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"You're very nosey " And you love your one line boring posts but you don't see me going on about it | |||
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"You're very nosey And you love your one line boring posts but you don't see me going on about it " Ouch | |||
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"Have you ever hurt yourself during sex, what happened? " Nope, im a tough cookie although friction burns can sting like hell and take ages to heal | |||
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"I fell off a bed once but was fine. However I once met someone and apparently I broke his fingers. I think he was just a wimp and a drama queen though " Finger blasting can be dangerous, take heed guys! | |||
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"We had some pretty vigorous sex on a rug which resulted in an uncomfortable, but soon forgotten friction burn on her _pine. When it scabbed over a few days later she completely forgot its origins and ended up asking her mum to take a look as this strange thing on her back ... she now knows her mum knew exactly what it was Still has a wee scar to this day." Oh no | |||
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"We had some pretty vigorous sex on a rug which resulted in an uncomfortable, but soon forgotten friction burn on her _pine. When it scabbed over a few days later she completely forgot its origins and ended up asking her mum to take a look as this strange thing on her back ... she now knows her mum knew exactly what it was Still has a wee scar to this day." You haven't pumped me have you? Pretty much same thing happened to me. Wee Mammy didn't know whether to drown me in Lourdes water or ch*ke me with her Rosary beads | |||
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"I've fallen off the bed straight onto my back before, carried on like a trooper though " Was it bad of me to laugh at this? | |||
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"Not me. I wear full PPE at all times during sex including a harness, hard hat and hi vis vest. Can't be too careful. Sometimes I also make the beeping sound when reversing out. " Oddly this sounds quite sexy | |||
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"Not me. I wear full PPE at all times during sex including a harness, hard hat and hi vis vest. Can't be too careful. Sometimes I also make the beeping sound when reversing out. Oddly this sounds quite sexy " It's the beeping, isn't it. The beeping gets them all. | |||
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"Have you ever hurt yourself during sex, what happened? " Yep more than once, guys being too big and too keen been torn and bruised before, nothing worse you’re having fun then ooh that’s a bit sore and again nope nope we gotta stop that’s just not working and it puts me right off even attempting on going near the more endowed men | |||
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"You're very nosey And you love your one line boring posts but you don't see me going on about it " | |||
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"Banjo string " Few folk I know have had this happen and doesn’t sound good ouch | |||
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"Banjo string Few folk I know have had this happen and doesn’t sound good ouch " The worsts the fear of peeing for weeks while it heals | |||
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"Banjo string " You'd be better off being hit with a banjo during sex. Repeatedly. | |||
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"Does nobody ever just have good sex without incident? Is that just too normal, not dramatic enough?" Yeah. Want to start a thread on it? | |||
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" Sometimes I also make the beeping sound when reversing out. " Is that you pretending to be a bin lorry? | |||
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"Semen in the eye is the worst so far....thankfully. Stings like a mammy pumper, doesn't it." You need jizz goggles. You'll never get pink eye again with those bad boys | |||
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"Does nobody ever just have good sex without incident? Is that just too normal, not dramatic enough?" The OP isn't about good sex.. It's about hurting yourself during sex... Face palm | |||
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"Does nobody ever just have good sex without incident? Is that just too normal, not dramatic enough? Yeah. Want to start a thread on it?" And risk getting no replies? My ego couldn't withstand that | |||
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"Does nobody ever just have good sex without incident? Is that just too normal, not dramatic enough? The OP isn't about good sex.. It's about hurting yourself during sex... Face palm " Ok boss | |||
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"Ffs spit it out!!!" Think that was another question on another forum.. | |||
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"Ffs spit it out!!! Think that was another question on another forum.." | |||
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" You two gliching " They're choosing their words carefully | |||
