FabSwingers.com forum: My journey to becoming a submissive

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I work in London in the macho alpha world of corporate business and IT, and am responsible for a large team across multiple locations. I love the control at work, yet outside of work I just constantly yearn and need to give myself totally to a dominant; put my trust in them to do whatever they believe I deserve; who becomes responsible for my physical and mental and sexual being.

The cross dressing side of me has been a journey of discovery. I had always secretly dressed in my mothers and sisters lingerie from quite a young age, and loved the sensual feel of the silk or lace. The naughty feel of doing something “immoral” (coming from a religious family) combined with the risk of being caught made the illicit dressing and solo play sooooo exciting as a teen experimenting and learning who I was and what I liked.

As I grew up I had numerous girlfriends and obviously enjoyed sex massively! I always considered myself as a normal pretty vanilla hetero guy, and the desire for sexy lingerie just dropped off. I had a few girlfriends and that ‘experimental’ side of me just stopped.

Then, when I was about 20 old, I met an amazing lady who was way older and experienced than me. She opened doors that I never knew existed, and showed me things I’d never even considered. She challenged and pushed, yet nurtured and supported me - and it became the start of my journey into wanting to totally submit and serve; to seek pain and humiliation; and to literally give myself to someone to fulfil their literally every desire

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Sex was always different from the very start, with her being very vocal and commanding in what to do and how she liked it. She would always command me to fulfil oral sex on her, and would forcefully tell me what to do. This was new to me but her older age meant I just took it that she knew what she liked! One day when I was between her legs, I was doing exactly as I had instructed - yet I could tell in her voice it was frustration and anger rather than sexual ecstasy. She held my head exactly where she wanted me and almost smothered me, not allowing me to move my head - the restriction jolted me, but she was yelling at me and ordering me what to do. Looking back now her tone was dismissive or mocking and she prolonged her orgasm - my panic and tenseness in being smothered and restricted eased, and I just did as I was told. This was also the first time she’d called me ‘my boy’.

At this time she would always pleasure me too, more and more making me cum harder and better than the time before! One day whilst giving me the usual amazingly sensuous blowjob she started licking and then massaging my anus! The sensations of being wanked off as she licked and rimmed me were electric, like nothing I’d ever felt before. The weirdness of having her caress me “there” was ignored and I was in orgasmic heaven…by now I’d learnt not to question her and ‘allow’ her to do whatever she desired. I had total trust in her. But then, without any warning, she slowly inserted a finger! I was shocked and tensed, and couldn’t believe what she’d done. I asked her to stop, but she firmly told me to relax and to trust her…which I implicitly did. She proceeded to finger and probe me, whilst sucking and wanking me. The pleasure was so intense I just knew I was going to cum, and I asked permission. I don’t know why but I simply asked “Can I cum please”. “Yes boy” came the reply and very soon I had the most amazing total body orgasm. I was shocked! And confused! I’d never touched myself anally or even contemplated it, but here I was shaking in orgasmic delight. Then, without any warning, I was shocked out of my blissful state as she smacked my cock hard! The pain was out of the blue, yet for some reason was both intense and exciting! “You enjoyed that boy” she said gently.

Over time the anal play became more regular until one day she told me she wanted to use her dildo and strap-on on me. By now I just trusted her sexual confidence and said I’d let her do literally anything she desired! Soooooo…she told me to have a bath and relax. When I came out of the bath she was dressed in a basque with hold up stockings and her high heel leather boots - my favourite! Yet…on the bed…were another set of stockings, with suspenders belt, lace knickers and matching bra. She told me she loved my talk of dressing as a teen, and wanted me dressed as her sissy boy! I didn’t need telling twice and was soon dressed in her sexy lingerie, with my hard erect cock straining to get out of her knickers. That evening we had the most amazing sex - more than sex, it was an evening where everyone inch of my body was stimulated. Feeling her penetrate me, with me helpless and passive - having to submit to her every need - did not just make my body tingle; it was mind blowing! The feeling of submission and giving myself to someone and putting my trust in them was something I’d never experienced but knew I needed more of it.

