FabSwingers.com forum: Is Fab “No longer cutting it”?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Can you remember that excitement/trepidation when you first joined Fab, the potential to explore long held fantasies and that elation of your first non-social meet? Does the site still deliver those intrinsic rewards for you, the buzz/thrill/rush whatever you may call it, do you still use the site in the same way with the same desired outcomes as you did initially?

Personally having been on and off the site for the past 5-6 years I have to say it doesn’t elicit the same enjoyment as it once did when I first joined. I’m not a fan of social media in any way, shape or form I believe that it is counter productive and that it trains us to compare our lives as opposed to appreciate and cherish our individuality. In my opinion (and again it is just that, an opinion) Fab is becoming more of a social media site for people seeking casual sex as opposed to what it’s original intent was i.e. a site to facilitate the fulfilment of a swinging lifestyle. I think if you look at status updates and Forum threads in a lot of instances you could be forgiven for thinking you’ve logged on to Facebook or are witnessing a gaggle of squabbling teenagers. Too harsh?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can you remember that excitement/trepidation when you first joined Fab, the potential to explore long held fantasies and that elation of your first non-social meet? Does the site still deliver those intrinsic rewards for you, the buzz/thrill/rush whatever you may call it, do you still use the site in the same way with the same desired outcomes as you did initially?

Yip not as enjoyable as it once was, that's for sure

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You're probably right, though I am a relative newbie so wtf do I know. Nothing ever stays the same though, so why would Fab be any different?

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By *earded blossomCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow

Not harsh at all... I often question myself why I’m still here, the answer is usually the socials but even they don’t hold the same excitement anymore

K x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

You're probably right, though I am a relative newbie so wtf do I know. Nothing ever stays the same though, so why would Fab be any different?"

Beg to differ! Marmite has never changed it was, is and always will be SHITE!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Although I don't identify as a swinger, I like fab as it is.

If it was always all about just the sex it would bore me very quickly.

It's far more interesting than more conventional sites for me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah place has changed ..it is more social now ..when I first joined a long time ago it was more Last minute meets ..very spur of the moment and exciting ....but then the things I did then I would never have the guts to do now..so maybe fab and us are all just getting older haha

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Yeah place has changed ..it is more social now ..when I first joined a long time ago it was more Last minute meets ..very spur of the moment and exciting ....but then the things I did then I would never have the guts to do now..so maybe fab and us are all just getting older haha"

Oh I’m not knocking socials just in case anyone thinks I am. I’m genuinely interested (not in a snidey condescending way) why there are things you did when you first joined that you wouldn’t do now. Do you think that it’s down to a point a previous poster made that we are getting older and the spontaneity and rebellion against perceived societal norms e.g. monogamous sexual relations, group sex and same sex interactions being “not normal” doesn’t burn as brightly?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Not harsh at all... I often question myself why I’m still here, the answer is usually the socials but even they don’t hold the same excitement anymore

K x"

Again not being snidey, why has it changed for you?

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By *UNKIEMan
over a year ago

south east

I still love it ...meeting new people and having that lust filled connection never gets old

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nah iv been on n.off fab for 5 years still love it love the social side and the fun side love friends places clubs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's quite interesting to hear.

A lot of longer term members often seem to be bemoaning the fact that's what so many folk are looking for now and that it's not what swinging is about.

I've seen many refer to the social side of the 'scene ' so I would have thought the changes would have been viewed more positively in that respect.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I took a two year break from Fab and I’ve noticed a couple of things , the social side is more prevalent (single and group) but I think that may be we’re older,but , single ladies in particular are more spatially aware of the dangers that can lurk if things were more carefree and spur of the moment

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do think it's cos I'm getting older ...and more wiser. I think the socials are great but they seem to be more of an essential now before a meet ...not for everyone does tho cos I don't do.socials but I think are all just very predictable on here now...but maybe I'm used to it

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Used to it as in that what once you viewed as being outside of societally accepted sexual behaviour and preferences has become “the norm” for you? In short you’ve become “bored” and it doesn’t hold the same thrill for you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ultimately everything loses the butterflies effect, apart from when I see my reflection, the butterflies are now of revulsion

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Ultimately everything loses the butterflies effect, apart from when I see my reflection, the butterflies are now of revulsion

Ha ha ha I’m sure that’s not the case at all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't say I'm bored ..and there are still a lot.of things that I view as outside of MY OWN accepted sexual behaviour. I have just learned a lot on here and realised how different people are and how good it is that there is a place that people are "usually"accepted for all their different tastes

Does my jaw hang open as much as it used to ?

