FabSwingers.com forum: Thanks but no thanks

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I always think honesty is the best policy - if someone doesnt float your boat or if you're just after one offs etc. Just say

Do you find it easier to just tell someone what they want to hear or be honest?

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By *ineinchtonyMan
over a year ago

Airdrie

I would always prefer to be upfront and honest and would hope anyone else would be the same with me. A polite thanks but no thanks is always better than a white lie in my eyes!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I would always prefer to be upfront and honest and would hope anyone else would be the same with me. A polite thanks but no thanks is always better than a white lie in my eyes! "

I agree - no point keeping folk hanging on

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By *ineinchtonyMan
over a year ago

Airdrie

"I would always prefer to be upfront and honest and would hope anyone else would be the same with me. A polite thanks but no thanks is always better than a white lie in my eyes!

I agree - no point keeping folk hanging on "

Exactly my views. Would much rather be rejected/declined than lied to!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always reply no thanks.

Its manners

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I would always prefer to be upfront and honest and would hope anyone else would be the same with me. A polite thanks but no thanks is always better than a white lie in my eyes!

I agree - no point keeping folk hanging on

Exactly my views. Would much rather be rejected/declined than lied to! "

Me too - we are all supposed to be adults after all

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I always reply no thanks.

Its manners "

It is... Just polite

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By *ineinchtonyMan
over a year ago

Airdrie

"I always reply no thanks.

Its manners "

Spot on, it's manners! Treat people how you wish to be treated and so on

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I always reply no thanks.

Its manners

Spot on, it's manners! Treat people how you wish to be treated and so on

You reading my mind? Lol

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By *ineinchtonyMan
over a year ago

Airdrie

"I always reply no thanks.

Its manners

Spot on, it's manners! Treat people how you wish to be treated and so on

You reading my mind? Lol"

I wish I could say I was but sadly I'm not that talented!

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

"I always think honesty is the best policy - if someone doesnt float your boat or if you're just after one offs etc. Just say

Do you find it easier to just tell someone what they want to hear or be honest?

"
Always be up front with people no point in wasting there time or yours

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Surely on a site like this where people seem to know exactly what they want it can’t be rude to just be really direct.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just ignore the messages.

I've found replying can sometimes lead to more messages or abuse.

I ocassionsllly challenge myself to reply to unread messages if they have made an effort to write more than a few words

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Good manners cost nothing, treat people with respect as we all want to be respected.

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By *ineinchtonyMan
over a year ago

Airdrie

"I just ignore the messages.

I've found replying can sometimes lead to more messages or abuse.

I ocassionsllly challenge myself to reply to unread messages if they have made an effort to write more than a few words "

That I can totally understand too. With the amount of messages women get on here it must take hours if you want to individually reply no thanks to everyone you aren't interested in and wouldn't be feasible.

But once you're actually chatting away to someone, honesty is always the best policy

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I always think honesty is the best policy - if someone doesnt float your boat or if you're just after one offs etc. Just say

Do you find it easier to just tell someone what they want to hear or be honest?

Always be up front with people no point in wasting there time or yours

I totally agree

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Surely on a site like this where people seem to know exactly what they want it can’t be rude to just be really direct. "

You wouldnt have thought so but sadly some are incapable of it

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I just ignore the messages.

I've found replying can sometimes lead to more messages or abuse.

I ocassionsllly challenge myself to reply to unread messages if they have made an effort to write more than a few words "

I do try to reply as its one of my pet hates not having someone reply... It can be difficult at times though to keep up

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Good manners cost nothing, treat people with respect as we all want to be respected."

So very true

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I totally get why woman dont reply though.

1. the amount of messages you get

2. the abuse that follows from saying no thanks.

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By *hedevilwearspradaWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere nearby

Honesty is the best policy I think. It’s difficult sometimes though if you’ve been chatting to someone for a bit, as maybe you get on socially really well, but sexually the compatibility isn’t there. Or sometimes people don’t want to hear no, so choose to ignore the tell tale signs.

