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Joking aside and I'd love reasoned feedback here, it seems like a lot of guys are complaining from the lack of females that won't meet them after one or two messages and that ladies demand too much.
I've always thought that men (general rule, not all of course) have a far higher drive for sex than women and would have it most days whereas women are less so. Men are also less choosy (generally, not all in both afore mentioned cases  )
Also let's just say the average ratio of men to women is seven to one (just a nice easy figure to work with but I've heard it's far higher). However using the seven to one ration a woman would then need to meet every day to meet "demand".
Over all it makes me think that a lot of men are then falling into the unreasonable expectation of both the site and swinging. Do guys expect too much on joining the site? Do women expect too much from men too but in a different way???
Thoughts????
NB Yes there are also lots of lovely sensible, polite folk too | |||
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"All I demand if you will is to have a reasonable amount of chat to see if we are compatible and both fancy each other. That can be a few days or a few weeks. I'd say both Male and female can fall into the category of having too much expectations on here. Males see a sex site and think bingo!! Free sex! Women see a sex site and think bingo free sex!! And some see it as a money making scheme or looking for love..as long as folk are upfront in what they are truly looking for it would be alot better to understand. In my opinion." I think that's a good assessment - being upfront in what you're looking for is definitely there but do you ever find that you being upfront is taken as being uppity??? | |||
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"All I demand if you will is to have a reasonable amount of chat to see if we are compatible and both fancy each other. That can be a few days or a few weeks. I'd say both Male and female can fall into the category of having too much expectations on here. Males see a sex site and think bingo!! Free sex! Women see a sex site and think bingo free sex!! And some see it as a money making scheme or looking for love..as long as folk are upfront in what they are truly looking for it would be alot better to understand. In my opinion." Very well put and from a lady even better so to educate us guys!! | |||
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"I think you are both spot on although not so keen on the bingo "Jaysus yer right there | |||
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"Do men expect to much yes yes they do. Conversely as woman get stupid amounts of attention they then expect to much also" Hmmm can see you're point, but I would say it also might sound that way from ladies from exasperation too  | |||
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"This I hope will stay in a nice format I hope!! It cant be easy for the ladies on here I'm sure!! But I find it difficult and I putting that down to the whole ratio thing. Clearly the ratios vary from area to area. I dont let it bother me ect because I understand how it is and know that one day I'll meet that person. Until then I send a few messages and enjoy the social chat for now. I'd say, mindfull, understanding and respectful will shine when timing is right. Be patient lads, it will be worth it!!" Yep patience is often quoted as the key and I think as I said the male/female outlook on sex is different (usually) too | |||
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"My life is busy and i also enjoy time alone so i certainly did not join to shag myself into an early grave. I would say on average i do something Fab related 4 or 5 times a month. This can either be a meet, a party or a club visit. I enjoy chatting to folk and get asked to meet often but as is written in my profile i would rather do the asking and my own searching. Maybe folk think im stand offish but this is my life so i am in total control of the choices i make. I do feel sorry for alot of the men as i am aware its not easy for them on Fab but some of them dont seem to help themselves." Clearly and eloquently put | |||
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"I will kick it off vel. My opinion is that yes, men can have too high an expectation of the site. Maybe they heard that it's like "shooting in a barrel of fannies". Or every woman is sitting in lingerie waiting for their message offering the "time of their lives." I'm not a fan of the winging and moaning posts but I do get the frustration. The amount of times I have heard "it's the power of the pussy" from woman on here. Every one has the right to choose and we should all respect the site rules of no reply is a no. However, if a guy sees that his message hasn't been read, sends another because he thinks that it has been missed due to hearing that woman get hundreds of messages a day then gets abuse for it. I'm not sure that is really plying fair or very adult. (I delete messages after I've sent them of I see the person has been online since I sent it.) " Good point my dear! I am very against women speaking in that tone and like you lovely guys who are gents here feel my sex lets the side down when they do. The messages thing is a difficult one. I was away for a few days and had a huge influx of messages which I really just couldn't answer and like bluebell I have on it I prefer to do the seeking. I replied to some and to those I chat with regularly but not random ones that were either rude etc | |||
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"From my point of view, yes, it can be frustrating for men. It may be a swingers site, and yes there may be many people looking for instant lust-feulled satisfaction - I've been there, done that and got the tee shirt - but I think most women, and a smaller percentage of men, look for that emotional connection. I believe the older both get, the more they seek something other than instant animalistic gratification. Personally I can do both, I think. My preference would be to copulate with someone I have a connection with. Someone I fancy the pants off. Someone who turns on brain two as much as brain one. Someone I can laugh, cry, and happily fart in front of. Unfortunately,that kind of connection, I believe, comes with strings attached. Emotional strings. Ones that I'm not sure I'd want to tie in knots or fray. I speak, or have spoken to, people on here who I'd put in both categories. Ones who I really click with and fancy, and ones who I click with on an animalistic level. I've had numerous offers from people in each category over the years, yet the two people I've met thus far have been from my less desired category because it felt safer. Of late, I am contemplating branching out, though. So in conclusion, yes it's tough for guys, but you only get out of it what you put in, like most things in life. That was really difficult typing serious stuff. Think I went way off topic. Am away back to a nonsense thread. " Not at all, it's great to see that from a male in particular and perhaps both males and females could do with understanding some of what you said for BOTH sexes. I'm all for the nonsense too mind you | |||
