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Favourite pure Scottish retort.

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By *uietbloke67 OP   Man
over a year ago

outside your bedroom window ;-)

Your favourite Scottish retort in a slagging match...what is it?

To set them theme.

Naw ye urney (from the Still Game sketch)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sniff sniff...you smell.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Away bile yir heed

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By *he Regina PhalangeWoman
over a year ago

Lanarkshire

At the minute it is ...

Gerrit roun ye or gerritupye

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Get tae fuck ya weee bawbag - classic

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The real Scottish people, from up north as I call them don't talk like that, only the Glaswegians x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ya gobshite

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By *lue4youCouple
over a year ago

Lanarkshire

Aye right Pal (meaning not a chance and probably not even a friend). Once used on a Londoner who had no idea what meant by it. xx

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By *he Regina PhalangeWoman
over a year ago

Lanarkshire


"Ya gobshite"

I’ve never used that in my puff!

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By *he Regina PhalangeWoman
over a year ago

Lanarkshire


"Aye right Pal (meaning not a chance and probably not even a friend). Once used on a Londoner who had no idea what meant by it. xx "

It’s funny how pal can mean foe in that context, however ‘ya cunt’ is a friendly term and if often said with affection.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Did ye fuck!"

Usually uttered by my wee Da at the tele, reading the paper and in the pub.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Aye right Pal (meaning not a chance and probably not even a friend). Once used on a Londoner who had no idea what meant by it. xx

It’s funny how pal can mean foe in that context, however ‘ya cunt’ is a friendly term and if often said with affection. "

I like your name

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By *he Regina PhalangeWoman
over a year ago

Lanarkshire


""Did ye fuck!"

Usually uttered by my wee Da at the tele, reading the paper and in the pub. "

I say this too. Often to my kids when they say they’ve tidied their rooms!

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By *he Regina PhalangeWoman
over a year ago

Lanarkshire


"Aye right Pal (meaning not a chance and probably not even a friend). Once used on a Londoner who had no idea what meant by it. xx

It’s funny how pal can mean foe in that context, however ‘ya cunt’ is a friendly term and if often said with affection.

I like your name "

Why, thank you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ya fanny!

Or

Ya fud!

I get called both them ALL the time

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By *he Regina PhalangeWoman
over a year ago

Lanarkshire


"Ya fanny!

Or

Ya fud!

I get called both them ALL the time "

Never!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"At the minute it is ...

Gerrit roun ye or gerritupye "

I say gerritupye a lot

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ya gobshite

I’ve never used that in my puff!"

But i bet it's been used about you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


""Did ye fuck? "

Usually followed by, "it would have been rude not to" "

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By *he Regina PhalangeWoman
over a year ago

Lanarkshire


"Ya gobshite

I’ve never used that in my puff!

But i bet it's been used about you. "

No chance, I’m quiet!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ya gobshite

I’ve never used that in my puff!

But i bet it's been used about you.

No chance, I’m quiet! "

That made me spit my tea out.

I hate wasting tea.

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By *he Regina PhalangeWoman
over a year ago

Lanarkshire


"Ya gobshite

I’ve never used that in my puff!

But i bet it's been used about you.

No chance, I’m quiet!

That made me spit my tea out.

I hate wasting tea. "

We’ll learn to hold it all in your mouth until you swallow!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's not a retort but said in our hoose often... Jesus Suffering Christ... been said more recently due to the impending election

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ya gobshite

I’ve never used that in my puff!

But i bet it's been used about you.

No chance, I’m quiet!

That made me spit my tea out.

I hate wasting tea.

We’ll learn to hold it all in your mouth until you swallow!"

Maybe you could demonstrate for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Seems to be an east coast west coast divide, we seem to be more about the away te than the get te

Away te fuck! Instead of the get te fuck!

Although as a retort i dont think anything is more universally acknowledged than a solid Fuck Off as The Big Yin once said you could be at an airport in the middle of no where, where there is no concept of english someone starts messing about with your bags, give them a fuck off and off they will fuck cause its known the world over

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By *he Regina PhalangeWoman
over a year ago

Lanarkshire


"Ya gobshite

I’ve never used that in my puff!

But i bet it's been used about you.

No chance, I’m quiet!

That made me spit my tea out.

I hate wasting tea.

We’ll learn to hold it all in your mouth until you swallow!

Maybe you could demonstrate for me. "

Wait and I’ll boil the kettle!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ya gobshite

I’ve never used that in my puff!

But i bet it's been used about you.

No chance, I’m quiet!

That made me spit my tea out.

I hate wasting tea.

We’ll learn to hold it all in your mouth until you swallow!

Maybe you could demonstrate for me.

Wait and I’ll boil the kettle! "

Or. Wait five minutes and I'll arrive when it's boiled.

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By *he Regina PhalangeWoman
over a year ago

Lanarkshire


"Ya gobshite

I’ve never used that in my puff!

But i bet it's been used about you.

No chance, I’m quiet!

That made me spit my tea out.

I hate wasting tea.

We’ll learn to hold it all in your mouth until you swallow!

Maybe you could demonstrate for me.

Wait and I’ll boil the kettle!

Or. Wait five minutes and I'll arrive when it's boiled. "

Aye, that’ll be right!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Ya gobshite

I’ve never used that in my puff!

But i bet it's been used about you.

No chance, I’m quiet!

That made me spit my tea out.

I hate wasting tea.

We’ll learn to hold it all in your mouth until you swallow!