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"Awwwww...got it. I'm trying to say a word that isn't allowed. Epic blonde moment." Yeah but wee was good too.. Pissing all over the thread. | |||
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"Awwwww...got it. I'm trying to say a word that isn't allowed. Epic blonde moment. Yeah but wee was good too.. Pissing all over the thread. " Think you should be on the golden shower thread | |||
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"Does nobody ever just have good sex without incident? Is that just too normal, not dramatic enough?" 99.9999% of the time. Accidents do happen though. V x | |||
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"Ffs spit it out!!! Think that was another question on another forum.." | |||
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"Snapped my Banjo string " Yup not good happened to me twice now John | |||
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"Snapped my Banjo string Yup not good happened to me twice now John " You have 2 banjo strings? | |||
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"Awwwww...got it. I'm trying to say a word that isn't allowed. Epic blonde moment. Yeah but wee was good too.. Pissing all over the thread. " Calm down | |||
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"Younger days my then girlfriend pulled a bit hard.. tore the skin connecting foreskin to the head.. Oh the blood... it was up the walls. No long lasting effects though. " This. Didn’t like it. Careful of proper lubrication ever since (the right kind, not blood ) | |||
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"Awwwww...got it. I'm trying to say a word that isn't allowed. Epic blonde moment. Yeah but wee was good too.. Pissing all over the thread. Calm down " You should know by now I'm always calm. | |||
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"Not me. I wear full PPE at all times during sex including a harness, hard hat and hi vis vest. Can't be too careful. Sometimes I also make the beeping sound when reversing out. Oddly this sounds quite sexy It's the beeping, isn't it. The beeping gets them all. " Caution this vehicle is cumming! PPE is very important especially safety glasses. Could have saved wee doggy a lot of pain! | |||
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"Never hurt my self but I did crack someones ribs having sex " CPR isn't sex. | |||
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"Semen in the eye is the worst so far....thankfully. Stings like a mammy pumper, doesn't it. You need jizz goggles. You'll never get pink eye again with those bad boys " Is this another item in your basic blow job kit....along with your gobble bobble? . I like a woman who's prepared! | |||
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"Have you ever hurt yourself during sex, what happened? " You ran out of ideas | |||
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"Younger days my then girlfriend pulled a bit hard.. tore the skin connecting foreskin to the head.. Oh the blood... it was up the walls. No long lasting effects though. This. Didn’t like it. Careful of proper lubrication ever since (the right kind, not blood )" Aye..hard lesson learned. I remember being so embarrassed I just went to sleep and hoped I didn't bleed to death..haha | |||
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"Younger days my then girlfriend pulled a bit hard.. tore the skin connecting foreskin to the head.. Oh the blood... it was up the walls. No long lasting effects though. This. Didn’t like it. Careful of proper lubrication ever since (the right kind, not blood ) Aye..hard lesson learned. I remember being so embarrassed I just went to sleep and hoped I didn't bleed to death..haha" Wait til she's turned on in future | |||
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"Wait til she's turned on in future " Haha..fine advice.. though the instrument of pain was in fact her hand. Not sure sweatier hands would have had me quite as aroused..but may have avoided the pain. | |||
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"Semen in the eye is the worst so far....thankfully. Stings like a mammy pumper, doesn't it. You need jizz goggles. You'll never get pink eye again with those bad boys Is this another item in your basic blow job kit....along with your gobble bobble? . I like a woman who's prepared!" Fail to prepare, prepare to fail. That's my expert cock handler kit. I've got gobble bobbles, jizz goggles, family sized tub of vaseline, cock rings, vibrating cock rings, cock cages, penis beakers and polo mints. Not forgetting the condoms of many sizes of course | |||
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"Semen in the eye is the worst so far....thankfully. Stings like a mammy pumper, doesn't it. You need jizz goggles. You'll never get pink eye again with those bad boys Is this another item in your basic blow job kit....along with your gobble bobble? . I like a woman who's prepared! Fail to prepare, prepare to fail. That's my expert cock handler kit. I've got gobble bobbles, jizz goggles, family sized tub of vaseline, cock rings, vibrating cock rings, cock cages, penis beakers and polo mints. Not forgetting the condoms of many sizes of course " But do you have a suitcase? | |||