No !

Do i get same thrills on here ??

Definately!!!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Does my jaw hang open as much as it used to ?

No !

Do i get same thrills on here ??

Definately!!!!"

Ha ha ha yeah some of the things I “discovered” and saw when I 1st joined did have that “jaw dropping” element to them. Well glad to see that it’s still hitting the spot for you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ultimately everything loses the butterflies effect, apart from when I see my reflection, the butterflies are now of revulsion

Ha ha ha I’m sure that’s not the case at all."

Haha Not quite , if I need to get a reality check I view a cam or two for 10seconds in the Scotland Room and think ,hmmmmm I could look worse !!!!!!

Am I gonna get roasted for that lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Does my jaw hang open as much as it used to ?

No !

Do i get same thrills on here ??

Definately!!!!

Ha ha ha yeah some of the things I “discovered” and saw when I 1st joined did have that “jaw dropping” element to them. Well glad to see that it’s still hitting the spot for you.

I'm just getting old and grumpy and sometimes the thought of having to shave my legs and everything else that goes with it for a meet can be too much hassle hahahahahahahahaha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I first joined the site you could send a message to someone who would then reply and a short conversation would begin and usually ended with you meeting for fun an hour or so later.

That has changed dramatically and I don’t really agree with the fact I’m getting older rather people are more sceptical and require a safety meet first.

The banter in the Forums is still the same just the faces or in some cases the silhouette changes.

I have left and come back a couple of times over the past 12 years but then I’m addicted to the site and need a real life

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Does my jaw hang open as much as it used to ?

No !

Do i get same thrills on here ??

Definately!!!!

Ha ha ha yeah some of the things I “discovered” and saw when I 1st joined did have that “jaw dropping” element to them. Well glad to see that it’s still hitting the spot for you.

I'm just getting old and grumpy and sometimes the thought of having to shave my legs and everything else that goes with it for a meet can be too much hassle hahahahahahahahaha

I've never seen anything that had me jaw dropping to be honest. I have seen a lot before I joined but there has been some mental moments but you do get to understand that there is many different types of peoples with varied tastes and its actually good not to hold that against them because what they are into is not for you. There is space for everyone on fab so just enjoy and get along

When fab becomes more unenjoyably than enjoyable then I know its time to leave

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Does my jaw hang open as much as it used to ?

No !

Do i get same thrills on here ??

Definately!!!!

Ha ha ha yeah some of the things I “discovered” and saw when I 1st joined did have that “jaw dropping” element to them. Well glad to see that it’s still hitting the spot for you.

I'm just getting old and grumpy and sometimes the thought of having to shave my legs and everything else that goes with it for a meet can be too much hassle hahahahahahahahaha

When fab becomes more unenjoyably than enjoyable then I know its time to leave

My jaw didn’t drop because what the people in question wasn’t to my taste it was more a case of “Fuck this shit doesn’t just happen in pornos”

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Does my jaw hang open as much as it used to ?

No !

Do i get same thrills on here ??

Definately!!!!

Ha ha ha yeah some of the things I “discovered” and saw when I 1st joined did have that “jaw dropping” element to them. Well glad to see that it’s still hitting the spot for you.

I'm just getting old and grumpy and sometimes the thought of having to shave my legs and everything else that goes with it for a meet can be too much hassle hahahahahahahahaha

When fab becomes more unenjoyably than enjoyable then I know its time to leave

My jaw didn’t drop because what the people in question wasn’t to my taste it was more a case of “Fuck this shit doesn’t just happen in pornos” "

Haha yes totally get that ...whole new kinda education haha

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"My jaw didn’t drop because what the people in question wasn’t to my taste it was more a case of “Fuck this shit doesn’t just happen in pornos”

Haha yes totally get that ...whole new kinda education haha "

Yep I certainly didn’t get that kind of sex education at school that’s for sure!

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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago

Falkirk

"When I first joined the site you could send a message to someone who would then reply and a short conversation would begin and usually ended with you meeting for fun an hour or so later.

