FabSwingers.com forum: Fat Shaming

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

....right....keep it civil first of all!

Watching breakfast tele this morning, saw a guy being interviewed who was obese and has lost half his body weight. He was basically banned from entering any take away or fast food place in his town and "fat shamed" into losing weight.

Thoughts? Is a cold, hard boot up the arse the best solution or is this over looking the real reason some people find themselves over weight.

I personally think it's not a one shoe fits all kinda scenario and whilst some may respond well to being shamed, others will understandably feel even worse about themselves.

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By *eefyBangerMan
over a year ago

edinburgh

If somebody wants to eat what they want then they can eat what they want. If I could get away with eating pizzas, chippys and double bacon XL’s from Burger King day in day out then I’d sure as fuck be taking advantage of it!

I’m one of these unfortunate fuckers though who has to maintain an active lifestyle as I only have to smell a fish supper and I put a couple of lbs on

Live and let live as far as I’m concerned

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By *aledonianDoranMan
over a year ago

fife

I'll do the boring bit, his health has to suffer from being that big, but there are nice ways to help someone look after themselves! He might have mental health issues, but the care he would possibly need could be costly, does he work? How does he afford all the food he must consume, if he doesn't then it's benefits, how much does that cost the tax payer, if it's a medical condition then he needs help, if it's not then he needs to sort himself out with whatever help he can get.

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By *eiaorganaWoman
over a year ago

Dundee

I wish society would understand that someone else's weight is nothing to do with them.

There are many reasons for weight gain that don't relate to eating too much and not moving enough, and their opinion is unasked for and unwanted. And if their weight is to do with their diet, so what? How does that impact anyone else, especially complete strangers?

Conversely, telling slim people to eat more isn't helpful either, some simply just may not be able to put on weight due to natural metabolism, or it could be a diet issue. Again, no one's business but theirs.

There's far too much shaming of people on a daily basis as it is, whether its weight or something else. At the end of the day, everyone else should just mind their own.

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By *ola cubesMan
over a year ago

coatbridge

Its definitely not helpful pretending that it's good it is their choice though.

Its part of the nothing nice to say say nothing brigades fault they give vulnerable folk false hope whether that be through beauty health or perspective.

Alot of obese folk claim I'm big boned or some other nonsense thing. no it's your eating habits there are a tiny % that this is true but for most its diet and exercises fault.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was fat as a kid up till age of 16 at that point I began to do something. I had a tough time through some of my school years. It wasnt till I left school that the presure, remarks, looks and general belittling went and I then found myself and put in the homework on diet and training.

Over the years I've seen various people who mocked me. Some look in shock others pay compliment. But the best thing is alot off them now look like a bag of shit....

My take on people who carry too much weight is this.

Theres a catalogue of possible reasons for it, dont mock them complain about all the negatives. Give them help, motivation, education, and support to get them into a positive mindset.

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By *eep.Man
over a year ago

Just a background character

Another misbelief is that they are only harming themselves. The extra healthcare costs they will encur in later life are borne by society as a whole.

So their potentially avoidable treatments will come at a sacrifice of other perhaps unavoidable treatments, waiting lists, you get the picture.

The NHS will not be around forever either, that is a stark reality in the not too distant future.

So what is the answer? Not public shaming. But there is only so much the government can do via things like sugar tax and eductation. At least primary schol kids are being taught about food. Prob all goes out the window when many get home though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fat shaming is not cool!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Unless the guy specifically told the takeaways not to serve him it really is fat shaming and bullying.

Would these same premises not serve the local jakes because it's doing them harm?

I think not.

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By *dmirationMan
over a year ago

Bathgate

I was put on medication that has slowed my metabolism right down so even going to the gym wont loose I don't eat a lot I am active I don't drink and I don't fill my self with junk food or sweets etc. I suffers a heart attack and after this I put on weight and yes I am seeking help for it as I really do hate myself and often think about stop the medication so I can go back to normal. I wont be the only one out their in this situation...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Any kind of body shaming is bullying. Fat, thin, obese, skeletal, it's no one else's business. Also, not all fat people are unwell!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We live in a world where people want to constantly shame others and they use oh it's for their own good as justification too often .

If I want to remain the size I am and learn to love it then that should be fine

If I want to loose 3 stone to feel better about myself then that should be too

And if I've had a shitty day and want to face plant cakes , Chinese takeaway and ice cream then that's ok too. I don't need someone reminding me I'll not loose weight, I'll get fatter or trying to make me feel guilty.