Maybe you could demonstrate for me.

Wait and I’ll boil the kettle!

Or. Wait five minutes and I'll arrive when it's boiled.

Aye, that’ll be right!

"

Another great Scottish retort.. Meaning, "yer on tae plums, arse wipe"

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By *punkyMcFuckKnuckleMan
over a year ago

Glasvegas/Kilmarnock

That's pure shite fae you.

It can be accessorised with multiple other Scottish phrases such as

Haw ya wee fanny that's pure shite fae you. And

That's pure shite fae you ya dick.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How good is glesga patter. Absolutely no other cunt in scotland (possibly the world) is anywhere near as funny as us. True story!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How good is glesga patter. Absolutely no other cunt in scotland (possibly the world) is anywhere near as funny as us. True story! "

Fuxk up bawbag away play with the buses

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How good is glesga patter. Absolutely no other cunt in scotland (possibly the world) is anywhere near as funny as us. True story!

Fuxk up bawbag away play with the buses"

Yer da sells Avon

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"How good is glesga patter. Absolutely no other cunt in scotland (possibly the world) is anywhere near as funny as us. True story!

Fuxk up bawbag away play with the buses

Yer da sells Avon "

Ma maw sells avon. (the reply) "naw she disnae shes a durty whoor".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My all time favourite is yer da sells Avon haha

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By *sm265Woman
over a year ago

Shangri-la

Get tae fuck

Did ye fuck

Awa an fuck yersel

Fer fuck sake

....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yer maw punts council.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yer maw punts council. "

Yet naw punts her fanny fur a cargo

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By *ogostick72Man
over a year ago

Scotland

Did ye - aye

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By *assy LassieWoman
over a year ago

Lanarkshire

[Removed by poster at 09/12/19 23:53:00]

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By *assy LassieWoman
over a year ago

Lanarkshire


"How good is glesga patter. Absolutely no other cunt in scotland (possibly the world) is anywhere near as funny as us. True story!

Fuxk up bawbag away play with the buses

Yer da sells Avon "

And yer maw deals cooncil

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Gies peace !!

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By *agluvrMan
over a year ago

Airdrie


"Seems to be an east coast west coast divide, we seem to be more about the away te than the get te

Away te fuck! Instead of the get te fuck!

Although as a retort i dont think anything is more universally acknowledged than a solid Fuck Off as The Big Yin once said you could be at an airport in the middle of no where, where there is no concept of english someone starts messing about with your bags, give them a fuck off and off they will fuck cause its known the world over "

And to paraphrase the great Malcolm Tucker: fuck off. And when you get there, fuck off from there too!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Your favourite Scottish retort in a slagging match...what is it?

To set them theme.

Naw ye urney (from the Still Game sketch)"
I smell shite.

Pish,

Ya fanny,

Gonna no dae that

Ya numpty,

Ya wee prick

Use them all. Down with the lingo

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"At the minute it is ...

Gerrit roun ye or gerritupye "

get it right up ye. I use this when I'm winning or proved right .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fuck right aff.

Ya fuckin walloper.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Fuck right aff.

Ya fuckin walloper. "
I'm enjoying this thread. Not heard ya walloper for ages . Haha

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By *ude bhoy 300Man
over a year ago

east kilbride

Hope aw yer weans have red hair an walk backwards

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can’t read, I can’t write and it doesn’t even matter, because I’m from Aberdeen And I can drive a tractor

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sheep shagging bastard.. lol.

Sorry man.

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By *acamanCouple
over a year ago

aberdeen

Haw fannybaws

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Sheep shagging bastard.. lol.

Sorry man. "

Dundee-Scumdee lol

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By *sm265Woman
over a year ago

Shangri-la

Haud yer wheesht

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m so proud to be Scottish love all you mad fuckers

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By *tormin1875Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Ma Baws

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Shut it or ill pump yer maw.

(from my school days) haha.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think mine would be 'did ye aye' or 'away to fuck' lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just used this. Had to laugh , im pretty sure it's only the Scottish that do this. When someone does something stupid and you respond with Bow!!! . Tongue pressing out at your chin bottom lip . Lol

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By *randmissdemeanourMan
over a year ago

glasgow

Did ye?.... Aye!!

Or wheesht yer geggie

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By *sm265Woman
over a year ago

Shangri-la

I've found myself using "are you trying to teach yer granny to suck eggs?" & "do you reckon I came up the Clyde in a banana boat?" recently. Both things my granny said. I must have reached "that" age

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By *illnatMan
over a year ago

wherever i need to be

Go boil yer heid!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Get tae fuck ya fanny

Bite ma smelly shite

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Jings!

Help ma boab!

Loved the Broons and oor wullie lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hinking yer a ticket!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hinking yer a ticket!"

lol. Belter.

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By *entralscotscpl7Couple
over a year ago

Falkirk

Being from "Saff Landan" and married to a Scotsman I've used some horrendous insults against my English friends which have been totally wasted.

My kids talk with just off Yorkshire accents however their fathers dialect shows through often enough with words like-

Aye, Ken, Erse, Bawbag, Tube and my sons favourite Honkin Baws.

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By *maigheo1Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Fuck you ya dobber and get yer kisser aroond ma pisser.

Pish flaps like a margarita pizza

Bet yer pussys drippin like a knackered fridge

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By *lyingscotsman696Man
over a year ago

Newbridge

Taxi furra fanny

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By *ewspinMan
over a year ago

Aberdeen

Smell yir ma! lol

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