That has changed dramatically and I don’t really agree with the fact I’m getting older rather people are more sceptical and require a safety meet first.

The banter in the Forums is still the same just the faces or in some cases the silhouette changes.

I have left and come back a couple of times over the past 12 years but then I’m addicted to the site and need a real life "

Ive been here a long time too. Had a break for 18 months and it hasn’t really changed that much for me.

But I do think that in the last 3-4 years people have become less willing to take a risk with their own safety - which has to be a good thing surely.

Nowadays, people are definitely more safety conscious and I think that’s what has led to the decline in last minute hook ups. But I don’t think they’ve stopped completely.

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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago

Falkirk

But in answer to your original question OP, no, fan still works for me.

I guess it’s all down to how you use it and what you want out of it.

I don’t DO any social media, I don’t have the time and quite frankly, I can’t be assed. But fab is a nice distraction from time to time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's definitely not the same as it used to be. I have seen a big difference in the last few years. It still works for me though but only up to a point

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By *e DevilMan
over a year ago

Blantyre

Only being on Fab a couple of years but i agree with what was said earlier. Fab and us have both changed in the short time we have been on. Spontaneous meets in the beginning were common but now it seems more geared towards socials. Our criteria has changed massively too, more selective of who and the type of people we associate with and meet and play with.

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By *ickygirl41Woman
over a year ago

Glasgow

I actually still get that tummy swoop/excitement before a meet. Been here on and off for 3 years. Trick for me is to take a break for a couple of months if it's not feeling like fun then come back when it does. Self care is essential.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's definitely not the same as it used to be. I have seen a big difference in the last few years. It still works for me though but only up to a point

All mediums that involve human interaction by nature surely are fluid Cate, a friend who’s been on longer than than the developers dues state it less edgy but safer for lone women, surely that’s good

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By *earded blossomCouple
over a year ago

Glasgow

"Not harsh at all... I often question myself why I’m still here, the answer is usually the socials but even they don’t hold the same excitement anymore

K x

Again not being snidey, why has it changed for you?"

It’s more of a casual hookup site now ( in my opinion) I probably want different things than I wanted 6 years ago. Probably loads of other reasons as well but that might get me a timeout

K x

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By *ot Quickie NikkiWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

I only joined Fab a few months ago but was previously a member of another swingers site.

The swingers scene has changed but I still enjoy interacting with like minded people who are not shy about their wants or rather their needs. I think sites such as Fab are a good platform when trying to find people with the same dare I say level of kink as myself.

When it's totally lost it's shine I'll bow out gracefully but will take with me some really good memories of times that I've shared with the people I've met along the way.

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By *eiaorganaWoman
over a year ago

Dundee

I've never been one for spontaneous meets as I like my safety too much, but fab has definitely changed in my 5yrs here. But then my circumstances have too.

At the moment just trying to find decent people to have fun with is a chore, ing through all the crappy messages and dick pics from those too lazy to read a profile.

Sadly the guys who are sending decent messages and making an effort don't seem to be guys I'm attracted to. Definitely in a slump right now

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By *ola cubesMan
over a year ago

coatbridge

[Removed by poster at 04/10/18 19:21:58]

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By *ola cubesMan
over a year ago

coatbridge

To much emphasis on social media and folk love being butt hurt.

For me the site has not changed at all it's folks expectations that have changed

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"To much emphasis on social media and folk love being butt hurt.

For me the site has not changed at all it's folks expectations that have changed"

My expectations haven’t changed from the day I joined the site.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"It’s more of a casual hookup site now ( in my opinion) I probably want different things than I wanted 6 years ago. Probably loads of other reasons as well but that might get me a timeout

K x"

Ha ha ha know that feeling so well. There are times after I log off from here where I can’t talk I’ve had to bite my tongue that hard

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To much emphasis on social media and folk love being butt hurt.

For me the site has not changed at all it's folks expectations that have changed"
I don't agree kola

You and I both can remember back in the beginning it was way more friendly shall we say way more emphasis on sex meets and not a popularity contest it's like now?socials were may be 3 a yr and a fiver a head lol not like the once every other month and £15 £20 per head

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By *uietbloke67Man
over a year ago

outside your bedroom window ;-)

There does seem to be a social every 5 minutes and hey that may or may not be a good thing...I'm not a swinger to be fair but for me it's not a great deal different from years ago only I'm older and there is about a million more blokes.