Overtime she pushed my sexual and physical and mental boundaries more and more! We had the most amazingly intense 6 months together - from the use of restraints and blind folds, pain play with candle wax, spankings and using a ruler on my knicker clad bottom if I’d been a naughty boy - she took me on the most amazing journey of self discovery. At the time there was no internet and I had no knowledge of BDSM or Dom/sub dynamics. But that is what I had become - her submissive. Sadly she got a job teaching in Canada and we split up. This void - not just sexual, but everything is become for her - was immense and I missed it all so much. I continued to dress in lingerie that she’d left behind, and would repeatedly use various sex toys on myself; loving the anal probing or buttplugs or fucking myself silly in the shower with a big dildo! Yet very quickly I met a new woman; but this time one who’s sexual experience (like mine previously) was vanilla and safe. Very soon the lingerie was hidden back in the closet and I had became a very vanilla man with conservative sexual needs!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Yet we fell in love (naaaawwwww) and were soon married with a house and dog and kids. The previous world of cross dressing and of anal play and of being Submissive were deliberately put to the back of my mind. I was married to the woman of my parents dreams! A fellow church member, who was a loving wife and mother. Sex initially was frequent and was good! Vanilla and ordinary - with no cross dressing, anal play or pain! But it was great!

One time we did discuss sexual experiences and what we liked, and I listened to her story (as in one previous experience) and her needs (of a cup of tea and a cuddle!) and knew that Stephanie was never coming out to play. And of course overtime we became like many married couples - firstly it was once or twice a week, and impromptu sex across the table or in the car or down an alley somewhere, to then a ritual Sunday night fumble, which then became monthly, to then birthdays and special occasions!

To be honest I didn’t mind, as work was chaotic and stressful and when I came home I often worked until I fell asleep, or just fell asleep on the sofa!!! My wife was sadly diagnosed with OCD and sex became non existent and we became platonic friends; deeply in love and supportive of everything but our sexual being. Not once did I contemplate ‘cheating’ or divorce. My wife once said to me she knew I had needs and could “turn a blind eye” but I said all I ever needed was her; that we’d said our solemn vows that were meaningful and true.

Then, suddenly, this vanilla barren time was to dramatically change. I was told to go away on business, and to spend a week or so away until a project my team were working on was back in control. Being away was not abnormal, and usually I’d just spend my evenings working late and then drinking with my team, and then relieving myself with a dirty film in the hotel. But for some reason, when out at night in town, I stumbled across an Anne Summers shop. I nervously went in and was quickly enticed to the sexy lingerie. Soon, without thinking, I’d bought a sexy basque with stockings and suspenders, lace knickers and a 7” dildo with suction cap. I nervously paid and ran back to my hotel room, not believing what I’d just done!!!

That evening I reawakened “sissy Stephanie” as my ex used to call me and I had the most amazing night of self pleasure! The thrill of putting on stockings for the first time in ages was electric and I was almost immediately leaking cum into my lovely black lace knickers! By now the magic of phones with internet was here, and I spent the evening searching about sissy’s and submission, watching first-time gay porn, of pleasing a man, how to suck cock, and losing my anal virginity. My mind was a whir! I had for the last 15 years or so been straight and hetero and vanilla - yet her I was so horny at the feel of silk and lace, furiously riding myself to oblivion, watching first time gay porn, desperately fantasising about cock and men and passively being fucked!!!

The fantasy and desire for the first few days away just grew and grew in my head to the point that I couldn’t focus on my work away. In the evenings my team would invite me down the pub or club or to some seedy place yet I’d make my excuses and would rush back to my room! One day I went to a short business meeting with stockings and suspenders and lace knickers under my expensive suit. I nervously sat there expecting them to see the outline of my lingerie or hear the twang of a suspender belt popping! I was nervous but excited! As soon as the meeting was over I refused the opportunity of another business lunch and rushed back to my hotel and stripped out of my suit and lay on the bed in just my lingerie. I knew I needed more, and I knew I was desperate to try a bi experience. I’d never even seen another real cock other than maybe a glimpse in the changing rooms, but had never even touched one - let alone wanked or sucked!

I instinctively joined a website for guys who were fab & hurriedly created a profile explaining how inexperienced I was but how I desperately needed to have some bi fun and to break some virginities. I took various photos in my lingerie and my profile was done. It screamed DESPERATELY SEEKING COCK! I’d done this out of pure lust and desire without even thinking really of what I wanted, or how far I’d go. I’d not considered anything, other than I needed some fun! Little did I know how quickly this was to occur.

