FabSwingers.com forum: You have to laugh on here

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Whilst ploughing through endless profiles looking to see if any took my fancy I came across one that gave me a giggle , in there description off what they ( cpl) where looking for it stated right at the beginning there not looking for single males , but looking at there 2 verifications yip you guessed it already are from 2 Single Guys.

Now what profiles have you come across that made you giggle .

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By *eiaorganaWoman
over a year ago

Dundee

Possibly they updated their profile as they've decided to take a break from single males? Could be many reasons.

For me, one that always makes me laugh is the people that expect or demand a reply, even if it's a no thanks, and call people rude for not replying.

If they'd read the FAQs they'd see that no response IS a no thanks, and no one is entitled to a reply. Yet someone's moaning about it every day in the updates!

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By *eiaorganaWoman
over a year ago

Dundee

Another is the "that's it, I've had enough, can't get anywhere on here so I'm leaving" nonsense.

Yeah, sure you are mate. See you saying the same thing in a month

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By *alcon43Woman
over a year ago

Paisley

The profiles that obviously haven’t been updated since they joined.

I’m a 32 year old newbie but they’ve been on over a year and their profile age says 37!

Guys that are ‘straight’ but have veris from guys saying how good they are.

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By *ola cubesMan
over a year ago

coatbridge

The shinvelling generic guys profile proclaiming to be the golden goose egg usually gives me a chuckle

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The shinvelling generic guys profile proclaiming to be the golden goose egg usually gives me a chuckle"

They are no worse than the perpetual misanthropes. You know, the kind with nothing good to say, or anything positive to contribute.

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By *ugs and JunkCouple
over a year ago

Bellshill

The profiles who demand face pics attached to first messages then go on to say that they never under any circumstances share face pics of themselves

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Guys that say “not here to shag the whole site” like their inbox is bursting with requests

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I’m still trying to figure out the fascination of taking pictures over the toilet or having a can of deodorant next to the cock ?

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By *andy_FraserTV/TS
over a year ago

Edinburgh

I always roll my eyes at ones that say;

"Do not message me if you don't have any public facial pics on your profile"

But then they have none

Mandy

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By *andy_FraserTV/TS
over a year ago

Edinburgh

"I always roll my eyes at ones that say;

"Do not message me if you don't have any public facial pics on your profile"

But then they have none

Mandy"

I also meant to say that on a dating site I help moderate on, they class these as "Ransom profiles" and are strictly against the rules. Anyone found with one gets a 5-day ban, even if they're a paid-up member.

Once they return they have a message explaining why they were banned and have a further 2 days to edit any statements out their profile or add pics.

If they don't do it, then it's Sayonara... Plus an IP ban.

Strict I know, but it's not my rule, it was enforced by the parent company.

Mandy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Recently a profile with fake photos, if your gonna fake it don't use photos of a gym, tanned, tattooed guy with a average dick and then use photos of a slim, pale skinned, non tattooed guy with a photo shopped massive dick.

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By *rgoodnbadMan
over a year ago

greenock

"Possibly they updated their profile as they've decided to take a break from single males? Could be many reasons.

For me, one that always makes me laugh is the people that expect or demand a reply, even if it's a no thanks, and call people rude for not replying.

If they'd read the FAQs they'd see that no response IS a no thanks, and no one is entitled to a reply. Yet someone's moaning about it every day in the updates!

If someone you met in a bar or bumped into while out for lunch asked you out or even tried to have a conversation.

Would you blank them, ignore them?

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By *ittlemissnaughtybutniceWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

Same as some have posted above, but do roll my eyes a little at the need to put "I'm genuine" in their profile text.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Whilst ploughing through endless profiles looking to see if any took my fancy I came across one that gave me a giggle , in there description off what they ( cpl) where looking for it stated right at the beginning there not looking for single males , but looking at there 2 verifications yip you guessed it already are from 2 Single Guys.

Now what profiles have you come across that made you giggle ."

There's lots like that, it means they don't want bombarded with hundreds of retarded single guy msgs, when they want a single guy, they'll msg him, hand pick a good one, rather than scroll through their msg box that's filled with a bunch of mongs msgs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Possibly they updated their profile as they've decided to take a break from single males? Could be many reasons.

For me, one that always makes me laugh is the people that expect or demand a reply, even if it's a no thanks, and call people rude for not replying.

If they'd read the FAQs they'd see that no response IS a no thanks, and no one is entitled to a reply. Yet someone's moaning about it every day in the updates!

If someone you met in a bar or bumped into while out for lunch asked you out or even tried to have a conversation.

Would you blank them, ignore them? "

If I was a woman yeah I would and if they didn't go away, I'd say fuck off you ugly little scrote

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Best one I read in a while was pointed out to me by another forumite, though I can't recall the user name.

An older, rather voluptuous lady was looking for gym fit, ripped, hung like a 2l bottle of Irn Bru, 25-30 yr old guys to fuck her into next year. Absolutely no fucks were given and she was quite aware of the irony of her demands given her physique. I almost stood and gave her a round of applause when I read it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Best one I read in a while was pointed out to me by another forumite, though I can't recall the user name.

Damn. She sounds like my type, too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Best one I read in a while was pointed out to me by another forumite, though I can't recall the user name.

Damn. She sounds like my type, too."

I thought of you when I read it. Think you're too well endowed for her though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Best one I read in a while was pointed out to me by another forumite, though I can't recall the user name.

Damn. She sounds like my type, too.

I thought of you when I read it. Think you're too well endowed for her though

Wrong emoji! Should have been

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Best one I read in a while was pointed out to me by another forumite, though I can't recall the user name.

Damn. She sounds like my type, too.

I thought of you when I read it. Think you're too well endowed for her though

Wrong emoji! Should have been

I'm hung like the 3ltr bottles they sell in iceland.

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By *itness_FornicatorsCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow

Now what profiles have you come across that made you giggle ."

Peoples circumstances change. Also we had verifications from single males and they were club meets so group situations. Another one was a foursome with a single girl.

We have only recently started meeting separately so I can now meet single males if I want even though they are blocked. I just message first. B x

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By *itness_FornicatorsCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow

Now what profiles have you come across that made you giggle .

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By *uietbloke67Man
over a year ago

outside your bedroom window ;-)

Socks on ...I rest my case your honour

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Recently a profile with fake photos, if your gonna fake it don't use photos of a gym, tanned, tattooed guy with a average dick and then use photos of a slim, pale skinned, non tattooed guy with a photo shopped massive dick. "

Or the guys who have put a pic of a boxer, MMA fighter, actor etc like we won’t google reverse the pic and find out who it is. I had a profile with a boxers pic last year claiming to be him they guy was fighting a title match in Blackpool and this profile was bellshill?? I contacted the boxers fb page so he could get the profile removed as he was married with kids and could have caused him trouble with his sponsors.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Socks on ...I rest my case your honour"

Hey maybe my heating wasn't working! You don't know....

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

What I laugh about this Post, is I was sticky up for the Scottish as we have a sense off humour ( well some off us do and take the post for what it was )( Humour ) but as in the Lounge it gets twisted to end up serious

Personally I truly think the forum's need to loosen up .

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By *rgoodnbadMan
over a year ago

greenock

"Possibly they updated their profile as they've decided to take a break from single males? Could be many reasons.

For me, one that always makes me laugh is the people that expect or demand a reply, even if it's a no thanks, and call people rude for not replying.

If they'd read the FAQs they'd see that no response IS a no thanks, and no one is entitled to a reply. Yet someone's moaning about it every day in the updates!

If someone you met in a bar or bumped into while out for lunch asked you out or even tried to have a conversation.

Would you blank them, ignore them?

If I was a woman yeah I would and if they didn't go away, I'd say fuck off you ugly little scrote "

I'm sure most ladies wouldn't respond in such a bitchy manner.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Another is the "that's it, I've had enough, can't get anywhere on here so I'm leaving" nonsense.

Yeah, sure you are mate. See you saying the same thing in a month

"
I agree with this one it’s every day

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The profiles who demand face pics attached to first messages then go on to say that they never under any circumstances share face pics of themselves "
this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Possibly they updated their profile as they've decided to take a break from single males? Could be many reasons.

For me, one that always makes me laugh is the people that expect or demand a reply, even if it's a no thanks, and call people rude for not replying.

If they'd read the FAQs they'd see that no response IS a no thanks, and no one is entitled to a reply. Yet someone's moaning about it every day in the updates!

If someone you met in a bar or bumped into while out for lunch asked you out or even tried to have a conversation.

Would you blank them, ignore them?

If I was a woman yeah I would and if they didn't go away, I'd say fuck off you ugly little scrote

I'm sure most ladies wouldn't respond in such a bitchy manner. "

Said the resident fab expert on what women think

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Now what profiles have you come across that made you giggle ."

We aren't looking for females but have verifications from them x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not looking for females either but I have verifications from a couple of them just through meeting at socials

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By *ittleMizzNaughty88.Woman
over a year ago

Renfrewshire

I'm not looking for couples or women, have verifications from them though

met through clubs & that.

Kinda like a straight guy with 10 verifications from men saying great cock etc, but argue the point they are straight

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I got one from a woman looking for single women

I know I have manboobs but FFS

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Kinda like a straight guy with 10 verifications from men saying great cock etc, but argue the point they are straight.

I assuming that's the Fab straight guys

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me its the guys claiming how sexual health is there top they only want women who take care of themselves physically and cosmetically!! And then theres a pic of there unprotected dick in some unfortunate woman, i honestly dont care what the excuse is ex, long term fb, bla bla bla dont sit n advertise urself as cleaner than clean expecting stupid high standards of women(whats he think models are on here??) And then have a pic like that instant block!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"For me its the guys claiming how sexual health is there top they only want women who take care of themselves physically and cosmetically!! And then theres a pic of there unprotected dick in some unfortunate woman, i honestly dont care what the excuse is ex, long term fb, bla bla bla dont sit n advertise urself as cleaner than clean expecting stupid high standards of women(whats he think models are on here??) And then have a pic like that instant block!!"

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By *rgoodnbadMan
over a year ago

greenock

"Possibly they updated their profile as they've decided to take a break from single males? Could be many reasons.

For me, one that always makes me laugh is the people that expect or demand a reply, even if it's a no thanks, and call people rude for not replying.

If they'd read the FAQs they'd see that no response IS a no thanks, and no one is entitled to a reply. Yet someone's moaning about it every day in the updates!

If someone you met in a bar or bumped into while out for lunch asked you out or even tried to have a conversation.

Would you blank them, ignore them?

If I was a woman yeah I would and if they didn't go away, I'd say fuck off you ugly little scrote

I'm sure most ladies wouldn't respond in such a bitchy manner.

Said the resident fab expert on what women think

Never proclaimed to be, I'm just assuming that most ladies have manners on here and life in general.

Just like I assume there's some aggressive, arrogant, argumentive people who are best avoided in life and on fab.

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By *tarmix2020Man
over a year ago

glasgow

That is definitely annoying...

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By *ictiiWitchCouple
over a year ago

Helensburgh

Any pic where guys are trying to look hot and single, but in the background there are kids toys etc, it just makes me giggle. Daddies need love too!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Any pic where guys are trying to look hot and single, but in the background there are kids toys etc, it just makes me giggle. Daddies need love too!

"
.

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By *tew008Man
over a year ago

edinburgh

Even if they provide a signed letter from their doctor.

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By *tew008Man
over a year ago

edinburgh

"Any pic where guys are trying to look hot and single, but in the background there are kids toys etc, it just makes me giggle. Daddies need love too!