Initial messages though, it does pay to lay your cards on the table!

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By *eeks-R-UsCouple
over a year ago

Livingston

We're both super nice and polite so really struggled at being honest at first but we both prefer that.

Better to not waste anyone's time!

We still sometimes find it hard in person at a club though haha.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Honesty is the best policy I think. It’s difficult sometimes though if you’ve been chatting to someone for a bit, as maybe you get on socially really well, but sexually the compatibility isn’t there. Or sometimes people don’t want to hear no, so choose to ignore the tell tale signs.

Initial messages though, it does pay to lay your cards on the table! "

There could be that too.. I always do lay my cards on the table

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 19/01/20 22:13:26]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"[Removed by poster at 19/01/20 22:13:26]"

Normally too inundated to reply no

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"[Removed by poster at 19/01/20 22:13:26]

Normally too inundated to reply no

There is that sometimes yes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I always think honesty is the best policy - if someone doesnt float your boat or if you're just after one offs etc. Just say

Do you find it easier to just tell someone what they want to hear or be honest?

It's always going to be easier to tell someone what they want to hear, especially if you have already struck up a rapport with them.

Honesty is the best policy though and I'm sure is always appreciated.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"[Removed by poster at 19/01/20 22:13:26]

Normally too inundated to reply no

There is that sometimes yes"

Haha - the males don’t get that many

l would always reply - nice to be nice!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I always think honesty is the best policy - if someone doesnt float your boat or if you're just after one offs etc. Just say

Do you find it easier to just tell someone what they want to hear or be honest?

It's always going to be easier to tell someone what they want to hear, especially if you have already struck up a rapport with them.

Honesty is the best policy though and I'm sure is always appreciated. "

This

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"[Removed by poster at 19/01/20 22:13:26]

Normally too inundated to reply no

There is that sometimes yes

Haha - the males don’t get that many

l would always reply - nice to be nice!

It is nice to be nice

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I always think honesty is the best policy - if someone doesnt float your boat or if you're just after one offs etc. Just say

Do you find it easier to just tell someone what they want to hear or be honest?

It's always going to be easier to tell someone what they want to hear, especially if you have already struck up a rapport with them.

Honesty is the best policy though and I'm sure is always appreciated. "

It is.. And better sooner rather than later otherwise they're waiting for something thats never gonna happen

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By *r Costa xxMan
over a year ago

stirling

"I always think honesty is the best policy - if someone doesnt float your boat or if you're just after one offs etc. Just say

Do you find it easier to just tell someone what they want to hear or be honest?

It's always going to be easier to tell someone what they want to hear, especially if you have already struck up a rapport with them.

Honesty is the best policy though and I'm sure is always appreciated.

It is.. And better sooner rather than later otherwise they're waiting for something thats never gonna happen "

Agree

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By *1ck1Man
over a year ago

dundee

I very rarely get a reply back for a no thanks, but i do always say no thanks back seems some women on here like to play games as much as the guys

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By *andACouple
over a year ago

glasgow

We just tell people they aren't what we're looking for and wish them all the best on the site. Haven't really come up with a bettter way of saying it.

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By *ibiJayMan
over a year ago

Edinburgh

It depends really, some I ignore, such as the classic 'you want sucked' messages but others I'll generally reply and say no.

I also always try to at least say thank you if someone is complimenting my pictures.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Whenever possible I try to be honest...never nice though when someone pushes for a reason why and you tell them you don't find them physically attractive. Maybe best to block after replying "no thanks" ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Agree, I still use this method!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The risk of getting a nippy stalker could be high there though. Fair few needy folks contained within. I’d say polite ‘cheer big ears but no ta’ and first poor me message in return gets an instant block. Oot their misery. Short n sharp. Off with the plaster. Git r done.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always reply nicely regardless of who it is. It's nice to be nice and don't have it in me to be nasty to anyone.