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By *arriedfun51Man
over a year ago

Northern Ireland

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Without even thinking I was searching for men close to me, looking for someone who may tolerate or desire a hornily-desperate yet inexperienced-and-ready-to-please-virgin!! When out of the blue I got a message from a younger man who was less than 5 miles away! We chatted a short while by emailing back and forth about me and my experience, and then my desires everything I wanted to try, and then their needs and role and experience as a dominant top. I explained my journey as ‘Stephanie’ and as being submissive when I was 20, and of my family situation. They were supportive and inquisitive and didn’t rush me….& said they wanted to just meet for a chat, with no pressure! I said that I was nervous about going back to my room as my team may see us but they said that was fine, as they knew a place we could go if I do desired.

Yet they were authoritarian and in control. They told me to shower and shave my cock and balls and arse, and to wear my plug. They told me to be in my lingerie and that when I met them I was to address them as sir. Before I knew it I was nervously sitting in a local bar, my cock straining in my knickers under my suit! Within minutes I could see them walking towards me, smiling confidently - they were exactly as their photos was, 30 and slim with broad shoulders and gorgeous cheeky smile! They were like many in my team that I lead at work, yet here I was seeking their dominance. They came over to me and as I stood up, they shook my hand and said “Are you ready to lose some virginities Stephanie”. I didn’t know how to respond and stood their open mouthed unable to speak. “Answer me boy” they calmly spoke. The term ‘boy’ shocked me back into the room and I obediently replied that I was desperate for it all sir. We sat and spoke for a while, and he asked if I was really truly ready for this - that what was to occur would no doubt lead to me having doubts and guilt and panics of everything I’d done. But they told me to be brave and to trust in them. And I implicitly did! We finished our drinks and left the pub and walked down the road. I was out in the city, without anyone knowing where I was, wearing lingerie and a buttplug, walking to literally anywhere…with a guy I’d met on line less than 2 hours before. I was nervous and excited, but knew that I needed this more than anything in the world. There was no going back now

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By *ewtothis2219Couple
over a year ago

Telford

Wow

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

“Where are we going please sir” I nervously asked. Sir stopped, looked at me and simply said “I said I know somewhere nearby that is safe. Trust me and keep up”. I did as instructed and very soon we were at a small park or woods. I’d dreamt of the quiet safety of a hotel or house, and here I was in a public space where anyone could see me. Yet I trusted sir. Soon we were in a small copse that had perfect views to see if anyone was coming; be it, I’d soon see little more than whatever sir told me to!

I was nervous and excited and scared and desperately horny! I stood there like an idiot, head bowed waiting to be told what to do. “Strip” sir barked. I hesitated and was gently slapped around the face, “strip off and leave all your clothes on the floor”. I did as I was told and was soon in the cold air in just black stockings, suspenders and lace knickers and a red and black basque. Sir came to inspect me and turned me around, pulled my knickers to the side and confirmed I had my buttplug in place. “Good boy” he said and pushed me hard against small tree and pounced and pulled me to them & kissed me really hard and passionately all in one movement! I was kissing a man, well…he was kissing me! And it felt amazing.

I rubbed their already hardening cock through their trousers and fumbled to undo their button up flies. I’d fantasised about this moment for a long time and I couldn’t even get their cock out! Instead I undid their belt, unzipped their trousers, and had my hand down their boxer shorts - and quickly felt their cock flop out. It was a good 8.5", but sooooo very thick, and circumcised like mine. This was my first touch with a real cock; my first virginity!!

I spat in my hand and gently to start with began to slowly wank them and to caress the tip of their cock. Quickly I built up the pace and furiously wanked their cock, all the while looking into their eyes for some sense of how I was doing. All I got was a slow groan and then a smile. “Suck it boy”.

