FabSwingers.com forum: Daft things people say !!

By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1 OP Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

I was in the supermarket this morning and there was this kid being naughty his mum was getting very angry and kept saying do you want me to smack you ...yeah like the kids gonna say yeah lol

Reminded me of some of the thinks my mum would say to me as a kid and one that stuck in my mind was ....if you fall and break your legs dont come running to me lmao

what other funny sayings make you laugh ?

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By *uitar_antiheroMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

"Cheap at half the price." No shit sherlock! :p

"Yeah fine thanks, you?" when all you've said is hello & not actually asked how they are yet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I remember my mum saying lots of things like that when I was younger;

"You'll be laughing on the other side of your face or I'll take my hand off your jaw lady" classic examples of mums sayings, some of which she still uses today

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By *mumaWoman
over a year ago

Livingston

Keep that up and I will give you something to really cry for....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

don't look at me in that tone of voice!!!!

still bamboozles me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have spent a lot of time at the doctors and hospitals recently and its amazing how many people say to each other. " How are you"? And the other replies "Fine you"? Why are they at the Doctors then? lol

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1 OP Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

"don't look at me in that tone of voice!!!!

still bamboozles me "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Scots must be the only language where two positives make a negative............

" Aye right"!....

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By *rStarbuckMan
over a year ago

Edinburgh

My mum used to get annoyed at me and the others and just shout 'What have I told you?!' haha my reply was always 'Well, many things....'

didn't go down very well but ah well!

I used to wonder why she would get so frustrated with us, now that I have my own ...yeah, I get it now!

L xxx

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By *mumaWoman
over a year ago

Livingston

when my mum used to say "I will wipe that smirk off your face", I always had the vision of the spitting on a hankie scenario

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By *illow PimpMan
over a year ago

Midlothian

This is going to hurt me more than it hurts you as the spatula comes out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You're in deep shit."

Am I? Really?

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By *mumaWoman
over a year ago

Livingston

"This is going to hurt me more than it hurts you as the spatula comes out

it did... and it was a metal fish slice

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By *illow PimpMan
over a year ago

Midlothian

"This is going to hurt me more than it hurts you as the spatula comes out

it did... and it was a metal fish slice

Nippy stingy eh lol, back of hand as i reached for the cake mix or across arse when i tested how sharp my pen knife was on her new leather sofa

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By *mumaWoman
over a year ago

Livingston

"This is going to hurt me more than it hurts you as the spatula comes out

it did... and it was a metal fish slice

Nippy stingy eh lol, back of hand as i reached for the cake mix or across arse when i tested how sharp my pen knife was on her new leather sofa

definitely the cake mix.... I'm not letting you near that manual whisk again. You are a danger!!

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By *illow PimpMan
over a year ago

Midlothian

"definitely the cake mix.... I'm not letting you near that manual whisk again. You are a danger!!

No whisk needed for a creampie

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"where did you loose it"!!!!!! my mums favourite...ffs........usually followed by a good skelp

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1 OP Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

""where did you loose it"!!!!!! my mums favourite...ffs........usually followed by a good skelp "

lmao funny

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Keep that up and I will give you something to really cry for...."

haha i still use that one on my grandaughters lol

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By *ilandlarryCouple
over a year ago

more north lincs than mids!

"I was in the supermarket this morning and there was this kid being naughty his mum was getting very angry and kept saying do you want me to smack you ...yeah like the kids gonna say yeah lol

I asked my daughter that once and she said yes. Never said it again, think she was in shock that she did actually get a smack!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When my daughter was about 2 she had a wee Winnie the Poo cuddly toy.I was running a bath for her and she was dipping winnie in and out of the toilet.I turned to her and said"Laura,don't ever put poo down the toilet again"Thank god she never listened to

me!!!!

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1 OP Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

"When my daughter was about 2 she had a wee Winnie the Poo cuddly toy.I was running a bath for her and she was dipping winnie in and out of the toilet.I turned to her and said"Laura,don't ever put poo down the toilet again"Thank god she never listened to

me!!!!

lmao now thats just funny lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I remember this classic from when i was young and misbehaving "Do you want me to leather your arse" no wonder i grew up with s&m tendencies

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By *issNaughtyxxxWoman
over a year ago

Aberdeen

As someone who work's in social work and as a carer find it so upsetting when parent's say "if you dont behave, the bad man/men will get you" what a stupid thing to say!