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"Do men expect to much yes yes they do. Conversely as woman get stupid amounts of attention they then expect to much also Hmmm can see you're point, but I would say it also might sound that way from ladies from exasperation too "by the same token men get exasperated with the demands fems insist on it's a swings and roundabouts thing. | |||
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"From my point of view, yes, it can be frustrating for men. It may be a swingers site, and yes there may be many people looking for instant lust-feulled satisfaction - I've been there, done that and got the tee shirt - but I think most women, and a smaller percentage of men, look for that emotional connection. I believe the older both get, the more they seek something other than instant animalistic gratification. Personally I can do both, I think. My preference would be to copulate with someone I have a connection with. Someone I fancy the pants off. Someone who turns on brain two as much as brain one. Someone I can laugh, cry, and happily fart in front of. Unfortunately,that kind of connection, I believe, comes with strings attached. Emotional strings. Ones that I'm not sure I'd want to tie in knots or fray. I speak, or have spoken to, people on here who I'd put in both categories. Ones who I really click with and fancy, and ones who I click with on an animalistic level. I've had numerous offers from people in each category over the years, yet the two people I've met thus far have been from my less desired category because it felt safer. Of late, I am contemplating branching out, though. So in conclusion, yes it's tough for guys, but you only get out of it what you put in, like most things in life. That was really difficult typing serious stuff. Think I went way off topic. Am away back to a nonsense thread. Not at all, it's great to see that from a male in particular and perhaps both males and females could do with understanding some of what you said for BOTH sexes. I'm all for the nonsense too mind you "I would happily nonsense you senseless! | |||
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"Do men expect to much yes yes they do. Conversely as woman get stupid amounts of attention they then expect to much also Hmmm can see you're point, but I would say it also might sound that way from ladies from exasperation too by the same token men get exasperated with the demands fems insist on it's a swings and roundabouts thing.
"Agreed to a point, but female exasperation is often fueled by a males unrealistic expectation. However I do agree with a point you've made before that it doesn't mean you have to be rude or sound entitled in attitude. Also that there are some females that would only gain that attention here. | |||
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"From my point of view, yes, it can be frustrating for men. It may be a swingers site, and yes there may be many people looking for instant lust-feulled satisfaction - I've been there, done that and got the tee shirt - but I think most women, and a smaller percentage of men, look for that emotional connection. I believe the older both get, the more they seek something other than instant animalistic gratification. Personally I can do both, I think. My preference would be to copulate with someone I have a connection with. Someone I fancy the pants off. Someone who turns on brain two as much as brain one. Someone I can laugh, cry, and happily fart in front of. Unfortunately,that kind of connection, I believe, comes with strings attached. Emotional strings. Ones that I'm not sure I'd want to tie in knots or fray. I speak, or have spoken to, people on here who I'd put in both categories. Ones who I really click with and fancy, and ones who I click with on an animalistic level. I've had numerous offers from people in each category over the years, yet the two people I've met thus far have been from my less desired category because it felt safer. Of late, I am contemplating branching out, though. So in conclusion, yes it's tough for guys, but you only get out of it what you put in, like most things in life. That was really difficult typing serious stuff. Think I went way off topic. Am away back to a nonsense thread. Not at all, it's great to see that from a male in particular and perhaps both males and females could do with understanding some of what you said for BOTH sexes. I'm all for the nonsense too mind you
I would happily nonsense you senseless!"ooooer | |||
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"It's a difficult one... When I was on before in Inverness area I was lucky enough to get a few meets and with verifications found it not too bad to converse with women and couples and eventually get a few more meets... Since having a brain fart and deleting my account and moving to central I've definitely found it a bit more frustrating but I've put that down to not being regularly active on the site. Patience is a virtue though..." I do think so and I'm sure you'll find it works  | |||
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"Not all women have demands I just like some chat to determine if someone's right for me to meet or not " Yes, definitely agree there!!! But I find men not so much and I think that is one of the basic differences between men and women in general (but not exclusively) | |||
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"It's all too difficult for my brain to comprehend! "Ocht yer just a man even if yer a Dr lol | |||
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"It's all too difficult for my brain to comprehend!
Ocht yer just a man even if yer a Dr lol "Thanks for being so understanding | |||
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"Do men expect to much yes yes they do. Conversely as woman get stupid amounts of attention they then expect to much also Hmmm can see you're point, but I would say it also might sound that way from ladies from exasperation too by the same token men get exasperated with the demands fems insist on it's a swings and roundabouts thing.
Agreed to a point, but female exasperation is often fueled by a males unrealistic expectation. However I do agree with a point you've made before that it doesn't mean you have to be rude or sound entitled in attitude. Also that there are some females that would only gain that attention here. "for me it's a snake biting its tail I think it's more apparent with guys due to volume but % wise I'd say it's the same | |||
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"Velouria has raised many points here and all have been addressed in one way or another. Personally, on the ‘unrealistic expectations’ point I’d add my 2 pence. I joined Fab with no expectations. And have pretty much taken every interaction that way throughout until such a point that it is clear there is chemistry that should be taken to the next stage. And each interaction, timewise and final resolution, is always going to be different. That’s part of the fun. Not point getting frustrated. " Love this and thanks - if only we could get more to understand this, females too | |||
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"It's all too difficult for my brain to comprehend!
