not spunk. The pages are right sticky for it to be tea. It's nothing to be embarrassed about". altercation. I was quite vehement. I can't explain even now why it was so important that it wasn't spunk of the pages sticking them together.
Except of course, when I checked the magazine later, there were no sticky pages at all.
It won't surprise any of you I wept again at the second 'reading'.
God I wanted him. BADLY
As John got to the end of the second telling he added "Oh hold on a cotton-picking moment ! How the frig did I miss THAT?"
"Miss WHAT ???", I was beside myself
"There's an editor's note"
"Wot's that?"
"When the editor comments on a letter"
"OHHHHHHHH ! Wot's it say?"
"Patience kiddo. I missed it because it's at the very bottom of a page and I've got another set of spunk pages to un-stick to get to the rest"
I bounced with impatience.
"Right................ here we go.................... Editor's Note : What a LOVELY letter................."
(I nodded vigorously in agreement)
"..............and what a fantastic bond you have. He sounds like a remarkable young man. We presume him being a soppy wee git (your words) adds to his charm and is part of that humanity and spirituality you loudly lauded. You are very obviously incredibly fond of him and he of you. And 'chops' to you too, your pride in him. You sound like a great guy, there's not many a straight man would stand up for a gay friend. Must be great to know your best friend aint the slightest interested in your lass / date or whatever. We hope you are enjoying getting your cock sucked by him. You lucky sod! From the letters we get in, it seems to be an established fact that men do better blow jobs. There's a guy in our office (married, three kids) who has a gay friend - both are pushing 30 - and our colleague gets his cock sucked regularly when the wife is on the rag. His wife's friend's cousin as it happens and she knows........."
"Fuck sake", I gasped. I decided it was the wife who knew rather than the friend.
"...................... they also have this thing going where our married colleague tosses the gay guy off. Says it is quite fun pulling a different cock. We will take his word for it. The scenarios are either the straight bloke stands behind the gay lad and wanks him or the lad is chest on table, feet on floor spread wide, and our colleague sits behind him giving him a handy-Andy. Orgasm is mandatory. Sometimes more than one. You might care to try it with your lad given he sucks your cock for you. Quid pro quo and all that. Our married colleague is always clothed, the other guy naked. Your mileage may differ, as they say. We here at Forum magazine wish you both all the best. Thank you for writing in. We hope on reading your letter he recognises himself and blushes copiously at you extolling how much he means to you, sex on demand aside. Take care, and good luck"
There was a prolonged silence as I tried to control my heart rate.
Failed
"WELL !", said John, "an Editor's note. THAT was a turnip-for-the-books!"
"That letter deserved an 'Editor's note' ", I gulped, "It was lovely. That Uni lad is a lucky git. But he knows it"
"I think", added my John, "that the John bloke is the one benefiting the most..........close friend, confidant AND getting his cock sucked. If you ask me - between thee and me of course - that guy John sounds like something the Uni lad found in a 'Lucky Bag'"
I tutted in major disagreement.
"I think that's enough letters for tonight", said John, "what do you think?"
I nodded
"I'm in your capable hands", I said
"Not to mention between my legs and armpits", John sniggered
I joined in.
"John................."
"What kiddo?"
"Thank you. For this and for being you and all you do for and with me"
"Aw shucks", said John, "Red alert! Soppy git warning"
"Anyway", I said, "what favour do you require from me, let's get to it"
"You don't know what it is"
"You are my friend. I trust you. Tell me what you need of me"
"Hmmm", said John, "must be something in the name"
"Eh?", I asked
"The name John. The John in that letter was trusted absolutely by HIS University lad.........."
".....and cocksucker", I added, to remind him
"....and here I am trusted as much by you"
I nodded
John broke off from me a moment. I could sense him reach for something.
THEN I heard Sellotape ripping. I frowned in confusion.
"Hmmm", said John, "he was right, they ARE sharp. The Sellotape was a good idea".
More Sellotape ripping and a sense it was being applied to something. This Sellotape ripping / applying happened about half a dozen times.
"MUCH better", announced John, "No chance of cuts or Sellotape attaching"
"Attaching to WHAT..............", I began then jumped as summat furry was against my face.
