FabSwingers.com forum: MEETS-SAFETY 4 WOMAN&MEN

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Like a lot of people on fab some of us like to keep it private and not tell everyone we know.

I am aware with meets you check the veris, chat and meet in a public place first time for a social and then decide from there.

What my point is for a safety purpose would you tell someone your meeting the person again if it is to fuck.

There is no guarantee with anything in life but onhere there is all sorts and from a single female it can be a bit scary at times.

So do you think you should tell someone else onhere that your meeting who ever it is just someone else knows your whereabouts.

I think this is when you need good fab friends is well the odd one or two you can fully trust

Anyway just wanted some feedback on this

Thank you x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Always meet socially first and foremost. For my own an for there protection.

We all started as a newbie once

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

yes i do to but afterwards i meant x thank u

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By *mmixtapeCouple
over a year ago

middle earth

I'd just be very upfront about it saying "can I get the address in advance so I can tell my friend where I'll be" should always be a perfectly fair thing to ask. In my opinion, if someone wasn't going to look out for my safety then I wouldn't do a private meet. Asking these questions, and communicating these requests is a fantastic way to out all the guys that are potentially horrible

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"yes i do to but afterwards i meant x thank u"
I no what you mean

Always look after your self when meeting some one on line.

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By *mmixtapeCouple
over a year ago

middle earth

Me and my partner while we have out faces on our profile and rely aren't bothered if we get caught do keep our sex lives very private, we aren't up for a kiss and tell all. But the people we meet have to go by a certain set of rules, if they can't follow the requests we make to keep ourselves safe then they aren't worth the time. I would always, 100%, recommend asking to meet in a place like cjs or after eights, because if something goes wrong you can get out

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By *unsexual MemelordWoman
over a year ago

Midlothian

"I'd just be very upfront about it saying "can I get the address in advance so I can tell my friend where I'll be" should always be a perfectly fair thing to ask. In my opinion, if someone wasn't going to look out for my safety then I wouldn't do a private meet. Asking these questions, and communicating these requests is a fantastic way to out all the guys that are potentially horrible "

Agreed. I wouldn't go to the home of a stranger, even after a social, without having the address to give to my husband so he knows where I'd be. He would be shown their face pic too. Anyone with any sense understands the potential safety issues, especially for single women, so if someone protests the idea of my (perfectly discreet) hubs knowing what they look like and where they are with me, it would sound an alarm bell. I have no problem with someone wanting to see my face and know my address if they are trusting me with their security.

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By *evilsAdvocate94Woman
over a year ago

edinburgh

I’m not going to go to the home of someone I’ve not met.

Always more than one social in very public places first, never go anywhere with someone on first meet, and never have anyone back to my home on first meet.

Guys don’t seem to get it though, still get the I’m free I could come to yours right now!!! When I’ve never even spoke to them before. I’ve had a lot of abuse from guys who don’t get that but I just use that as a filter and they get blocked.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

thank you for the replies it’s been helpful much appreciated xxx

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By *exicolaMan
over a year ago

West Lothian

At my work we have an app which is kinda like a start stop button. You hit it once when you go out on site (often to remote locations alone) and when you come back you hit it again to show you are back safe.

You can vary time limits it gives bit if you don't hit the button on the app within that limit then it contacts your line manager to let them know.

Not saying it would work in fab land, but something along those lines where you could sign up a friend or fellow fabber when you go on a meet to look out for you that way might be an idea for some.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get the sentiment...but, if after meeting someone socially in a public place to get a 'feel' for them you're still concerned about meeting them in a more intimate setting, then I don't know why anyone would go through with that

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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago

Paisley

I used to have friend that I’d tell where I was going and we’d have a code whereby I’d text back an odd number to show I was ok. I rarely go to a guy’s house though.

Recently a friend asked me to be their contact for a meet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My husband knows who I'm meeting and where always! Even if it's just a social.

As for play meets I usually prefare a hotel.papertrail with bookings ect.

Yes..you should ALWAYS tell someone who and where you are meeting.

My husband always gives a quick you ok txt for me to answer.

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By *sm265Woman
over a year ago

Shangri-la

"I’m not going to go to the home of someone I’ve not met.

Always more than one social in very public places first, never go anywhere with someone on first meet, and never have anyone back to my home on first meet.

Just about every day I get a message from guys along the lines of "I'll come to yours now" or "I'll pick you up for car sex". I no longer even reply, just block. But when I used to reply 9 times out of 10 they'd get verbally abusive about it & several would say that I shouldn't be on Fab if I'm not prepared to do these things ??