I'm all for people leading healthy active lifestyles and making changes because they choose to and yes it's a huge achievement to drop lots of lbs.

However I hate that they couple this with the assumption you had to hate yourself before.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a friend in her early fifties who is almost wheelchair bound due to rheumatoid and ostero arthritis. She is heavily overweight but a mixture of being incapable of doing much exercise and the medication means it's just crept up over the years. Yes she probably does overeat a bit and some of the wrong things but most of us can work that off, she can't. There's the effect on mood too as I'm sure some days it just gets her down. No one should fat shame, being thin does not mean you're happy.

Wondering though Mrs D, the guy you're talking about, does he live in a small town where everyone knows each other or perhaps the people in these shops know him well now and care about him and it's tough love - they maybe even offer him support if you see what I mean????

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 08/10/19 13:08:14]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well it didn't work for me my ex fat shamed me all the time and I just got bigger to the point where walking was an issue.

Lost a fair bit since then thankfully but maybe tough love works on some people

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm a fat bastard!!!

Saves anyone else shaming me lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I have a friend in her early fifties who is almost wheelchair bound due to rheumatoid and ostero arthritis. She is heavily overweight but a mixture of being incapable of doing much exercise and the medication means it's just crept up over the years. Yes she probably does overeat a bit and some of the wrong things but most of us can work that off, she can't. There's the effect on mood too as I'm sure some days it just gets her down. No one should fat shame, being thin does not mean you're happy.

Think it was a fairly small town. The guy seemed very happy from the little I saw, so in his case it obviously worked out for the best.

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By *aledonianDoranMan
over a year ago

fife

"Unless the guy specifically told the takeaways not to serve him it really is fat shaming and bullying.

Would these same premises not serve the local jakes because it's doing them harm?

I think not."

Not sure what the jakes comment has to do with eating takeaways

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By *vbride1963TV/TS
over a year ago

E.K . Glasgow

"Unless the guy specifically told the takeaways not to serve him it really is fat shaming and bullying.

Would these same premises not serve the local jakes because it's doing them harm?

I think not.

Not sure what the jakes comment has to do with eating takeaways

I’ve seen some towns where those that gamble to much can choose to be banned from the bookies of the town . If it’s their choice to be banned fine if it’s imposed by health professionals fair enough forced by others wouldn’t be fair really . ( I wouldn’t like to be forced to stop dressing )

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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago

Paisley

And then you come on here and get complimented for having a big arse and thighs when personally I’m struggling to lose weight.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"And then you come on here and get complimented for having a big arse and thighs when personally I’m struggling to lose weight.

Can't win, eh?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm always eating shite food

Anyway, being chunky or shredded means nothing if their bants are shit!!

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By *vbride1963TV/TS
over a year ago

E.K . Glasgow

"And then you come on here and get complimented for having a big arse and thighs when personally I’m struggling to lose weight.

Sudden onslaught of messages to your inbox with offers to help you burn some calories ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Unless the guy specifically told the takeaways not to serve him it really is fat shaming and bullying.

Would these same premises not serve the local jakes because it's doing them harm?

I think not.

Not sure what the jakes comment has to do with eating takeaways

but on the same vein, pubs are told not to serve someone if they are visibly too d*unk! So is it not the same that if someone is clinical obese, surely the takeaway has to say sorry pal but you're not getting the 4 king rib suppers!"
off licences supermarkets then surely have that same obligation then not to serve any alcoholics then..that was my point.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm always eating shite food

Anyway, being chunky or shredded means nothing if their bants are shit!!"
agreed! Could be God's gift to men/women but if your patter is pants youv no chance!

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By *ary_ArgyllMan
over a year ago

Argyll

Studies I've read about show clear trend for increased numbers of takeaway shops in poorer areas so there is definitely some sort of link/pressure issue there - could planning laws be used to try and encourage the availability of healthier eating choices in all neighbourhoods?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm always eating shite food

Anyway, being chunky or shredded means nothing if their bants are shit!! agreed! Could be God's gift to men/women but if your patter is pants youv no chance!

You know the score Oldie!

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By *aledonianDoranMan
over a year ago

fife

"Unless the guy specifically told the takeaways not to serve him it really is fat shaming and bullying.