"What the fuck is THAT?", I asked
"Language !", John chided, "and it's my favour. Or rather yours".
John chortled at what was obviously a joke I was missing.
Then something was hanging off the end of my throbbing cock.
"John, what IS that?", I asked
"The favour I'm asking of you", said John
"Which IS?", I asked in slight exasperation
John put an armpit right up against my nose and pressed his body - and firm cock - against me.
He kissed the back of my neck then nibbled my ear
My cocked BOUNCED and there was a slight rustling from whatever John had hung on the top of said cock
"Mate................ will you GONK for me? Can I watch you banging one out?"
.
tbc....
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"Blindfold?", I was asked
"I'd prefer sir to decide, this time", I said, "except to request that if he does, he puts it on exceptionally tight so I am completely in the dark".
"I'll take that as a 'yes' ", said John and did as I asked. Except he then took a SECOND scarf and put that on even tighter over the first. I was in complete darkness, no chance of peeking.
When he was done, his cock was over my shoulder and his pubes in my nose. Or rather, my nose was in his pubes. I was in heaven and my cock got harder.
I licked his balls and got spanked, HARD
"No", said John, "not this time"
"Yes sir", I said, wondering if I did it again if he would spank me harder. But my view was he had issued an instruction and failure on my part to comply might lead to termination of activities. Or at the very least a withdrawal of his pubes which was unthinkable.
There was a moment's silence
"What you waiting for?", John demanded
"Sir's express permission to begin", I demurred.
"Start riding then", John ordered
I started slowly, sliding in and out of the gonk. Held John's hairy legs and my nose was in his pubes. He didn't stop me doing either.
I stepped up my pace and moaned with desire of John. His cock stiffened on my shoulder.
"Oh son", he sighed, "this is so fucking HORNY".
I didn't reply, just kept riding.
I jumped a little as I heard a squirting noise and something landed on my shoulder. I recognised the smell of baby lotion and moaned as John rubbed it in to my shoulders then down my spine.
I was loving this and didn't want it to stop but my cock had other ideas as I found myself riding harder in to the gonk. The couch cushions squeaked as I rode and I was dizzy from John's man smells. Harder and harder I rode as I held on to John's legs and sniffed his pubes making sure my in-breath were long and deep. My exhale were sharp and in time with my thrusting, accompanied by grunts, but inevitably my ramming got out of sync with my in-out breathing.
I felt the familiar tightening of my balls. I was caught between not wanting this to end and wanting to blow. My riding got more violent and my balls were whacking off the gonk as I grunted every thrust. I was aware of John's cock hard on my shoulder, or rather the bottom bit was but in that moment all I wanted was to please him by blowing a load. I could feel it building. It wouldn't be long.............
"Please sir", I grunted, "please may I shoot"
John had a sharp intake of breath and his already hard cock got harder. I fancied I could feel the blood pumping in to it.
"Stop a moment", John instructed
"WHAT????????????????????????????????"
I was maximum five thrusts from shooting,. What the fuck?
I whined in distress
"shh shh shh", John soothed, "just a wee amendment I should have mentioned earlier"
What fucking amendment?
I whined
"Oh please sir, let me cumm"
"shh shh", he said again, his cock getting even harder. I was at screaming point
"Open your legs a bit wider, it will deepen your orgasm", John instructed, "but not too wide you can't ride. But if you can, after your fourth squirt, as wide as you can"
I opened my legs a bit more but didn't start gonk shagging aqain
"On you go son, bang it out", I was told
I didn't need told twice and started to whack it out.
After about 30 seconds I felt the orgasm rising and I opened my legs a wee bit more. "Near orgasm" subsided. It rose again, I opened legs a tiny bit wider and again it subsided. Five times I did this, effectively edging myself but each time I was whacking harder. By now I was banging out the most violent ride I had ever and my grunts of desperation to cumm increased, ironic given it was me denying myself. As my balls tightened in that lovely pre-orgasm pleasure I was so positioned I was fucking empty air ie cock and balls were about two inches off the cushions as I rammed in to the gonk. "How's that for your cherry popping", I thought to the gonk. Quite ridiculous under the circumstances, looking back. My orgasm started in my ankles. The noise I must have been making didn't occur to me. I was growling and panting like a lion in heat.