Of course when I explained my safety concerns they'd all assure me that they are nice guys & I would be perfectly safe... Because clearly they think rapists & murderers are upfront about being psychos.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A meet on here is no different for me than meeting someone through chatting up at a bar, or at work or in any other way we meet people why eventually become friends,

always a social meet and keeping in touch via messaging, facebook etc and allow the friendship to grow with equal respect

I would never expect a first meet to be invited to a females home of whom I have never met, you just never know what to expect, think the worst that could happen.

People should be a good judge of character and take time to establish trust and friendship before rushing in, would you really want to be involved and have sex with a stranger of whom you know nothing about!!! maybe I am different, as I dont.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Like a lot of people on fab some of us like to keep it private and not tell everyone we know.

I am aware with meets you check the veris, chat and meet in a public place first time for a social and then decide from there.

What my point is for a safety purpose would you tell someone your meeting the person again if it is to fuck.

There is no guarantee with anything in life but onhere there is all sorts and from a single female it can be a bit scary at times.

So do you think you should tell someone else onhere that your meeting who ever it is just someone else knows your whereabouts.

I think this is when you need good fab friends is well the odd one or two you can fully trust

Anyway just wanted some feedback on this

Thank you x"

Absolutely if you single and meeting alone, tell a fab friend better to be safe than sorry.

My fab friend does this with me as she is single and if she's going to meet someone new, she let's me know before and after and should anything happen during, all she has to do is call us and we will go get her. Better to be safe xx

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By *evilsAdvocate94Woman
over a year ago

edinburgh

"I’m not going to go to the home of someone I’ve not met.

Always more than one social in very public places first, never go anywhere with someone on first meet, and never have anyone back to my home on first meet.

Yip I just don’t know what they don’t understand, when I worked crazy shifts at work sometimes I’d come home and have a wee browse at fab late of an evening, one guy messaged me, more than once saying, I’m at location xyz, that seems to make us near by let’s go for a coffee!!!

now I don’t know if he was at it but there is nowhere near me that does coffee at that time of night/morning!!! And when I said I was not going out meeting random strangers in the dark at that time it was the “ohhh I’m a nice guy give me a chance”

EH NAW because I’m sure bloody psycho stalkers say they are nice guys all the time!!!

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By *assy LassieWoman
over a year ago

Lanarkshire

I have a friend off of fab who knows where I go when I have first meets. He texts. If I tell him everything is fine (actually code for phone and get me out of here) in case the meet can see what I'm texting for obvious reasons. he then phones with an "emergency" I have to go deal with.

Why I always have a social first. Any meets in someone's home their address is written down and left in a certain place at home and my pal knows I'm on a meet and where to find the address if needed. This keeps it discrete for all parties.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We all assume we're all a good judge of character but I'm sure we will all agree we do get it wrong sometimes. (Nobody is perfect) If I was a female I would definitely be telling a friend who and where I was going on the 1st 2nd or 3rd meet....

I've told a friend on some occasions and when I haven't iv told the person I'm meetng I have.

(In a Jovial manner)

Mental illness is rife these days, you can never be too careful.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have a friend off of fab who knows where I go when I have first meets. He texts. If I tell him everything is fine (actually code for phone and get me out of here) in case the meet can see what I'm texting for obvious reasons. he then phones with an "emergency" I have to go deal with.

What you text for code to get you out of there is a great idea, as you say the person could be watching

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We all assume we're all a good judge of character but I'm sure we will all agree we do get it wrong sometimes. (Nobody is perfect) If I was a female I would definitely be telling a friend who and where I was going on the 1st 2nd or 3rd meet....

I've told a friend on some occasions and when I haven't iv told the person I'm meetng I have.

(In a Jovial manner)

Mental illness is rife these days, you can never be too careful."

What do you perceive the threats to you are when you meet someone?

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By *assy LassieWoman
over a year ago

Lanarkshire

What you text for code to get you out of there is a great idea, as you say the person could be watching

Aye but just realised I've gave away my secret lol. Need a rethink.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've told a friend on some occasions and when I haven't iv told the person I'm meetng I have.

(In a Jovial manner)

Mental illness is rife these days, you can never be too careful.

What do you perceive the threats to you are when you meet someone?"

