FabSwingers.com forum: Even more frustrating...

By *he Regina Phalange OP Woman
over a year ago

Lanarkshire

Kids are at school, I’m home alone feeling a bit Randy. I end up on my bed with a couple of toys, working my way towards the ‘oh my jesus fuck’ moment, when I spot something out the corner of my eye. It’s small and black moving rapidly across my pillow toward me!

A fucking spider ruined my orgasm!!!

I shot off the bed, grabbed a shoe and smacked the wee bastard with it.

I’m now changing my sheets for the wrong reasons.

So, I’m wondering, in the same situation would you do what I did or finish?

If not a spider, apart from your kids walking in

, what would make you stop?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *tew008Man
over a year ago

edinburgh

"Kids are at school, I’m home alone feeling a bit Randy. I end up on my bed with a couple of toys, working my way towards the ‘oh my jesus fuck’ moment, when I spot something out the corner of my eye. It’s small and black moving rapidly across my pillow toward me!

A fucking spider ruined my orgasm!!!

I shot off the bed, grabbed a shoe and smacked the wee bastard with it.

I’m now changing my sheets for the wrong reasons.

So, I’m wondering, in the same situation would you do what I did or finish?

If not a spider, apart from your kids walking in

, what would make you stop?"

Anyone walking in, it’d be a jump to attention stop or a helloooooooo

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A fucking spider ruined my orgasm!!!

I shot off the bed, grabbed a shoe and smacked the wee bastard with it.

I’m now changing my sheets for the wrong reasons.

So, I’m wondering, in the same situation would you do what I did or finish?

If not a spider, apart from your kids walking in

, what would make you stop?

Anyone walking in, it’d be a jump to attention stop or a helloooooooo

Yep, this or the dog watching or a wasp or one of a hundred things. I think the moment is fragile and it could be a long list if you think about it lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

omg the spider would do it for me

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

Did the spider have hairy legs

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Did the spider have hairy legs

?."

It's got nae legs noo

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The window cleaner....he's not the bonniest.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Moths... Aaarrrggghhhhh

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *he Regina Phalange OP Woman
over a year ago

Lanarkshire

"Did the spider have hairy legs

?."

Aye, and a hairy chest

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *he Regina Phalange OP Woman
over a year ago

Lanarkshire

"Did the spider have hairy legs

It's got nae legs noo

It’s true, some legs are in the bin and some are in my washing machine now!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rinthiaMan
over a year ago

dundee

ha ha this actually made me laugh out loud

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Did the spider have hairy legs

Aye, and a hairy chest

He sounds better than some of the talent on here.....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A voyeuristic spider

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ortland51Man
over a year ago

Glasgow

Haha, this made me laugh too! David Attenborough would likely have an explanation for this aracnophobe's voyeuristic behaviour, although he'd be saddened to hear it was the spider that came to a sticky end, and not you!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I canny go spiders wee freaky bastards

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I canny go spiders wee freaky bastards

Awwwwwwww but they eat flies... fkn HATE flies with a passion - disgusting wee jobbyeaters

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I canny go spiders wee freaky bastards

Awwwwwwww but they eat flies... fkn HATE flies with a passion - disgusting wee jobbyeaters

But if the spider eats the fly does that not mean they are jobbyeaters as well

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I canny go spiders wee freaky bastards

Awwwwwwww but they eat flies... fkn HATE flies with a passion - disgusting wee jobbyeaters

But if the spider eats the fly does that not mean they are jobbyeaters as well

And the cow swallows the fly and we have a steak .

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't kill a spider

. Their good to have in the house... Just not for watching ye lady wank

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I canny go spiders wee freaky bastards

Awwwwwwww but they eat flies... fkn HATE flies with a passion - disgusting wee jobbyeaters

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I canny go spiders wee freaky bastards

Awwwwwwww but they eat flies... fkn HATE flies with a passion - disgusting wee jobbyeaters

But if the spider eats the fly does that not mean they are jobbyeaters as well

And the cow swallows the fly and we have a steak .

