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"I've just spotted the profile of a really good (non fab) friend's partner/fiance on another site. She'll be devastated if she knew. Do I confront him or tell her? R "I might not be a good idea as it may cause alot of trouble for yourself but at the same time the person should hang there head in shame! Toughie  | |||
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"I've just spotted the profile of a really good (non fab) friend's partner/fiance on another site. She'll be devastated if she knew. Do I confront him or tell her? R
I might not be a good idea as it may cause alot of trouble for yourself but at the same time the person should hang there head in shame! Toughie "I've no idea what to do for the best 
R | |||
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"I've just spotted the profile of a really good (non fab) friend's partner/fiance on another site. She'll be devastated if she knew. Do I confront him or tell her? R "I don't think you need the fab high council to make the decision for you!  | |||
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"I've just spotted the profile of a really good (non fab) friend's partner/fiance on another site. She'll be devastated if she knew. Do I confront him or tell her? R
I don't think you need the fab high council to make the decision for you! "Very true. Just a bit shocked at it. R | |||
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"I've just spotted the profile of a really good (non fab) friend's partner/fiance on another site. She'll be devastated if she knew. Do I confront him or tell her? R
I don't think you need the fab high council to make the decision for you!
Very true. Just a bit shocked at it.
R "Yeah it will be but best to try not get involved unless they piss you off  | |||
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"Unfortunately I know I can't leave it. R "This is devastating tho poor woman, see this is what I don't understand why go in to a relashionship but want other people! If she let him yeah different story but need to find out everything but shame on the fella! | |||
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"Unfortunately I know I can't leave it. R "Have you never played with married guys? If so this is complete role reversal and you'd be highly hypocritical to take the high moral ground on this occasion when you may have turned a blind eye towards it previously. Why not message the guy discretely and say you've seen his profile. You may have no idea what's going on in their relationship  | |||
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"Unfortunately I know I can't leave it. R
Have you never played with married guys?
If so this is complete role reversal and you'd be highly hypocritical to take the high moral ground on this occasion when you may have turned a blind eye towards it previously.
Why not message the guy discretely and say you've seen his profile. You may have no idea what's going on in their relationship "A seat has just opened up on the fab high council if you'd like it? 
John | |||
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"Unfortunately I know I can't leave it. R
Have you never played with married guys?
If so this is complete role reversal and you'd be highly hypocritical to take the high moral ground on this occasion when you may have turned a blind eye towards it previously.
Why not message the guy discretely and say you've seen his profile. You may have no idea what's going on in their relationship
A seat has just opened up on the fab high council if you'd like it?
John "John Haha | |||
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"I've just spotted the profile of a really good (non fab) friend's partner/fiance on another site. She'll be devastated if she knew. Do I confront him or tell her? R "its a tricky one if you tell her are you willing to accept the consiquences if they split knowing it was you who outed him? You just dont know enough about the reasons hes here ie he might be here because they have an open relationship . If you feel you need to do anything then tell him you know who he is and if he is on here cheating give him the option to leave telling him you wont tell her provided he closes the account . The only problem of choosing to confront him is he could always close the account and open another one so that would be pointless. At the end of the day everyone whos on here deserves discretion even him Im sure you know many who are on here without consent but you wouldnt bat an eyelid about it . | |||
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"I've just spotted the profile of a really good (non fab) friend's partner/fiance on another site. She'll be devastated if she knew. Do I confront him or tell her? R "Getting involved is wrong, pure and simple in my book. You have no idea what the dynamics of their relationship is ,just as i guess your friend knows nothing about your Fab life. If you feel you need to adopt a moral high ground then quietly message him you know, then leave it alone. I am on Fab and also other sites, with permission. If a friend of MSD said she has seen me on another site we have a cover story for it but thats us. Leave well alone and display that discretion you would expect in your private life too. Yes hes cheating and yes its wrong and yes its your friend but still does not allow you to be judge and jury on their lives. Another wee side note, i cheated for 30 years and never got caught, i confessed and was a very very lucky man that MSD forgave me, but now we are happier than ever before. If she was ever told by a friend about me she would have been forced into a decision she might not have liked but felt backed into a corner. Dump me or face the knowledge that people knew i cheated and she took me back, a lose lose situationfor her. In my opinion steer clear of it , let it run its course. Or tell her and fuck up her life. She might even know anyway and chooses to turn a blind eye, again you telling her backs her into a corner. If you still feel the need to do something,anything, then go kick him in the balls and scare the shit out him if you want , that will probably be enough to sort things out anyways .Sry for the rant but people should not get involved in this type of scenario in my opinion. Good luck OP plz think things through completely before acting. Xxx | |||
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"Unfortunately I know I can't leave it. R "I'm thinking of my best mates and was about to say anger would get the better of me and I'd go in guns blazing. ....but the other folks are right here. You don't know the back story and if, like TD said, you've ever played with a married man then you can't judge. I'd be sorely tempted to send him a one liner telling him he's a cunt though! Sorry, it's a shite situation to be in. X | |||
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"I've just spotted the profile of a really good (non fab) friend's partner/fiance on another site. She'll be devastated if she knew. Do I confront him or tell her? R "It goes without saying, confront him as its your very good friend getting hurt | |||
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"Unfortunately I know I can't leave it. R
Have you never played with married guys?
