FabSwingers.com forum: "The Birds And The Bees" did you ever get "The Talk" from "The Parents" lol

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Or Sex Education to me and you

I can see it just now the door opening my Dad walking in rather sheepishly and sitting down on the bed(cough,cough)then with a middle finger held out and making a circle on the other hand then making a poking motion..i knew my Dad had come looking for some sex advice

lol That was a joke honest

To tell the truth Sex Education or The Birds And The Bees was never mentioned in our house(thankfully) as there are just some things you do not want to hear from your parents...or catching them doggie style lol

Even watching the telly with my parents and then some nudity on screen had me squirming in my chair wishing i had a paper to hold up to block there gaze out..The Herald paper just to hide lol,we were just a regular family thank god i would have been horrified if on Sundays my Dad would shout out "After you eat your vegetables we are going to talk Fallopian Tubes and Babies,then it's Sperm and Sodomy" it could have been worse i guess can you imagine if they were nudists can you imagine being on holiday with them and being the Umpire as they played mixed doubles..on that note do you still get conkers at this time of year.

My own sex education lessons came from friends at school via scud books that needed a shoe horn to prize them open

forget about swine flu how no one came down with the bubonic plague after handling those books i will never know lol.The pages looked as if they had been shot over more times than Sarajevo,then the news from school was that we were going to get sex education talk in class..i was in gammon flap heaven

I had seen 2 dogs in the street shagging before so i thought i knew it all

..Later that week at school we got our first sex education lesson the Biology teacher took great delight in telling us about the reproductive life...of plants...fucking plants..not even a hint of a pussy,you could almost hear a pin drop in that class,we left that class more fucked up than we had went in..the joys of childhood eh lol

So what was a Vulva,what was Erogenous Zones.A Vulva i thought the maths teacher drove one of those and he wasn't allowed to park it in the Erogenous Zone lol..Thankfully it all worked out in the end (i think),no fucking internet to help out back then-school memories you have got to love them.

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By *adcowWoman
over a year ago

kirkcaldy

Never got the birds and bees talk from mine....my mum just handed me a leaflet that was doing the rounds back in the day showing the reproductive side of things.

Tho I think I learned more from my dads porn magazines I found under their bed lol.

Those letters that were printed in Mayfair, Escort and Hustler were good educational material

No real embarrassment factor in our family tho after dad caught me in the act on my first time, watching porn films with my parents the eve of ma wedding(me and mum laffing ourselves silly - dad and my ex squirming with embarrasment for the poor guys on screen lol)

What did I do with my kids - gave them a pack of condoms when they turned 13 after hearing a girl in eldests class fell pregnant at that age(now has 3 kids at 16) and told them if they ever wanted to know anything to ask me. Tho not sure if they been used yet and don't really want to ask lol.

I can see the youngest turning oot tae be a horny cow like her mother when she#s older lol God help the lads of fife then hehe

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

my talk consisted of the words "be careful"!!!!! not sure if they ment be careful crossing the road, be careful u dont drink too much etc but that was about the jist of that lol

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By *atchnJezzCouple
over a year ago

helensburgh

Can't remember a sex education talk at my school, tho I remember the "period" talk, what joy and the little party bags we got given afterwards.

Sex education for me was a book me mam gave me, can't remember what it was called, and then finding their porn and toy stash one day, was great fun!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

nope never got that talk from my parents and if anything with sex came on the tele it was quickly turned over.my dad even phoned them 1 night and complained about it to the bbc.

i did not even get sex education at school as i was mostly out fishing every friday when we got it. buti did have a talk with our son about it.and he knew allready as i found 4 packs of condoms in his fishing back when i was looking for some of my stuff he had nicked.

mr me.

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By *fcarlesbergmadeswingersCouple
over a year ago

Wallsend

i didnt get any sex education so went to library to read for my self ah they joy of sex book.

the found porn in my music teachers cupboard so was pleased with that kept it to read the things you learn from porn

best off all was when me mam found me brothers porn ah the joys of a younger brotherand play boy magazine.

a few years ago i found me mams vibrator a big black cock that was funny when in the middle off diner i placed on the kitchen table oh the joys of embrasing your parents.

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By *eclan_and_AimeeCouple
over a year ago

dunblane, stirling

Going to a catholic school meant that our sex ed amounted to being shown a late abortion video, think they thought that would put us off altogether, they might as well have shown us a birth! It was horrific.

I do remember my mum saying to me just before I was 17 that she was goin to take me to get the pill, her jaw dropped when I said, 'it's's a bit late for that, I got it when I turned 16!'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

married 10 yrs 3 kids...im still waiting on mine!!!!

auds xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

oooo it was biology section 6.6 lol as soon as you got the book that was the section you went to. the boys at the back would be whispering 'is that what it looks like' with the pic of a girls 'fanny' lol mum was very open about sex in our house and we are the same with our kids we have two boys and hubby gave our 13 year old a box of tissues and told him to clear up after himself lol he aint interested tho thank god oh the joys of sex ed lol xxx

mind youi think these days kids can tell us more now lol x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

nope......... I just seen the midwives tits as she cut my cord and slapped my ass...... and I knew I would be shagging her in 15 years time....

and gave the doctor the once over as he had tight jeans on and wow...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"nope......... I just seen the midwives tits as she cut my cord and slapped my ass...... and I knew I would be shagging her in 15 years time....

and gave the doctor the once over as he had tight jeans on and wow...

aaahhhh veiw you make me laff so much cheered me up there xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i grew up in care so didnt lol. closest i got of any sexual education was when i was a randy 14 year old whilst at school.

The Boys and Girls of our class were split into two different rooms and we got one of the deputy heads, and we were to ask him direct questions of things we were unsure of. it lasted two mins as someone asked him what a blowjob was, which he explained through the muffled giggles, then a certain little shit asked did he have to give one to the headmaster to get his deputy head job lol, the whole class burst into laughter

rest of the lesson was spent doing lines

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