Ah thought cows were vegetarians lol - as long as there is wine with that steak ah dinna care though

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *he Regina Phalange OP Woman
over a year ago

Lanarkshire

This is turning into that song, there was an old lady who swallowed a fly!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I canny go spiders wee freaky bastards

Awwwwwwww but they eat flies... fkn HATE flies with a passion - disgusting wee jobbyeaters

But if the spider eats the fly does that not mean they are jobbyeaters as well

And the cow swallows the fly and we have a steak .

Ah thought cows were vegetarians lol - as long as there is wine with that steak ah dinna care though

Sometimes you can't help what "pops into" your mouth and you swallow though.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *he Regina Phalange OP Woman
over a year ago

Lanarkshire

"I can't kill a spider

. Their good to have in the house... Just not for watching ye lady wank

They have hunners of eyes, they see everything!!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This is turning into that song, there was an old lady who swallowed a fly!"

Ah was thinking that...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I canny go spiders wee freaky bastards

Awwwwwwww but they eat flies... fkn HATE flies with a passion - disgusting wee jobbyeaters

But if the spider eats the fly does that not mean they are jobbyeaters as well

And the cow swallows the fly and we have a steak .

Ah thought cows were vegetarians lol - as long as there is wine with that steak ah dinna care though

Sometimes you can't help what "pops into" your mouth and you swallow though.

Shit... Just realised that looks way worse than it sounded.. (*braces himself for the jokes. *)

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *he Regina Phalange OP Woman
over a year ago

Lanarkshire

"This is turning into that song, there was an old lady who swallowed a fly!

Ah was thinking that...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *he Regina Phalange OP Woman
over a year ago

Lanarkshire

"I canny go spiders wee freaky bastards

Awwwwwwww but they eat flies... fkn HATE flies with a passion - disgusting wee jobbyeaters

But if the spider eats the fly does that not mean they are jobbyeaters as well

And the cow swallows the fly and we have a steak .

Ah thought cows were vegetarians lol - as long as there is wine with that steak ah dinna care though

Sometimes you can't help what "pops into" your mouth and you swallow though.

Shit... Just realised that looks way worse than it sounded.. (*braces himself for the jokes. *) "

You knew what you were typing Jack. Ya filthy wee bam!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I canny go spiders wee freaky bastards

Awwwwwwww but they eat flies... fkn HATE flies with a passion - disgusting wee jobbyeaters

But if the spider eats the fly does that not mean they are jobbyeaters as well

And the cow swallows the fly and we have a steak .

Ah thought cows were vegetarians lol - as long as there is wine with that steak ah dinna care though

Sometimes you can't help what "pops into" your mouth and you swallow though.

Shit... Just realised that looks way worse than it sounded.. (*braces himself for the jokes. *) "

I can't think what you mean...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I canny go spiders wee freaky bastards

Awwwwwwww but they eat flies... fkn HATE flies with a passion - disgusting wee jobbyeaters

But if the spider eats the fly does that not mean they are jobbyeaters as well

And the cow swallows the fly and we have a steak .

Ah thought cows were vegetarians lol - as long as there is wine with that steak ah dinna care though

Sometimes you can't help what "pops into" your mouth and you swallow though.

Shit... Just realised that looks way worse than it sounded.. (*braces himself for the jokes. *)

You knew what you were typing Jack. Ya filthy wee bam!

You're right. And I should thank you for destroying my "spidercam".... 400 notes now mush..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I can't kill a spider

. Their good to have in the house... Just not for watching ye lady wank

They have hunners of eyes, they see everything!!!"
hahaha

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A fucking spider ruined my orgasm!!!

I shot off the bed, grabbed a shoe and smacked the wee bastard with it.

I’m now changing my sheets for the wrong reasons.

So, I’m wondering, in the same situation would you do what I did or finish?

If not a spider, apart from your kids walking in

, what would make you stop?"