If so this is complete role reversal and you'd be highly hypocritical to take the high moral ground on this occasion when you may have turned a blind eye towards it previously.
Why not message the guy discretely and say you've seen his profile. You may have no idea what's going on in their relationship
A seat has just opened up on the fab high council if you'd like it?
John "I'll respectfully decline if that's ok.
Would rather poke my own eyes out than have to sit with some on there! | |||
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"Unfortunately I know I can't leave it. R
Have you never played with married guys?
If so this is complete role reversal and you'd be highly hypocritical to take the high moral ground on this occasion when you may have turned a blind eye towards it previously.
Why not message the guy discretely and say you've seen his profile. You may have no idea what's going on in their relationship "You know I have, but only on fab. I stopped meeting married guys when one got caught as a result of being with me. My first thought is to message him rather than her. If he stops then does she need to know? I just hate the thought of her being deceived. R | |||
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"Ok, so another question. For those that are married/attached ...... If you found out your partner was even looking elsewhere without your knowledge, would you want to know? If you found out & you knew a really good friend knew & didn't say, how would you feel towards them for not saying? R "I'd want to know. | |||
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"Unfortunately I know I can't leave it. R
Have you never played with married guys?
If so this is complete role reversal and you'd be highly hypocritical to take the high moral ground on this occasion when you may have turned a blind eye towards it previously.
Why not message the guy discretely and say you've seen his profile. You may have no idea what's going on in their relationship
You know I have, but only on fab. I stopped meeting married guys when one got caught as a result of being with me.
My first thought is to message him rather than her. If he stops then does she need to know? I just hate the thought of her being deceived.
R "Can I ask do you know for sure she’s being deceived? | |||
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"If I was married and he was cheating and I found out one of my good friends knew I would be more gutted that they didn’t tell me. "This for me aswell.... But jusg be mindful that you will need to explain how you found out x | |||
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"Ok, so another question. For those that are married/attached ...... If you found out your partner was even looking elsewhere without your knowledge, would you want to know? If you found out & you knew a really good friend knew & didn't say, how would you feel towards them for not saying? R "How would they ever know that you knew?. Just keep quiet and let people live their lives the way they choose. Its a tough situation but by you getting involved will just make things worse. | |||
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"Switch it. If you found her on here would you tell him? "I wouldn't, which is a complete and utter double standard I know. But I'd silently judge her if she was outwardly giving the impression of being blissfully happy, planning a wedding and fucking a decent guy about. | |||
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"Switch it. If you found her on here would you tell him?
I wouldn't, which is a complete and utter double standard I know.
But I'd silently judge her if she was outwardly giving the impression of being blissfully happy, planning a wedding and fucking a decent guy about."exactly! I think most would do the same which is a total double standard? | |||
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"Ok, so another question. For those that are married/attached ...... If you found out your partner was even looking elsewhere without your knowledge, would you want to know? If you found out & you knew a really good friend knew & didn't say, how would you feel towards them for not saying? R "Id say most would want to know but I find it all just a little bit hypocritical if the person outing him has been on a site like this meeting married or attatched people themselves to be honest | |||
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"I've just spotted the profile of a really good (non fab) friend's partner/fiance on another site. She'll be devastated if she knew. Do I confront him or tell her? R "My personal opinion on this is to confront the person in the wrong and give them an opportunity to do the right thing, what their right thing is up to them and if need be then be the friend who’s there to pick up the pieces xx | |||
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"I've just spotted the profile of a really good (non fab) friend's partner/fiance on another site. She'll be devastated if she knew. Do I confront him or tell her? R its a tricky one if you tell her are you willing to accept the consiquences if they split knowing it was you who outed him?
