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Unwell and need some jokes!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

So I'm missing CJs tonight (yey for being loaded with the cold)

So to cheer me and anyone else up who's having a rubbish time tonight drop a joke or bad chat up line

I will start

Why does the Norwegian navy have barcodes printed on the sides of their ships?

So when they come into dock they can

Scandinavian!....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lol did you hear about the chameleon that couldn’t change colour? He had a reptile dysfunction

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Lol did you hear about the chameleon that couldn’t change colour? He had a reptile dysfunction "

What did the grape say when the iguana stepped on it?

Nothing it just let out a little wine

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Lol did you hear about the chameleon that couldn’t change colour? He had a reptile dysfunction

What did the grape say when the iguana stepped on it?

Nothing it just let out a little wine "

I told my girlfriend she was drawing her eyebrows too high... she looked surprised

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Lol did you hear about the chameleon that couldn’t change colour? He had a reptile dysfunction

What did the grape say when the iguana stepped on it?

Nothing it just let out a little wine

I told my girlfriend she was drawing her eyebrows too high... she looked surprised "

Ok that one gave me a chuckle.

How do you make holy water?

Boil the hell out of it!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What did one snowman say to the other snowman?

Do you smell carrots?

Merry Christmas

You're welcome

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 03/11/19 00:08:09]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

2 dyslexics standing in a kitchen. One turns round, here can you smell gas?.. Mate I canne even smell my name

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By *tormin1875Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Was at a strange christening the other week.

The baby had lager poured over it's head.

Apparently it was fostered.

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By *itznBobz2018Couple
over a year ago

edinburgh

A practical joke to try

If you don’t have kids hire a baby sitter anyway. Tell them the kids are sleeping and not to go in there room

When you return from the pub go upstairs and shout down where the hell are the kids

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What do you call...

A man with a spade on his head?

Doug.

Without a spade?

Douglas.

A deer with no eyes?

No idea.

A deer with no eyes and no legs?

Still no idea.

A pig with 3 eyes?

A piiig.

A fish with no eyes?

A fsh.

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By *ikilovesCCouple
over a year ago

village life, closest main town inverness

What time did Sean Connery arrive at Wimbledon ?

Tennish.......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's brown and quacks

donald mince

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What's brown and quacks

donald mince

"

This actually made me laugh. The crap jokes are the best

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

These have all been amazing!!

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