Possibly their toys

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By *ictiiWitchCouple
over a year ago

Helensburgh

"Any pic where guys are trying to look hot and single, but in the background there are kids toys etc, it just makes me giggle. Daddies need love too!

Possibly their toys

I'm all for a guy who has princess wallpaper in his bedroom, don't get me wrong, but sometimes it's a little bit obvious that they are NOT theirs...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Reading too much into it O.P

Don't get too het up on what demands/criteria are made.

Goalposts shift all the time....

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By *airy PrincessWoman
over a year ago

Aberdeen

Lol yip those get me ever time lol lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Possibly they updated their profile as they've decided to take a break from single males? Could be many reasons.

For me, one that always makes me laugh is the people that expect or demand a reply, even if it's a no thanks, and call people rude for not replying.

If they'd read the FAQs they'd see that no response IS a no thanks, and no one is entitled to a reply. Yet someone's moaning about it every day in the updates!

If someone you met in a bar or bumped into while out for lunch asked you out or even tried to have a conversation.

Would you blank them, ignore them?

If I was a woman yeah I would and if they didn't go away, I'd say fuck off you ugly little scrote

I'm sure most ladies wouldn't respond in such a bitchy manner.

Said the resident fab expert on what women think

Never proclaimed to be, I'm just assuming that most ladies have manners on here and life in general.

Just like I assume there's some aggressive, arrogant, argumentive people who are best avoided in life and on fab. "

Well I know some of the nicest girls on the planet, but when a d*unk dick head won't stop annoying them in a bar, after politely telling them a few times they're not interested (Bit like the single guy tossers on here) they're not shy in publicly telling them to fuck off, so stop trying to say the right thing to get brownie points from the girls on here, because bull shit and desperation isn't an attractive quality in a boy!

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By *parkle13Woman
over a year ago

Dundee

The ones where it says shite about Sydney university.. Cmon now do they realy think that's a thing ??@profiles from straight men who have had sex oral from a guy but say there not bi

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The profiles who demand face pics attached to first messages then go on to say that they never under any circumstances share face pics of themselves "

Happens so often!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The ones where it says shite about Sydney university.. Cmon now do they realy think that's a thing ??@profiles from straight men who have had sex oral from a guy but say there not bi "

As someone who worked in Sydney University for a number of years I can say it definitely is a thing. They also take those warnings VERY seriously.

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By *rgoodnbadMan
over a year ago

greenock

"Possibly they updated their profile as they've decided to take a break from single males? Could be many reasons.

For me, one that always makes me laugh is the people that expect or demand a reply, even if it's a no thanks, and call people rude for not replying.

If they'd read the FAQs they'd see that no response IS a no thanks, and no one is entitled to a reply. Yet someone's moaning about it every day in the updates!

If someone you met in a bar or bumped into while out for lunch asked you out or even tried to have a conversation.

Would you blank them, ignore them?

If I was a woman yeah I would and if they didn't go away, I'd say fuck off you ugly little scrote

I'm sure most ladies wouldn't respond in such a bitchy manner.

Said the resident fab expert on what women think

Never proclaimed to be, I'm just assuming that most ladies have manners on here and life in general.

Just like I assume there's some aggressive, arrogant, argumentive people who are best avoided in life and on fab.

Well stop bullshitting then and you won't come across as desperate.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Possibly they updated their profile as they've decided to take a break from single males? Could be many reasons.

For me, one that always makes me laugh is the people that expect or demand a reply, even if it's a no thanks, and call people rude for not replying.

If they'd read the FAQs they'd see that no response IS a no thanks, and no one is entitled to a reply. Yet someone's moaning about it every day in the updates!

If someone you met in a bar or bumped into while out for lunch asked you out or even tried to have a conversation.

Would you blank them, ignore them?

If I was a woman yeah I would and if they didn't go away, I'd say fuck off you ugly little scrote

I'm sure most ladies wouldn't respond in such a bitchy manner.