My mum alway's told me if i ate my carrot's i could see in the dark, i always remember going out to the ponies at night, asked her my night vision is'nt working so she said eat more and if i held a carrot i could tune into my night vision better!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

if my sister and I pulled funny faces, my mum would say " don't do that, if the wind changes, your face will stay like that"

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By *issNaughtyxxxWoman
over a year ago

Aberdeen

"if my sister and I pulled funny faces, my mum would say " don't do that, if the wind changes, your face will stay like that" "

This made me smile

my mum used to say this aswell.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was in the supermarket this morning and there was this kid being naughty his mum was getting very angry and kept saying do you want me to smack you ...yeah like the kids gonna say yeah lol

Reminded me of some of the thinks my mum would say to me as a kid and one that stuck in my mind was ....if you fall and break your legs dont come running to me lmao

what other funny sayings make you laugh ?

He might if he is a young bdsm lover!!!

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1 OP Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

"I was in the supermarket this morning and there was this kid being naughty his mum was getting very angry and kept saying do you want me to smack you ...yeah like the kids gonna say yeah lol

Reminded me of some of the thinks my mum would say to me as a kid and one that stuck in my mind was ....if you fall and break your legs dont come running to me lmao

what other funny sayings make you laugh ?

He might if he is a young bdsm lover!!!"

True lol maybe its our mums to blame after all lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you insist on being naughty, you're going to get pumped, as told to the Orcadian child.

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By *eatherWoman
over a year ago

glasgow

my mum used to say to me stop wool gathering when i wasnt paying attaention aye all right in the middle of springburn road with tenements all round us i never did catch those sheep

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As someone who work's in social work and as a carer find it so upsetting when parent's say "if you dont behave, the bad man/men will get you" what a stupid thing to say!

Lol,always laugh at this one,when eating bread i was told if you eat your crusts they will give you curly hair

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1 OP Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

"As someone who work's in social work and as a carer find it so upsetting when parent's say "if you dont behave, the bad man/men will get you" what a stupid thing to say!

Lol,always laugh at this one,when eating bread i was told if you eat your crusts they will give you curly hair

Eat your dinner there are millions of weans starving in africa....many a time i got a clip around the ear for saying yeah well send it to them then lol

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By *unstuffMan
over a year ago

Edinburgh/Cumbria

I think the funnyest thing Fab wise is guys saying..

"Allrite I know your straight but can I suck ur cock M8"

Normal answer.."Errr NO FUCK oFF!!"

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By *issNaughtyxxxWoman
over a year ago

Aberdeen

"As someone who work's in social work and as a carer find it so upsetting when parent's say "if you dont behave, the bad man/men will get you" what a stupid thing to say!

Lol,always laugh at this one,when eating bread i was told if you eat your crusts they will give you curly hair

Eat your dinner there are millions of weans starving in africa....many a time i got a clip around the ear for saying yeah well send it to them then lol

I used to hear this alot too!

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By *eatherWoman
over a year ago

glasgow

aye mum but do they like brussel sprouts cause i hate them i said i nearly ended up as a resident in the cemetery in sighthill in springburn

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By *ewels74Woman
over a year ago

Dundee/Angus/Blackpool

"if my sister and I pulled funny faces, my mum would say " don't do that, if the wind changes, your face will stay like that" "

and a few other sayings by my mum that some have mentioned, and damn she still scares me lol, but we seriously argue like crazy as well but like best friends afterwards, my dad just wonders what is going on all the time lol - poor guy haha...epic confusion for him

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I was in the supermarket this morning and there was this kid being naughty his mum was getting very angry and kept saying do you want me to smack you ...yeah like the kids gonna say yeah lol

Reminded me of some of the thinks my mum would say to me as a kid and one that stuck in my mind was ....if you fall and break your legs dont come running to me lmao

what other funny sayings make you laugh ?

He might if he is a young bdsm lover!!!

True lol maybe its our mums to blame after all lol"

I'm going to ask my mum this the next time I see her. "Was all the times you smacked me because I was being naughty or because you were preparing me for some type of submissive sex life?"