I wanted this moment so badly yet had a moments hesitation of concern of getting caught. Sir placed a hand on my shoulder and pushed me to the floor. “Suck. It. Boy”. I was quickly down on my knees and circled their cock around and around with my heavily saliva'd tongue. I wanted to prolong as much as possible before I started sucking, and therefore licked their cock up and down, whilst gently caressing their balls. I had no idea what I was doing, other than trying to do everything my previous girlfriend or mistresses did to me. I remembered that she once ordered me to stroke her inner thighs and to tease her, to build up slow and to not rush. So I tried this - I gently massaged and caressed their inner thighs with my hands, which seemed to be a sensitive & horny area for them! Thought I was doing well, licking and wanking and caressing their cock; but was soon jolted by a gentle slap to my face. “I said to suck it boy”

I did as I was told and slowly placed my mouth around their cock & slowly eased my mouth further and further down their cock. I was about 3 or 4” in and felt I could take no more, so slowly bopped my head up and down their cock. There was no finesse or changing in my head or mouth position, literally just bob up and down. I thought I was a blowjob queen, but sir very quickly showed me that I had a lot to learn and I felt his hand at the back of my head and tried to force more in. I felt his cock at the back of my throat and gagged loudly & tapped his bottom to ask him to stop, but he carried on and was soon aggressively fucking my face. I was ch@king and could feel tears stream from my eyes, yet sir relentlessly fucked my mouth. I was gagging and wanted it over yet he just continued for what seemed like 20 minutes but which was probably just 5! I was being treated like the slutty fucktoy I’d been desperate to be, and was losing another virginity! Yet I felt helpless. I’d stopped massaging their balls or stroking their thighs…I was just sucking to get them to cum as is possible. Very soon sir ordered me to put my hands behind my back and just fucked and fucked my mouth, all the while telling me what a boy I was…how I liked him fucking me…how pathetic I was and couldn’t satisfy my wife. I felt humiliated. Tears streamed from my eyes, and my throat and neck hurt - yet my cock was the hardest it had ever ever been! I had never been so horny!

Sir soon relented and told me to wank him and to open my mouth. I looked up into his eyes as he wanked himself into my mouth. I excitedly anticipated cum and was desperate for it, yet sir unexpectedly forced his cock into my throat and held it deep as he could. He held my nostrils and could sense the fear in my eyes as I ch*ked and struggled to get free. But sir just laughed and told me to look at him. He smiled and said “you’ve done well boy” and released me but left his cock tip in my mouth. I slowly started to suck him and wank him, and caressed his balls. His breathing got heavier and I could sense he was close to cumming. He gently fucked my mouth and I could feel his cock pulse and get bigger, he pushed his cock deeper and I felt an explosion of cum hit the back of my throat.

The sensation felt weird but the taste was not salty like I’d imagined. I swallowed a bit and shuddered, but my mouth was still full of even more cum. Sir told me to hold it in my mouth and not to swallow it yet. I gagged and almost spat it out, I did all I could to keep it. Soon sir relented and told me to swallow and I did as told! I don’t remember it as particularly pleasant and immediately felt like I needed to gag and be sick but luckily didn’t!!! I’d actually sucked cock and taste cum but the realism of being almost naked in public, having sucked cock hit me!

But sir sensed this and ordered me to stand up and pulled me close to him. He held me and and told me that his boy had done well, and kissed me hard on the lips. I felt his hand on my cock in my knickers - I was leaking so much precum and almost came immediately. Sir laughed and just continued to wank me, and in literally less than a minute I came and came in my knickers! My knees were shaking at such an intense orgasm. Sir took some on his hands and told me to lick him clean. The cold feel of cum in the knickers felt strange, but sir laughed and told me I was to not take them off all night…that I was to sleep in my cummy knickers. I quickly got dressed and we hurried out of the copse and past a couple of old men. I was horrified that they’d maybe seen me but kept walking with sir.

We got back near my hotel and sir said I’d been a good boy for sir. He came close to me and told me it was ok, that I was not too feel guilty or to panic. That this was the start of a horny journey into being what we both knew I was - a pathetic little sissy sub.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Great story

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I went into my hotel and hurried to my room and collapsed on the bed. I undressed out of my clothes and lay there on the bed in just my lingerie, my knickers wet from so much cum earlier. I was still sooooooo horny! Yet I also played out every aspect in my head - what if I’d been seen by work colleagues, or been caught and arrested, or they’d r@ped me, or my wife or family found out, or they had an STI, or filmed me? Shit! Had they filmed me and I was going to have it held over me and have to become their slut?!?! My mind again was all over the place!!