I gripped John's legs and buried my face in his pubes as I whacked and pleaded "Please sir, please may I SHOOOOOOT".
He didn't reply.
"PLEASE SIR, PLEAAAAAAAAAAAAASE"
It was on its way regardless. Thankfully John cottoned on.
"Yes lad, SHOOT.", he said
"Please sir", I whined
"SHOOT!", he shouted loudly............."PUMP IT OUT. SHOOOT"
And I did. I was convulsing like a pneumatic drill as I fired At the same time, I grabbed his hands and holding them against his legs I squeezed tight with every spurt
"Oh thank you, sir, I'm shooting my FUCKING load, oh thank you sir". I bellowed in to his pubes
At this point I remembered my instruction of legs as wide as possible during orgasm. I went as wide as I could without cramp or losing my stride. As John promised, the change in depth of orgasm was marked. I roared. As I began my second round of declaration, I got as far as "....my FUCKIN load" when I felt a water pistol firing down my back.
I was too busy pumping out my load and trying not to burst to wonder what John was doing but on my third declaration of shooting my load I realised I wasn't the only one shooting and THAT made me convulse and shoot harder. In a moment's madness I really thought my cock was going to burst open from the force of my orgasm, just like I'd seen a snake do on a David Attenborough from having eaten too much.
"Oh, Master", I chirruped loudly, pumping and grunting out more as I gripped his hands very tight.
I can vouch for John's grunts being silent other than sharp exhales out his nose as his legs shook and the water pistol splattered my back copiously
.
.
tbc
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, he was SO gullible)
I nodded. I didn't trust myself not to laugh.
John picked up the gonk and titled it for a look inside
"Christ, THAT was some load you...............AAAARGH".
Some of said load had dribbled out on to the bridge of his nose and face cheek. I laughed, of course.
"BARF !", John declared.
"No offence taken", I said
"Oh come on!", began John
"Your face", I finished the sentence he wasn't going to say, different spelling notwithstanding.
"Bugger off", was the reply. He wiped his face and then pulled more tissues and stuffed them in to the gonk.
"Lie back down", John instructed.
I did and he kneeled down in front of me. He gently washed my back as I licked his pubes and kissed his inner thighs. He didn't scold me. He had washed and they were delicious.
"Roll", he said.
Presuming that meant "turn over", I did. He washed my cock and balls. I licked his balls. Again, didn't get a telling off..
"Cuppie?", he asked
"Why not", I said, masking my disappointment. So that was it then. I had had visions of getting fucked next. No idea why.
John went to the kitchen to brew, I went to the loo. When I returned I retrieved my clothes and had just got my underwear on when John came through with the brews.
"Wot you doing?.............", he asked, "...........when did YOU get all shy? You fire your 'lack of reserve' out with your load?"
He nodded at my underwear
"OFF", he demanded
"I thought..............." I attempted
"You thought wrong", interrupted John
"You gonking next?", I asked impishly
He gave me pursed lips and eyebrow raise
"I'd threaten to spank you for that but you'd enjoy it".
I flushed slightly.
John kissed me "What biccies do you want? I can't believe I'm hungry"
"I am too but not for biccies", I said, "but in the interim, you got any cock flavoured ones?"
"Nope. But when I make scones tomorrow, I'll snip some of my pubes in to them, just for you............... NO, I am NOT wanking in to the mix first"
"I wasn't even going to suggest that, you minger", I lied.
"So..................KIT KAT do?"
"I suppose", said, "you got the 4 finger ones?"
"Nope, only the two finger but you can double up and pretend it was a four finger"
"Can't", I explained, "two finger is a biscuit, four finger is confectionery. The recipe is different"
"I am SO glad I didn't ask............", said John, ".....you are a mine of useless information but that explains why the four fingers are beside the sweeties"
"SWEETIES?", I scoffed, "how old are YOU?"
"Never too old for a decent sweetie", John said, "and I don't mean the kind with a pussy to dip my tongue in to to get ready for a dicking"
"You can dick me if you want", I hinted. OK, it was a bit more blatant than a 'hint'.
John didn't reply and went biccie hunting.