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By *mumaWoman
over a year ago

Livingston

Ooh kinkyguy, can I be there when you ask.... Got to record her reaction for posterity...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ooh kinkyguy, can I be there when you ask.... Got to record her reaction for posterity...

Aslong as your not wearing domme gear with whip etc.

That may sway her response!!

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By *l coupleCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow

My dad was one for saying "drink this, it'll put hairs on your chest". Erm, im 15, I already started getting hairs there without drinking this shit cider!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My dad was one for saying "drink this, it'll put hairs on your chest". Erm, im 15, I already started getting hairs there without drinking this shit cider!!"

I hope this post was from the guy in the couple

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Eat your dinner there are millions of weans starving in africa....many a time i got a clip around the ear for saying yeah well send it to them then lol

Was your Dad Bob Geldof

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By *mumaWoman
over a year ago

Livingston

"Ooh kinkyguy, can I be there when you ask.... Got to record her reaction for posterity...

Aslong as your not wearing domme gear with whip etc.

That may sway her response!!"

I will save that for after...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Was in a hurry to deliver flu vaccines, stopped by the police for goin too quick.

Officers passing comment as he handed me the ticket,,,"no need to speed,after all nobodys died of the flu now have they"!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I seem to remember something being said about Herry Hauns and yes that is a take on hairy hands lol,i think it was a threat if i was bad then herry hauns would get me ha ha.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

^Edit

I think that was my own threat when it was time to choke the bishop

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By *phrodysiacWoman
over a year ago

Leven

fher favourite was "wait till your father gets home" aye and Im gonna hang about for that or "I'l take my hand off your jaw" it wasnt the taking the hand off it was the sudden impact just prior to that ....lol

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By *heiraWoman
over a year ago

edinburgh

I allways remember my grandmother throwing a hairbrush or slipper at me if i was cheeky to her then asking me to fetch it back to her...if i didnt she would say " take what you get if you dont " . I still to this day dont know why i allways took it back to her because i got hit with it anyway...and at close range !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never trust a man with brown shoes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Put your shoes and socks on... in that order? really? my socks would get dirty!

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By *issNaughtyxxxWoman
over a year ago

Aberdeen

"Put your shoes and socks on... in that order? really? my socks would get dirty!"

I was told this too and never thought about that!

Very good point indeed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Was the mother a milf? If so I might have said smack away dear.
"I was in the supermarket this morning and there was this kid being naughty his mum was getting very angry and kept saying do you want me to smack you ...yeah like the kids gonna say yeah lol

Reminded me of some of the thinks my mum would say to me as a kid and one that stuck in my mind was ....if you fall and break your legs dont come running to me lmao

what other funny sayings make you laugh ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My mum always said if i was going out to put clean underwear on,you never know you might get hit with a bus.Now if you do get hit with a bus i think my underwear would be the last thing i would have been worried about lol

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By *eatherWoman
over a year ago

glasgow

aye but what if u had nae undies on yer mum would be rreally angry

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By *eatherWoman
over a year ago

glasgow

my mum said once if u dont shut up ill gie ye something to greet for i replied what would u give me ma feckin ears were ringing for a week

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By *eclan_and_AimeeCouple
over a year ago

dunblane, stirling

"My mum always said if i was going out to put clean underwear on,you never know you might get hit with a bus.Now if you do get hit with a bus i think my underwear would be the last thing i would have been worried about lol"

i dare say, a high percentage of people hit by a bus would no longer have clean underwear on...

xAx

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By *eclan_and_AimeeCouple
over a year ago

dunblane, stirling

my dad always used to say,

'i see... said the blind man'

xAx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was always told as a kid to stand well back from the railway platform, as a fast train going by might suck me off the platform.......oh the opportunities of youth!!

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By *antaMan
over a year ago

Stirling/Alloa

"my dad always used to say,

'i see... said the blind man'

xAx"

hear hear said his deaf pal

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My mum used to say when we talked and shouted at meal times, shut your mouth and eat your dinner.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The ones I remember most that made me scratch ma head are 1, wheisht or al take ma hand off your face...? And 2, more hurry, less speed.

I'm pretty sure all parents said those things because the sheer confusion they can bring will shut any one up?

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