Ocht yer just a man even if yer a Dr lol
Thanks for being so understanding "You do make me smile - You're the best Dr I know | |||
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"Do men expect to much yes yes they do. Conversely as woman get stupid amounts of attention they then expect to much also Hmmm can see you're point, but I would say it also might sound that way from ladies from exasperation too by the same token men get exasperated with the demands fems insist on it's a swings and roundabouts thing.
Agreed to a point, but female exasperation is often fueled by a males unrealistic expectation. However I do agree with a point you've made before that it doesn't mean you have to be rude or sound entitled in attitude. Also that there are some females that would only gain that attention here. for me it's a snake biting its tail I think it's more apparent with guys due to volume but % wise I'd say it's the same"Interesting point - perhaps but not won over entirely by that. Women do get badgered sometimes not so sure men do that and I think that's down to the nature of the beast as in men/women. Both have faults though | |||
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"All I demand if you will is to have a reasonable amount of chat to see if we are compatible and both fancy each other. That can be a few days or a few weeks. I'd say both Male and female can fall into the category of having too much expectations on here. Males see a sex site and think bingo!! Free sex! Women see a sex site and think bingo free sex!! And some see it as a money making scheme or looking for love..as long as folk are upfront in what they are truly looking for it would be alot better to understand. In my opinion. I think that's a good assessment - being upfront in what you're looking for is definitely there but do you ever find that you being upfront is taken as being uppity??? " not so much uppity but iv been called way too picky alot but bloody hell if I'm looking to get naked with someone I'm gonna be extremely picky! Lol | |||
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"Do men expect to much yes yes they do. Conversely as woman get stupid amounts of attention they then expect to much also Hmmm can see you're point, but I would say it also might sound that way from ladies from exasperation too by the same token men get exasperated with the demands fems insist on it's a swings and roundabouts thing.
Agreed to a point, but female exasperation is often fueled by a males unrealistic expectation. However I do agree with a point you've made before that it doesn't mean you have to be rude or sound entitled in attitude. Also that there are some females that would only gain that attention here. for me it's a snake biting its tail I think it's more apparent with guys due to volume but % wise I'd say it's the same
Interesting point - perhaps but not won over entirely by that. Women do get badgered sometimes not so sure men do that and I think that's down to the nature of the beast as in men/women. Both have faults though "Sorry that should read "not so sure men GET that"...  | |||
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"All I demand if you will is to have a reasonable amount of chat to see if we are compatible and both fancy each other. That can be a few days or a few weeks. I'd say both Male and female can fall into the category of having too much expectations on here. Males see a sex site and think bingo!! Free sex! Women see a sex site and think bingo free sex!! And some see it as a money making scheme or looking for love..as long as folk are upfront in what they are truly looking for it would be alot better to understand. In my opinion. I think that's a good assessment - being upfront in what you're looking for is definitely there but do you ever find that you being upfront is taken as being uppity??? not so much uppity but iv been called way too picky alot but bloody hell if I'm looking to get naked with someone I'm gonna be extremely picky! Lol" No one human here is entitled to make demands but we are all entitled to be picky. Those that disagree with that are likely to get “uppity” about it. | |||
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"I will kick it off vel. My opinion is that yes, men can have too high an expectation of the site. Maybe they heard that it's like "shooting in a barrel of fannies". Or every woman is sitting in lingerie waiting for their message offering the "time of their lives." I'm not a fan of the winging and moaning posts but I do get the frustration. The amount of times I have heard "it's the power of the pussy" from woman on here. Every one has the right to choose and we should all respect the site rules of no reply is a no. However, if a guy sees that his message hasn't been read, sends another because he thinks that it has been missed due to hearing that woman get hundreds of messages a day then gets abuse for it. I'm not sure that is really plying fair or very adult. (I delete messages after I've sent them of I see the person has been online since I sent it.) " Oi ! not just the ladies sitting in their lingerie waiting on the time of their lives . | |||
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"Do men expect to much yes yes they do. Conversely as woman get stupid amounts of attention they then expect to much also Hmmm can see you're point, but I would say it also might sound that way from ladies from exasperation too by the same token men get exasperated with the demands fems insist on it's a swings and roundabouts thing.
