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Worst chat up line used

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I still get embarressed when i think of it i had been on the drink most of the day and got chatting to a girl and i said if she came up the road with me she would cum with anticipation how cringe worth was that she did laugh. However she did come home with me and well lets leave it at that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I told o girl I had a trick up my sleeve, she said ‘oh are you gonna do a card show?’ I said ‘nope, I have a rag soaked in chloroform up my sleeve’... jokes on you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

“Come up seargent law rd carpark and get pumped”

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By *ickygirl41Woman
over a year ago

Glasgow

Worst chat up line was "c'mon hen, ah huvnae had any in ages"

Aye pal, there's a feckin reason for that y'know.

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By *ndykayMan
over a year ago

Falkirk

Worst chatup line ever was ‘you can’t be furry, you’ve not got your chest out’. To which I replied ‘you show me yours and I’ll show you mine’

Let’s just say I showed her mine too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Iv lost my teddy bear, will you sleep with me tonight ?

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By *arie79Woman
over a year ago

Stornoway

Worst one I've had was 'you look deflated, would you like a pump?' still laughed though.

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By *ilveryFoxMan
over a year ago

Midlothian


"Worst one I've had was 'you look deflated, would you like a pump?' still laughed though."

I’m stealing that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When in our twenties at the Glasgow Savoy nightclub, my mate Tam went up to a girl and took out a 10p and said, "go and phone your mammy and tell her you'll wont be home tonight"

The phone at the savoy took the ten pence lolllllllllllllllllll

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

About four months ago, I was asked by man, "can I take you for coffee then charm my way into your knickers?". I didn't answer him lol x

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By *outhsider69Man
over a year ago

glasgow

A female school friend of mine has the best coneback for one particularly cheesey line.

Whenever she was asked by a guy in a bar or club how she’d like her eggs in the morning, she’d just say...... unfertilised

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By *atsnTitsCouple
over a year ago

Land Of Naughtiness

Is your dad a chicken farmer cause you look like you know how to raise a cock

Is that a mirror in your pants cause I can see myself in them?

I hope you know CPR cause you just took my breath away

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My pall used this one a few years ago "if i was a fly id be a or you cus your the shit" still makes me laugh to this day thinking about it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Here you, you with the hair. Aye you, c'mere

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You're fuckjng hot....you must be Welsh "

Totally, totally random and I didn't even reply to him. The expression on my face simply said "wtf are you on about mate?" and he wandered off with his tail between his legs.

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By *ringles0510Woman
over a year ago

Central Borders

You're like my alarm clock, i would tap the shit out of that every morning

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By *ringles0510Woman
over a year ago

Central Borders

My dad thinks you'd be good for me

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By *ringles0510Woman
over a year ago

Central Borders

Can i sniff you senseless?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Can i sniff you senseless? "

This is my favourite

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By *ooking4othersMan
over a year ago

Here ...

When i was younger my mate used to just ask if they fancied a fuck ... I'm still amazed at how many said yes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I never forget one chat up line that worked, still can't get over it.

at a night out down in East Midlands, there was a girl walking by with a portion of chips, (yeah in the nightclub) and upon passing a group of guys, one of the guys tripped her up, and I mean his leg kept rising as he caught her leg n his leg eventually the height of basil fealty high step. She fell face first, her chips everywhere and said "oh you all right love" as he picked her up he said "you want some company" n she said "OK" and then they fecking sat down together chatting. When they did sit all his pals were shouting "yeeeahhhaaaa" n whole whistles etc....

Ffs at the time, imagine doing that to a girl in Glasgow, she'd break your nose

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By *ringles0510Woman
over a year ago

Central Borders


"Can i sniff you senseless?

This is my favourite "

I actually love these. Definitely puts a smile on my face and a very welcome change from "meet tonight?" and "wanna fuck?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A cracker here. Not sure whose chatting who up here right enough.

Again in the savoy, in with my mate who was d*unk. We both were standing on the dancefloor but he was about 6 or 8 years away, pissed, trying to dance but just swinging his arms about. This hot girl, whom you always noticed for months in the nightclub came straight up to me and said "why you noo trying to fire into me" hesitantly I looked about and said "sorry I cant, my mate says you don't like Anal" as I pointed to my mate.

She said, "what !, I fucking love anal" and then walked over to my mate, angrily, stood in front of him and looked at him and as he looked at her, she slapped him on the face shouting "I do love it up the ass, you prick".

He then came over to me, staggering, holding his red sore face and said "what the fuck happened there, is she into me"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A cracker here. Not sure whose chatting who up here right enough.

Again in the savoy, in with my mate who was d*unk. We both were standing on the dancefloor but he was about 6 or 8 years away, pissed, trying to dance but just swinging his arms about. This hot girl, whom you always noticed for months in the nightclub came straight up to me and said "why you noo trying to fire into me" hesitantly I looked about and said "sorry I cant, my mate says you don't like Anal" as I pointed to my mate.

She said, "what !, I fucking love anal" and then walked over to my mate, angrily, stood in front of him and looked at him and as he looked at her, she slapped him on the face shouting "I do love it up the ass, you prick".

He then came over to me, staggering, holding his red sore face and said "what the fuck happened there, is she into me" "

yards away, not years ffs, now that's why you should proof read

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By *othianGuy41Man
over a year ago

Brighton

Excuse me, but does this cloth smell weird?

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By *ogostick72Man
over a year ago

Scotland

Hi I'm a ventriloquist, let me put my hand up your dress and I'll make your lips move

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not the worst chat up line but it floored me for six - was on a stag do in Newcastle - eating a bag of chips along the Bigg Market and this busty honey just saw me and said “I’m starving - I’ll give u a blowjob for a chip” - I said “you shag me and I’ll give u the whole bag “

Needless to say I needed a fresh bag of chips later

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"A cracker here. Not sure whose chatting who up here right enough.

Again in the savoy, in with my mate who was d*unk. We both were standing on the dancefloor but he was about 6 or 8 years away, pissed, trying to dance but just swinging his arms about. This hot girl, whom you always noticed for months in the nightclub came straight up to me and said "why you noo trying to fire into me" hesitantly I looked about and said "sorry I cant, my mate says you don't like Anal" as I pointed to my mate.

She said, "what !, I fucking love anal" and then walked over to my mate, angrily, stood in front of him and looked at him and as he looked at her, she slapped him on the face shouting "I do love it up the ass, you prick".

He then came over to me, staggering, holding his red sore face and said "what the fuck happened there, is she into me" "
brilliant made me titter

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