FabSwingers.com forum: That message that gets your attention

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

For a guy on here it is incredibly hard to be yourself and stick out from the crowd. I always make an effort when sending a message and always attach my face pic, however I have been told I'm fake or worse for complimenting or trying to start a conversation. I'm never rude or dirty or ask for anything, to me that is a turn off expecting anything at any stage of a message conversation. Is being a gentleman no longer a thing?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Be decent, not cringey

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Be decent, not cringey

Oh, I'm never cringey. But I do say how I feel on what I have viewed.

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By *evilsAdvocate94Woman
over a year ago

edinburgh

I have several messages complimenting my “pics” in last few days ....

My pictures are private so they couldn’t possibly see them, it either is a cut and paste job or someone who hasn’t taken time to look at profile I usually call them out or just delete.

For me a message has to be more than just “hi” and I’m not bothered about pics (particularly dick pics they definitely get deleted) would rather a well worded non patronising message and swap pictures later.

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By *nox.Woman
over a year ago

Glasgow

Maybe laying it on too thick? It's just weird getting a message that's too eager, don't need ten compliments on the first message not that a compliment is a bad thing just not too much for a total stranger.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Unless the profile asks for a face pic with the first message then I wouldn't send one.

It's nice to be nice but don't come on too strong as it can come across as cringey even if that isn't your intention.

I prefer light hearted and a wee bit jokey, but that's just me.

And remember you can't be everything to everybody so some knockbacks are inevitable.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Makes perfect sense. I will always read the profile first if the profile pic takes my eye. I would never send a message without understanding what the user is looking for first. If I was thinking of my goals ahead of anything it would be a social first. I need to chat face to face.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Say something that I know youv read my profile.

Dick pics to me are an instant turn off so no to them too.

Face pic is cool but wouldn't expect 1 in your 1st message no matter how many chicks demand it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Say something that I know youv read my profile.

Dick pics to me are an instant turn off so no to them too.

Face pic is cool but wouldn't expect 1 in your 1st message no matter how many chicks demand it.

Yeah, this. And don't tell me I'm cute or good looking. You actually can't tell that from my photos!!!

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By *stonDBS2Man
over a year ago

Kirkcaldy

I think most guys if totally new to fab, unknowingly click on thinking,send a few messages and surely in no time at all i will get some replies and before i know it i will be a busy boy on here.

Does not happen, will not happen,hardly ever seen it happen.

There are women,couples with regular meets,with that they are content with their swinging lot and no matter how well compiled,wordy, considerate,tick all the right boxes a message is, at best it gets read.

I cant word for word remember a single message that lead to hooking up/meeting the people i came to know over the years.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Many thanks everyone. I will think even harder before sending a message. I will re evaluate how I come across.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If there was a specific formula then the person who found it would be a millionaire and a god on here..

The only formula I think that works is:

A humerous, well crafted message that shows you have read the profile of the person.. Plus a reasonably well thought out personal profile with pictures and a whole lot of luck..

Probably why I don't get messages.

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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago

Paisley

What attracts me in a message is varied. I like a message that makes me laugh or one that is intelligent and longer than one line.

Sometimes the person just catches my eye.

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