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By *teve_it_aloneMan
over a year ago

Dunfermline

"I've never been one for spontaneous meets as I like my safety too much, but fab has definitely changed in my 5yrs here. But then my circumstances have too.

At the moment just trying to find decent people to have fun with is a chore, ing through all the crappy messages and dick pics from those too lazy to read a profile.

Sadly the guys who are sending decent messages and making an effort don't seem to be guys I'm attracted to. Definitely in a slump right now"

I get this. Been here off and on about the same time. I’ve had a few messages recently with a reasonable bit of effort put in, but which don’t float my boat, equally, I’ve sent a few, having also taken the time to write a proper personal message, only to be deleted moments after reading.

Horses for courses, I guess, but frustrating both ways!

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By *ola cubesMan
over a year ago

coatbridge

"To much emphasis on social media and folk love being butt hurt.

For me the site has not changed at all it's folks expectations that have changedI don't agree kola

Not having a pop at those but just a example.its more a Facebook what's everyone thinking forum rather than folk asking questions about sex or swinging and if they do they get shot down in flames with it's not instashag blah blah...as much as folk stamp their feet and huff n puff fab swingers is a sex site or...Was once."
that's kinda what I was meaning Another bit of it was if folk acted like buttnuggets they were treated as buttnuggets now it seems you must be super nice to everyone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To much emphasis on social media and folk love being butt hurt.

For me the site has not changed at all it's folks expectations that have changedI don't agree kola

Not having a pop at those but just a example.its more a Facebook what's everyone thinking forum rather than folk asking questions about sex or swinging and if they do they get shot down in flames with it's not instashag blah blah...as much as folk stamp their feet and huff n puff fab swingers is a sex site or...Was once.that's kinda what I was meaning Another bit of it was if folk acted like buttnuggets they were treated as buttnuggets now it seems you must be super nice to everyone "
oh heck rules me out then!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's definitely not the same as it used to be. I have seen a big difference in the last few years. It still works for me though but only up to a point

TD"

I beg to differ, it's not always safe for single women. We've got to be careful who we meet, where we meet and possibly to our homes as well. This is the very reason why I stick to who I already am seeing and built up trust with

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's definitely not the same as it used to be. I have seen a big difference in the last few years. It still works for me though but only up to a point

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I actually had a social this morning.

I was excited and really looking forward to the social.

yeah had a brilliant time and laugh

Yeha fab for me has changed making me more into socials first instead of spontaneous meets

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's definitely not the same as it used to be. I have seen a big difference in the last few years. It still works for me though but only up to a point

Agree with you Cate , I never intimated it’s totally safe , only a second game comment it’s Safer, but through the nature of Fab and others if your playing outside a controlled environment, there’s always the risk element , we just gotta be so so carefully

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's definitely not the same as it used to be. I have seen a big difference in the last few years. It still works for me though but only up to a point

Suppose the same could be going home with someone from a pub or nightclub. Your never truly 100% safe

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All down to correct judgement common sense and proper precautions in place , if that doesn’t sound like singing to the choir , I know

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"All down to correct judgement common sense and proper precautions in place , if that doesn’t sound like singing to the choir , I know

totally agree

but even that doesn't make you 100% safe from a maddie

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Consensus seems to be that it serves the desired purpose. However, there does also seem to be a significant number of people who like me think the site has changed and most definitely not for the better. Having read a couple of Forum posts just tonight and witnessed threads being hijacked for the purposes of personal vendettas, arrogance and condescension in spades I can see my contributions to the Forums being significantly scaled back.

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By *ittlemissnaughtybutniceWoman
over a year ago

Glasgow

Changing from a couple to a single profile has changed things. I also think you learn as you go the longer you are here. As a couple meets were spontaneous, as a single I take more time to decide & always socially first.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As they say P , only thing wrong with democracy is letting the people decide !!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Changing from a couple to a single profile has changed things. I also think you learn as you go the longer you are here. As a couple meets were spontaneous, as a single I take more time to decide & always socially first.

"
from a male perspective I never considered that Rosie

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By *luebell888Woman
over a year ago

Glasgowish

Im quite new so cant comment on years gone by but i was surprised at how many nice men, wanted nice sex in a nice bed. Frankly i joined Fab for more than that. I do enjoy the forums though and find them more entertaining than tv.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"As they say P , only thing wrong with democracy is letting the people decide !!!!

