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Foot In Mouth

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

We were dining out recently in a very nice hotel restaurant, when the eastern-european waitress appeared with our selection of desserts. As she was struggling in her pidgeon english to announce each of the relevant desserts in order to see who had ordered which one. The ever gallant Mr.Classy stepped in & pointing to our wee boy said "he's got the sticky toffee pudding", the waitress smiles & places the pudding in front of him. Spotting her lift the creme brulee next he says, "that one's for me" & the plate is placed down in front of him. Looking at the last dessert, he points at Mrs.Classy and utters the now immortal line "& that's the tart there!" ........ his surviving the experience was only due to Mrs.Classys sheer disbelief.

but boy! she'll never let me forget it.

Yours faithfully,

the utterley tactless,

Mr.Classy xxx

oh, & it turns out that the waitresses english was'nt so bad after all, as she certainly seemed to catch the double entendre!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

pmsl, sorry hun but that's a classic!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

In my defence, I should have added that it was said entirely in innocence & I had'nt realised my (near-fatal) mistake until I saw Mrs.Classys expression!

honest darling,

Mr.Classy xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One pretty lady at the "goods out" warehouse, eager to know if the cargo is on way in lorry, add one busy guy(me) helping driver load the cargo, the pretty lady asks "why is he not away yet", busy guy replies "he is just puting his "strap-on",lol, did

a) i keep a straight face ?

b)Did she ?

c) Did we ?

T xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had a foot in mouth experience last week...

well no actually a foot.... was 11.75 inches.. but hey, what 0.25 between pals ......

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By *0thCenturyFoxWoman
over a year ago

Aberdeen

I work in construction and I vividly remember the first design team meeting I attended. The engineer was waxing lyrically regarding "the proper lubrication required to aid the erection process." (Concrete terminology). He then turned to me and asked my opinion, to which I replied "my preference is menthol, what's yours?" and waited for the ensuing laughter.....which didn't happen! I was in fact asked to leave the meeing.

My motto since then has been...

Save the smutty jokes for the contractor's site meetings and never ever assume everyone is as big a deviant as you!!!

xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

True story - I was sitting in the dentist chair finishing getting a filling (steady) when my very pretty dentist said "ok, if you just open wide my assistant will suck you dry" she wasn't amused when i said "Superb, can you get that on the NHS?"

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