Yet….yet here I was on my bed hard and erect and horny still! I logged onto my phone and into fab and checked my profile - sir had given feedback that I was a newby cock sucker and that he’s broken my oral virginity and I had done ok, that I was obedient and dressed like the sissy I am, and taken all his cum. I felt proud to have pleased sir, and felt a warm happy glow in my tummy. The feeling of making sir happy felt amazing. Regardless of the pain or the humiliation or nervousness of being caught…it felt amazing to have served and pleased sir. Looking back this felt different to my ex girlfriend - that was part of a loving relationship that had grown to a point of Dom and sub, and my feelings of pleasing her came from a ‘boyfriend’ who was sub. Here, I was just a stupid sub who’d do anything to please! It felt great and I knew I needed it again!

I lie in bed and took out my buttplug and got my dildo. I instinctively opened my mouth and tried to push it to the back of my throat, trying to take as much as deep as I could. I wanted to be able to take it so I both pleased my next sir, and also didn’t feel like my stomach was about to explode everywhere. I knew I needed it inside me and gently inserted it deep as far as it would go - I felt sooooo full. Although I’d worn a buttplug for the last few hours, this was longer and felt painful to begin with. Yet I carried on and I slowly rode it, edging myself to the edge of orgasm and then spanked my little sissy cock to stop me from cumming. I did this repeatedly and was desperate to cum.

A message then appeared from sir - “How do you feel boy?” I excitedly responded that I was good and was proud to get a review from sir. That is felt bad and guilty and scared but that I was excited to have finally felt and tasted another cock, and that I was desperate to break other horny virginities!

I told sir that I was on bed in my cummy knickers and had a dildo deep inside me and that I was desperate to cum. Almost immediately an email arrived, giving me instructions on how to cum! Sir told me that I was pathetic in cumming so quickly earlier and that I needed to train so that I wasn’t such a pathetic little sissy. I was told to wank and to ruin my orgasm into my knickers but to do this repeatedly for the next hour. I was to be punished for being so eager to cum earlier and I was to send an email with evidence of my cum soaked knickers! I hornily did what I was told!

The feeling of having a dildo deep inside me, the lingerie, my cummy knickers and knowing I was to please sir put me immediately on the edge of cumming. I tried to hold back, but within a few minutes of starting sirs challenge…I could feel my orgasm building. I spanked my sissy cock hard and said out loud “sorry sir” but even this had little effect! I took my hand away from my cock and pulled my knickers over it quickly and had the most annoying ruined orgasm. I didn’t feel fulfilled or content yet a dribble of cum and filled my already wet knickers. I still had over 50 mins and knew I had to cum again more to please sir! My cock was still erect but was achy and sore. It was going to be a long 50 minutes!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Great story

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

For the next 50 minutes I battled to get erect again, initially by anal toys and prostate massage and then porn and then the feeling of power shower onto my sensitive cock, balls and arse. I stroked my stockinged legs, sucked the dildo desperately trying to deep throat it, and gently spanked and completed self-CBT…anything to remain aroused. I managed to ‘cum’ maybe 3 more times, but each spurt becoming less and less! But my knickers and suspender belt were sodden. I’d done exactly what sir had required of me and I quickly sent the photographic evidence that I had fulfilled sirs task. All I got back was “Good boy”, but this was enough to know that I had pleased my sir. I quickly tidied my toys away, and drifted immediately to sleep on top of the duvet - still wearing my lingerie from tonight’s evening of sexual exploration and fun.

I don’t know what I dreamt of that night but I am pretty sure it involved lingerie and cock and cum as I woke about 3am freezing cold and hard and erect. I went to the toilet and put on the bathroom lights, and was shocked to see how pathetic a sissy I looked. I was ashamed at what I’d done and made a vow to throw away all the lingerie and toys and resist the sexual urges for dominants or cock or cum! I showered and thought about the risks on everything I had done. I hated myself and pathetically sat in the shower crying about how stupid I’d been.