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"Wait til she's turned on in future Haha..fine advice.. though the instrument of pain was in fact her hand. Not sure sweatier hands would have had me quite as aroused..but may have avoided the pain." sweaty hands | |||
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"Semen in the eye is the worst so far....thankfully. Stings like a mammy pumper, doesn't it. You need jizz goggles. You'll never get pink eye again with those bad boys Is this another item in your basic blow job kit....along with your gobble bobble? . I like a woman who's prepared! Fail to prepare, prepare to fail. That's my expert cock handler kit. I've got gobble bobbles, jizz goggles, family sized tub of vaseline, cock rings, vibrating cock rings, cock cages, penis beakers and polo mints. Not forgetting the condoms of many sizes of course But do you have a suitcase?" Why you wanting to climb in it? I'll look out the padlock | |||
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"Semen in the eye is the worst so far....thankfully. Stings like a mammy pumper, doesn't it. You need jizz goggles. You'll never get pink eye again with those bad boys Is this another item in your basic blow job kit....along with your gobble bobble? . I like a woman who's prepared! Fail to prepare, prepare to fail. That's my expert cock handler kit. I've got gobble bobbles, jizz goggles, family sized tub of vaseline, cock rings, vibrating cock rings, cock cages, penis beakers and polo mints. Not forgetting the condoms of many sizes of course " No chance of a "quickie" with you then. | |||
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"Semen in the eye is the worst so far....thankfully. Stings like a mammy pumper, doesn't it. You need jizz goggles. You'll never get pink eye again with those bad boys Is this another item in your basic blow job kit....along with your gobble bobble? . I like a woman who's prepared! Fail to prepare, prepare to fail. That's my expert cock handler kit. I've got gobble bobbles, jizz goggles, family sized tub of vaseline, cock rings, vibrating cock rings, cock cages, penis beakers and polo mints. Not forgetting the condoms of many sizes of course But do you have a suitcase? Why you wanting to climb in it? I'll look out the padlock " No silly...for your sex kit of course | |||
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"I almost drowned today. Does that count? :-/ " Only if you were getting off on it. | |||
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"I almost drowned today. Does that count? :-/ " What happened? | |||
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"I almost drowned today. Does that count? :-/ What happened? " She gushes a lot. And a lot. And a lot | |||
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"Semen in the eye is the worst so far....thankfully. Stings like a mammy pumper, doesn't it. You need jizz goggles. You'll never get pink eye again with those bad boys Is this another item in your basic blow job kit....along with your gobble bobble? . I like a woman who's prepared! Fail to prepare, prepare to fail. That's my expert cock handler kit. I've got gobble bobbles, jizz goggles, family sized tub of vaseline, cock rings, vibrating cock rings, cock cages, penis beakers and polo mints. Not forgetting the condoms of many sizes of course " Penis beaker! | |||
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"Semen in the eye is the worst so far....thankfully. Stings like a mammy pumper, doesn't it. You need jizz goggles. You'll never get pink eye again with those bad boys Is this another item in your basic blow job kit....along with your gobble bobble? . I like a woman who's prepared! Fail to prepare, prepare to fail. That's my expert cock handler kit. I've got gobble bobbles, jizz goggles, family sized tub of vaseline, cock rings, vibrating cock rings, cock cages, penis beakers and polo mints. Not forgetting the condoms of many sizes of course Penis beaker! " Gobble bobbles made me | |||
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"Woman took a chunk out my knob while giving me head blood everywhere " Ahh is that why everyone calls you half tadger todd | |||
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"Woman took a chunk out my knob while giving me head blood everywhere Ahh is that why everyone calls you half tadger todd" That my excuse for its size | |||
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"Woman took a chunk out my knob while giving me head blood everywhere Ahh is that why everyone calls you half tadger todd That my excuse for its size " Oh must be even smaller now then | |||
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"Banjo string " | |||
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"Its not painful but a couple of times i have burst a blood vessel under my tongue which turns it black. Got a fright the first time i saw it but soon realised how it happened." Jeez how did you do that? | |||
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"Woman took a chunk out my knob while giving me head blood everywhere Ahh is that why everyone calls you half tadger todd That my excuse for its size Comes with a magnifying glass Oh must be even smaller now then " | |||
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"Woman took a chunk out my knob while giving me head blood everywhere " where there's blame there's a claim...just saying | |||
