FabSwingers.com forum: That guy.

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I didn't even want to be there. I was at a crap party with crap people in flat belonging to some friend of a friend I didn't even know. My mate begged me to come so I said yes because that's the kind of person I am. Nice. I'm nice.

As soon as we arrived I knew why we were there, we had barely put our drinks in the fridge when my friend made a beeline for the host. She introduced us but I could tell he had as much interest in me as I had in him. Instead I stood there like a spare part whilst they flirted and she laughed like a seal. This guy wasn't even funny.

I stood wondering if I could feign some kind of illness to escape and that's when I saw him. Tall, hairy, wearing a "lads on tour" baseball cap and a t-shirt with his own face printed on it. At first he was just some guy that had come a bit too casual, the shorts and converse combo didn't exactly scream party unless you're an American high school teen and someone's parents had gone away for the weekend. He was that guy.

I know for a fact he hadn't brought that 6 pack he'd pulled out the fridge and was making short work of. I watched as he mingled, people were tolerant at first, thinking he was maybe just a bit quirky but the more he drank the louder he got and the more people blatantly ignored him. At one point I swear I saw him just talking to the air. He was that guy.

I heard him announce rather loudly he needed to shit and stumbled off in the direction of the bathroom. He probably barged his way to the front of the queue, you could tell by looking at him he was that guy.

By this point I'd got chatting to a few people and decided it was gonna be an alright night after all. I made my way to the kitchen to grab another cider from the fridge. I was searching for a bottle opener and spotted one near the most handsome man I'd ever seen in my life. As I made my approach he smiled at me and I felt myself blush and get flustered. He said hi as I reached past him and as I looked up into his eyes I knew he'd be an amazing fuck. He just had that vibe about him. I could feel his eyes on me as I went to the fridge and I was pretty sure I was going home with him that night.

As I went to open the fridge a hand touched mine and I winced as I realised who it was.

"Alright doll" he said as he pulled my bag of ciders from inside.

"They're mine! " I mumbled as he look the opener from my hand, cracked one open and I watched as he chugged half the bottle then stopped for an almighty burp, bubbles of cider making their way down his unruly beard.

"Oh sorry, did you want one?" he said as he opened and handed me a bottle before downing the rest of his and opening the fridge again.

"Oooohhhh" he said, brandishing a bottle of tequila. "Shot?". I tried to protest, the tequila didn't belong to us and I really didn't want to get that d*unk but he looked upset and begged me, telling me that he had no one else to shots with and I gave in because that's what I do, I'm too nice.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

We took the shot. And another. He poured a third and announced to the room that I was his best mate. The hot guy looked at me in disgust. Great, cock blocked by the weird guy.

Things didn't really improve from there. I stayed talking with him as long as I could manage, he spraffed shit, made a spectacle of himself and pissed off everyone else there. But still I stayed because I'm too polite to leave. Even when I did manage to escape to the bathroom he was waiting outside for me. He caught me unaware as I opened the door and he grabbed me, thrusting his face against mine. I almost gagged from the stench of BO and the fact he'd forced his whole tongue into my mouth accompanied by an ugh ugh ugh noise as he attempted to find traces of my dinner in my teeth. Finally he stopped and my face burned with shame, everyone was looking. Great, now everyone thinks I like him.

The night went on and I realised I hadn't seen my friend for ages, I guess she managed to pull the host because I hadn't seen him either. I tried to escape to the garden for air but the weird guy followed. By this point I was quite d*unk and was finding him quite amusing, he wasn't a bad guy really, just a bit of a liability.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

The night was winding down, people were starting to leave, a few had fallen asleep on sofas etc but still he kept going. Talking and talking and talking. My head felt like it might explode so I thought fuck it, I need to shut him up some how. I figured everyone thought I was fucking him so I might as well. It had been a while for me and I'm pretty sure it had been even longer for him. Bad sex is better than no sex right?

I shouted him over from where he was pissing in the flower bed. "Wouldn't it be funny to shit in their fridge" he asked and I knew then I had to take one for the team and I kissed him.

It was even worse than before, he must've vomited at one point and his d*unken tongue was still fully in my mouth but it was floppy and just moving around like a jellyfish in my mouth. I realised if I was gonna do this it needed to be in private so I lead him upstairs dying a little inside as he told the few remaining party goers he was gonna "smash my back doors in."

As soon as I closed the bedroom door he was on me, trying to rip off my clothes. Literally. He thought it was OK to rip my clothes. I pushed him onto the bed and the look of terror in his eyes made me pity him a little, he really didn't get women, I wondered if he was still a virgin.

I stood before him and took off my top, his eyes nearly popped out his head at the site of my breasts and he made a grab for them, pulling me towards him as his mouth found his way to my nipples. I swear to god her was chewing them and even my hitting him on the back and saying oooooowwww didn't give him the hint it was awful.

Finally he stopped and leaned in for another kiss. I couldn't face that so instead I ducked down and pulled off his t-shirt. His body wasn't great and he definitely needed to use more deodorant. Weirdly the stench of BO was accompanied by a slight aroma of baked beans. I figured it was best not to ask why.

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By *enusandmarsCouple
over a year ago

Buryish

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don’t remember this party ? Did I shit in the fridge ?????

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By *aseloadedMan
over a year ago

City Centre

"I don’t remember this party ? Did I shit in the fridge ?????"

You shat into the pot of beans, hence the smell of beans off you...

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