Looking back now this self loathing and cycle has repeatedly occurred, of: have a meet, feel immediately euphoric and proud of my obedience and subservience, then a feeling of guilt and disgust, to destroying all my lingerie and sex toys; to then the urge becoming too much and me needing cock so bad I hastily set up a meet. And so on and so on!

Yet in the morning I woke up still horny and excited. The feeling of guilt was gone and I knew I urgently needed more cock fun. I showered again, and dressed into fresh stockings, suspender belt, knickers and a black babydoll. I put on a black pinstriped suit, pink shirt and tie and went down for breakfast with my team. The conversations as always was about women they’d chatted up and the dingy club they’d been to, and then the plans for today. I had a few meetings on my own so made mg excuses and went back to my room and logged into fab. I messaged sir, who had been on line 5 minutes ago, and said that I had one night left and would love for him to come around and do with me as he pleased. I waited for a response. And waited. I made a few business calls and logged into my laptop to check project schedules and what was needed to be done today. 30 minutes later and there was still no response! I impatiently moaned like some teenage brat getting more and more annoyed that sir was not doing what I wanted. This annoyance was soon replaced by stress and problems at work, & business meetings where I had to make decisions on the spot and tell people what to do…on the outside I was dominant and leading, but under my suit I was sissy Stephanie! Before I knew it was 2pm and I was back in the hotel bar with a quick lunch and a pint. I logged into fab quickly on my phone and still nothing! Even worse my message had not even been read, even though I could see sir was on line 30 minutes ago! I was fuming and desperate and sent a garbled message to sir apologising if I’d failed him and that he no longer wanted what I had to offer. I had 90 minutes before an end of day team and project review, so went to my room and stripped and lay on my bed in my lingerie. I needed cock so badly!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I checked for who was nearby and sent some desperate begging messages, implicitly saying what I needed. Here I was, a supposed submissive, asking and telling the dominant and top men what I, ME!, needed! Looking back, the next few hours taught me so much about true obedience and servitude and what submission actually really meant!

I went onto the meets and events and forums and realised that there was an alleged cottage nearby to me. I’d never been brave enough to do this, but my desire for cum meant I was quickly seeing how far it was away. Before I knew it I was dressed and walking to a known toilets. When I got there, they were seedier than I’d ever imagined! They were dark with little lighting, and smelt of stale urine with piss on the floor. The window was cracked and the cubicles were scrawled with lewd graffiti and pictures of oversized cocks. I was here and it was empty! Annnnd I had no idea what to do?! I sat in the stalls and played with my cock through my knickers, with my expensive suit trousers down by my ankles!..:.but immediately stopped when I heard a cough and then another one, and then a gentle tap on the door! I froze thinking it was the police! But before I could pull up my trousers a voice said “let me in”. I had no idea who it was or how old they were, or what they were like…but I opened the door, and an old one is welt man of about 65 entered.

“Oh what have we here” he said! He placed a carrier bag on the floor with a jumper in it, and stepped into it so he was standing between my legs. I had no idea what he was doing! He explained that if anyone looked under the stall they’d just see my legs and a bag on the floor! He got out his cock - it was cut and about 6” and much thinner than my first and only cock so far, but was already hard. “Suck it then bitch” he said and forced my head to his cock, and rammed it down my throat and proceeded to forcibly face fuck me hard and fast. His cock was smelly and unwashed and had a weird “pissy” taste, and it was a totally unsexy sordid affair. Yet the abuse of my mouth, being verbally humiliated and told what a pathetic sissy was, and the scary risk of being caught was soooooo exciting. After about 5 minutes they were leaking so much precum and were panting and heavy breathing. “I’m gonna cum in your mouth bitch” they sneered at me, but then changed their mind and pulled out and came all over my face. It exploded on my tongue and face, and dribbled down my chin on to my babydoll, annnnd onto my suit trousers. They quickly put their cock away and left. I was shocked and horny, and again could not believe what I’d just done. My need for cock made me take stupid risks, and I was sitting covered in cum!