The Mrs would do exact same thing as you lol , scared shitless of them

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *e DevilMan
over a year ago

Blantyre

Ok , time for a revelation, not the bible kind though. Im shit scared of spiders. Its MSD's job to remove them from the house. I have history of getting her out bed to pull furniture out all over the lounge till she captured the leggy wee freak when it ran under the sofa. I also abandoned my car in the middle of a road when another freaky little shit decided to do a spiderman abseil from my sunvisor right past my fuckin nose while i was driving. So OP i feel yer pain and as for your spider , ahahaha get it up ya. Or should i say . Shoo.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I canny go spiders wee freaky bastards

Can you go a bike?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *he Regina Phalange OP Woman
over a year ago

Lanarkshire

"I canny go spiders wee freaky bastards

Can you go a bike?"

I can’t!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I canny go spiders wee freaky bastards

Can you go a bike?"

Peddle or motor bike

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *he Regina Phalange OP Woman
over a year ago

Lanarkshire

"I canny go spiders wee freaky bastards

Can you go a bike?

Peddle or motor bike "

Either

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I canny go spiders wee freaky bastards

Can you go a bike?

Peddle or motor bike

Either"

I can peddle, all the power of a motor bike between my legs scares me

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A fucking spider ruined my orgasm!!!

I shot off the bed, grabbed a shoe and smacked the wee bastard with it.

I’m now changing my sheets for the wrong reasons.

So, I’m wondering, in the same situation would you do what I did or finish?

If not a spider, apart from your kids walking in

, what would make you stop?

Anyone walking in, it’d be a jump to attention stop or a helloooooooo

Yep, this or the dog watching or a wasp or one of a hundred things. I think the moment is fragile and it could be a long list if you think about it lol

Or as you and the oh are getting it hot and sticky and your about to go the dogs decide now would be a good time to lick that guys arse

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I can't kill a spider

. Their good to have in the house... Just not for watching ye lady wank

They have hunners of eyes, they see everything!!!"

Didney see your shoe coming.lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *he Regina Phalange OP Woman
over a year ago

Lanarkshire

"I canny go spiders wee freaky bastards

Can you go a bike?

Peddle or motor bike

Either

I can peddle, all the power of a motor bike between my legs scares me

Power between my legs sounds good, after all this is how this thread began

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I canny go spiders wee freaky bastards

Can you go a bike?

Peddle or motor bike

Either"

Gosh thought it was just me... canny swim either

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ocky-boyMan
over a year ago

Durness

"The window cleaner....he's not the bonniest."

Need to change your window cleaner lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I canny go spiders wee freaky bastards

Can you go a bike?

Peddle or motor bike

Either

I can peddle, all the power of a motor bike between my legs scares me

Power between my legs sounds good, after all this is how this thread began

Not sure what toys your using if they have the same power as a motor bike

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’ll give you a loan of my motor bike if it’s power you want.

I also had a pet tarantula a number of years ago but the wee shit escaped, must have been the couple next door shagging were more attractive than me

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *edLionScotMan
over a year ago

Edinburgh

This reminds me of another kids's rhyme...

Little Miss Muffet,

lay on her tuffet,

needing an orgasm or two.

When down came a spider,

who wanked off beside her,

so she beat it to death

with her shoe.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *he Regina Phalange OP Woman
over a year ago

Lanarkshire

"This reminds me of another kids's rhyme...

Little Miss Muffet,

lay on her tuffet,

needing an orgasm or two.

When down came a spider,

who wanked off beside her,

so she beat it to death

with her shoe.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This reminds me of another kids's rhyme...

Little Miss Muffet,

lay on her tuffet,

needing an orgasm or two.

When down came a spider,

who wanked off beside her,

so she beat it to death

with her shoe.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A fucking spider ruined my orgasm!!!

I shot off the bed, grabbed a shoe and smacked the wee bastard with it.

I’m now changing my sheets for the wrong reasons.

So, I’m wondering, in the same situation would you do what I did or finish?

If not a spider, apart from your kids walking in

, what would make you stop?"

Poor spider

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread