FabSwingers.com forum: Am I too sensitive

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Been chatting to a couple I have plans to meet the female half. I’ve just been asked if I have ever had a STI. I’m a bit offended.

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By *e DevilMan
over a year ago

Blantyre

[Removed by poster at 16/02/19 22:31:02]

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By *e DevilMan
over a year ago

Blantyre

Quite right to be offended, tell them to do one and fuck off.

None of their business, message back to them 'have you ever swallowed'? then dont wait for a reply , just block them .

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By *rMrsWTFCouple
over a year ago

Arbroath

It would make me think they had

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By *ab femWoman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

"It would make me think they had"

This

Sounds like they have caught something in the past

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It would make me think they had

This

Sounds like they have caught something in the past "

Yip they have had a dose of something!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I disagree. They can ask what they want! You're a stranger on a sex site, you're planning to meet and they know nothing about you. I think if you're offended it says more about you.

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By *inky KatzCouple
over a year ago

Scotland

"Been chatting to a couple I have plans to meet the female half. I’ve just been asked if I have ever had a STI. I’m a bit offended. "

There is a couple we were once upon a time chatting to from your neck of the woods who we found out actually passed one about... obviously I won’t name and shame publicly on here

For the record we told them to do one and blocked them

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I hadn’t thought of the scenario that they may have had or passed about a disease in the past.

They are saying I am too sensitive

I won’t meet the female now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Even if you had, what does it matter as long as its been treated and returned to full health.

Just move on from it

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By *earded blossomCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow

"I disagree. They can ask what they want! You're a stranger on a sex site, you're planning to meet and they know nothing about you. I think if you're offended it says more about you. "

Yeah it's a fine line but I agree, sometimes asking someone sensitive questions can be a bit difficult. If you were playing with a random you'd ask certain questions to make sure they took care of themselves or else I'd just avoid. Random pussy with unknown background comes with issues

It scares me when people claim they've never had a sti and never had to go get checked out only to find they are carrying it without showing symptoms the whole time infecting others via other play (lets be honest when it comes to foreplay people are face deep at that point with herpes)

John

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By *ola cubesMan
over a year ago

coatbridge

Why havent they asked you if you have caught the common cold or had an infextion from an animal bite.

If you had had one that means you found out and solved the problem and probably learned a bit better about preventative measures.

To many attach stigma to sti

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Female to female sex is not conducive to east forms of protection i.e. le condom..

Hands, tongues, pussies and the addition of in the later toys

Toys can be protected, however unless you want to use latex gloves and a dental jam rubber sheet, the rest is pretty open to transfer..

So generally its a sensible question.

If you think about it. If bareback is not an option. Then why would bareback with another woman be any different.

Ive never had an sti. But get checked regularly.

I would sort of expect the same of the other person if having multiple partners was a thing.

Maybe there question wasn't so tactful, which is why you have taken a sensitive stance.

Sounds like you've lost the moment now anyway. But next time something to think about.

Mistress Amelia x

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By *ittle_missknowitallWoman
over a year ago

glasgow

This whole subject does concern me from time to time

Bareback carry’s risks sure but by the time you are at this stage you have already been deep throated or had a finger up the ass or been g spot deep in cunnilingus no doubt - all of which is bodily fluids that are little pools of swarming bacteria and potentially viruses

So safe sex really can only occur by abstaining from all sexual play altogether

Yeah we can limit the chances by only having one partner but how do we know that partner is safe themselves

Yeah we can get checked but a lot of stuff doesn’t show up for 3 months by which point as swingers we could potentially have passed it on to many another person

I think we all need to do as much background checks on someone as we feel we are comfortable with - if the person we are wishing to play with isn’t willing or happy with this then all move on

Swinging carry’s much more risk than a monogamous relationship sure

It’s the whole risk versus benefit argument

But don’t be offended OP I am sure the couple involved have their reasons for asking and it’s not personal to you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This whole subject does concern me from time to time

So safe sex really can only occur by abstaining from all sexual play altogether

Yeah we can limit the chances by only having one partner but how do we know that partner is safe themselves

Yeah we can get checked but a lot of stuff doesn’t show up for 3 months by which point as swingers we could potentially have passed it on to many another person

I think we all need to do as much background checks on someone as we feel we are comfortable with - if the person we are wishing to play with isn’t willing or happy with this then all move on

Swinging carry’s much more risk than a monogamous relationship sure

It’s the whole risk versus benefit argument

But don’t be offended OP I am sure the couple involved have their reasons for asking and it’s not personal to you

Agreed, and agree with the previous poster also.

Perhaps it could have been worded more tactfully. Was it asked in person or via text? As text can often be misconstrued if you don't know the individual on the other end well enough

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By *uburban_kinkCouple
over a year ago

Motherwell

A more sensible question to ask would have been “Do you get checked for STI’s on a regular basis?”

Even though we’re more into the kink side, it’s still an important question given there’s the potential for sexual fun further down the line - plus kink play itself can have an STI risk. The way someone answers typically gives you a good insight into their sexual health mindset.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And after all of the tactful questions and necessary precautions having been taken, remember that folk lie.

Sometimes you just need to decide if it's worth it and jump in.....so to speak!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I am not going to meet them as it puts in my mind that they have perhaps had sti’s Or been with someone who has

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am not going to meet them as it puts in my mind that they have perhaps had sti’s Or been with someone who has"

All you can do is trust your gut.

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By *r Costa xxMan
over a year ago

stirling

"Been chatting to a couple I have plans to meet the female half. I’ve just been asked if I have ever had a STI. I’m a bit offended. "

Not a question I would ask, but maybe they’re just being careful, after all there are lots of risks when when swinging, might mean they’ve been suckered before, or they’re just trying to avoid, I’d ask why they’re asking rather than just not meet, them you can make mind up

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its a perfectly sensible question to ask.

And you shouldnt be offended. It shows they look after their sexual health and thats a positive. For you.

Everyone no doubt has a story about somoene who knows someone with a story to tell re sti’s.

Anectdotally I heard a story about some one local (west Lothian) who last year got a really nasty sti, took it back to his wife.

Also before he got the all clear he was doing something that I can’t even mention on here as its so vile.

These people walk amongst us so you have to take as much care of yourself as you can.

Some folks just think sti’s don’t apply to them.

Of course you can ask someone that question but how do you know thier answer is truthful?

Hmm well someone who does look after thier sexual health and gets tested will be glad you asked.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This whole subject does concern me from time to time

So safe sex really can only occur by abstaining from all sexual play altogether

Yeah we can limit the chances by only having one partner but how do we know that partner is safe themselves

Yeah we can get checked but a lot of stuff doesn’t show up for 3 months by which point as swingers we could potentially have passed it on to many another person

I think we all need to do as much background checks on someone as we feel we are comfortable with - if the person we are wishing to play with isn’t willing or happy with this then all move on

Swinging carry’s much more risk than a monogamous relationship sure

It’s the whole risk versus benefit argument

But don’t be offended OP I am sure the couple involved have their reasons for asking and it’s not personal to you

Absolutey, yes!

Perhaps it's because my background is queer and we're told as a community to be safer but it's incredibly important.

I've asked men if they've been tested even though I'm having safer sex, as I used to suck bare. They'd say yes, but then it would turn out to have been a year or 6 months ago!

I've also agreed to have safe sex and then been fucked bare against my consent as they know *I'm safe*. One time I was sexually assualted and someone went stealth on me. All those times I had a niggling feeling which I chose to ignore though.

My no1 is married, my no2 just sees me, and I have bare sex with them. I trust that anyone else they sleep with takes care of themselves. I used to occasionally see previous dates but stopped indulging in oral with them for proper safety. it's not worth the risk.

Sure things can be cured but also spread like wildfire. I had one scare in my 20s and drew a chart up....it went global!

My GP told me that they wouldn't test me every 3 months as it was a strain on the system!! It takes an aeon to get an appointment at the sandyford too. I feel a lot don't get tested as they have to hide it from lovers and it's plain inconveniant time wise if you work.

London has a great postal scheme which keeps an online record. It's a shame we don't have that here.

When you've nursed and watched your friends die needlessly you take things seriously.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am not going to meet them as it puts in my mind that they have perhaps had sti’s Or been with someone who has

All you can do is trust your gut.

Agree I always listen to mine and walk away if there’s any doubt in my mind

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By *anon6dMan
over a year ago

Edinburgh

Eeeek run Forrest run.

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By *tew008Man
over a year ago

edinburgh

Just ask them the same question. They are just being careful??

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By *andsCouple
over a year ago

Edin

Yip

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yup you are

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By *ola cubesMan
over a year ago

coatbridge

"And after all of the tactful questions and necessary precautions having been taken, remember that folk lie.

Sometimes you just need to decide if it's worth it and jump in.....so to speak!"
not just that they could be tested one week clear and fuck someone daya before meeting you.......its your body you want the pleasure weigh up the risks and formulate YOUR safe zone.

There is no such thing as safe sex only calculated risk sex

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