Woman can be just as bad as guys, I do not mean in the sense I think il be abused sexually.. but people can turn in a blink of an eye, woman aswell as guys.... Fortunately iv never felt threatened in any way to date

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By *hav02Man
over a year ago

Glasgow/London

[Removed by poster at 09/01/20 18:58:01]

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By *hav02Man
over a year ago

Glasgow/London

One of my good friends back in London shares her phone GPS location with me (via Google maps) whenever she's going on a date with a guy she doesn't know well. I'm also the "omg family emergency" get out of date guy too

Even as a single guy, I'm a little paranoid that the woman I'm meeting is just bait and then I'll have 3 Russian guys there to mug me and fuck me or something....

Safety/precautions is not a bad thing at all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've told a friend on some occasions and when I haven't iv told the person I'm meetng I have.

(In a Jovial manner)

Mental illness is rife these days, you can never be too careful.

What do you perceive the threats to you are when you meet someone?

Well what is it you think they'll do?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've told a friend on some occasions and when I haven't iv told the person I'm meetng I have.

(In a Jovial manner)

Mental illness is rife these days, you can never be too careful.

What do you perceive the threats to you are when you meet someone?

Well what is it you think they'll do?"
there's risks of being violently attacked or even being accused of something or as the last guy said... It could be a set up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've told a friend on some occasions and when I haven't iv told the person I'm meetng I have.

(In a Jovial manner)

Mental illness is rife these days, you can never be too careful.

What do you perceive the threats to you are when you meet someone?

Well what is it you think they'll do? there's risks of being violently attacked or even being accused of something or as the last guy said... It could be a set up"

Statistically, do you really think that's a possibility?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 09/01/20 19:58:08]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've told a friend on some occasions and when I haven't iv told the person I'm meetng I have.

(In a Jovial manner)

Mental illness is rife these days, you can never be too careful.

What do you perceive the threats to you are when you meet someone?

Well what is it you think they'll do? there's risks of being violently attacked or even being accused of something or as the last guy said... It could be a set up

Statistically, do you really think that's a possibility?"

Yes ofcorse it's a possibility. In swinging world and life in general these things happen all the time, r*pe, attacks,muggings, stalking, murder not everyone who seems sane and decent are. Alcohol in the mix can also change a person's behaviour, perceptions and strength . So better to be safe than sorry and have someone know where you are at all times.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've told a friend on some occasions and when I haven't iv told the person I'm meetng I have.

(In a Jovial manner)

Mental illness is rife these days, you can never be too careful.

What do you perceive the threats to you are when you meet someone?

Well what is it you think they'll do? there's risks of being violently attacked or even being accused of something or as the last guy said... It could be a set up

Statistically, do you really think that's a possibility?"

Statistically it will be woman on the recieving end no doubt about that.. but does that mean I don't need to be careful....

Here's an idea for you,

You be you and I will be me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've told a friend on some occasions and when I haven't iv told the person I'm meetng I have.

(In a Jovial manner)

Mental illness is rife these days, you can never be too careful.

What do you perceive the threats to you are when you meet someone?

Well what is it you think they'll do? there's risks of being violently attacked or even being accused of something or as the last guy said... It could be a set up

Statistically, do you really think that's a possibility?

A man isn't gonna get r*ped by a woman

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've told a friend on some occasions and when I haven't iv told the person I'm meetng I have.

(In a Jovial manner)

Mental illness is rife these days, you can never be too careful.

What do you perceive the threats to you are when you meet someone?

Well what is it you think they'll do? there's risks of being violently attacked or even being accused of something or as the last guy said... It could be a set up

Statistically, do you really think that's a possibility?

Statistically it will be woman on the recieving end no doubt about that.. but does that mean I don't need to be careful....

Here's an idea for you,

You be you and I will be me

Men can definitely be on the receiving end. Jealous husband /boyfriend who has no idea their Mrs is up to naughties and poor guy gets beating due to her lies.

Sure there was An article few months back about a swinging couple inviting a guy to their place, drinks flowed and both men got into serious fight and single guy was threatened with knife.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Statistically, these situations are highly unlikely

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By *acreadCouple
over a year ago

central scotland

Not true as it has happened before, don't ask me how this is possible as I don't know. There is also the possibility of a fake profile and instead of a woman a big bear of a man grabs you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've told a friend on some occasions and when I haven't iv told the person I'm meetng I have.

(In a Jovial manner)

Mental illness is rife these days, you can never be too careful.

What do you perceive the threats to you are when you meet someone?

Well what is it you think they'll do? there's risks of being violently attacked or even being accused of something or as the last guy said... It could be a set up

Statistically, do you really think that's a possibility?

