FabSwingers.com forum: Libido

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hi,

This is a weird one to post here, but it's something that some of you may have encountered and got through.

Those who have read my profile know I am married. I can honestly say I love my wife. Recently the amount of sex we've been having has gone from infrequent to none.

It came to a head tonight and after a discussion we have worked out that she just isn't interested in the thought of sex (though she claims to enjoy it - phew). It seems that she has lost her libido. I understand that out can be a symptom of depression.

has anyone else had any experience with either of these and can you offer any advice. I'm sure some advice will be to get off this site and I can quite understand that and I haven't been on for a while to try and give her the best support I can (though you can probably understand why I came on in the first place).

Any advice is greatly appreciated.

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By *abe1200Couple
over a year ago

belfast

A trip to ure doctors will do both of you good.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi,

This is a weird one to post here, but it's something that some of you may have encountered and got through.

Those who have read my profile know I am married. I can honestly say I love my wife. Recently the amount of sex we've been having has gone from infrequent to none.

Any advice is greatly appreciated."

Its good too read a post that actually makes sense once in a while.also shows your honesty;

Good Luck

Buboo

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By *ohnny4playMan
over a year ago

Kinross

It does happen, a nice woman I know was telling me how she went through a 3 year period of very low (Nil) libido, but I can vouch that it came back and exists with vengeance.

However i'm not able to pass on any report as to the cause or cure, only to pass on the ray of light that it may return.

How the two of you manage through this difficult mis match is something you have to work out and wish you all the luck with that - keep talking!

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By *adcowWoman
over a year ago

kirkcaldy

There can be many causes such as stress, depression,grief, hormone imbalance, birth of a child - best advice I would suggest is go to the doctors and get checked out.

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By *adcowWoman
over a year ago

kirkcaldy

There can be many causes such as stress, depression,grief, hormone imbalance, birth of a child - best advice I would suggest is go to the doctors and get checked out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Very sorry to here about this and your honesty .This happened to my sister wh had just lost confidence in herself .She attend the Dr. for a short time was given meds of which I am not sure but all is well now xxxx

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By *issNaughtyxxxWoman
over a year ago

Aberdeen

I had no interest in sex or anything to do with it for 5years and still time to time have no interest what so ever in actual intercourse. I have BPD and a physical disability so mine will be different to your wife's reasons for lack of interest. I think a trip to the Dr together would do no harm and perhaps she can talk openly to you or the Dr. Hope it works out ok for you all

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks for all the replies. It's good to know it can pass. Hopefully I can persuade her to visit the dr with me in the new year and she can lose embarassment and talk to me about what's bothering her.

Thanks again, have a good hogmanay.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I lost all interest in sex when I had my daughter. It took me about a year to feel sexual and attractive again. Try go to the doctors with her...looking into why she went off it etc. Sex is actually really good for depression but it's just overcoming the feelings of why you don't want to. Many things trigger a loss of libido. Honesty is great but you need to have it with her aswell. xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its a very difficult one.Depression definately causes a lack of libido in some people. However if you are doing this without her knowledge ( i dont know) and she finds out it could be devastating for her. If you have discussed it and she agrees to it she could still struggle inside. Depression is a very serious and dangerous condition . Hope it all works out for you whatever the reasons

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks for all the input. As they say ' it's good to talk'. We've had a few chats about it and understand the others situation a lot better.

We'll keep working and talking about it and see how it goes. I really do appreciate the time and effort that has gone into the posts.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I really hope you get it sorted hon. The fact that the two of you are talking is the first step. Good luck. xx

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By *issNaughtyxxxWoman
over a year ago

Aberdeen

I was told by my suregon that 'love' or a happy relationship can actual be a good drug in it's self to help with mental health problems such as depression. Don't know the technical/medical terms but he said it realease's a chemical in the brain and stablises your mood. Hopefully once your relationship get's back on track things will improve including your sex life.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks, we do have a good relationship (apart from the sex) but my wife never really opened up to me in the past - she felt embarrassed about talking about sex even to me. The fact she is discussing it now is a very positive sign.

I know I am coming across all defensive, but we do have a strong relationship and I am very supportive of her. I now look like I'm a hypocrite or contradicting myself, and to be honest I probably am. In summary, the relationship has never been off track apart from the (in my opinion) physical side which is something we are trying to address.

Well I think I have completed probably the worst post ever on here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thanks, we do have a good relationship (apart from the sex) but my wife never really opened up to me in the past - she felt embarrassed about talking about sex even to me. The fact she is discussing it now is a very positive sign.

Well I think I have completed probably the worst post ever on here"

dont be too hard on yourself - none of us are perfect (some people think they are though).

Its a hard and brave thing to do to open up honestly on here and work things through in your own head with a little help. Best of luck with your marriage in whatever you decide to do about staying on here or not.

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By *issNaughtyxxxWoman
over a year ago

Aberdeen

Hope it all works out and things go from strength to strength for you both

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well I think I have completed probably the worst post ever on here"

Don't think that. We are all friends on here and if you can't turn to friends in time of need, when can you? You are making steps to move forward. Whatever happens, we all wish you the very best and you know we are here for you. xxx

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By *ilandlarryCouple
over a year ago

more north lincs than mids!

For a long time I had no interest in sex altho when I did give in to Larry's demands then I did enjoy it.

We have a (just turned) 3 year old so I was finding that all my energy was spent dealing with him and our older daughter. Family life got in the way and I was just exhausted from it all.

I also found that if Larry kept asking for sex then I was more inclined to say no to him as I felt under pressure.

What seems to have worked for us is that we had a weekend away from home, without the kids and got to be us again. Now, if i'm feeling up for it then I initiate or I let him know that i'm wanting some lol

Keep the lines of communication open with her, talking is always good! Good luck xx

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