FabSwingers.com forum: Messages that make you cringe

By *luebell888 OP Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

"Can i pump your slot"

Who said romance is dead. Words fail me at times.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

""Can i pump your slot""

Yeah I don't like receiving that one

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By *luebell888 OP Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

Why are folk so childish?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why are folk so childish?"

One can only assume that it's worked for them at some point.

Unless you meant me, in which case, yer maw

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By *ilkand2Couple
over a year ago

edinburgh

We got a copy and paste one the other day that started with seasons greetings and ended with.... I hope you have a nice Christmas....

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By *unzo605Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

Can i pump your slot?!?

Dear oh dear

Lol

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By *luebell888 OP Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

"Can i pump your slot?!?

Dear oh dear

Lol"

From male half of a couple.

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By *unzo605Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

[Removed by poster at 05/02/20 10:54:20]

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By *unzo605Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

Thats even worse. Hope he doesn't talk to the other half like that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thats even worse. Hope he doesn't talk to the other half like that "

It sounds even worse if you try to say it in a Mexican accent.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why are folk so childish?"
last message i received was

To fuk off

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Had my profile hidden for a wee while the first message received when I opened it was " can I fill your asshole with come and eat it out"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Had my profile hidden for a wee while the first message received when I opened it was " can I fill your asshole with come and eat it out"

I thought I'd already apologised for that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had a first message in response to a "kiss cuddle or torture" forum thread.

It said torture because it's the only option that means we wouldn't have to touch you at all..

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By *hedevilwearspradaWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere nearby

I’ve had “I want to spunk all over your piss flaps”.

Eh naw.

Oh and “I want to suckle your tits”

Also naw.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Had my profile hidden for a wee while the first message received when I opened it was " can I fill your asshole with come and eat it out"

I thought I'd already apologised for that

you didn't but you have now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I’ve had “I want to spunk all over your piss flaps”.

Eh naw.

Oh and “I want to suckle your tits”

Also naw. "

Ewwee makes me wonder what is wrong with people to say things like that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can I munch on your Davie Crockett Hat?

Can I spunk in your porridge?

Can I wear your skids as a ski mask?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why are folk so childish?last message i received was

To fuk off "

I hate the ones that are vague and leave you not knowing where you stand with someone

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By *mmixtapeCouple
over a year ago

middle earth

"let me make love to your face" stands out as a band one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My attempts at messaging come across as a slightly less awkward Hugh Grant..

"Could I perhaps maybe, you know, just on the off chance that you fancy me, which you probably don't, but if you did.. Well, I'd really like to - and I hope you don't mind me saying this - what I'd really like is to tickle your kitten. You know. Hear you purr. Oh god that's awful isn't it. I'm so sorry, look, I'll just go. Happy fabbing. Rob x"

I'm more confident in the flesh

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wanna sit on my face til I see what I look like with a beard?

That sounds like a bushy queenie session lol

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By *hedevilwearspradaWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere nearby

"I’ve had “I want to spunk all over your piss flaps”.

Eh naw.

Oh and “I want to suckle your tits”

Also naw.

Ewwee makes me wonder what is wrong with people to say things like that"

Unsurprisingly it’s guys that don’t have any veris.....

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By *vbride1963TV/TS
over a year ago

E.K . Glasgow

""Can i pump your slot"

Who said romance is dead. Words fail me at times."

Last time I done that it was a one armed bandit with 2p pieces

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

""Can i pump your slot"

Who said romance is dead. Words fail me at times.

Last time I done that it was a one armed bandit with 2p pieces

Was she any good with the one arm though? Imagine she'd had to refine her technique over the years

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By *ola cubesMan
over a year ago

coatbridge

Not so much msgs as forum posts or status updates licking hoop so bad it's a major cringe.

Msgs I deal with on merit whether converse with them or ask politely to away n boil their head before blocking

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By *ringles0510Woman
over a year ago

Central Borders

"I'd fuck you even if you had aids" is one that I can't seem to erase from my memory

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hearing aids, walking aids what kind of aids

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

""I'd fuck you even if you had aids" is one that I can't seem to erase from my memory

"
Omg thats just wrong

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By *rgoodnbadMan
over a year ago

greenock

""I'd fuck you even if you had aids" is one that I can't seem to erase from my memory

Kinnell!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Random phone numbers?

As if!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

""Can i pump your slot"

Who said romance is dead. Words fail me at times."
bet that just made you want him more

lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That would be nice for a change lol

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By *uffymayfairCouple
over a year ago

vera playa, Almeria

There are some pretty sad opening lines, it's really annoying when the first thing you get is I'd love to shag you or words to that effect so I usually reply "it's Mr here and that's really not my thing" lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

""Can i pump your slot"

Who said romance is dead. Words fail me at times."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

""Can I munch on your Davie Crockett Hat?

