“Wow she wasn’t taking any prisoners then ?” Dan interrupted again.
“Definitely not – at that point she let Percy out of prison !”
Dan nearly spat out his mouthful of Guinness as Matt smiled at how he remembered the whole scenario developing into a farce.
“She did what ?” Dan said incredulously.
“She bent over and botty burped !”
Dan laughed out loud and was speechless conjuring the scene in his mind. When he was able to speak he said “That must have caused a bit of a recoil on your part ?”
“Recoil ? Fuck me she nearly blew me out of the door, she didn’t even apologise but just said ‘oops’”
Dan was beside himself with laughter but told Matt to carry on.
“Anyway I dropped the trousers and pants, rolled on the rubber, she steered it in and off we went…..for about five minutes, thankfully she didn’t fart again !”
“Christ – that long ?” Dan said with genuine surprise at Matt’s first time.
“Yes, although she wasn’t very impressed when I’d done, she just said ‘you useless fucker’, pulled up her pants and left” Matt looked a little embarrassed but could see the funny side.
Dan nearly spilt his Guinness he was laughing so much.
“What about you ?” Matt asked.
Dan immediately became quite thoughtful and after an elongated pause said “Do you remember Mrs Malin at school, used to teach Maths ? Curvy woman short dark curly hair always immaculately dressed,” he said.
Matt thought for few seconds “Yeah, Mrs Mmmm - Monica Malin she was quite short but had nice legs. Posh speaking and always seemed quite aloof……must have been in her late thirties….”
“Thirty-nine” Dan said.
“Blimey that’s specific !” Matt was quizzical but Dan didn’t elaborate so he continued “there were rumours she was having it off with the flashy PE teacher, what was his name, the Welsh guy who coached the First 15 rugby team, you’d know him cos you were playing rugby at that time. You were in that side weren’t you even though you were two years younger than most of them ?” Matt asked.
“Yes, Harris, Rod Harris, yeah, nice guy but hard as nails. It was rumoured that he was in the under 20s Welsh Team as a number eight – like my position, but he got badly injured and had to give it up so turned to teaching. The rumours came about because the lovely Mrs Malin often came to matches against other schools as part of the kitchen staff doing the coffees and bacon butties etcetera and she would hang about afterwards so that Rod the Prod could give her a lift home…..allegedly.”
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What does he decide?? 