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"Its not painful but a couple of times i have burst a blood vessel under my tongue which turns it black. Got a fright the first time i saw it but soon realised how it happened. Jeez how did you do that? " Mind blowing suction I imagine! | |||
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"Its not painful but a couple of times i have burst a blood vessel under my tongue which turns it black. Got a fright the first time i saw it but soon realised how it happened. Jeez how did you do that? Mind blowing suction I imagine!" I have a vision of a wee shrivelled up ball sack now | |||
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"Woman took a chunk out my knob while giving me head blood everywhere where there's blame there's a claim...just saying " Do you think the injury lawyers for you off the telly would take the case or should I ask the lawyers on the job thread for advice | |||
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"Its not painful but a couple of times i have burst a blood vessel under my tongue which turns it black. Got a fright the first time i saw it but soon realised how it happened. Jeez how did you do that? Mind blowing suction I imagine! I have a vision of a wee shrivelled up ball sack now " Not so much suction more wriggling my tongue around at funny angles very fast. | |||
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"I have a few wee bruises just now.. I bruise easily tho and it was worth it x" I get that look sometimes after just a night out! I'm sure someone beats me in my sleep when I get home! | |||
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"I once had my ego bruised, does that count? " Yep that will do. It can hurt just as much | |||
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"I once smashed my face of the bedside table not only did I I have a cut and a black eye the glass top slid off and smashed This was in a hotel room where I worked so I had to come up with an excuse for my face whilst being shocked that customer had broke their bedside table" Did they believe you when you were standing there with your face all battered? | |||
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"I once smashed my face of the bedside table not only did I I have a cut and a black eye the glass top slid off and smashed This was in a hotel room where I worked so I had to come up with an excuse for my face whilst being shocked that customer had broke their bedside table Did they believe you when you were standing there with your face all battered? " I think so they must have done I would've been sacked otherwise | |||
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"Have you ever hurt yourself during sex, what happened? " No but in 1997 I almost died during sex. Her husband came home early but I was faster than the big slug. | |||
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"Have you ever hurt yourself during sex, what happened? No but in 1997 I almost died during sex. Her husband came home early but I was faster than the big slug. " I have visions of you jumping out a window in your boxers | |||
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"Have you ever hurt yourself during sex, what happened? No but in 1997 I almost died during sex. Her husband came home early but I was faster than the big slug. I have visions of you jumping out a window in your boxers " Almost. It was out the patio doors and over onto Bothwell Castle golf course. It’s hard doing the walk of shame in a suit ON A GOLF COURSE. | |||
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"Have you ever hurt yourself during sex, what happened? No but in 1997 I almost died during sex. Her husband came home early but I was faster than the big slug. I have visions of you jumping out a window in your boxers Almost. It was out the patio doors and over onto Bothwell Castle golf course. It’s hard doing the walk of shame in a suit ON A GOLF COURSE. " Was it worth it though | |||
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"Have you ever hurt yourself during sex, what happened? No but in 1997 I almost died during sex. Her husband came home early but I was faster than the big slug. I have visions of you jumping out a window in your boxers Almost. It was out the patio doors and over onto Bothwell Castle golf course. It’s hard doing the walk of shame in a suit ON A GOLF COURSE. " Birthday suit? | |||
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"Semen in the eye is the worst so far....thankfully. Stings like a mammy pumper, doesn't it. You need jizz goggles. You'll never get pink eye again with those bad boys Is this another item in your basic blow job kit....along with your gobble bobble? . I like a woman who's prepared!" I’ve not heard gobble bobble for ages! Thanks for this, made me proper belly laugh x | |||
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"Lots but thats cause I has doing it after major abdominal surgery and would be broken for 3/4 days after but totally worth it. Did also cum so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. " Japs? | |||