"Catch", he shouted and I caught a four-finger Kit Kat
"Found one", he said un-necessarily.
I snapped it in two.
"We can share", I said, realising too late - as John tutted / stared - that I had snapped it in half vertically so I ended up with two bits of four half fingers rather than the traditional 'snap' of two full-length fingers each.
"Your dad is right. No fucking brains. Don't let you near matches"
"Does that mean you don't want it?" I asked
He answered me by grabbing his share out my hand
"I'd better have the bigger bit", he said
"We can compare morning wood some other time if it is THAT important to you...............", I began, intending to make reference to his lady friends not seeing mine to compare but a slap across the back of the head stopped me mid-sentence. I was going to wait ten seconds and then say "Oh sorry............OUCH!" but I had already done that earlier during the discussion about which Chinese to go to.
We slurped and chomped. John looked at me and tilted his head
"Thanks son" and he held his mug out
I interpreted correctly and clinked mugs with him
"You are welcome", I said, "I couldn't in all conscience eat the 4 finger all by myself without offering you a bit but I'm not sure I'd give you my last Rolo"
(For the benefit of our younger readers, Rowntrees - before they were bought by Nestle - had an advert / slogan "Do you love anyone enough to give them your last Rolo" As it happens, KitKat was Rowntree too. I have just spent an inordinate amount of time on 'the tube' reminiscing on the "last Rolo" adverts, although be aware if you do likewise you may have to un-mute individual ones)
"Yes you could", disagreed John, "and yes, you would"
He came up against me and kissed my forehead
"I am one lucky c*nt"
I blushed and tutted
"Beamer alert", tittered John, then added "Love you kiddo".
"I love you too, old man", I said back.
"Oi", John tutted
He took my mug off me
"I'll get rid of these, you lie back down", he said
"Why?", I asked
"Because I said so", was the reply
My heart thumped. I was getting SHAGGED I was going to suggest the bedroom but that seemed too forward.
I lay face down on the cushions / towels and spread my legs in preparation.
John returned and again knelt at my head
He squirted the baby lotion down my back and started to massage me again,
My disappointment at not being dicked quickly subsided. I sighed in satisfaction
"You OK mate?"
"Mmmmm", I confirmed, "............you?"
"Never better", John said, "a quiet night in with my best mate. What more could a guy want?"
"A good fuck", I suggested
John laughed
"Honestly? Right now, no. I wouldn't swap this time with you for a wet pussy to dip"
I was going to say "I meant ME you tit" but he was kissing my shoulders.
"I love you, son", he declared yet again.
"I love you too John", I said back and kissed his pubes. I licked his balls and then started licking his cock.
"No", said John gently, "don't".
I could feel myself blushing
"This is your time, son, stop worrying about pleasuring me"
"But............"
"Shoosh", he admonished
"Can I massage YOU later?", I asked
"That would be nice", John said, "if you can be arsed".
"I'll do it now, if you want", I replied
"I'm busy", said John, "..................LATER ! " and he kissed my shoulders again.
I decided to do as I was told and just enjoy his attentions. As he 'administered' and reached over, I enjoyed his man smells and getting his pubes and thighs in my face.
"On yer back", he said. I did without comment and got my front done. Again, I sighed from his administrations plus his thighs and pubes. Goes without saying - but I will anyway - that I was rock hard. Difference this time though - on my back - it didn't have my weight pressing down holding it in place. On my back, cock danced and swished as John did his stuff. I sighed in to his pubes.
I 'bucked' as John gently took my cock in his hand and massaged baby lotion in to it. I hadn't expected that. Nor had I expected the firm wank he was now giving me. I grunted in pleasure and spread my legs wider. He brought me to the edge half a dozen times and massaged me in between. I was grunting / whining / wriggling. Wondered if I was going to have to beg. Wank number whatever was building again and I was bucking slightly more than a little. John reached over and put his tongue in my mouth for a kiss. I returned it with passion and took his head in my hands and massaged his ears of all things as we kissed and he wanked me. He didn't speed up the wanking, just kept his firm grip on me as he pulled my cock and our mouths / tongues entwined. Inevitably, I "blew" and grunted hard breaths in to John's mouth as I erupted and fired.
.
tbc
Next time it is John's turn
.
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