A man isn't gonna get r*ped by a woman

That's a bold statement

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Think the safety and trust of both is paramount to any further meet .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A woman I've only met once will.always tell me when she's meeting and where and what profile , i.am her if I don't turn up in the morning guy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 09/01/20 20:55:42]

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By *assy LassieWoman
over a year ago

Lanarkshire

"Statistically, these situations are highly unlikely "

Maybe because people take precautions. I will stick to what I do and hopefully wont become a statistic.

Disclaimer* I've never felt threatened or had to use my back up plans but they are there for a reason

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've told a friend on some occasions and when I haven't iv told the person I'm meetng I have.

(In a Jovial manner)

Mental illness is rife these days, you can never be too careful."

The fuck?

I’ve had mental health issues for twenty years and I’m no threat to anyone. On fab or off.

Pretty straight shooter when it comes to what I’m looking for on here. Have never caused a meet harm or hassle.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've told a friend on some occasions and when I haven't iv told the person I'm meetng I have.

(In a Jovial manner)

Mental illness is rife these days, you can never be too careful.

The fuck?

I’ve had mental health issues for twenty years and I’m no threat to anyone. On fab or off.

Pretty straight shooter when it comes to what I’m looking for on here. Have never caused a meet harm or hassle.

I didn't mean everyone with mental health issues is a threat, I will choose my words more carefully in future. Sorry if my words offended you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've told a friend on some occasions and when I haven't iv told the person I'm meetng I have.

(In a Jovial manner)

Mental illness is rife these days, you can never be too careful.

The fuck?

I’ve had mental health issues for twenty years and I’m no threat to anyone. On fab or off.

Pretty straight shooter when it comes to what I’m looking for on here. Have never caused a meet harm or hassle.

I didn't mean everyone with mental health issues is a threat, I will choose my words more carefully in future. Sorry if my words offended you."

Didn’t offend me, takes a lot more than that to offend me!

But it just showed you up as throwing stigma and generalisations around.

Just watch your back as obv I’ll now be stalking you ready to attack with a large dildo. Just cause, you know, mental health issues.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've told a friend on some occasions and when I haven't iv told the person I'm meetng I have.

(In a Jovial manner)

Mental illness is rife these days, you can never be too careful.

The fuck?

I’ve had mental health issues for twenty years and I’m no threat to anyone. On fab or off.

Pretty straight shooter when it comes to what I’m looking for on here. Have never caused a meet harm or hassle.

I didn't mean everyone with mental health issues is a threat, I will choose my words more carefully in future. Sorry if my words offended you.

Didn’t offend me, takes a lot more than that to offend me!

But it just showed you up as throwing stigma and generalisations around.

Just watch your back as obv I’ll now be stalking you ready to attack with a large dildo. Just cause, you know, mental health issues. "

That's fair enough, I've brought it on myself

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By *ighlander80884Man
over a year ago

Inverness

You can also set up the likes of Gmail to send an email to specific addresses to be sent at a certain date time.

Draft an email to a friend with full details of who you are going to see and when. When you come back from your meet, delete the message so it isn't sent, if you don't come back, the message is sent.

Best of both worlds, your friends don't have to know about your Fab life, if something happens they have the details.

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By *ikerbob1957Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

Apart from the safety part of meeting in a public place first there is also the slight matter of what the person is actually like.

I'm on POF and have met a number of women who looked nothing like their photos. One had a photo of a nive looking redhead and reality was a little grey haired old lady.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Going to anyone's place, or even a hotel, is a risk but you can minimise it.

*Pass on the address to a friend, plus their contact details /picture and say it's a date.

*Check in with them via phone before, during and after

*Never get into their car

*Personal alarms

*Know your self defence moves

*Always listen to your intuition.

I've been sexually assaulted once here. I didn't listen to my blazing gut feeling and thought I'd take the risk. I wish I'd said yes to my military men beating him to a pulp.

As for non physical risks, I don't trust straight/bi women much at all. They'll fuck you over for the heteropatriarchy!

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By *arroness NikkiWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

"Like a lot of people on fab some of us like to keep it private and not tell everyone we know.

I am aware with meets you check the veris, chat and meet in a public place first time for a social and then decide from there.

What my point is for a safety purpose would you tell someone your meeting the person again if it is to fuck.

There is no guarantee with anything in life but onhere there is all sorts and from a single female it can be a bit scary at times.

So do you think you should tell someone else onhere that your meeting who ever it is just someone else knows your whereabouts.