Said the resident fab expert on what women think

Never proclaimed to be, I'm just assuming that most ladies have manners on here and life in general.

Just like I assume there's some aggressive, arrogant, argumentive people who are best avoided in life and on fab.

Well stop bullshitting then and you won't come across as desperate.

Yawn, boring, predictable and infantile, your banters pish

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The profiles who demand face pics attached to first messages then go on to say that they never under any circumstances share face pics of themselves "
that's the one I chuckle at.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One of my faves is.. "I know how the site works". Its not fucking rocket science. You send a message, you either get a reply.. Great.. Or you don't get a reply and bitch and whine on your status or start a forum thread. Or maybe theyvarw all IT specialists and can explain the algorithms needed and the other inner workings of Web design and maintenance.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know how the site works.

It's powered by pixies and elves pedalling like blazes, and flipping all the switches. Occasionally, one of them pokes a mod with a pointy stick, to wake them up.

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By *rgoodnbadMan
over a year ago

greenock

"Possibly they updated their profile as they've decided to take a break from single males? Could be many reasons.

For me, one that always makes me laugh is the people that expect or demand a reply, even if it's a no thanks, and call people rude for not replying.

If they'd read the FAQs they'd see that no response IS a no thanks, and no one is entitled to a reply. Yet someone's moaning about it every day in the updates!

If someone you met in a bar or bumped into while out for lunch asked you out or even tried to have a conversation.

Would you blank them, ignore them?

If I was a woman yeah I would and if they didn't go away, I'd say fuck off you ugly little scrote

I'm sure most ladies wouldn't respond in such a bitchy manner.

Said the resident fab expert on what women think

Never proclaimed to be, I'm just assuming that most ladies have manners on here and life in general.

Just like I assume there's some aggressive, arrogant, argumentive people who are best avoided in life and on fab.

Well stop bullshitting then and you won't come across as desperate.

Yawn, boring, predictable and infantile, your banters pish

Least it doesn't stem from arrogance.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Possibly they updated their profile as they've decided to take a break from single males? Could be many reasons.

For me, one that always makes me laugh is the people that expect or demand a reply, even if it's a no thanks, and call people rude for not replying.

If they'd read the FAQs they'd see that no response IS a no thanks, and no one is entitled to a reply. Yet someone's moaning about it every day in the updates!

If someone you met in a bar or bumped into while out for lunch asked you out or even tried to have a conversation.

Would you blank them, ignore them?

If I was a woman yeah I would and if they didn't go away, I'd say fuck off you ugly little scrote

I'm sure most ladies wouldn't respond in such a bitchy manner.

Said the resident fab expert on what women think

Never proclaimed to be, I'm just assuming that most ladies have manners on here and life in general.

Just like I assume there's some aggressive, arrogant, argumentive people who are best avoided in life and on fab.

Well stop bullshitting then and you won't come across as desperate.

Yawn, boring, predictable and infantile, your banters pish

Least it doesn't stem from arrogance.

Neither does ginger!

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By *rgoodnbadMan
over a year ago

greenock

"Possibly they updated their profile as they've decided to take a break from single males? Could be many reasons.

For me, one that always makes me laugh is the people that expect or demand a reply, even if it's a no thanks, and call people rude for not replying.

If they'd read the FAQs they'd see that no response IS a no thanks, and no one is entitled to a reply. Yet someone's moaning about it every day in the updates!

If someone you met in a bar or bumped into while out for lunch asked you out or even tried to have a conversation.

Would you blank them, ignore them?

If I was a woman yeah I would and if they didn't go away, I'd say fuck off you ugly little scrote

I'm sure most ladies wouldn't respond in such a bitchy manner.

Said the resident fab expert on what women think

Never proclaimed to be, I'm just assuming that most ladies have manners on here and life in general.

Just like I assume there's some aggressive, arrogant, argumentive people who are best avoided in life and on fab.

Well stop bullshitting then and you won't come across as desperate.

