FabSwingers.com forum: Xmas card to the Ex

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Spilt up with my ex 4 months ago. Left on good terms. Talking to my friend yesterday and she said send him a Xmas card. You were both good together. I think it sends the wrong message and verging on innapropriate. In work yesterday and 3 colleagues said it would be a nice gesture. For me a text at the most saying merry Xmas. Have a good one is more than enough. So

Xmas card

Text or

Nothing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

wait until he gets in touch with you?.

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

I always do and always will. I even buy him an xmas present and birthday gift and he does same to me. We were together a long time and he is the father of my children. We get on ok now and although i left there will always be a bond.

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By *uriousonetwoMan
over a year ago

Edinburgh

You are having a laugh

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

"You are having a laugh

No. I dont hold grudges and for the sake of the children we remain civil. I dont buy a big gift just a little parcel.

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By *uriousonetwoMan
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"You are having a laugh

No. I dont hold grudges and for the sake of the children we remain civil. I dont buy a big gift just a little parcel."

Massive difference between being civil and exchanging little parcels.

Guess each to their own lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Having kids with someone is different tho?

Just a bf/he thing I wouldn't .

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By *uriousonetwoMan
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"Having kids with someone is different tho?

Just a bf/he thing I wouldn't ."

I’ve got kids and am civil I’d never exchange little parcels. You move on.

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

"Having kids with someone is different tho?

Just a bf/he thing I wouldn't ."

Yes i totally agree. A couple of years together is not the same as a few decades with someone.

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

"Having kids with someone is different tho?

Just a bf/he thing I wouldn't .

I’ve got kids and am civil I’d never exchange little parcels. You move on. "

Lol, believe you me i have moved on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nothing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would just leave it. If your ex messages or sends a card then it’s probably polite to send a message or a card back.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Iv heard of a cpl that after being split over 15yrs and being with other people they still share custody of the dog every week lol

Think if I met a guy and he did that I'd question whether there were still feelings for the other person? Yeah you love the dog but come on...15yrs every week?

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By *uriousonetwoMan
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"Having kids with someone is different tho?

Just a bf/he thing I wouldn't .

I’ve got kids and am civil I’d never exchange little parcels. You move on.

Lol, believe you me i have moved on."

Hehe I’m in the same boat as you I think we are civil just would freak me out idea of exchanging parcels lol

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By *andsCouple
over a year ago

Edin

I don’t send Xmas cards to anyone but I would text

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By *uriousonetwoMan
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"Iv heard of a cpl that after being split over 15yrs and being with other people they still share custody of the dog every week lol

Think if I met a guy and he did that I'd question whether there were still feelings for the other person? Yeah you love the dog but come on...15yrs every week? "

That made me laugh please

Couldn’t agree more re questioning still having feelings. I’d be exactly the same.

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By *uriousonetwoMan
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"I don’t send Xmas cards to anyone but I would text "

It’s Christmas

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By *uriousonetwoMan
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"Nothing.

100% this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don’t send Xmas cards to anyone but I would text "
il txt you

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By *andsCouple
over a year ago

Edin

"I don’t send Xmas cards to anyone but I would text il txt you

If you want to send any pics feel free it will brighten up my full day

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I always do and always will. I even buy him an xmas present and birthday gift and he does same to me. We were together a long time and he is the father of my children. We get on ok now and although i left there will always be a bond."

I get my ex husband presents but the kids give those. I don't give him anything. We are also civil. Would you Do the same if you didn't have children together

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don’t send Xmas cards to anyone but I would text il txt you

If you want to send any pics feel free it will brighten up my full day

"
yeah by laughing hysterical at the state of me!! Flu time so I resemble Rudolf lol

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By *eep.Man
over a year ago

Just a background character

"Iv heard of a cpl that after being split over 15yrs and being with other people they still share custody of the dog every week lol

Think if I met a guy and he did that I'd question whether there were still feelings for the other person? Yeah you love the dog but come on...15yrs every week? "

How old is the dog? Must me some age

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Iv saw it àctually lets just say there won't be many weekend exchanges left

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Iv heard of a cpl that after being split over 15yrs and being with other people they still share custody of the dog every week lol

Think if I met a guy and he did that I'd question whether there were still feelings for the other person? Yeah you love the dog but come on...15yrs every week?

How old is the dog? Must me some age

Won't be doing it much longer I'd imagine

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mine will get a wee present of our kids (which I buy) but that's it. We arnt friends anymore so the spirit if Christmas doesn't extend that far, harsh, but I'd rather exert my energy on those who I care about x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nothing. I was with my boyfriend for 12 years before I left him and I made the mistake of giving him a small present and a card last year. Even though we were still on good terms, I shouldn't have done it as he thought there was hope that we'd get back together.

I think if you have kids with someone a card is acceptable but not a present. It just confuses things

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In my experience definentley NOTHING

gives out wring message

Plus if you have a new partner not fair on them .