I think this is when you need good fab friends is well the odd one or two you can fully trust

Anyway just wanted some feedback on this

Thank you x"

Majority of people I’ve met on here have been totally respectful. Ive never had to tell anyone else I’m meeting someone, I’ve never felt in any danger meeting anyone off here

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By *ighland gentlemanMan
over a year ago

Ardgay

"Statistically, these situations are highly unlikely "

They are unfortunately becoming more common, you just need to google dating sites and sexual assault to see multiple articles on the subject matter and the fact it is on the increase

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Statistically, these situations are highly unlikely

They are unfortunately becoming more common, you just need to google dating sites and sexual assault to see multiple articles on the subject matter and the fact it is on the increase"

They are still statistically very unlikely

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By *ighland gentlemanMan
over a year ago

Ardgay

They are still statistically very unlikely "

Perhaps, but it is increasing dramatically and that is just the reported incidents.

It does not just have to be a physical event. It surprises me how often friends on here hide profiles to prevent stalking type activities from other members.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They are still statistically very unlikely

Perhaps, but it is increasing dramatically and that is just the reported incidents.

It does not just have to be a physical event. It surprises me how often friends on here hide profiles to prevent stalking type activities from other members.

What do you mean by stalking type activities?

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By *esparate danMan
over a year ago

glasgow

"Statistically, these situations are highly unlikely

They are unfortunately becoming more common, you just need to google dating sites and sexual assault to see multiple articles on the subject matter and the fact it is on the increase"

Youd have refine those searches to get to articles about mmen being victims

Its overwhelmingly related to attacks on women

I suspect men are statistically more likely to be stood up or fleeced

Now that's not really going to affect you the rest of your life is it

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By *ighland gentlemanMan
over a year ago

Ardgay

They are still statistically very unlikely

Perhaps, but it is increasing dramatically and that is just the reported incidents.

It does not just have to be a physical event. It surprises me how often friends on here hide profiles to prevent stalking type activities from other members.

What do you mean by stalking type activities?"

As stated to me, not taking no, contacting in real life, not leaving alone, turning up at their work place

For starters

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By *arroness NikkiWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

"Statistically, these situations are highly unlikely

They are unfortunately becoming more common, you just need to google dating sites and sexual assault to see multiple articles on the subject matter and the fact it is on the increase

They are still statistically very unlikely "

Exactly it’s unlikely, but it can happen. Just use common sense when arranging meets x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They are still statistically very unlikely

Perhaps, but it is increasing dramatically and that is just the reported incidents.

It does not just have to be a physical event. It surprises me how often friends on here hide profiles to prevent stalking type activities from other members.

What do you mean by stalking type activities?

As stated to me, not taking no, contacting in real life, not leaving alone, turning up at their work place

For starters"

Is this from people they have met?

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By *ighland gentlemanMan
over a year ago

Ardgay

They are still statistically very unlikely

Perhaps, but it is increasing dramatically and that is just the reported incidents.

It does not just have to be a physical event. It surprises me how often friends on here hide profiles to prevent stalking type activities from other members.

What do you mean by stalking type activities?

As stated to me, not taking no, contacting in real life, not leaving alone, turning up at their work place

For starters

Is this from people they have met?"

At least 2 have said so, yes.

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By *ighland gentlemanMan
over a year ago

Ardgay

Youd have refine those searches to get to articles about mmen being victims

Its overwhelmingly related to attacks on women

I suspect men are statistically more likely to be stood up or fleeced

Now that's not really going to affect you the rest of your life is it "

A popular dating site for men is frequently mentioned so I suspect men are victims.

And given the number of messages one can receive from "straight" men on here, there is obviously a fair amount of manlove going on.

And is such a man likely to report an incident?

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By *esparate danMan
over a year ago

glasgow

Youd have refine those searches to get to articles about mmen being victims

Its overwhelmingly related to attacks on women

I suspect men are statistically more likely to be stood up or fleeced

Now that's not really going to affect you the rest of your life is it

A popular dating site for men is frequently mentioned so I suspect men are victims.

And given the number of messages one can receive from "straight" men on here, there is obviously a fair amount of manlove going on.

And is such a man likely to report an incident?"

My bad

I thought the implication here was that more women are becoming perpetrators

But you're right .. man on man violence is a danger to the have a go heroes who just want a tug job

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By *ola cubesMan
over a year ago

coatbridge

Here's part of the problem the stigma of a man being abused by females news flash it does happen and has been on the increase for yrs.

I don't buy into that thought pattern of ugg me big strong man and feeble woman females can and are aggressive when it suits them.

Everyone needs to look at their safety in equal measure

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Homophobic violence is sadly real.

I've heard of a few dodgy situations where guys have turned up at a place only to run the hell away (meets with women/couples) They seemed to ignore the early warning signs due to the mirage of a hot kinky liberated woman.

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