Agreed to a point, but female exasperation is often fueled by a males unrealistic expectation. However I do agree with a point you've made before that it doesn't mean you have to be rude or sound entitled in attitude. Also that there are some females that would only gain that attention here. for me it's a snake biting its tail I think it's more apparent with guys due to volume but % wise I'd say it's the same
Interesting point - perhaps but not won over entirely by that. Women do get badgered sometimes not so sure men do that and I think that's down to the nature of the beast as in men/women. Both have faults though "oh men get badgered definitely. I think it goes to the precept that woman are good and pure which from a guys perspective is far from the truth. | |||
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"All I demand if you will is to have a reasonable amount of chat to see if we are compatible and both fancy each other. That can be a few days or a few weeks. I'd say both Male and female can fall into the category of having too much expectations on here. Males see a sex site and think bingo!! Free sex! Women see a sex site and think bingo free sex!! And some see it as a money making scheme or looking for love..as long as folk are upfront in what they are truly looking for it would be alot better to understand. In my opinion." Here! Here! I'll second that. | |||
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So it's my own fault really lol | |||
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"I said on another thread recently that it was “disheartening” not getting a reply from a couple of messages I had sent. Not from any form of desperate need to meet, create a meet, engineer a meet. I have had my fair share of success over the years and now real content with not being busy with anything fab wise. I found it disheartening that not even a chat or any form of fun exchange via a message was possible. I think that is a statistical measure of the site, because I certainly do recall not so long ago people simply taking time out to respond, try a little searching ask back etc. Not a lot to do with ratio of men to women, just modern multi options online and busy lives generally. In no way could I busy myself with fab the way I used to and that’s also a sign of the times, workin hard to keep your job,pay the bills all too often after that ,gettin home knackered just time to relax is all I want. So an attempt at a message is a rare thing with simply the hope of a lovely upbeat reply, if it does not happen then just maybe I have messaged someone equally busy with real life and loving time to relax too." Fair point. | |||
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"All I demand if you will is to have a reasonable amount of chat to see if we are compatible and both fancy each other. That can be a few days or a few weeks. I'd say both Male and female can fall into the category of having too much expectations on here. Males see a sex site and think bingo!! Free sex! Women see a sex site and think bingo free sex!! And some see it as a money making scheme or looking for love..as long as folk are upfront in what they are truly looking for it would be alot better to understand. In my opinion. I think that's a good assessment - being upfront in what you're looking for is definitely there but do you ever find that you being upfront is taken as being uppity??? not so much uppity but iv been called way too picky alot but bloody hell if I'm looking to get naked with someone I'm gonna be extremely picky! Lol No one human here is entitled to make demands but we are all entitled to be picky. Those that disagree with that are likely to get “uppity” about it. " Spot on my dear | |||
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"I will kick it off vel. My opinion is that yes, men can have too high an expectation of the site. Maybe they heard that it's like "shooting in a barrel of fannies". Or every woman is sitting in lingerie waiting for their message offering the "time of their lives." I'm not a fan of the winging and moaning posts but I do get the frustration. The amount of times I have heard "it's the power of the pussy" from woman on here. Every one has the right to choose and we should all respect the site rules of no reply is a no. However, if a guy sees that his message hasn't been read, sends another because he thinks that it has been missed due to hearing that woman get hundreds of messages a day then gets abuse for it. I'm not sure that is really plying fair or very adult. (I delete messages after I've sent them of I see the person has been online since I sent it.) Oi ! not just the ladies sitting in their lingerie waiting on the time of their lives . "Poor of me to generalise Steph anno lolol | |||
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"Do men expect to much yes yes they do. Conversely as woman get stupid amounts of attention they then expect to much also Hmmm can see you're point, but I would say it also might sound that way from ladies from exasperation too by the same token men get exasperated with the demands fems insist on it's a swings and roundabouts thing.
Agreed to a point, but female exasperation is often fueled by a males unrealistic expectation. However I do agree with a point you've made before that it doesn't mean you have to be rude or sound entitled in attitude. Also that there are some females that would only gain that attention here. for me it's a snake biting its tail I think it's more apparent with guys due to volume but % wise I'd say it's the same
Interesting point - perhaps but not won over entirely by that. Women do get badgered sometimes not so sure men do that and I think that's down to the nature of the beast as in men/women. Both have faults though oh men get badgered definitely.
I think it goes to the precept that woman are good and pure which from a guys perspective is far from the truth."Not saying men can’t get badgered but I’m very sure it’s not as much as women. Every time I’ve been here I make it very clear I will instigate contact. At this point I’d like to say there are a few really lovely males here I chat to. The following does not apply to them. Every day I get messages from guys who either ignore the profile or after a no, still message. There’s one guy who has sent several after such a polite no in particular which I’ve not responded to. Part of me is curious as to how long he will do that “badgering” behaviour as that’s how I view it. Yes I could use more filters and block etc but there’s also lots of nice messages like ones from here I’d miss. There’s also several other messages which are “badgering” too. I also think your comment that people view women as good and pure is outdated and wrong. We shall agree to differ | |||
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"It's basically trying to find a needle in a haystack, guys need to have the patience of a saint, girls need to be more proactive in choosing men that they want, all you hear is girls complaining the guys that msg them are balloons and the guys messaging them complaining they're not getting any, granted I'm a guy but I never waited for girls to msg me, I looked for who I thought was compatible, I'd say the ratio of girls I have met is 70/30 the 70% being girls that have msgd me first, I used to be very active on here and I've lost count how many girls I've arranged to meet but they've cancelled last minute,I was so good at reading the signs, that I'd be sitting, feet up watching a film an hour or two before meeting, knowing the wee txt to cancel was coming, no girl that msgd me first though has ever cancelled, which is why I rarely msg anyone now, I'd rather wait for the genuine serious girl to msg me first "I think you’re right, ladies should perhaps instigate more | |||
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"Here's my tuppence worth, I get lots of messages but only like the ones with more than three lines of exciting and interesting chat. I've got a lot on my profile to comment on. I do realise that guys get a hard deal but I feel I'm in line of women they've messaged and are fed up, so go for "hi, how are you, or how's your week, weekend etc" that I don't like, I am a sapiophile. Anyway that's that. Thanks for listening. " Maybe that’s why we don’t indicate... to busy answering all that mail lol | |||
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"No matter what you put on your profile, 90% of people don't bother reading, or paying attention to it! This is just my experience, maybe others find things different?" Nope Shorty, you’re spot on either don’t read or take a chance... actually had that in a message recently “if you don’t ask you don’t get” | |||
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"Iv always said I'm gonna start making the 1st move lol but I hardly ever do
So it's my own fault really lol"Get oot there woman lol | |||
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"I think it's quite often the case that the men who claim they are being nice and respectful make it very evident that they are overly keen to seal the deal as it were, and I find that quite off putting. I can't comment on how women go about it as I don't really interact with them " I’ve found that true too | |||
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"My opinion is that in general guys get the raw end of the deal on here in many aspects. It’s not unrealistic to join a sex site and expect to meet (obvs I’m not talking about the idiots) but this site has changed over the years from the site it was intentionally ment to be (not saying that’s a bad thing it’s just how it is). " I agree the site had changed a lot too and it is just the way it is but strangely you’d think a freer attitude to sex would mean better behaviour. I’ve said that about the expectation for sex too, perfectly reasonable to expect it but the instashag mentality seems worse not better | |||
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" I agree the site had changed a lot too " When I see this comment I often wonder what people mean by it. In the context of this thread it seems to indicate that the men used to be less in a hurry to get to the sex bit. But I've often seen the same statement used in regards to the fact that people used to be more keen to meet quickly without any faff | |||
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"Do men expect to much yes yes they do. Conversely as woman get stupid amounts of attention they then expect to much also Hmmm can see you're point, but I would say it also might sound that way from ladies from exasperation too by the same token men get exasperated with the demands fems insist on it's a swings and roundabouts thing.