Its not being nasty it's EX now so keep it that way .

To be honest you shoukd remove the number out your phone too ..

Clean break as they say

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My ex still buys me birthday and Christmas presents

I always feel awkward and feel obliged to get him something for his birthday etc

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By *ustyWoman
over a year ago

inverclyde

No ...they are an ex for a reason

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By *onkeymagic50Man
over a year ago

Near the harbour

It's a conundrum only the 2 folks involved would in all honesty know the answer as to do you buy each other little gifts and a card ,Been split from daughters mum 19 years and we do send each other a card on birthdays and xmas and isn't sending wrong message out to either of us ,We still better friends than we ever would be partners

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By *ugs and JunkCouple
over a year ago

Bellshill

My mum and dad split years ago and after a long period of bitterness and fighting we can now all do xmas day together. They buy each other gifts and they keep in touch regularly through text. They were together a long time and had two kids together so I feel it’s lovely they can still have a friendship.

However, unless it was a substantially lengthy relationship and there are kids involved I would say leave it. If he texts then return a polite Xmas message.

If you have a new man I would definitely say don’t do it.

I’m with my man now for a few years and I have exes I was with for longer than this and I wouldn’t dream of contacting them

Mrs

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By *ilverhaloMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

I have children but they lost their mum when young, so I don't have the option. Though any girlfriends i have had before or after their mum i have never felt the urge to send cards or texts. Though if one was to contact me i would be polite and return my best wishes.

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By *ittleMizzNaughty88.Woman
over a year ago

Renfrewshire

For me I wouldn't send one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Iv heard of a cpl that after being split over 15yrs and being with other people they still share custody of the dog every week lol

Think if I met a guy and he did that I'd question whether there were still feelings for the other person? Yeah you love the dog but come on...15yrs every week? "

That's a hell of a lot of doggy years!!

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

"Spilt up with my ex 4 months ago. Left on good terms. Talking to my friend yesterday and she said send him a Xmas card. You were both good together. I think it sends the wrong message and verging on innapropriate. In work yesterday and 3 colleagues said it would be a nice gesture. For me a text at the most saying merry Xmas. Have a good one is more than enough. So

Xmas card

Text or

Nothing "
if you parted on good terms then yes I would

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree mother of my children the most important things to come from out relationship. Nice card and present for ex wife and the same for ex mother-in-law. It's called Integrity doing the right thing no matter the circumstances

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I agree mother of my children the most important things to come from out relationship. Nice card and present for ex wife and the same for ex mother-in-law. It's called Integrity doing the right thing no matter the circumstances"

Agreed. And rising above your own differences for the sake of your kids.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to get stuff for the kids to give to their dad. He’s since had another child so I now get for the kid at her birthday and Christmas instead.

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By *uriousonetwoMan
over a year ago

Edinburgh

That’s lovely how sweet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nah move on unless your asking because you want someone to say yes as you still have feelings otherwise move on and give the card to someone you really want to ..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

just dont

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was married & with my ex wife for 25 years total. There were great times along with bad. Would i give her a card or present? No. She can buy her own with all the money she made from my pensions & forced sale of the house. Im over her. An ex is an ex for a reason.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My mum and dad split years ago and after a long period of bitterness and fighting we can now all do xmas day together. They buy each other gifts and they keep in touch regularly through text. They were together a long time and had two kids together so I feel it’s lovely they can still have a friendship.

However, unless it was a substantially lengthy relationship and there are kids involved I would say leave it. If he texts then return a polite Xmas message.

If you have a new man I would definitely say don’t do it.

I’m with my man now for a few years and I have exes I was with for longer than this and I wouldn’t dream of contacting them

Mrs"

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By *uriousonetwoMan
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"I was married & with my ex wife for 25 years total. There were great times along with bad. Would i give her a card or present? No. She can buy her own with all the money she made from my pensions & forced sale of the house. Im over her. An ex is an ex for a reason."

Exactly this. Can’t believe all the sending cards and presents rubbish.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"just dont"

I'm not. I have no intention to. Just wanted to see what everyone else thought

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But you're not bitter

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By *uriousonetwoMan
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"just dont

I'm not. I have no intention to. Just wanted to see what everyone else thought "

See whose not over it

Still burns a candle

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But you're not bitter

Absolutly not. I suppose its different if theres young kids involved but even then why would you. Being civil is what the kids need.

How many people give an ex partner a card/ present when there in a new relationship? Its weird

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"just dont

I'm not. I have no intention to. Just wanted to see what everyone else thought

See whose not over it

Still burns a candle

I'm well over it

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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago

Paisley

Nope my ex doesn’t deserve anything. Even the kids don’t send him a card and youngest is 18 so it’s up to them what they do.

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By *r and Mrs SnogalotCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow

Don’t send Xmas cards to mrsS never mind the ex

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