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"Lots but thats cause I has doing it after major abdominal surgery and would be broken for 3/4 days after but totally worth it. Did also cum so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. Japs? Nope optical " | |||
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"Have you ever hurt yourself during sex, what happened? No but in 1997 I almost died during sex. Her husband came home early but I was faster than the big slug. I have visions of you jumping out a window in your boxers Almost. It was out the patio doors and over onto Bothwell Castle golf course. It’s hard doing the walk of shame in a suit ON A GOLF COURSE. Birthday suit?" No, thankfully it was just a two piece | |||
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"Lots but thats cause I has doing it after major abdominal surgery and would be broken for 3/4 days after but totally worth it. Did also cum so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. " Jesus, Mary and Joseph.....that one must have blown your socks off too! | |||
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"Semen in the eye is the worst so far....thankfully. Stings like a mammy pumper, doesn't it. You need jizz goggles. You'll never get pink eye again with those bad boys Is this another item in your basic blow job kit....along with your gobble bobble? . I like a woman who's prepared! Fail to prepare, prepare to fail. That's my expert cock handler kit. I've got gobble bobbles, jizz goggles, family sized tub of vaseline, cock rings, vibrating cock rings, cock cages, penis beakers and polo mints. Not forgetting the condoms of many sizes of course Penis beaker! " I thought it said breaker | |||
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"That is a hell of a bump, i miss Fabfem tho " Be careful you never know what can be trawled up from the forums past . | |||
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"That is a hell of a bump, i miss Fabfem tho Be careful you never know what can be trawled up from the forums past . " Very true | |||
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"That is a hell of a bump, i miss Fabfem tho Be careful you never know what can be trawled up from the forums past . Very true " Who gives a f*** FFS !! | |||
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"That is a hell of a bump, i miss Fabfem tho Be careful you never know what can be trawled up from the forums past . " Go on then i dare you hehehe | |||
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"Had a contraceptive coil accidently pulled out once " Jesus Christ, my cervix howled upon reading that. | |||
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"Nothing to add really, apart from the fact I love this thread, some great comments on here " This | |||
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"Had a contraceptive coil accidently pulled out once " I'm terrified of this happening! Worst I've had are leg cramps and cum in the eye, which stings so bad. | |||
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"Had a contraceptive coil accidently pulled out once Jesus Christ, my cervix howled upon reading that." Yeah was a bit surprising - carried on like a trooper though | |||
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"Had a contraceptive coil accidently pulled out once Jesus Christ, my cervix howled upon reading that. Yeah was a bit surprising - carried on like a trooper though " Dafuq?!?!?? What did it catch on to a Prince Albert? | |||
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"Had a contraceptive coil accidently pulled out once Jesus Christ, my cervix howled upon reading that. Yeah was a bit surprising - carried on like a trooper though Dafuq?!?!?? What did it catch on to a Prince Albert? " Yeah, how did it happen? Was there blood? I've not had mine long so not really had any meets with it x | |||
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"Had a contraceptive coil accidently pulled out once Jesus Christ, my cervix howled upon reading that. Yeah was a bit surprising - carried on like a trooper though Dafuq?!?!?? What did it catch on to a Prince Albert? Yeah, how did it happen? Was there blood? I've not had mine long so not really had any meets with it x" Oops sorry just seen this... Well lets just say there was a lot of hand and lube around that area so didn't really hurt - at the time! And no blood either. | |||
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"Thankfully not. But by heck my poor bed has taken a good few poundings. " Oooofftt hello | |||
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"Had a contraceptive coil accidently pulled out once Jesus Christ, my cervix howled upon reading that. Yeah was a bit surprising - carried on like a trooper though Dafuq?!?!?? What did it catch on to a Prince Albert? Yeah, how did it happen? Was there blood? I've not had mine long so not really had any meets with it x Oops sorry just seen this... Well lets just say there was a lot of hand and lube around that area so didn't really hurt - at the time! And no blood either. " You must have got a helluva shock though lol x | |||