Would these same premises not serve the local jakes because it's doing them harm?

I think not.

Not sure what the jakes comment has to do with eating takeaways

but on the same vein, pubs are told not to serve someone if they are visibly too d*unk! So is it not the same that if someone is clinical obese, surely the takeaway has to say sorry pal but you're not getting the 4 king rib suppers!off licences supermarkets then surely have that same obligation then not to serve any alcoholics then..that was my point.

I read it that your local chippy/Chinese takeaways were going to tell the jakes that they're no getting a supper because they're oot thur faces

But yes I agree off licences etc shouldn't serve the jakes, unfortunately they'll just do what I did when I was 14 and get a grown up to get it

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'm always eating shite food

Anyway, being chunky or shredded means nothing if their bants are shit!!"

You must have worms then!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm always eating shite food

Anyway, being chunky or shredded means nothing if their bants are shit!!

You must have worms then!

You're lucky a fancy you Doggie

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

A very good friend of mine was very overweight and very unhappy. She paid alot of money for a gastric band to be fitted which made her lose 11stone but left her even more unhappy as she was covered in loose skin. She has now paid £1000s more to begin to get this removed. I still do not think she is happy but certainly alot healthier and more active.

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By *uietbloke67Man
over a year ago

outside your bedroom window ;-)

Anything that involves the word Shaming is counter productive in my world.

We live in a country where food and shite food is sold as comfort for the mind and soul...then when someone does overindulge we judge.

A product of a easy money driven system

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By *assy LassieWoman
over a year ago

Lanarkshire

I watched this too. A personal trainer basically helps one person a year for free and this guy was the person he chose to help. They both agreed that leaflets would be put up in all the takeaways to stop him going in. It was all part of the support he was getting and he was happy for this. Said he is waiting on a date for op to get the loose skin removed and they reckon that will be another 4 stone of weight gone.

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By *uitar_antiheroMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

Clearly there are different reasons for someone being obese, sometimes not their fault, sometimes it is, sometimes it’s a mixture of both. I really think it should be a personal decision. I fat shamed myself by looking at photos of myself when I’d put on too much weight. I thought I looked horrible so I started to try & lose some weight. I’ll never be ripped or covered in muscle, but I already feel more comfortable in my clothes & that’s all I really wanted.

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By *ibblingnewtWoman
over a year ago

by the sea

"....right....keep it civil first of all!

Thoughts? Is a cold, hard boot up the arse the best solution or is this over looking the real reason some people find themselves over weight.

I personally think it's not a one shoe fits all kinda scenario and whilst some may respond well to being shamed, others will understandably feel even worse about themselves. "

I don’t think anyone’s going to respond well to shaming

The worlds changing so much and so much food is available to us now and many people go well over the top but we need to do something to help people that are at a crisis point now

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By *antra MassageMan
over a year ago

city

When you say fatshaming.. I wonder did he feel ashamed? Or did he feel that people were giving him tough love? He lost weight. So, it worked. Success.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ve had countless people on here send me abuse about my body I don’t think it’s acceptable to shame anyone on anything in life but that’s the way of the world these days. Society are more verbal on overweight people than underweight people and it’s become “acceptable”to an extent.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fat shaming is just wrong. As a society we should be doing our best to support people.

With regards to the role of the government and NHS in this, I would go back to the old saying "an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure"

The reasons why people are overweight are numerous and no one approach will help everyone.

Being someone who is going through weight loss at the moment, it isn't easy and I have tackled it with changing my eating habits, exercise, counselling and even hypntherapy.

It's all about find what works for you. It's a complicated subject, I think the idea of regular meal times doesn't help. I know eat when I'm hungry not because it's diner timer or tea time and of course I eat something fun now and again (no oral sex joke please), but in moderation.

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By *izzabelle and well hungCouple
over a year ago

Edinburgh.

If you want to be fat that’s up to you. But if you are 20+ stone and banging down 5000+ calories a day you should be forced to pay £500 a month in private health insurance. Smoking incurs massive taxation, I don’t see why overeating should escape.

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By *hatsmynameagainCouple
over a year ago

Ayrshire

Speaking personally Id love it if this happened to me, I keep trying to lose weight but give in to temptation far to easily.

But in this case it was wrong.

Shaming someone is wrong, But I think that there is a diffrence between shaming and trying to support someone. But getting that right sometimes can be tricky.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Speaking personally Id love it if this happened to me, I keep trying to lose weight but give in to temptation far to easily.