Yawn, boring, predictable and infantile, your banters pish

Least it doesn't stem from arrogance.

Neither does ginger!"

Good one, but it's strawberry blonde.

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By *eiaorganaWoman
over a year ago

Dundee

"Possibly they updated their profile as they've decided to take a break from single males? Could be many reasons.

For me, one that always makes me laugh is the people that expect or demand a reply, even if it's a no thanks, and call people rude for not replying.

If they'd read the FAQs they'd see that no response IS a no thanks, and no one is entitled to a reply. Yet someone's moaning about it every day in the updates!

If someone you met in a bar or bumped into while out for lunch asked you out or even tried to have a conversation.

Would you blank them, ignore them? "

I would tell them I wasn't interested, if that was the case.

But as you are aware, that's a completely different situation. A better analogy would be more like junk mail being put through your letterbox, you are not obliged to reply.

We are on a website that provides an FAQ, which very few people seem to have read. People taking the huff because others don't want to repeatedly reply 'no thanks' which then leads to questions of 'why?', another irritating situation because I don't owe you a reason either, is extremely tedious.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Possibly they updated their profile as they've decided to take a break from single males? Could be many reasons.

For me, one that always makes me laugh is the people that expect or demand a reply, even if it's a no thanks, and call people rude for not replying.

If they'd read the FAQs they'd see that no response IS a no thanks, and no one is entitled to a reply. Yet someone's moaning about it every day in the updates!

If someone you met in a bar or bumped into while out for lunch asked you out or even tried to have a conversation.

Would you blank them, ignore them?

If I was a woman yeah I would and if they didn't go away, I'd say fuck off you ugly little scrote

I'm sure most ladies wouldn't respond in such a bitchy manner.

Said the resident fab expert on what women think

Never proclaimed to be, I'm just assuming that most ladies have manners on here and life in general.

Just like I assume there's some aggressive, arrogant, argumentive people who are best avoided in life and on fab.

Well stop bullshitting then and you won't come across as desperate.

Yawn, boring, predictable and infantile, your banters pish

Least it doesn't stem from arrogance.

Neither does ginger!

Good one, but it's strawberry blonde.

That's what all the gingers say

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By *eep.Man
over a year ago

Just a background character

No!

You don't have to laugh on here.

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By *othardandfreeMan
over a year ago

Its the quotes that you dont see but you think they should be there anyway..

I am here to fuck my way through the site with anyone who will have me.

Been in more beds than a gardners spade.

Any holes a goal.

At least the honesty would be refreshing if nothing else.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

“Couples” profiles that continually post their status as “Male only available today”...yeah pull the other one

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By *exicolaMan
over a year ago

West Lothian

"“Couples” profiles that continually post their status as “Male only available today”...yeah pull the other one "

Good few of them today!!

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By *rgoodnbadMan
over a year ago

greenock

"Possibly they updated their profile as they've decided to take a break from single males? Could be many reasons.

For me, one that always makes me laugh is the people that expect or demand a reply, even if it's a no thanks, and call people rude for not replying.

If they'd read the FAQs they'd see that no response IS a no thanks, and no one is entitled to a reply. Yet someone's moaning about it every day in the updates!

If someone you met in a bar or bumped into while out for lunch asked you out or even tried to have a conversation.

Would you blank them, ignore them?

If I was a woman yeah I would and if they didn't go away, I'd say fuck off you ugly little scrote

I'm sure most ladies wouldn't respond in such a bitchy manner.

Said the resident fab expert on what women think

Never proclaimed to be, I'm just assuming that most ladies have manners on here and life in general.

Just like I assume there's some aggressive, arrogant, argumentive people who are best avoided in life and on fab.

Well stop bullshitting then and you won't come across as desperate.

Yawn, boring, predictable and infantile, your banters pish

Least it doesn't stem from arrogance.

Neither does ginger!

Good one, but it's strawberry blonde.

That's what all the gingers say

We prefer 'people of Nordic ancestry'

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