Oh come the revolution there would be a few getting lined against the wall

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Consensus seems to be that it serves the desired purpose. However, there does also seem to be a significant number of people who like me think the site has changed and most definitely not for the better. Having read a couple of Forum posts just tonight and witnessed threads being hijacked for the purposes of personal vendettas, arrogance and condescension in spades I can see my contributions to the Forums being significantly scaled back. "

In the past 10 years I would say that this type of thing has been at its worst on fab for over the past year or so. Fab unfortunately have to take the blame for this as there are people who actually, blatantly state they try and highjack threads and make threads go off track but they are allowed to continue.

I myself have seen this and the only time when I'm caught up on this by a few in particular who are constant. I like to think I never instigate it I sometimes just reply to a direct comments to me and try to bring it back on thread but I for one are really happy with the little green button as it tells the truth about people, including myself

Fab has without doubt changed since way back then and I think there are too many negatives since then than positives

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I could be wrong but I feel there are more fake couples profiles than ever before so even spontaneous meets with a couple are not guaranteed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As they say P , only thing wrong with democracy is letting the people decide !!!!

Oh come the revolution there would be a few getting lined against the wall

"
now there’s a thread to post , Who to readily offend in a polite manner that they realise tomorrow they’ve been offended

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"As they say P , only thing wrong with democracy is letting the people decide !!!!

Oh come the revolution there would be a few getting lined against the wall

now there’s a thread to post , Who to readily offend in a polite manner that they realise tomorrow they’ve been offended

Oh I couldn’t possibly comment

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You eloquently word it , I’ll post and take the flack P

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By *argaidMan
over a year ago

glasgow

Things I noticed when I joined Fab many years ago that are still prevalent:

Cliquey? yup

Quick to take offense? Yup

Sense of humour bypasses? Yup

Bitchy? Yup

Hypocrisy rife? Yup.

Sense of entitlement just because they have genitals? Yup

Once you winnow out the chaff it's worth it for the folk you meet? Yup.

So, no I don't see it as all that different. Just seen to be more folk who hit the block button for no reason at all.

Still lots of good, friendly folk and they seem to be the ones who last the course. The whiners and the pratts show up, think they'll be getting laid just by asking, get huffy when it ain't often like that and then they flounce out.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fab is like any other social sex site. You get what you give. You make of it what you will.

Mistress Amelia x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have been on and off for years and have great fun here..

But there is an element of those who feel.. (And im sure they are completely perfect specimens) that they can have a go at you or feel the need to tell you something insulting without even and contact...these are thd ones you probably wouldn't take a second look at when out...

Though this is the way of the world... Shame it has got on to this on here.. Should be a place where you feel like you're free and not judged......

Personally I'm here for fun, laughs and likeminded people..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am losing interest in fab to be honest. It's been a reasonable social tool when I have had spare time but I have only met two guys with whom I have enjoyed amazing fun with on here although I have had many meets and lots of requests to meet. I don't have the interest or inclination to meet for fun deep down at the moment although the few social events I have been to have been good - hosted by extremely likeable people.

It could well be that life's events have got in the way, who knows...time will tell.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes definitely, I’m losing faith in fab now to many fakes and time wasters to be honest

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fab has without doubt changed since way back then and I think there are too many negatives since then than positives

Agreed Peter

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Been 5 yrs now and I rarely meet. Too cliquey in parts. Too undiscrete in places and some truly truly mental nutcases who took all the pleasure out the place. I kick about here and the chat rooms but chances of another meet....unlikely

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By *egs11ABCWoman
over a year ago

Aberdeen

"Not harsh at all... I often question myself why I’m still here, the answer is usually the socials but even they don’t hold the same excitement anymore

K x

Again not being snidey, why has it changed for you?

It’s more of a casual hookup site now ( in my opinion) I probably want different things than I wanted 6 years ago. Probably loads of other reasons as well but that might get me a timeout

K x"

I agree with u. I never wanted 1 night stands and still don't but the majority of guys are looking for just that. For this reason it now takes me longer to arrange to meet cos I need to get up that rapore and suss someone out. Having said that iv got a lot of friends on the site that I mix socially and a couple of regular meets so still works for me x

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