But in this case it was wrong.

Shaming someone is wrong, But I think that there is a diffrence between shaming and trying to support someone. But getting that right sometimes can be tricky.

The guy in question agreed to it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've been losing weight slowly I'm between 17.5 and 18 stone, I'll admit I caused a lot of my issues by working night-shift and boredom eating but I'm getting there.

I wasn't shamed as such but I had a relationship where I was told I was unattractive and nobody would want me.

Past photos are what shames me I can't even look at them because of how big I was even though people thought I was cute I still hate myself from then and can't believe I weighed 25 stone at one time

I do need a new wardrobe though lol too many clothes falling off me now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've been losing weight slowly I'm between 17.5 and 18 stone, I'll admit I caused a lot of my issues by working night-shift and boredom eating but I'm getting there.

I wasn't shamed as such but I had a relationship where I was told I was unattractive and nobody would want me.

Past photos are what shames me I can't even look at them because of how big I was even though people thought I was cute I still hate myself from then and can't believe I weighed 25 stone at one time

I do need a new wardrobe though lol too many clothes falling off me now. "

Well done on your weight loss... amazing results

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I've been losing weight slowly I'm between 17.5 and 18 stone, I'll admit I caused a lot of my issues by working night-shift and boredom eating but I'm getting there.

I wasn't shamed as such but I had a relationship where I was told I was unattractive and nobody would want me.

Past photos are what shames me I can't even look at them because of how big I was even though people thought I was cute I still hate myself from then and can't believe I weighed 25 stone at one time

I do need a new wardrobe though lol too many clothes falling off me now. "

Well done

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think losing weight is the message to push. Losing weight is easy, you stop eating. We should be encouraging healthy lifestyles, whole foods, fruit n veg etc.

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

"I don't think losing weight is the message to push. Losing weight is easy, you stop eating. We should be encouraging healthy lifestyles, whole foods, fruit n veg etc. "

Agree. Diets are only a short term fix

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By *adbury girlWoman
over a year ago

Lanarkshire

"I don't think losing weight is the message to push. Losing weight is easy, you stop eating. We should be encouraging healthy lifestyles, whole foods, fruit n veg etc.

Agree. Diets are only a short term fix"

Definitely has to be a lifestyle choice to have long term effects

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Whats ur thoughts on government banning eating snacks in public places. Im sure if im on the train i will be pulling out my Mars Bar to satisfy my hunger

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't think losing weight is the message to push. Losing weight is easy, you stop eating. We should be encouraging healthy lifestyles, whole foods, fruit n veg etc.

Agree. Diets are only a short term fix"

thats all well and good but a lot of people are like me and hate fruit n veg, I found that cutting down on snacks and drinking sugar free drinks helped a lot, I haven't had a takeaway for about 4 weeks and even that is now a special treat.

something that a lot of people seem to do is confuse hunger for thirst, I started having a drink when I felt those hunger pangs and most of the time it has done the trick

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't particularly like spinach but I still blend that shit up in a shake and drink jt. Also, I find it hard to believe that out of all the fruits and vegetables there are none that you like. Sweet potato for instance, how can anyone not like sweet potato lol.

I agree with your other points, water certainly can curb cravings.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Whats ur thoughts on government banning eating snacks in public places. Im sure if im on the train i will be pulling out my Mars Bar to satisfy my hunger

If it prevents people leaving their trash at their asses I'm all for it.

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By *ola cubesMan
over a year ago

coatbridge

"Whats ur thoughts on government banning eating snacks in public places. Im sure if im on the train i will be pulling out my Mars Bar to satisfy my hunger

If it prevents people leaving their trash at their asses I'm all for it. "
yup I think the govt should just control our lives from cradle to grave it amazes me fought hard for freedoms to have anything and everything stripped away in favour of the overlords bidding

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People should allowed to look and do as the please if they want to be tgat waybthen that is their right as a human being

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

I am still pretty pissed off that McDonalds stopped selling toffee sundaes due to high sugar content.

