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Favourite sex quotes

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Sex is like a service stop

Sometimes you get full service one-time you got to ask for services and sometimes you have to be happy with self service

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Sex is like a service stop

Sometimes you get full service one-time you got to ask for services and sometimes you have to be happy with self service "

Brilliant

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Sex is like a service stop

Sometimes you get full service one-time you got to ask for services and sometimes you have to be happy with self service "

Sometimes you get no service.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Sex is like a service stop

Sometimes you get full service one-time you got to ask for services and sometimes you have to be happy with self service

Brilliant"

Spreading a little humor on a Monday night

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Sex is like a service stop

Sometimes you get full service one-time you got to ask for services and sometimes you have to be happy with self service

Sometimes you get no service. "

This is a happy post no miseries

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Sex is like a service stop

Sometimes you get full service one-time you got to ask for services and sometimes you have to be happy with self service

Sometimes you get no service.

This is a happy post no miseries

"

OK. I apologise.

Sometimes you get great service.. And sometimes you get service that you didn't think you'd like but did.

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By *itznBobz2018Couple
over a year ago

edinburgh

What’s the difference between oooh! and aaah!

About three inches

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Sex is like a service stop

Sometimes you get full service one-time you got to ask for services and sometimes you have to be happy with self service

Sometimes you get no service.

This is a happy post no miseries

OK. I apologise.

Sometimes you get great service.. And sometimes you get service that you didn't think you'd like but did. "

Well I am glad as sex in any form should always be good

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By *ortland51Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

The ultimate guide to sex and relationships, by the inimitable Billy Bleach. Packed with funny quotes this;

https://youtu.be/VBIq8GlfSys

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By *leasureseekers123Couple
over a year ago

Heathrow

My left leg is Christmas. My right leg is New Year. Why don’t you come and see me between the holidays!

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By *tew008Man
over a year ago

edinburgh

Sex is like a box of chocolates, you never know whatcha gonna get.

A nut

Endorphins

A mouthful

Something to suck on

Or ill

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By *estless nativeMan
over a year ago

near Glasgow

"Oooo matron"

~ Kenneth Williams

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By *earded blossomCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow

Put the lotion in the basket

John

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why do women have orgasms?

Just another reason to moan, really.

How do you make your girlfriend scream during sex?

Call and tell her about it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"NOT ACTUAL SIZE"

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"What’s the difference between oooh! and aaah!

About three inches "

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I see we are getting all the jokes from the same website

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Difference between purple and pink?

The grip...

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By *r Costa xxMan
over a year ago

stirling

I don’t know the question, but sex is definitely the answer

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fuck me up the arse with you diseased cock ye cunt.

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By *e DevilMan
over a year ago

Blantyre

How do people know if their coming or going,

Ones white the others yellow.

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By *e DevilMan
over a year ago

Blantyre

Me and Mrs She Devil finally reached sexual compatibility last night.

We BOTH had a headache.

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By *ortland51Man
over a year ago

Glasgow


"Me and Mrs She Devil finally reached sexual compatibility last night.

We BOTH had a headache. "

As long as you got it in there first, MHD, means you won!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Probably not the type of quote you meant OP however this is my favourite part from Lady Chatterley's Lover . It's also particularly apt ...

" Well, so many words, because I can’t touch you. If I could sleep with my arms round you, the ink could stay in the bottle. We could be chaste together just as we can fuck together. But we have to be separate for a while, and I suppose it is really the wiser way. If only one were sure.

Never mind, never mind, we won’t get worked up. We really trust in the little flame, and in the unnamed god that shields it from being blown out. There’s so much of you here with me, really, that it's a pity you aren't all here."

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Fuck me up the arse with you diseased cock ye cunt."

That's yuck

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Probably not the type of quote you meant OP however this is my favourite part from Lady Chatterley's Lover . It's also particularly apt ...

" Well, so many words, because I can’t touch you. If I could sleep with my arms round you, the ink could stay in the bottle. We could be chaste together just as we can fuck together. But we have to be separate for a while, and I suppose it is really the wiser way. If only one were sure.

Never mind, never mind, we won’t get worked up. We really trust in the little flame, and in the unnamed god that shields it from being blown out. There’s so much of you here with me, really, that it's a pity you aren't all here." "

I love that novel

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Probably not the type of quote you meant OP however this is my favourite part from Lady Chatterley's Lover . It's also particularly apt ...

" Well, so many words, because I can’t touch you. If I could sleep with my arms round you, the ink could stay in the bottle. We could be chaste together just as we can fuck together. But we have to be separate for a while, and I suppose it is really the wiser way. If only one were sure.

Never mind, never mind, we won’t get worked up. We really trust in the little flame, and in the unnamed god that shields it from being blown out. There’s so much of you here with me, really, that it's a pity you aren't all here."

I love that novel "

Me too

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By *serfriendly500Man
over a year ago

lanarkshire

sex is like overtime ,your scared to knock it back in case its not there next week

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By *V-AliceTV/TS
over a year ago

Ayr

Sex without love is an empty and meaningless experience.

Yes, but as empty and meaningless experiences go, it's one of the best.

Woody Allen (Love and Death).

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By *edLionScotMan
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Unprotected sex is like having a KFC bucket all to yourself.

You're absolutely gagging for it at the time, but afterwards, you wished you'd never done it.

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By *ootlover456Man
over a year ago

Paisley

You can discover more about a person in an hour of play than in a year of conversation - Plato

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By *edLionScotMan
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Marriage is like a buffet.

You're happy with what you've got, until, you see what someone else has, and you think, I'd like to try a bit of that as well!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sex is like pizza. Even when it is bad it is still pretty good

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By *ullie-kingMan
over a year ago

newmains

When asked how sex life is, I reply I get Giro sex.. guaranteed once a month, but never enough to live off of

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By *mudg3rMan
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Confucius he say:

“Boy who go to bed with sex problem on mind wakes up with solution on stomach”.

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By *anny77Man
over a year ago

glasgow

The Oscar Wilde one: Everything in the world is about sex except sex. Sex is about power

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By *r_hamishMan
over a year ago

Rutherglen (ish)

My favourite is from Star Wars..

'You came in that thing? You're braver than I thought.'

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By *orWullieMan
over a year ago

Dunoon


"Unprotected sex is like having a KFC bucket all to yourself.

You're absolutely gagging for it at the time, but afterwards, you wished you'd never done it.

"

Sex is like a KFC, once you have had a go at the breasts and thighs you put the bone into the greasy box...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I may not have been born on a farm but I sure know how to raise a cock xx

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By *edLionScotMan
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Oral sex - a taste of things to cum.

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