It does no harm to reply but if someone has messaged asking for meet I know they haven't read our profile but I just explain we don't meet privately unless we have met prior at social meets or cjs, explain we value the time when we get freedom and I'd be pissed right of if anyone wasted our time so that's why we prefer to do it our way.

I have time to explain. Some people check pics out and forget to read the long profile, I get that, so i don't bother having to explain.

Hubby on the other hand will just read and ignore and leave it to me to explain as he has no patience to reply if you can't read profiles.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would always prefer to be upfront and honest and would hope anyone else would be the same with me. A polite thanks but no thanks is always better than a white lie in my eyes!

I agree - no point keeping folk hanging on

Exactly my views. Would much rather be rejected/declined than lied to! "

Couldn’t of said it any better myself hun x Kay x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 11/03/20 08:43:08]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I totally get why woman dont reply though.

1. the amount of messages you get

2. the abuse that follows from saying no thanks.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Always best to tell and be honest!

Nobody is too busy not to be nice!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd rather be honest just like I prefer people to be honest with me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not that I get many "1st messages" but I would reply with a no thanks if I wasnt keen. Myst be harder for women to keep up with their messages though. Surprised you dont need a PA?!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not that I get many "1st messages" but I would reply with a no thanks if I wasnt keen. Myst be harder for women to keep up with their messages though. Surprised you dont need a PA?!"

I knew a girl met her a few times she showed me her mails over 600 in 2 days and that's with some filters I'm so glad I don't get that amount!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Even when you have no Interest in them.

They still send you abuse. Calling you a fake time waster etc.....

Then I just hit the block button

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By *evilsAdvocate94Woman
over a year ago

edinburgh

Being polite is fine but it’s when the “why?” Comes after then several messages later they are still at it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Being polite is fine but it’s when the “why?” Comes after then several messages later they are still at it

"
then apply the block button

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By *ast RolloMan
over a year ago

glasgow west

unfortunately telling folk the truth can upset their snowflake mentality some times.

I find blunt honesty tho hard is the easiest why to be.

an old saying don't polish a turd

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By *asterslittlewhoreCouple
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Its the whys or abuse that stop me replying or the guilt trip of why your not attracted to them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My assumption when sending any message is that I won’t get a response, to the point that I sometimes am so baffled by getting one that I have no idea what to say next… I try never to message the same person twice, as I fully respect and understand their decision not to talk to me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The ones that spit the dummy and call you ugly, fat or whatever are not worth it they were clearly desperate and would shag anything.

Now I don't k ow about anyone else but I'd rather someone be attracted to me to bed me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 12/03/20 15:34:10]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Best say a polite no,and block if contacted again

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"The ones that spit the dummy and call you ugly, fat or whatever are not worth it they were clearly desperate and would shag anything.

Now I don't k ow about anyone else but I'd rather someone be attracted to me to bed me "

There has to be mutual attraction

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"unfortunately telling folk the truth can upset their snowflake mentality some times.

I find blunt honesty tho hard is the easiest why to be.

an old saying don't polish a turd"

Much better to just be honest and upfront

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Always best to tell and be honest!

Nobody is too busy not to be nice!

Well said

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'd rather be honest just like I prefer people to be honest with me "

Me too

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Not that I get many "1st messages" but I would reply with a no thanks if I wasnt keen. Myst be harder for women to keep up with their messages though. Surprised you dont need a PA?!"

Shall I send you an application form :p

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By *ittlebitofpleasure100Couple
over a year ago

edinburgh

I used to say no thanks but due to further abuse, I now just ignore.

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By *tocking Fan 50Man
over a year ago

Perthshire/Fife

I prefer a 'no thanks' and there's then no doubt about your deleted message having been read, or deleted as a bulk job. I do however realise that ladies get swamped with messages, and can be open to abuse by people who can't accept a no thanks. Anyone I've chatted with will know I'll always say thanks and wish them the best.

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