You just dont know enough about the reasons hes here ie he might be here because they have an open relationship .
Id do this confront him not her ??
If you feel you need to do anything then tell him you know who he is and if he is on here cheating give him the option to leave telling him you wont tell her provided he closes the account .
The only problem of choosing to confront him is he could always close the account and open another one so that would be pointless.
At the end of the day everyone whos on here deserves discretion even him Im sure you know many who are on here without consent but you wouldnt bat an eyelid about it ." | |||
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"Switch it. If you found her on here would you tell him?
I wouldn't, which is a complete and utter double standard I know.
But I'd silently judge her if she was outwardly giving the impression of being blissfully happy, planning a wedding and fucking a decent guy about.exactly! I think most would do the same which is a total double standard?"Hands up to being a judgemental wee boot | |||
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"If I was married and he was cheating and I found out one of my good friends knew I would be more gutted that they didn’t tell me. "The problem is often just being the person to tell her will taint the rest of their friendship ... very often its shoot the messenger ... the OP is in a lose lose position ... she just beeds to decide which side sits with her best | |||
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"Switch it. If you found her on here would you tell him?
I wouldn't, which is a complete and utter double standard I know.
But I'd silently judge her if she was outwardly giving the impression of being blissfully happy, planning a wedding and fucking a decent guy about.exactly! I think most would do the same which is a total double standard?
Hands up to being a judgemental wee boot "  | |||
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"Ok, so another question. For those that are married/attached ...... If you found out your partner was even looking elsewhere without your knowledge, would you want to know? If you found out & you knew a really good friend knew & didn't say, how would you feel towards them for not saying? R "Rosie this is a totally unfair question. If you say nothing, then she will NEVER know you knew . Thats why your question is unfair. The only way she will know is if you confront her partner and when or if he ever does get caught he decided to tell his partner out of revenge , ohhh by the way your friend Rosie knew, she warned me to stop 3 years ago etc etc etc. Another reason to stay out of it. | |||
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"Ok, so another question. For those that are married/attached ...... If you found out your partner was even looking elsewhere without your knowledge, would you want to know? If you found out & you knew a really good friend knew & didn't say, how would you feel towards them for not saying? R
Rosie this is a totally unfair question. If you say nothing, then she will NEVER know you knew . Thats why your question is unfair. The only way she will know is if you confront her partner and when or if he ever does get caught he decided to tell his partner out of revenge , ohhh by the way your friend Rosie knew, she warned me to stop 3 years ago etc etc etc. Another reason to stay out of it. "Rosie you telling her puts you and your friend both in a lose lose situation. The only win is , yes she finds out and dumps him , win/ lose, you , do the honourable thing and possibly never have the same relationship with your friend as you caused the break up of her fiance, win / lose for you too. I know its not YOU causing the breakup but in this scenario are you 100% sure your friendship is stronger than the love she has for her fiance. ? | |||
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"Ok, so another question. For those that are married/attached ...... If you found out your partner was even looking elsewhere without your knowledge, would you want to know? If you found out & you knew a really good friend knew & didn't say, how would you feel towards them for not saying? R "That happened to me. A mutual friend knew that I had starting seeing men and felt torn. She didn't reveal my secret and said it was up to me. When my then gf found out she was doubly devastated. It's really affected her trust in People. I should have had the balls to tell her. Her long-term friendship was completely over after it too. It was all horrendous. The friend should have told her. | |||
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"Ok, so another question. For those that are married/attached ...... If you found out your partner was even looking elsewhere without your knowledge, would you want to know? If you found out & you knew a really good friend knew & didn't say, how would you feel towards them for not saying? R "If it was me I would want to know, And if a friend of mine knew about it and never told me then I'd prob fall out with them. But I can't fault the advice already been offered, I don't know what I would do in your situation. Mr | |||
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"Switch it. If you found her on here would you tell him? "It wasn't on fab, but if I saw her I would speak to her. R | |||
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