Agreed to a point, but female exasperation is often fueled by a males unrealistic expectation. However I do agree with a point you've made before that it doesn't mean you have to be rude or sound entitled in attitude. Also that there are some females that would only gain that attention here. for me it's a snake biting its tail I think it's more apparent with guys due to volume but % wise I'd say it's the same
Interesting point - perhaps but not won over entirely by that. Women do get badgered sometimes not so sure men do that and I think that's down to the nature of the beast as in men/women. Both have faults though oh men get badgered definitely.
I think it goes to the precept that woman are good and pure which from a guys perspective is far from the truth.
Not saying men can’t get badgered but I’m very sure it’s not as much as women. Every time I’ve been here I make it very clear I will instigate contact. At this point I’d like to say there are a few really lovely males here I chat to. The following does not apply to them. Every day I get messages from guys who either ignore the profile or after a no, still message. There’s one guy who has sent several after such a polite no in particular which I’ve not responded to. Part of me is curious as to how long he will do that “badgering” behaviour as that’s how I view it. Yes I could use more filters and block etc but there’s also lots of nice messages like ones from here I’d miss. There’s also several other messages which are “badgering” too. I also think your comment that people view women as good and pure is outdated and wrong. We shall agree to differ "The badgering behaviour may come from the guys who have absolutely no control over the primitive side of their brain, or perhaps the primitive side is more dominant in some guys than others. To be fair, it can be difficult to engage the frontal lobe whilst logged into a site filled with things that are known to stimulate a man's primal urges, but control it he must, else he'll wind up on here whingeing that no will help him fulfil his endgame. | |||
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"No matter what you put on your profile, 90% of people don't bother reading, or paying attention to it! This is just my experience, maybe others find things different? Nope Shorty, you’re spot on either don’t read or take a chance... actually had that in a message recently “if you don’t ask you don’t get” "Yeah, that's it in a nutshell. | |||
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"I said on another thread recently that it was “disheartening” not getting a reply from a couple of messages I had sent. Not from any form of desperate need to meet, create a meet, engineer a meet. I have had my fair share of success over the years and now real content with not being busy with anything fab wise. I found it disheartening that not even a chat or any form of fun exchange via a message was possible. I think that is a statistical measure of the site, because I certainly do recall not so long ago people simply taking time out to respond, try a little searching ask back etc. Not a lot to do with ratio of men to women, just modern multi options online and busy lives generally. In no way could I busy myself with fab the way I used to and that’s also a sign of the times, workin hard to keep your job,pay the bills all too often after that ,gettin home knackered just time to relax is all I want. So an attempt at a message is a rare thing with simply the hope of a lovely upbeat reply, if it does not happen then just maybe I have messaged someone equally busy with real life and loving time to relax too." I tend not to encourage chatting as there is then an expectation of sex if there’s been chat for some. This could be part of the change in the site too I guess. | |||
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"Do men expect to much yes yes they do. Conversely as woman get stupid amounts of attention they then expect to much also Hmmm can see you're point, but I would say it also might sound that way from ladies from exasperation too by the same token men get exasperated with the demands fems insist on it's a swings and roundabouts thing.
Agreed to a point, but female exasperation is often fueled by a males unrealistic expectation. However I do agree with a point you've made before that it doesn't mean you have to be rude or sound entitled in attitude. Also that there are some females that would only gain that attention here. for me it's a snake biting its tail I think it's more apparent with guys due to volume but % wise I'd say it's the same
Interesting point - perhaps but not won over entirely by that. Women do get badgered sometimes not so sure men do that and I think that's down to the nature of the beast as in men/women. Both have faults though oh men get badgered definitely.
I think it goes to the precept that woman are good and pure which from a guys perspective is far from the truth.