I contemplated wiping it off my fingers, or using a tissue, but decided to just leave the cubicle with it on my face still! I pulled up my trousers and put on my shirt and suit jacket, and left to go wash my hands. At the urinal was a younger man, about 50, with his thick 7” cock out wanking. He looked at me, and said “wanna give me a hand!”. I ushered him to the cubicle but he said he just wanted us to wank each other. So I dropped my trousers a bit, and he started to rub my cock to through my knickers and reach in to kiss me. I asked him to stop and said I had cum on my face! But he carried on, getting the cum in a snowball kiss between us. It was amazing! Yet he soon took all the cum and told me to open my mouth and spat it in my mouth! I was horrified and shocked, but did as I was told and quickly swallowed it all down! By now he was horny and pushed me to my knees and told me to suck him. He was gentler and asked me to massage his balls, and to suck them as I walked him. His cock was uncut and initially struggled with his foreskin dab almost didn’t know what to do. But he helped me, and gently told me what he liked…and again I did everything he needed! Very to soon he was cumming down my throat. It was less aggressive or dominant but was still so hot. He told me to stand up and that it was his turn! I’d never been sucked by a man before and, just like my first wank, was very quickly cumming. As soon as I’d finished they quickly pulled me up and passionately kissed me, with my own cum! Again they snowballed the cum in my mouth and made me swallow it - my own cum!

I’d impromptu decided to visit a known cottage and had just swallowed three loads of cum in less than an hour! I hurried back to the hotel unsure of what I’d do next!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Once I got back I walked past the bar to my room to shower and to change, but then remembered sir! I logged on and there was a simple message:

“Sissy Stephanie, I am glad that I could become your first taste of cock and that I started this journey that you now embark upon. But I need you to consider what submission actually is. Rudely stating what YOU need or desire is not submission, it’s selfish. Desperately moaning that I’ve not responded is not obedience, it’s pure insolence. And seeking any cock to spite me or to get what you deserve is not obedience it’s just sex. As a dominant I take responsibility for not just your sexual needs, but your mental and physical ones too. Yet you want the sexual thrill that you miss from your wife or ex mistress. It’s kinky sex and that alone that you desire. A true submissive must put their total trust in a dominant that they will do whatever sir believes their sub needs. TRUST.”

I was shocked to receive such a calm mail but one that made it implicitly clear how much I had failed and disappointed sir. I was ashamed in a way different to before! I felt ashamed of MY desires and MY needs and of MY doing what I felt I needed. Interestingly sir set me a challenge, with a long questionnaire of submission and needs and boundaries and trust. He said he knew it was my last day and that we’d be unlikely to meet again, but that if I truly considered myself a submissive then I should ponder each question openly.

He also attached links to forum posts and websites about D/S, BDSM, CNS,TPE, RACK and SSC. He told me about munches and even listed some local to me, as well as sirs and masters near me who I should consider contacting. I was devastated that I’d failed a real sir and master, but someone who could have been my mentor and guide.

I’d learned a lesson on what real submission and dominance meant, and about understanding not just my sexual submission but also my mental side too. Looking back, my ex girlfriend, my first sir, and a crazy hour in a sordid toilets truly shaped me in my journey to what I have become today! Of course, along that journey has been many other exciting and scary experiences too! But maybe that’s another story x

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By *ndrea54TV/TS
over a year ago

cambridge

Wow that is some experience and so horny reading about it

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Wow that is some experience and so horny reading about it

Thank you so much for the comment - I’ve certainly been in a massive journey of discovery, where I go through periods of actively dressing and playing…& then throwing it all away and panicking! At the start of the first lockdown I thew away all manner of lingerie, a pair of heel, sex toys and some BDSM tools…all because I was worried my family may find it!

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By *iM4kinkMan
over a year ago

San Antonio

What an awesome story for any submissive, so want to live all that out. Maybe even get a bit nastier

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By *iM4kinkMan
over a year ago

San Antonio

i really enjoyed your cock descriptions, i've sucked cocks that smelled and tasted of piss and can remember being ashamed of how much i liked it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thank you sir. There were moments through the journey where I was really humiliated, including one time where I had to lick a sirs toilet clean as he’d said I had inadvertently left some wee on the toilet seat (as I had to wee with a cock cage on) as well as when my physical boundaries of pain were pushed to their limits.

All in all I’ve been lucky to have dominants who understood the dynamic and really operated with l trust and openness. I’ve often been pushed waaaaaay out my comfort zone but have been lucky to not have non-consensual “abuse”…but have had had many amazing CNC scenes!

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