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By *ola cubesMan
over a year ago

coatbridge

"I am still pretty pissed off that McDonalds stopped selling toffee sundaes due to high sugar content. "
if 20 yes ago someone said there will be a tax if you chose to have sugar it would have been laughed about with claims of that would never happen where did we go wrong.....my opinion we forgot the govt do our bidding not the govt rules us

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By *adbury girlWoman
over a year ago

Lanarkshire

"I am still pretty pissed off that McDonalds stopped selling toffee sundaes due to high sugar content. "

Ha ha my son and I were pissed off to as it was the only ice cream we bought from there!

Apparently the profit wasn’t enough for them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some of the healthiest fittest folk I know are classed as morbidly obese, I think it takes a massive amount of physical and mental strength to get up and drag around potentially an extra body every day, I know plenty of slim folk couldn’t run for a bus etc if someone’s weight is affecting them to the point where it’s affecting their health then i gentle nudge can be a good thing but if otherwise they are healthy active and don’t hVe any issues then leave them well

Alone. Friends who drink too much alcohol I’m

More inclined to comment on their drinking habits

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As a fat bird, body shaming annoys me. I've been bigger than I am now (size 24) and hated myself. So I lost 7 stone, got down to a size 14/16 (sometimes an odd 12) went to the gym 3 times a week and was miserable and still hated myself. It was just a whole other set of issues.

I've now put a fair amount of that weight back on, am a size 18/20 and while some days I think I should lose weight again , for the most part I'm happy within myself.

I'm 41 and I've spend all my teenage and adult life consumed with worrying about my weight and I'm over it.

Yes I'm overweight, yes I eat the wrong foods but equally eat foods that are good for me, and yes I drink more alcohol than I should.

But I walk almost everywhere I go and while I can't run the length of myself, I am reasonably fit.

I'm not here to impress anyone and you take you as you find me. I just wish I hadn't wasted so much of my life worrying about trying to conform to what society says I should be.

And if it's not body shaming, it's shaming of some other kind

L x

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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago

Paisley

"And then you come on here and get complimented for having a big arse and thighs when personally I’m struggling to lose weight.

Sudden onslaught of messages to your inbox with offers to help you burn some calories ?

Nope not one offer.

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By *eoeclipseWoman
over a year ago

glasgow

It's about being health around, mentally, physically & internally.

Doctors have little time/money to do investigating into the true cause & treat the symptoms instead with synthetic medication.

I've had to investigate physical symptoms, discovered various vitamin/mineral deficiencies that could cause, suggest to doc & reasons why, test & treat accordingly. 9/10 I'm right. Cheaper, maintainable through diet & exercise plus less internal side affects long term.

Doesn't work for all issues but skeleton, cartilage & muscle issue improve with exercise.

Everyone need external help to change destructive habits at times, seems harsh at time but appreciated in the long term.

You ever seen an addict go cold turkey? Nasty nasty stuff & external help is a must.

Mental health have psych hospitals.

Nothing is any different in the extreme.

Tip: your "I'm too small" pair of non stretch jeans, a "I'm too big" pair non stretch jeans, commit to appropriate change when reached.. do what you like in between.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

no one has the right to body shame anyone. some people always struggle with weight and some others that are lucky enough not to. my brother is over weight and has health problems and his girlfriend is a size 10 an diabetic. so it is not always the over weight that have health problems

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've been losing weight slowly I'm between 17.5 and 18 stone, I'll admit I caused a lot of my issues by working night-shift and boredom eating but I'm getting there.

I wasn't shamed as such but I had a relationship where I was told I was unattractive and nobody would want me.

Past photos are what shames me I can't even look at them because of how big I was even though people thought I was cute I still hate myself from then and can't believe I weighed 25 stone at one time

I do need a new wardrobe though lol too many clothes falling off me now. "

Well done, I know that struggle. I'm right there with you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 11/10/19 22:27:18]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've found the attitude to larger women here mixed. On the one hand it's genuine adoration, on the other it's pretty vile...

"Fat women are easy/desperate/ tighter and get wet faster" has been said to me many times!

How do you judge when men always lie? Are they happy to be seen with you in public? It also falls into that gross desperate drive to fuck anyone anyone who'll have them. I need mutual attraction and respect otherwise no go.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Everyone is going to have a different outlook on it. I guess if you’re happy then crack on. If not then do something to change. There’s definitely a big interest in other women, large guys.... not so much!

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By *Carver-Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

"I wish society would understand that someone else's weight is nothing to do with them.

There's far too much shaming of people on a daily basis as it is, whether its weight or something else. At the end of the day, everyone else should just mind their own."

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