Not saying men can’t get badgered but I’m very sure it’s not as much as women. Every time I’ve been here I make it very clear I will instigate contact. At this point I’d like to say there are a few really lovely males here I chat to. The following does not apply to them. Every day I get messages from guys who either ignore the profile or after a no, still message. There’s one guy who has sent several after such a polite no in particular which I’ve not responded to. Part of me is curious as to how long he will do that “badgering” behaviour as that’s how I view it. Yes I could use more filters and block etc but there’s also lots of nice messages like ones from here I’d miss. There’s also several other messages which are “badgering” too. I also think your comment that people view women as good and pure is outdated and wrong. We shall agree to differ
The badgering behaviour may come from the guys who have absolutely no control over the primitive side of their brain, or perhaps the primitive side is more dominant in some guys than others. To be fair, it can be difficult to engage the frontal lobe whilst logged into a site filled with things that are known to stimulate a man's primal urges, but control it he must, else he'll wind up on here whingeing that no will help him fulfil his endgame. "I’ve had that conversation with a couple of guys who agree with you - I wish more recognised it | |||
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"I will kick it off vel. My opinion is that yes, men can have too high an expectation of the site. Maybe they heard that it's like "shooting in a barrel of fannies". Or every woman is sitting in lingerie waiting for their message offering the "time of their lives." I'm not a fan of the winging and moaning posts but I do get the frustration. The amount of times I have heard "it's the power of the pussy" from woman on here. Every one has the right to choose and we should all respect the site rules of no reply is a no. However, if a guy sees that his message hasn't been read, sends another because he thinks that it has been missed due to hearing that woman get hundreds of messages a day then gets abuse for it. I'm not sure that is really plying fair or very adult. (I delete messages after I've sent them of I see the person has been online since I sent it.) Oi ! not just the ladies sitting in their lingerie waiting on the time of their lives .
Poor of me to generalise Steph anno lolol "Actually I should apologise. It was my comment. Please accept my most humble apologies...  | |||
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"All valid points that do apply..But its the nutters that make it diffucult for all members, guys, genuine guys have to try to get across the they are who they say they are, and the women have to try to decide if its bull or not. But guys it's not a free sex site, and never presume that because you arranged a meet that you will be having sex....That's not your decision to make....." Yep well said | |||
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And evening when you do get a reply, it can be hard to strike up a conversation.... or hard to judge the point at turning it sexual. Not in a gratuitous sex chat kind of way, but maybe a bit of chat about what people enjoy. I’ve probably had chats dry up when I haven’t done that, when maybe I should, and vice versa.
But I guess patience and perseverance is key, as every once in a while you do get a decent bit of chat going, where both of us seem on the same page or whatever. But even then it might not be easy to meet for one reason or another.
So if and when a message results in a meet, it’s usually pretty great, as it isn’t just with anyone, it’s with someone I’ll have had a decent amount of chat with, gotten to know a bit, and so there will be a pretty good chance we’ll get on if we meet. So new meets might be more occasional, but they are usually worth the wait. | |||
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"I said on another thread recently that it was “disheartening” not getting a reply from a couple of messages I had sent. Not from any form of desperate need to meet, create a meet, engineer a meet. I have had my fair share of success over the years and now real content with not being busy with anything fab wise. I found it disheartening that not even a chat or any form of fun exchange via a message was possible. I think that is a statistical measure of the site, because I certainly do recall not so long ago people simply taking time out to respond, try a little searching ask back etc. Not a lot to do with ratio of men to women, just modern multi options online and busy lives generally. In no way could I busy myself with fab the way I used to and that’s also a sign of the times, workin hard to keep your job,pay the bills all too often after that ,gettin home knackered just time to relax is all I want. So an attempt at a message is a rare thing with simply the hope of a lovely upbeat reply, if it does not happen then just maybe I have messaged someone equally busy with real life and loving time to relax too. I tend not to encourage chatting as there is then an expectation of sex if there’s been chat for some. This could be part of the change in the site too I guess. " Yes,i can understand that too. But as an example,i used to never really be a fan of chatroom but now various people on there are both chatty and fun to chat to and mutually familiar,been clicking on chat mainly as part of the fun of working week ending on a friday night and its a hoot,never hit on anyone,just simply enjoyed the exchanges amongst the people on there. | |||
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"Not saying men can’t get badgered but I’m very sure it’s not as much as women. Because of numbers nothing more imo Every time I’ve been here I make it very clear I will instigate contact. At this point I’d like to say there are a few really lovely males here I chat to. The following does not apply to them. Every day I get messages from guys who either ignore the profile or after a no, still message. There’s one guy who has sent several after such a polite no in particular which I’ve not responded to. I get mgs from single fems I've told I've no interest in then to get the crudest mags back (I don't block as it hilarious) Part of me is curious as to how long he will do that “badgering” behaviour as that’s how I view it. Yes I could use more filters and block etc but there’s also lots of nice messages like ones from here I’d miss. There’s also several other messages which are “badgering” too. I also think your comment that people view women as good and pure is outdated and wrong. We shall agree to differ Is it outdated though judging from the asslickers agreeing anything a fem says to be unquestionably fact kind of goes against what your saying surely your not going to say you haven't seen this. It's not my view woman and men can be complete asshats in equal proportions " You can’t judge men or women by the minimal few that use the forums though many opinions can be aired. Your last sentence doesn’t make sense to me either but I know you won’t change your opinion so it’s immaterial | |||
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"I think you just have to be thick skinned and accept that most messages won’t result in a reply. I grew a little beard so I can just tell myself it’s because the recipient just doesn’t like a beard.