Can I spunk in your porridge?

Can I wear your skids as a ski mask?"

Davie Crockett hat hahahaha

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By *ink-KameraMan
over a year ago

Livingston

It's refreshing to see the Internet troll is alive and well

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By *urious1886Man
over a year ago

Lanarkshire

Class guy!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My attempts at messaging come across as a slightly less awkward Hugh Grant..

I'm more confident in the flesh

Haha brilliant

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By *he way you moveMan
over a year ago

Inverness

""let me make love to your face" stands out as a band one "

Like it. Kind of sounds can I slowly, gently and lovingly skull fuck you... maybe not ha ha.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why are folk so childish?"

Unfortunately guys have a totally different train of thought when it comes to dirty talk. I really think most of us disconnect our brains and dont realise its contextual aswell as tone.lol or maybe I just put far too much thought into it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Message me, I don't bite... unless you want me to"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just making a note of all these top class chat up lines.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

New one for me today...

"I'd love to watch your clit grow...."

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By *ltKittyWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

'Bet your some fuck ahahahah'

'if you gave me your number would you want me to write it in the public toilets so men know what a dirty slag you are?'

'So I've been described by my dad as the best kisser in the family...'

*Insert huge creepy, graphic paragraph of what someone wants to do to me*

I'll be honest, I laugh at the ones I get but the OP wins

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

the one i find the worst is

when they ask you "how are you? "

and i say good thanks how are you ?

and they say "Horny"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"New one for me today...

"I'd love to watch your clit grow...."

You must attract these types

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By *lair101TV/TS
over a year ago

Aberdeen, westhill

If I showed you some of my mail, you'd faint

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd never send anything like these. Infact I'd have to be asked what I'd want to do and even then it would be a tasteful answer.

Respect is big on my list

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd never send anything like these. Infact I'd have to be asked what I'd want to do and even then it would be a tasteful answer.

Respect is big on my list"

How do you tastefully tell someone that you'd like to put your penis inside them?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd never send anything like these. Infact I'd have to be asked what I'd want to do and even then it would be a tasteful answer.

Respect is big on my list

That depends on how the conversation is going but...

I'd love to get intimate with you....

Or I'd love to unwrap you...

But for sure nothing smutty

How do you tastefully tell someone that you'd like to put your penis inside them?"

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By *irth VaderMan
over a year ago

Busby

The iQ level of some of the guys who have sent these messages is the equivalent to the length of their knob in inches.

I bet they are the same guys who see a girl

walking down the street and shout from their car “oi, show us your tits’ as they drive past at 40mph.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The iQ level of some of the guys who have sent these messages is the equivalent to the length of their knob in inches.

I bet they are the same guys who see a girl

walking down the street and shout from their car “oi, show us your tits’ as they drive past at 40mph.

Good way of putting it!!

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By *eddy and legsCouple
over a year ago

the wetlands

"how's yous"

Or worse

"Hows use"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All these little wanks on here fucks it for most of us decent guys not sayin im not an asshole but still got respect

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"All these little wanks on here fucks it for most of us decent guys not sayin im not an asshole but still got respect"

They don't

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By *assy LassieWoman
over a year ago

Lanarkshire

"All these little wanks on here fucks it for most of us decent guys not sayin im not an asshole but still got respect"

No they just make the good ones stand out *no pun intended*

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By *asterslittlewhoreCouple
over a year ago

Edinburgh

I got a delightful 1st msg

I want to shake a bottle of beer then shove it up your arse sp it explodes.....

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By *ightimefun2Couple
over a year ago

stirling

Really looking to meet bi fem but....

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By *ightimefun2Couple
over a year ago

stirling

Edit last post. Tonight... 'my place has railings' ...

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By *unsexual MemelordWoman
over a year ago

Midlothian

"I got a delightful 1st msg

I want to shake a bottle of beer then shove it up your arse sp it explodes....."

LOL dafuq

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"All these little wanks on here fucks it for most of us decent guys not sayin im not an asshole but still got respect"

They make it easier tbh. Keep up the shit work cavemen and weirdos

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By *unseekers87Couple
over a year ago

Glasgow ish

"I got a delightful 1st msg

I want to shake a bottle of beer then shove it up your arse sp it explodes....."

Boooooooooooom

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By *evilsAdvocate94Woman
over a year ago

edinburgh

You get some belters on here most of them are Facepalm ones but anything with Hun or worse Hon makes my skin crawl

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By *amaraBeaverbankWoman
over a year ago

Benidorm Spain

The one I just got this morning is one of my most hated and makes my toes curl in the bad way..

Will you role play my mum

To each their own but ffs, first and only message to a complete stranger?

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