I am a lucky guy. I am married to lady, who I love very much, and we have a girlfriend who we both care for a great deal. We have been in this three way relationship for a number of years, although it has only really developed since my wife and I became married. This set the scene where we are all comfortable and know our positions in the relationship.
So the practical bits are my wife and I live together alone with our pets. We have grown up children scatted about and although they all know our girlfriend, only one has actually guessed the full extent of our friendship. We have both been married before and had long term relationships. We are both Bi, but my wife only since we formed our relationship, which she has enthusiastically explored. I am Bi since my teenage years and although I have never dated a guy I am open about it to my relationships and gay and other select friends.
Our girlfriend lives in a nearby town. She is single although she has been married and had long term relationships. She is a business person and has no children. If would be fair to state she is very middle class, church attending conservative, small c, lady who most people would describe as pillar of the community and prudish. She, use to, travel a lot and would say she is Bi with my wife but no one else.
Because of practical and work issues, we normally meet every Saturday evening and enjoy each other company which means meals, music, wine, films and sex. However, it is not uncommon for us to meet up in the week and see each other at social functions etc. We could have sex every time we meet for a month and then not for a while. Being a typical guy I am always ready for sex! None of our friends mutual and individuals know we are in this relationship and those that do know the three of us, believe we are no closer than anyone else in the group.
We argue and this can lead to difficulties especially if it is a big one. We, I have found, it is always me that is in the wrong and I have to apologise, no different to any other relationship! The ladies will often gang up on me and say, you wanted this relationship now you have twice the hassle. This is spot on correct. The girlfriend will offload about work and her cat several times a week and my wife most days. If they are having a ‘we hate men period’ I make myself absent and start cooking a meal. Basically it’s twice the grief. The sex bit is great, but you have to have the both in the mood at the same time and in the same place. Yes I have had sex with both individually, especially my wife, but our girlfriend is for both of us to spoil and so it is only occasionally.
If you are a guy and you want a polygamist relationship for the sex forget it. Stick to swinging. Don’t try and hide the real intention of what you want by dressing it up as you being a free sprit who has love for many people. Like a normal relationship it’s hard work. Not twice as hard but three times as you are also involved in any turmoil between the other two as well, hint, it’s always your fault.
Yes there is loads of fun and laughter and the knowledge that there is more than someone there should you need help and support. But also there is the hurt and worry and concern about someone you care about very much especially when we could not physically meet up. There are two personalities you have to learn. One can be soft and gentle and then hard and uncompromising on one group of issues which the other is completely different about. Then on the next subject they both flip and the other is... you get my meaning.
Did my wife and I plan this, no definitely not. Yes we enjoyed the company of others over the years, of both genders, but an actual relationship, no. If you want a polygamist relationship go for it, but like all aspects of love it’s hard graft. |