And evening when you do get a reply, it can be hard to strike up a conversation.... or hard to judge the point at turning it sexual. Not in a gratuitous sex chat kind of way, but maybe a bit of chat about what people enjoy. I’ve probably had chats dry up when I haven’t done that, when maybe I should, and vice versa.
But I guess patience and perseverance is key, as every once in a while you do get a decent bit of chat going, where both of us seem on the same page or whatever. But even then it might not be easy to meet for one reason or another.
So if and when a message results in a meet, it’s usually pretty great, as it isn’t just with anyone, it’s with someone I’ll have had a decent amount of chat with, gotten to know a bit, and so there will be a pretty good chance we’ll get on if we meet. So new meets might be more occasional, but they are usually worth the wait."Good attitude, I’m hoping some of the guys who post about struggling read a lot of the responses from all you lovely ladies and gents. Acht I know I’m a dreamer but as the fabulous Mr Lennon wrote - I’m not the only one | |||
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"I think everyone can at times have unrealistic expectations. In all things not just when it comes to meeting people. Taking Fab out of the equation for a minute. You only have to look at the pressure society puts on us all at certain times of the year; to be extra happy and joyful! How bad we sometimes are left feeling when it doesn't live up to that? We all have this expectation or a preconceived idea of what "normal" or happy or successful looks like but actually it's not something that can be defined. It's unique to us all. Therefore it s_ands to reason people may sign up here with expectations that they aren't able to manage. I guess it's only with time, patience and experiences you find out how to do that. " It is indeed dear Sinders | |||
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"Most of what I was going to say has already been said by others but it's really difficult to strike up a conversation when you don't even get a reply. " I’ve had about twenty random messages today so replied to friends first. I have replied to some but then you get ping pong back with why not etc. Bear in mind my profile states I prefer to instigate contact but if I’m expected to answer mails it limits time to look and also there’s real life too, if I answer everything I’d be spending god knows how long ing via incoming mail. I do totally understand your point though and feel for the genuinely nice and non harassing guys. Just trying to give the female side | |||
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"For me .meeting a guy at either house is like a game of Russian roulette I know I'm not a psycho but dont know a possible meet isnt . also I feel theres not much respect it's mostly people working away .or guys d*unk.joining on a saterday and expecting it to be a free viva street site ..." Agreed, often wonder if it works for then though as it happens on a regular basis | |||
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"For me .meeting a guy at either house is like a game of Russian roulette I know I'm not a psycho but dont know a possible meet isnt . also I feel theres not much respect it's mostly people working away .or guys d*unk.joining on a saterday and expecting it to be a free viva street site ... Agreed, often wonder if it works for then though as it happens on a regular basis "Same of their profiles or statuses don’t even make sense. I’m obviously fabbing wrong. You need to move quick and confuse people. | |||
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"Not saying men can’t get badgered but I’m very sure it’s not as much as women. Because of numbers nothing more imo Every time I’ve been here I make it very clear I will instigate contact. At this point I’d like to say there are a few really lovely males here I chat to. The following does not apply to them. Every day I get messages from guys who either ignore the profile or after a no, still message. There’s one guy who has sent several after such a polite no in particular which I’ve not responded to. I get mgs from single fems I've told I've no interest in then to get the crudest mags back (I don't block as it hilarious) Part of me is curious as to how long he will do that “badgering” behaviour as that’s how I view it. Yes I could use more filters and block etc but there’s also lots of nice messages like ones from here I’d miss. There’s also several other messages which are “badgering” too. I also think your comment that people view women as good and pure is outdated and wrong. We shall agree to differ Is it outdated though judging from the asslickers agreeing anything a fem says to be unquestionably fact kind of goes against what your saying surely your not going to say you haven't seen this. It's not my view woman and men can be complete asshats in equal proportions You can’t judge men or women by the minimal few that use the forums though many opinions can be aired. Your last sentence doesn’t make sense to me either but I know you won’t change your opinion so it’s immaterial "last sentence doesn't make sense ? Are you not judging men by the minimal few aside from that my last sentence mearly states that proportionally woman are as bad as men I'm not claiming men cant be assholes but it's often a jaded view that woman direct perhaps as you wont get the dogs abuse that men can recieve. Your right though I've seen the proof of the pudding and minds not for changing | |||
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"Loneliness and isolation are killers. When a person can't get the love and affection they need they tend to get desperate. Guys suffer more because there is more men to women. There is 365 days a year however. And the world keeps spinning. So there is lots of opportunity to meet. I think girls are way too fussy and some play games to get what they want. It's cruel because Even one or two meets can make a big difference to a person. I felt so rejected for a long time and it killed me inside. I paid escorts to sleep with me to help. The sex was fantastic as I could do what I wanted and I got alot of filthy habits because of it. I met some lovely women during that time. But it never filled the void of being wanted and when time was up I felt alone again. Having 1 person who wants to be with you is worth a 1000 escorts. I personally want more friends with benefits. I don't mind sharing. I would happily wake in a bed of 3 girls and 2 guys or between a couple. Feels like family and that's what I'm seeking " as a woman I have the absolute right to be 'way too fussy' about who I have sex with. Again you say youv used escorts so you "could do what you wanted" which seriously does not come across well. Rejected men will always come up with their excuses as to why women have rejected them and it usually involves blaming the women...not the men themselves. | |||
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"Not saying men can’t get badgered but I’m very sure it’s not as much as women. Because of numbers nothing more imo Every time I’ve been here I make it very clear I will instigate contact. At this point I’d like to say there are a few really lovely males here I chat to. The following does not apply to them. Every day I get messages from guys who either ignore the profile or after a no, still message. There’s one guy who has sent several after such a polite no in particular which I’ve not responded to. I get mgs from single fems I've told I've no interest in then to get the crudest mags back (I don't block as it hilarious) Part of me is curious as to how long he will do that “badgering” behaviour as that’s how I view it. Yes I could use more filters and block etc but there’s also lots of nice messages like ones from here I’d miss. There’s also several other messages which are “badgering” too. I also think your comment that people view women as good and pure is outdated and wrong. We shall agree to differ Is it outdated though judging from the asslickers agreeing anything a fem says to be unquestionably fact kind of goes against what your saying surely your not going to say you haven't seen this. It's not my view woman and men can be complete asshats in equal proportions You can’t judge men or women by the minimal few that use the forums though many opinions can be aired. Your last sentence doesn’t make sense to me either but I know you won’t change your opinion so it’s immaterial last sentence doesn't make sense ?