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"Had a contraceptive coil accidently pulled out once Jesus Christ, my cervix howled upon reading that. Yeah was a bit surprising - carried on like a trooper though Dafuq?!?!?? What did it catch on to a Prince Albert? Yeah, how did it happen? Was there blood? I've not had mine long so not really had any meets with it x Oops sorry just seen this... Well lets just say there was a lot of hand and lube around that area so didn't really hurt - at the time! And no blood either. You must have got a helluva shock though lol x" Oh definitely I was more annoyed at having a three week wait to get a new one though | |||
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"Had a contraceptive coil accidently pulled out once Jesus Christ, my cervix howled upon reading that. Yeah was a bit surprising - carried on like a trooper though Dafuq?!?!?? What did it catch on to a Prince Albert? Yeah, how did it happen? Was there blood? I've not had mine long so not really had any meets with it x Oops sorry just seen this... Well lets just say there was a lot of hand and lube around that area so didn't really hurt - at the time! And no blood either. You must have got a helluva shock though lol x Oh definitely I was more annoyed at having a three week wait to get a new one though " Lol very true, still there’s other ways to pass the time aherm coff coff | |||
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"That is a hell of a bump, i miss Fabfem tho " yup | |||
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"Had a contraceptive coil accidently pulled out once Jesus Christ, my cervix howled upon reading that. Yeah was a bit surprising - carried on like a trooper though Dafuq?!?!?? What did it catch on to a Prince Albert? Yeah, how did it happen? Was there blood? I've not had mine long so not really had any meets with it x Oops sorry just seen this... Well lets just say there was a lot of hand and lube around that area so didn't really hurt - at the time! And no blood either. You must have got a helluva shock though lol x Oh definitely I was more annoyed at having a three week wait to get a new one though Lol very true, still there’s other ways to pass the time aherm coff coff " I'm sure I couldn't possibly comment | |||
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"Had a contraceptive coil accidently pulled out once Jesus Christ, my cervix howled upon reading that. Yeah was a bit surprising - carried on like a trooper though Dafuq?!?!?? What did it catch on to a Prince Albert? Yeah, how did it happen? Was there blood? I've not had mine long so not really had any meets with it x Oops sorry just seen this... Well lets just say there was a lot of hand and lube around that area so didn't really hurt - at the time! And no blood either. You must have got a helluva shock though lol x Oh definitely I was more annoyed at having a three week wait to get a new one though Lol very true, still there’s other ways to pass the time aherm coff coff I'm sure I couldn't possibly comment " Your silence tells its own tale young lady | |||
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"We had some pretty vigorous sex on a rug which resulted in an uncomfortable, but soon forgotten friction burn on her _pine. When it scabbed over a few days later she completely forgot its origins and ended up asking her mum to take a look as this strange thing on her back ... she now knows her mum knew exactly what it was Still has a wee scar to this day. You haven't pumped me have you? Pretty much same thing happened to me. Wee Mammy didn't know whether to drown me in Lourdes water or ch*ke me with her Rosary beads " This made actually LOL | |||
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"Not me. I wear full PPE at all times during sex including a harness, hard hat and hi vis vest. Can't be too careful. Sometimes I also make the beeping sound when reversing out. " Safety first | |||
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"Squashed a poor guys head with my thighs while having an orgasm and pulled a muscle, had a limp for days and had to tell work colleagues I fell down my steps " | |||
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"Have you ever hurt yourself during sex, what happened? " Broke my finger once. Was fingering a girl, slipped out without me realising cos I was going pretty quick, she moved slightly so as I went back in I hit the outside, bending my finger as I did so. Was brutal | |||
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"Having fun with another couple at a club, I (mrs) fell off the bed and broke my wrist " Was that put down as a riding accident xx xx J | |||
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"Have you ever hurt yourself during sex, what happened? Broke my finger once. Was fingering a girl, slipped out without me realising cos I was going pretty quick, she moved slightly so as I went back in I hit the outside, bending my finger as I did so. Was brutal " How hard were you jabbing? | |||
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"Have you ever hurt yourself during sex, what happened? Broke my finger once. Was fingering a girl, slipped out without me realising cos I was going pretty quick, she moved slightly so as I went back in I hit the outside, bending my finger as I did so. Was brutal How hard were you jabbing? " Too f******* hard it seems I've just put it down as a life lesson. Don't always do as a woman says. Even if it is "harder" | |||
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