Are you not judging men by the minimal few aside from that my last sentence mearly states that proportionally woman are as bad as men I'm not claiming men cant be assholes but it's often a jaded view that woman direct perhaps as you wont get the dogs abuse that men can recieve.
Your right though I've seen the proof of the pudding and minds not for changing "This sentence doesn't make sense to me "It's not my view woman and men can be complete asshats in equal proportions" it seemed like a contrary statement. However it doesn't matter cos as ya said yer not for changing | |||
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"Loneliness and isolation are killers. When a person can't get the love and affection they need they tend to get desperate. Guys suffer more because there is more men to women. There is 365 days a year however. And the world keeps spinning. So there is lots of opportunity to meet. I think girls are way too fussy and some play games to get what they want. It's cruel because Even one or two meets can make a big difference to a person. I felt so rejected for a long time and it killed me inside. I paid escorts to sleep with me to help. The sex was fantastic as I could do what I wanted and I got alot of filthy habits because of it. I met some lovely women during that time. But it never filled the void of being wanted and when time was up I felt alone again. Having 1 person who wants to be with you is worth a 1000 escorts. I personally want more friends with benefits. I don't mind sharing. I would happily wake in a bed of 3 girls and 2 guys or between a couple. Feels like family and that's what I'm seeking " More sentence's ... THIS "I think girls are way too fussy and some play games to get what they want" The first part... is just wrong. What you appear to be asking is that someone drops their standard or just sleeps with anyone. Or that they sleep with people to please THEM... You say you're happy to share with a group... fair enough for you but it seems like you really don't care what anyone else wants??? That's exactly what I'm talking about with the worst of fab. The message that made me most angry was after politely replying to say no I had all I need re the site I got the message saying "can't you just fit me in?" Can't explain how angry I was | |||
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"I think so I've struggled to get any meet could be age too hairy size below I rarely get messages maybe I've expected too much "I honestly think guy's worry too much about dick size. I've seen the status updates from some women and couples, looking for "a pounding from a VWE" but I (think!) I speak for a large number of women on here when I say it's far from the be all and end all. | |||
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"I think so I've struggled to get any meet could be age too hairy size below I rarely get messages maybe I've expected too much
I honestly think guy's worry too much about dick size. I've seen the status updates from some women and couples, looking for "a pounding from a VWE" but I (think!) I speak for a large number of women on here when I say it's far from the be all and end all."I don't worry about dick size doggy, it's the girls that worry as soon as I whip it out and they see the size of it, actually gets a bit tiresome hearing them gasp and scream fuck me it's huge, that'll no fit inside me ffs | |||
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"I think so I've struggled to get any meet could be age too hairy size below I rarely get messages maybe I've expected too much
I honestly think guy's worry too much about dick size. I've seen the status updates from some women and couples, looking for "a pounding from a VWE" but I (think!) I speak for a large number of women on here when I say it's far from the be all and end all.
I don't worry about dick size doggy, it's the girls that worry as soon as I whip it out and they see the size of it, actually gets a bit tiresome hearing them gasp and scream fuck me it's huge, that'll no fit inside me ffs "I didn't know they made talking Barbies nowadays | |||
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"I think so I've struggled to get any meet could be age too hairy size below I rarely get messages maybe I've expected too much
I honestly think guy's worry too much about dick size. I've seen the status updates from some women and couples, looking for "a pounding from a VWE" but I (think!) I speak for a large number of women on here when I say it's far from the be all and end all."thanks for the support it is hard here | |||
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"I think so I've struggled to get any meet could be age too hairy size below I rarely get messages maybe I've expected too much
I honestly think guy's worry too much about dick size. I've seen the status updates from some women and couples, looking for "a pounding from a VWE" but I (think!) I speak for a large number of women on here when I say it's far from the be all and end all.
I don't worry about dick size doggy, it's the girls that worry as soon as I whip it out and they see the size of it, actually gets a bit tiresome hearing them gasp and scream fuck me it's huge, that'll no fit inside me ffs
I didn't know they made talking Barbies nowadays "Always have, used to be a pull string at the back, now it's digital, just push a button, there's also a record function, but to be fair my high pitched female voice does sound a bit creepy coming out of her | |||
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